All I Want For Christmas
by Cheryl Roberts
Summary: The truth behind the letter is darker than Tommy ever imagined. Can a little Christmas magic restore the light to Kim's life? Originally posted Aug 1998
1. Part I: A July Wedding

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. The Power Ranger characters belong to Saban (used without permission), but Olivia is all mine. While there's no adult content, the topic of rape is discussed, so be warned if you find this objectionable. August 1998

  
The story takes place five years after the infamous letter. 

All I Want for Christmas

by  Cheryl Roberts

Part 1:  A July Wedding

"Are you sure there isn't anything I can help with?" Tommy queried as Adam and Rocky put the finishing touches on their tuxedos.  When Rocky found out that Tommy was going to be at the wedding, he insisted on picking him up: _Don't want you showing up late_.  Tommy sighed to himself.  A lot had changed in the years since they had graduated from high school.  Racing for his uncle and owning his own dojo had gone a long way to correcting his old habit of being late; besides, he wouldn't have missed Aisha's wedding for the world.

Tommy had been immensely startled to receive the invitation.  He hadn't even known she was back in the States.  According to Adam, Aisha had come back to Angel Grove to go to school and had met Stephen in her Animal Sciences class.  After their wedding, the two were going to return to Kenya.  Adam and Rocky had been asked to be ushers, and Tanya was one of the bridesmaids.  Somehow, Tommy had always thought that Adam and Tanya would have been the first of their group to get married--once he and Kim had been taken out of the running.

_I wonder if Kim's going to be here?_  The questions startled him somewhat; he hadn't thought of Kim in quite some time, and he was surprised that the old ache was still there.  Tommy supposed he could ask the guys; however, he didn't have the nerve.

"Positive," Adam assured him.

"When are the other guests due to arrive?"

"Not for an hour, at least," Rocky replied.

"What am I going to do around here for an hour?" Tommy sighed.

"Hang out in the garden, I guess," Rocky offered.

"We need to go check in with Stephen," Adam said.

"Go ahead, I'll find something to occupy myself."

Tommy wandered back out to the vestibule.  The ceremony was being held out in the gardens behind the church.  He fingered his shirt collar.  _What was Aisha thinking?  It's too blasted hot to be sitting outside in pants and a sports coat.  I mean, it's July!_  However, she was used to the heat of the African savannah; this probably wasn't anything compared to that.

"Come on, sweetheart."

Tommy turned upon hearing Aisha's voice and bit back a smile.  She had emerged from the ladies' dressing room wearing a bright yellow bathrobe, slippers, and her white veil.  She had a tot in tow--a petite girl with long, chestnut colored hair, wide brown eyes, and the sweetest little smile; she appeared to be of Hispanic descent. She couldn't have been more than five or so.  She gazed up at Aisha with the most earnest expression.

"Am I in trouble, Auntie 'Isha?"

"Of course not, Honey.

"Why did Mommy send me away?"

"She didn't.  I just thought it might be a good idea if we could find someone to play with you," Aisha explained patiently.  You're just so excited and have so many questions that your mommy can't keep track of you and help me get dressed, too.  Plus she has to get dressed, too."  

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, I understand.  It's all right.  I'm just going to see if Rocky or Adam can keep an eye on you for a little while--just 'til we get things a little more settled in there.  Okay?"

"Do I know Rocky or Adam?  Mommy says I'm not supposed to talk to strange men."

_Can't think of anyone stranger than Rocky,_ Tommy laughed to himself, although, he knew he wasn't being very fair.

"Rocky and Adam are okay; they're two of my best friends. Your mommy knows them, too.  Say, I bet you've seen their pictures."

"If Mommy said it's okay, then I guess so."

"Is this the latest in bridal fashions?" Tommy quipped as the two stepped out into the vestibule.

"Wha . . Tommy?  Oh my God!"  With a delighted squeal, Aisha threw her arms around her old friend.  Tommy kissed her on the cheek.  "I'd forgotten that you were going to be here."

"I wouldn't have missed it."

"What are you doing here so early?  The invitation said noon."

"Rocky wanted to make sure I wasn't late."  Aisha just laughed and rolled her eyes.  "I couldn't help over hearing that you have a 'small' problem.  Could I be of service, since I have nothing else to do?"

"What a great idea!  You are a lifesaver."  Aisha turned to her diminutive companion.  Tommy noted that the girl shyly ducked behind Aisha, but she continued to gaze up at him with wide eyes.  He offered her his warmest smile.

"Hi, I'm Tommy."  She shrank back from his extended hand and looked up to Aisha questioningly.

"It's okay, sweetheart.  Tommy is an old friend, too."

"Just like Rocky and Adam?  Have I seen his picture?"

"I'm sure you have."

Tommy didn't know what to make of Aisha's smile.

"Why don't I leave you two to get better acquainted.  Thanks again, Tommy.  I'll send someone for her when we're ready."

"Don't worry about it.  I can keep an eye on her until the ceremony is over if you'd like."

"That'd be great!  I gotta get going.  You be good for Tommy, okay?'

" 'Kay, Auntie Isha."

Aisha scurried off to finish getting dressed, leaving the two to introduce themselves.

"By the way, I didn't catch your name," Tommy began.  He had always been pretty good with kids; working with the kids at the dojo was a joy and had taught him a lot.

"It's Tommi, too!" the girl exclaimed.  "Tommi Olivia, but Mommy always calls me Olivia."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Olivia."  As he shook her hand, the girl smiled.  "So what should we do for the next hour?"

"I don't know.  I've never been to a wedding before," Olivia answered, scuffing the toe of her right shoe into the floor.  "Auntie 'Isha said that if Unca Stephen hadn't promised his little sister she could be the flower girl, she would have asked me.  I'm kinda glad she didn't.  I don't know what flower girls do."

"They have very important jobs.  They're the very first ones to walk down the aisle," Tommy replied.

"Really?"

"Yes.  And they carry flowers.  Sometimes they even get to sprinkle flower petals along the way."

"Do you think maybe someday I'll get to be a flower girl?  They get to wear really fancy dresses, don't they?" Olivia gushed, her face positively glowing.   'Isha showed me Carla's dress.  It was so beautiful--with lots of lace and everything!"  Then, her expression fell.  "I've never worn a _really_ fancy dress before."

"Well, I think the one you have on is very pretty."

"Really?"  Hope lit the girl's round eyes.  She spun around, showing off  her dress.  "It isn't new or anything.  It used to be plain, but Mommy bought some lace and ribbons and things and made it look fancy."

Tommy had the feeling that that might have been the case.  He could tell by the scuffed shoes and the way the dress was a bit worn and fit slightly large.  It was something else he had learned from observing his students: knowing the signs of a family trying to scrape by.  It helped to know that sort of thing when it came time to collect for the lessons.  On several occasions, Tommy had extended the payment period for one of his students when he saw the signs.  The parents were always grateful, and he was glad he could do so with causing anyone any embarrassment.

"I especially like this little pink rosebud," Tommy said, lightly tapping the ribbon rose in the center of the collar.

"I like it, too."

"What say we head outside? We've got lots of time to kill, and I believe there's a swing out there."

"I love swings!" Olivia chirped, practically bouncing in place.  Then her face became serious again.  "But I can't mess up my dress."

"We'll be very careful.  After you, Princess," Tommy announced, getting the door for her.  With a giggle, Olivia dashed outside.

*

"Higher!" Olivia demanded gleefully, feet and hair flying as she swung back to Tommy.

"I can't.  This swing isn't made to go that high," Tommy replied.  After all, it was only a porch swing.  Besides, he was starting to work up a sweat.  He was having quite a time keeping up with Olivia; she was a regular little dynamo, and her chatter was constant.  She was a bright girl--and very perceptive.  Still, her company made the hour fly by quickly, and Tommy noticed that other guests were beginning to arrive.

"Hey, Princess, I think you and I had better get cleaned up," Tommy said as he pulled the swing to a stop.

"Oh, okay," she agreed grudgingly.  She hopped off the swing and brushed at her dress and hair as Tommy slipped his jacket back on.  She pouted when the strands of hair wouldn't stay where she patted them down.  "My hair's all wild!"

"I believe I can fix that."

"_You_ know how to braid hair?"

"Of course I do.  My hair is almost as long as yours, you know."

"Really?"

Tommy turned to show off his ponytail.

"I didn't know boys could have long hair."

"Sure they can.  Okay, so what kind of braid do you want?  Regular or fancy?"

"A fancy one!"

"Let's go sit on the steps and see what I can do."

It had been a while since he had done anyone else's hair . . . not since Kim left.  She was forever asking him to help her with her hair--not that she really needed it.  She had been the one to teach him the different types of braids and things.  He had never minded.  Actually, he had really missed sharing that with her; it had been something special between the two of them.  Kat had never asked and he had never offered.

Olivia made a valiant effort to sit still as Tommy pulled out the remains of her existing braid and set to work.  His fingers seemed to remember how to twist the hair around.  As he was working, the pastor's wife passed by several times as she hustled in and out of the parsonage to put the finishing touches on the wedding preparations.

"You are so good with her," she murmured in passing on one of her numerous trips.

"Thanks."

"You really have a lovely daughter."

"But . . . ."  However, she was gone before Tommy could correct her.

"Why did that lady call me your daughter?" Olivia wondered.

"I don't know.  Maybe she thinks we look alike."  Tommy could see it.  Their hair was almost the same color, Olivia's being a little lighter and a bit more red.  They had the same dark eyes and thick lashes.  However, Olivia's features were a little sharper, her face more heart shaped.

"But you're not my daddy; I don't have a daddy," Olivia continued.

For a moment, Tommy was too stunned to say anything.  He had just assumed that Olivia's father had been unable to attend the wedding.  When he glanced down, he noticed that the girl's expression was sad.  Maybe her father had died or her parents were divorced or something.  His heart went out to the little girl.  It was funny, but in the short time that he had known Olivia, she had wrapped herself around his heart.  He hadn't had someone get so close so quickly since the first time he laid eyes on Kim.

"I'm sorry," Tommy murmured, offering her a hug.  No wonder her mother was fixing up second hand clothing for her; it must be pretty difficult being a single parent.

Single parents made him think of Maggie Donovan; her son Chris was one of his best students.  The family lived in his neighborhood; he'd see her or the kids at the laundromat or at the supermarket.  A single mom with three kids . . . he didn't know how she did it.  Knowing her made him appreciate the difficulties better, and any woman who could raise a child by herself deserved his respect.

"It's okay," Olivia sighed, "but sometimes I wish I had a daddy."

Tommy could relate, somewhat.  He knew what it was like to wonder about a parent.  As a kid, he had often wondered what his birth parents had been like, and he had always counted himself grateful that his parents had adopted him after his real folks had died.

"I asked my mommy about my daddy once," Olivia prattled on, "but she told me she didn't know who my daddy was."

The child's second bombshell blew Tommy away.  How could she not know who the father was?  The obvious thing that came to mind was that Olivia was adopted, but from what little he knew of adoption practices, it was highly unlikely that a single parent would have been allowed to adopt a child.  Unless Olivia's mother had been married at the time the adoption was put through and then something happened . . . . Well, a woman didn't necessarily have to be married to want a family.  Hadn't Laura Wells gone to a sperm bank--at least, that was the scuttlebutt around the coffee shop.  Really, it could be any number of reasons.  A one night stand?  Maybe Olivia's mom just didn't want her daughter knowing her father.  From the few conversations he'd had with Maggie, she often wished her boys didn't know their father--something having to do with drugs, if he remembered correctly.

Thinking of Maggie brought to mind another possibility, one Tommy might not ever have considered had it not touched a little close to home: rape.  He had a student, Sarah . . . Maggie volunteered at the Rape Crisis Center, and she had brought the girl (she might have been sixteen) to his school thinking the classes would help her rebuild her self-confidence.  He shook his head, remembering the skittish, frightened girl.  She had barely begun the class when she left; Maggie later told him that she had found out she was pregnant and had to make a decision.  

Tommy never knew what happened to her, but he would never forget her either.  Could something like that have happened to Olivia's mother?  If so, the woman had Tommy's utmost respect.  It couldn't have been easy to decide against an abortion.  No one would have held it against her.  But to carry the baby to term and then decide not to put her up for adoption . . . . Of course, the reason for Olivia's statement was probably something less traumatic.  He'd never been one to jump to conclusions; it wouldn't do for him to start now.

"There," Tommy said at last.  "I think that does it."

"Do I look pretty?" Olivia asked.

"You are the most beautiful little girl here, and I am so lucky that I get to sit next to you," Tommy answered.  Olivia smiled shyly.  

"There you are!" Rocky called out as he hurried over.

"Hey, Rocky."  Tommy noted that Olivia drew back warily.

"Aisha told me to see where you'd gotten to.  Who's your date?" Rocky teased.

"This is Olivia.  Olivia, this is Rocky."

"The one Auntie 'Isha told me about?"

"Yes."

"Aisha wants to get things started.  I'm supposed to seat you close to her parents."

"We're ready, aren't we?"

"Yep!"

Tommy held Olivia's hand as they followed Rocky to the aisle carpet.  However, before they started up the white walkway, he bent over one of the flower arrangements.

"Tommy!" Olivia scolded as he pulled a rosebud out of the spray.

"I don't think Aisha will mind.  Besides, a pretty girl deserves to have a pretty flower," he said, handing her the pale pink bud.

"For me?  Really?"

"This way you'll almost be like a flower girl."

Olivia stood as tall as she could as she accompanied Tommy to their seats.

"A little young, don't you think?" Rocky hissed.

"You're just jealous because I'm with the best looking girl here," Tommy hissed back.

"You have all the luck.  Catch you after the ceremony."

_Luck?  Once maybe, but that was a long time ago,_ Tommy sighed.  Aloud he said, "Just don't leave without me."

Olivia could hardly sit still in her chair.  She fidgeted about, looking this way and that.  Tommy had to stifle a laugh as she nearly jumped out of her shoes as the music began.

"Is it time to start?" she whispered to Tommy.

"I think so."

The two turned to see the curly-haired flower girl standing frozen at the foot of the aisle.  Tommy guessed she was at least a year older than Olivia.

"Why doesn't she move?  My mommy can't have her turn if Carla doesn't go," Olivia said impatiently.  

Someone finally prompted the frightened child, and she haltingly started up the walk, her little basket clutched tightly in her fists.  There were three bridesmaids in all, each escorted by a groomsmen.  Olivia oohed and aahed as she saw the women in their breezy, sunshine yellow dresses and the men in their smart tuxes.

"They all look so fancy," she murmured.

Tommy didn't recognized either of the first pair to make their way down the aisle, but Tanya and her escort were next.  He caught a glimpse of Adam as Tanya swept past him.  _As bad as he was in high school,_ Tommy mused, noting the love-struck look in Adam's eyes.  Had he been that bad when he and Kim were together?  He tried to ignore the old ache in his heart; he'd tormented himself enough over what could have been.  This was Aisha's day, and he wanted to be happy for her.

"There she is!" Olivia squeaked excitedly, clutching Tommy's arm.  "There's my mommy!  Isn't she the most beautifulest of all the bridesmaids?"

Tommy smiled at Olivia's obvious pride in her mother.  It was all he could do to keep her from jumping up and running to meet her mom.  Then, Tommy looked up to see for himself, and he felt as if he had been kicked in the stomach.  Walking down the aisle as the maid of honor was Kim!  He hadn't seen her in five and a half years . . . since their last Christmas together.  Tommy's throat went dry; she looked as beautiful as he remembered--even more so.  Her caramel colored hair was pinned up in a soft twist--flowers and baby's breath the only ornaments she wore.  Her doe brown eyes seemed to shine, and her smile took Tommy's breath away.  She looked positively radiant, and she seemed to brighten as she caught sight of Olivia.

"That's your mommy?" Tommy gulped out numbly.

"Uh huh.  Hi, Mommy!" Olivia called out, but softly, waving energetically.

Kim grinned and looked away--God, he remembered how she always used to do that!  Then, Tommy felt Kim's eyes meet his.  The smile faded, replaced by complete astonishment.  However, she quickly recovered herself and finished her walk, but Tommy noticed that she still looked shaken.

Tommy never even saw Aisha make her way down the aisle.  He never heard the minister's words or the exchange of vows; his whole attention was riveted on Kimberly.  From time to time, Tommy noticed Kim nervously glancing his way.  Then, he'd see her eyes fall on her daughter, and he couldn't help but smile at the love that shone therein.  Her eyes used to shine so for him, once upon a time.  Tommy regarded the little girl by his side thoughtfully as one question burned through his mind: _Oh man, Kim, what happened?_

* * *

_Aisha Karan Campbell-Stone, why didn't you tell me!_

Kim's hands trembled as she clutched her bouquet, waiting to follow the newlyweds from the altar.  The whole wedding had passed by in a blur; she hadn't been able to concentrate on a thing once her eyes met Tommy's.

_Why didn't you tell me he was here!_

Kim snuck a sideways glance at her daughter and her former boyfriend as she swept past.  God, it hurt to see him again.  He looked more gorgeous than she remembered.  She had to fight the tears.  Seeing Tommy again had done more than just startle her; it had brought back all the old memories--good and bad.  Her chest and throat felt tight, and she felt a cold lump in her stomach.  She had always wondered how she'd react if she ever saw Tommy again; she had prayed that she never would.  After what happened . . . she couldn't bear for him to know the truth.

Olivia waved at her again, and she couldn't keep from smiling--even as she couldn't fight back the tears.  They could be tears of happiness for all anyone could tell.  Only she knew that they weren't.  She had kept her eye on Tommy and Olivia all throughout the ceremony.  She couldn't believe how well they seemed to get along.  She had caught them smiling and whispering and laughing, and Olivia even seemed to mind him.  Kim was astounded; she had never seen her daughter take to someone she had just met so well--especially a man.  It killed Kim to know that her daughter had picked up on her own reticence.  _Try fear. You'd think after five years it wouldn't be so bad . . . ._  However, Kim knew that Tommy had always been great with children.  _And maybe Olivia can see what I saw in him the first time I met him._  She had looked into those soft brown eyes and saw the gentlest, kindest, most caring soul she had ever known.  _And I sent him away._

Kim took her place in the receiving line, a false smile plastered on her face as she shook hands with the throng of relatives, friends, and other well wishers.

"Aisha," she hissed menacingly under her breath.  "Why didn't you tell me about Tommy!"

"It completely slipped my mind that he was going to be here, and then we got so busy with the dresses and stuff . . . ." Aisha whispered back as she disengaged from a hug.

"I thought you said you were going to leave Olivia with Adam and Rocky.  How could you let Tommy . . . ?"

"I was, but Tommy was there, and he offered to look after her.  What's the big deal?  If there was anyone you trusted with Olivia, I would have thought it'd be Tommy."

Kim knew Aisha was right; she couldn't think of anyone she trusted more than Tommy.  She had trusted him with her life when they were Rangers, and even more importantly, she had trusted him with her heart.  But then, she lost the ability to trust anyone . . . .

"I . . . I didn't want Tommy to know." she mumbled.

"I didn't tell him who she was.  If he knows, he learned it from Olivia."  Aisha turned to face her.  "Kim, you're going to have to face him sooner or later.  You've been talking about coming home to Angel Grove ever since Olivia was born; Angel Grove isn't all _that_ big.  You were bound to run into him eventually.  Besides, you _owe_ him an explanation.  The guys told me how bad he took it when he got your letter; he deserved better than that."

"I know," Kim choked out softly.  "I just couldn't tell him the truth.  I was too afraid to; after the way my mom took it . . . I couldn't have handled it if he'd abandoned me, too."

"So you abandoned him first.  Tommy wouldn't have done that.  He loved you so much; I can't believe _that_ would have changed the way he felt."

"It changed the way my mother felt," Kim said bitterly.  Then, Kim composed herself as 30 lbs. of pure energy came charging at her.

"Mommy!" Olivia cried gleefully, flinging her arms around Kim's legs.

"Hey, Sweetheart," Kim said, stooping down to hug and kiss her daughter.  In spite of everything she had endured, she never regretted for an instant keeping her child.

"Oh, Mommy, you look so beautiful!"

"Thank you.  So what did you think of the wedding?"

"Well, I was kinda bored, but I still had fun.  Hey, where's Tommy . . . Tommy, come say hi to my mommy!"  Olivia dashed off to retrieve her companion.

Kim braced herself as her daughter tugged Tommy towards her.  She wasn't ready yet.  She couldn't bear to see . . . she'd look into those eyes of his and she'd know.  She wasn't sure she could face the hurt and anger that he must feel for what she had done to him.

Then, he was standing before her.  Kim could only stare; her voice seemed to have taken a coffee break.  She felt ridiculous; she hadn't been this nervous the first time she had ever spoken to him!  Kim's eyes took in every detail.  In spite of herself, his eyes seemed to draw her in, and to her astonishment, she saw no anger or pain.  There was sadness, loneliness, and a faint ember of the affection he once had for her.  Suddenly, she wondered what he saw in hers.

"Mommy, this is Tommy," Olivia bubbled. 

"Hello, Kim," Tommy said, his voice husky.  The warmth of his voice washed over Kim like a warm wave.

"Hey, Tommy."

_Just take it easy,_ she told herself.  _There's no way he can know the truth . . . Olivia doesn't even know.  He probably thinks I'm happily married--with a family--and my husband couldn't make it to the wedding._

"You know my mommy?" Olivia queried, tugging at Tommy's trouser leg.

"We're old friends from school," Tommy answered.  He took Kim's hands and leaned forward to give her a gentle peck on the cheek.

His touch on her hands was light; he wasn't even standing that close, and the kiss . . . it wasn't any big deal.  He had greeted Tanya the same way: a display of affection for an old friend.  Yet, Kim's trembling shot off the charts.  She couldn't stop shaking, and the urge to pull away--to run--was crushingly strong.  Only the desire not to cause a scene at Aisha's wedding kept her from fleeing.  To her embarrassment, Tommy seemed to pick up on her distress.  He eyed her wonderingly as he released her hands and took a step back, giving her more room.

Kim couldn't seem to catch her breath.

"Mommy, are you okay?"

"I'm . . . fine, honey," Kim lied, forcing a smile for her daughter.  Olivia could be such a worrywart; sometimes it seemed the child spent more time worrying about the mother than the other way around.

"You're looking great, Kim; it's good to see you again."

"Y-you to, Tommy."  Kim was grateful he was willing to pretend that nothing was amiss--for the moment, but she could tell he wanted to ask.

"And you have a wonderful daughter; she's very much like you."

Kim blushed.  "Thank you. And thanks for keeping an eye on her this morning."

"It's been a pleasure."

"Look at the flower Tommy gave me!" Olivia beamed, proudly holding up her pink rose.

"It's very beautiful, and that was very nice of Tommy."  Kim could feel the tears threatening.  

"Okay, folks!  We have pictures to take!" Stephen called out as the last of the guests left the receiving area.

"This is quite a production," Tommy remarked.

"Aisha had wanted a small wedding, but Stephen's mom was really wanting a big to-do," Kim explained as they started to drift back out to the gazebo.  "His parents offered to pay for it all, so they took them up on the offer."

"Mommy, I'm hungry," Olivia complained.

"It's going to be a little while yet, Sweetie," Kim sighed apologetically.  "I'm not sure how long the pictures will take, and then there's something going on at the Stone's house...."

"Hey, I can take Olivia and get her some lunch it you'd like," Tommy offered.

"Tommy, that's really sweet, but I wouldn't want to impose . . . ."

"It's not like I have anything else going on until the reception," he pointed out.  "I'm sure you have a lot of things to do yet with Aisha and the wedding.  I really wouldn't mind."

Kim bit her lip uncertainly. She was tempted to take him up on his offer.  They did have a lot to do, and she really wouldn't be able to keep an eye on Olivia as she'd like.  However, she had never left Olivia alone with anyone else for more than a half an hour at the most.  This morning had been the first time.

"What's keeping you, girl?" Aisha called out.

"I'll be there in a minute!"

Kim looked from Tommy to her daughter; actually, she felt a little guilty even considering his proposal. Still, she hadn't seen Aisha in a while and hadn't been able to spend much time with her this weekend.  And it had been so long since she had done a thing without Olivia . . . she didn't know if she could anymore.  Kim sighed.  Really, she was being a little foolish; she knew she could trust her daughter to Tommy's care.  "Would you like to go with Tommy to get some lunch?"

"Yes!" Olivia cheered.

In a way, Kim felt a little hurt that her daughter was so eager to go.  "Then I guess it's okay."

"Don't worry about a thing, Kim; we'll be fine," Tommy assured her.  "What time would you like me to bring her back?  Although, I can keep an eye on her until the reception, if you'd like.  I'm sure you could use the time."

"Tommy, no.  I couldn't ask . . . ." 

"You're not asking; I'm offering," he reminded her with a teasing smile.

"I don't know; Olivia's never spent much time without me around."

"If you'd rather I not . . . ."

"No . . . it's just that . . .  ."

"Tell you what, Olivia and I will get some lunch and maybe go by the park or something; the minute she wants to come back, we will.  Otherwise, we'll see you at the reception.  Sound fair enough?"

"Please, Mommy?" Olivia entreated.  She was bouncing up and down with excitement, and Kim couldn't resist her hopeful expression.

"All right.  You behave for Tommy."

"I promise."

"Kim . . . !" Aisha called again.

"All right!  Can I have a hug?"  Kim knelt down and was promptly tackled by her delighted child.

"I'm glad you know Tommy, Mommy," Olivia confided in hushed tones.  "He's really nice, and I really like him."

Kim struggled to keep her emotions in check.

_So do I, Sweetie, so do I._

She stood in the gateway and watched as Tommy and Olivia walked off.  They paused to talk to Rocky for a moment, then the three headed out to the parking lot.  With a heavy heart, Kim turned to rejoin the rest of the wedding party.  She quietly took a seat behind Aisha and Tanya as they waited for the photographer to finish up with Stephen's family.

" . . . no way," Aisha gasped to something Tanya had told her.  "The way she'd been after him, I'd have thought they'd have been married with their own kids by now."

Tanya shook her head.  "It didn't last.  They both realized there was nothing there pretty early on in the relationship.  They stayed together just so no one else would know.  When Kat left for London, that was it.  Adam says Tommy hasn't dated anyone since."

Kim blinked her eyes in surprise.  Not to hear that Tommy and Kat had dated--she had always assumed that's what happened.  It was that Tommy wasn't seeing anyone and hadn't for quite a while.  Why?  He should have had no problem finding someone else.

"Because of Kim?" Aisha asked.

"He's never said, but we think so."

"Because of me--what?" Kim piped up.

"That he's never dated . . . face it, girl.  The man is obviously still in love with you," Aisha snorted.

"That's impossible," Kim said in a choked whisper.

"Is it?" Tanya wondered.  "Even I could tell there was still something there when I saw him with you in the receiving line, and the way he was with Olivia . . . ."

Kim didn't want to believe it.  Tommy couldn't still be in love with her, could he?  She knew that she still loved him, but there was no way that they could ever be together again.

"Speaking of the munchkin, where is she?" Aisha interrupted.

"She was hungry, so Tommy offered to take her to lunch," Kim said.

"And you let her go?" Aisha gasped.  Kim scowled at her teasing grin.

"Please, Aisha . . . ." Kim sighed; she wasn't in the mood.

"Kim, you have to talk to him," Tanya advised.  Kim hadn't known Tanya for very long, just since Aisha had been planning her wedding, but she had clicked with this former Yellow Ranger as easily as she had with Aisha.  

"I know . . . I just don't know how."

* * *

"Thanks, Rocky," Tommy said as he helped Olivia out of Rocky's jeep.

"No problem.  Now I'd better get back before Aisha skins me alive for running off during the pictures. You two have fun, and I'll see you at dinner," Rocky answered.

"Bye!" Olivia called brightly, waving as Rocky pulled away from the curb.  "I like him.  He's funny."

"Yeah, Rocky's a great guy.  He has lots of brothers and sisters," Tommy replied.  Rocky had dropped him off at his parent's house so he could pick up his truck.

"I wish I had a brother or sister," Olivia sighed wistfully.  "Sometimes it's lonely with just me and Mommy.   She has to teach and stuff and can't play with me.  And the other girls at the gym are all older than me, and they don't want to play either.  Well, maybe they would if Coach Schmidt would let them."

"Kim teaches at Coach Schmidt's training facility?" Tommy reiterated.

"Uh huh.  We live there, too."

"Up you go, Princess," Tommy said, swinging Olivia into the front seat.  For a moment, he thought about borrowing his mother's car.  After all, he really shouldn't have her in the front seat, but a quick glance showed that his mom wasn't home yet.

As he fastened Olivia in, Tommy mulled over her information.  She and Kim were living in the training center's dormitory.  Tommy recalled Kim writing to him about it when she first got down to Florida.  She had thought about getting an apartment but thought she'd get to know her other teammates better if she stayed in the gym's housing.  Why wouldn't she have moved into an apartment when the baby came along?  

He was trying to piece together what might have happened to Kim.  Olivia was going to be five in September--as she had proudly announced when he had been swinging her--that meant Kim had gotten pregnant the January before she sent him the letter.  She had probably missed the games then, too.  Tommy hadn't been able to bring himself to watch the Pan Globals, but he had paid attention to the news reports.  Since Kim was never mentioned, he had assumed that she hadn't medaled.  The scenario could very well have been that Kim had met someone in Florida and gotten pregnant--which would have explained why she had broken up with him.  It was plausible . . . .

"So, where do you want to go?  McDonald's?" Tommy queried, sliding into his seat.  His speculations could wait; a hungry, almost-five-year-old could not.

"McDonald's?  Really?" Olivia gasped, reacting as if he'd said he'd seen Santa Claus or something.

"Sure."

"But it's not even my birthday."

"You only go to McDonald's on your birthday?"

"Uh huh.  It's something very special."

_Kim always was really conscious about eating healthy, _Tommy reminded himself.  Just because they didn't go to McDonald's very often didn't mean anything.  Still, he had a feeling . . . living in a dorm, second hand clothes . . . but Kim couldn't have been too badly off if she could afford the trip to come home.  Things could be tight without being desperate.  Maybe they just had to cut back here and there to save for the trip.

"Well, isn't today a special occasion?" Tommy asked, trying to cover his surprise.

"I guess so."

"Then McDonald's it is."

*

Tommy sat back against the cool wall exhaustedly as Olivia clambered into the maze of pipes in the play land.  How could Kim keep up with her?  The only reason he had gotten out of playing in the plastic jungle was because he was too big to fit!  And the chatter . . . !  He thought he dealt with kids just fine, but he had never had to deal with them in such a concentrated form.  He was grateful for the peace and quiet.  He had a lot to think about.

In a way, he felt a little guilty.  He knew quite a bit more about Kim's present situation, thanks to her daughter's volubility.  He hadn't needed to ask a single question.  He was sure Kim wouldn't have wanted him to know much of it.  Olivia hadn't told him anything major, but all the  little things added up to a very bleak picture--although, one couldn't have told it from watching Olivia.  It was the only life she knew, so she didn't know she was missing anything.  Tommy was proud of the job Kim had done with raising her child.  Olivia was happy, healthy . . . but what had been the toll on Kim?

"Tommy . . . ." a plaintive cry interrupted him.  He looked up to see Olivia standing before him with great big crocodile tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What's wrong?  Did you get hurt?" he asked.  Kim would kill him if anything happened to her little girl!

"No," Olivia sniffled.  "This boy in the tubes . . . he was squishing this little white thing, and it broke and . . . ."  She didn't even need to finish.  There was ketchup all over the front of her dress.  What was that kid doing with a ketchup packet in the play room anyway!

"My beautiful dress is all ruined!"

"No it isn't.  Let's get some napkins and see if we can get you cleaned up," Tommy consoled her.

"Is Mommy going to be mad?"

"No, honey.  It wasn't your fault.  Besides, we'll get this wiped up, and she'll never even know anything happened."  However, the condiment proved more difficult to clean up than Tommy anticipated.  His wiping only seemed to make matters worse; he had forgotten how hard it was to get a ketchup stain out.  Tommy sat back with a huff and brushed a stray strand of hair out of his face.  "Okay . . . ."

Olivia was still sniffling and on the verge of tears again.  "What are we going to do?"

"We're going to go talk to an expert on ketchup stains," Tommy decided.

"Who's that?"

"My mother."

*

Fortunately for Tommy, his mother's car was in the driveway when he pulled up.  He led Olivia around to the back door.

"Hey, Mom," he called out.

"Tommy?  What are you doing here?" Janice Oliver queried as she shut the refrigerator door.  Her hazel eyes widened as she noticed the tot he had in tow.  "I thought you were at Aisha's wedding?"

"There are a couple hours between the ceremony and dinner," Tommy explained.

"Who's your little friend?"

"Mom, I'd like you to meet Olivia Hart."  Tommy saw the expression of disbelief and noted the question in his mother's eyes.  He nodded in confirmation.  His mother looked like she wanted to take a seat.  He couldn't blame her.  If he hadn't been sitting down when he found    out . . . .  "Olivia, this is my mom, Janice Oliver."

"H-hello," Olivia mumbled.

"It's nice to meet you.  What brings the two of you here?"

"We were at McDonald's and had a little accident with a ketchup packet," Tommy explained.

"I didn't have the accident; that boy squirted me!" Olivia snapped in defense of herself.  Tommy hid his smile; Olivia sounded so much like her mother.

"Anyway, we have to get the ketchup out before I take her back to Kim."

"Let's head upstairs and see what we can do," Jan said.  "It isn't dry clean only, is it?"

"I don't think so."

"Mommy has washed this lots of times," Olivia supplied.

"Good, then we can soak it in the sink with some Woolite.  Tommy, go get a t-shirt from my dresser; the poor thing would be hopelessly lost in one of your old ones."

"Tommy, where's the bathroom?" Olivia asked suddenly.  "I gotta go potty."

"It's upstairs.  I'll show you," he said, thankful that issue hadn't come up at McDonald's as well.  

"You get the shirt, I'll show our guest to the bathroom then help her out of her dress," Jan spoke up, and the trio headed for the stairs.

Tommy dug around in his mother's drawer until he located what he imagined was the smallest t-shirt she owned.  When he turned, he wasn't surprised to find his mother standing in the doorway.

"That's Kimberly's little girl?" Jan queried.

"Yes.  Kim's Aisha's maid of honor, and Olivia was kind of underfoot so I offered to keep an eye on her."

"Beautiful child.  If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was yours."

"I know.  The minister's wife told me I had a lovely daughter."

"He must have looked an awful lot like you," Jan murmured.

"He?"

"Kim's husband.  Olivia's father.  The man she left you for."

Perhaps it was merely wishful thinking, but Tommy felt sure that there hadn't been another man.  At the very least, there wasn't now.  When he held Kim's hand, he hadn't felt a wedding ring.  He knew what his mother was trying to do; she was trying to remind him of what happened so he wouldn't get hurt again.  He couldn't blame her for wanting him to be cautious; his rekindled interest was hardly disguised, and he had hurt for so long the first time.  However, before he could address her statement, Olivia emerged from the bathroom wearing nothing but her panties.  Her beaming face was smeared with red streaks.

"I didn't need any help to get undressed!" she declared proudly.  Tommy and his mother exchanged amused smiles.

* * *

"Where are they?" Kim wondered, anxiously glancing towards the door.

"Will you chill out," Aisha instructed exasperatedly.  "There's plenty of time before dinner yet.  I think you'd have been better off if you'd have kept Olivia with you.  You haven't been able to relax for a moment since she left with Tommy."

"I'm sorry.  It's just that . . . ."

"I know.  You've never been away from her this long before," Aisha sighed.  "You shouldn't worry so much; I bet Olivia had the time of her life this afternoon."

It was Kim's turn to sigh.  "I'm sure she did."

Aisha just shook her head.  "Would it make you feel any better if I put Olivia at the head table with you?  I have her at the table with my parents and Tommy, but if you'd rather I didn't, there's still time . . . ."

"There's no reason to rearrange things.  I'm just being silly."

"Just talk to him, Kim.  You aren't going to be able to enjoy yourself tonight until you do."

Kim wished it was that easy.

"Come on," Aisha harumphed, noting Kim's hesitant expression.  "Let's see if we can find you something to do to keep your mind occupied."

Kim's appointed task was to light all the candles in the centerpieces--a job not requiring more than just a modicum of her attention, so her thoughts were still free to wander.  She knew she was being overly sensitive, but she couldn't help but be worried about what Tommy thought about Olivia, her situation . . . .  Tommy wouldn't interrogate Olivia, but Kim knew her daughter.  When Olivia warmed up to someone, she could talk his ear off.  She wouldn't think anything of telling Tommy about herself; she wouldn't know that what was just everyday living for her would seem so . . . pathetic to someone else, and Kim couldn't bear the thought that Tommy thought badly about her . . . .

She felt tears gathering in her eyes and brushed them away angrily.  Let him think what he wanted!  She had done the best she could.  Her daughter was happy, healthy--so what if they didn't have a lot of things.  She had a job; she wasn't on welfare.  She couldn't help it if she had no insurance and the medical bills were taking every cent she had or that she was having to live on her credit card to get by.  Lots of people had those problems.  Surely Tommy could understand that.

_. . . he could if you told him,_ Kim chided herself, but she wasn't sure if she could deal with Tommy's pity, or worse, his condemnation--his justified 'it serves you right.'  

_You know Tommy wouldn't do that to you; he's not that sort of person._  At least, he hadn't been when they were young and in love.  There was no telling what five years had done to him.

Kim tossed aside the lighter and fled to the restroom.  For five years, she had been a rock.  She had been abandoned to bring her daughter into the world alone, to raise her alone, and she had to be strong for them both.  Now, one look at Tommy, and she felt like that scared seventeen year old all over again.

*

Tommy and Olivia arrived at the hall amid a crush of other guests.

"I can't see Mommy," Olivia piped up as she jumped about, trying to catch a glimpse through the much taller bodies.

"Will this help?" Tommy queried, picking the child up.  Olivia squealed with delight.  He also scanned the room for Kim but saw no sign of her.

"There you two are," Aisha greeted them cheerfully.  "You guys look like old buds."

"I got to go to McDonald's, Auntie Isha.  See my toy!" Olivia declared proudly.

"That's real nice, honey."

"Where's Kim?" Tommy wondered.

"Little girl's room," Aisha answered.  "You and Olivia are at the table with my folks, Adam, and Rocky.  You don't mind the company a little longer, do you?"

"Not at all."

Tommy exchanged greetings with Stephen then went in search of the table.  He spied Rocky waving and wandered over.

". . . you guys should have seen the hologram Billy sent," Tanya was saying as she stood behind Adam's chair.  "It was almost like he was there."

"I'm just glad Aisha was able to get an invitation to him," Adam remarked.

"How'd she manage that?" Rocky wondered.

"It wasn't easy.  There's been so many changes in the team since we left," Tanya continued.  "It's a shame he wasn't able to make it, though.  She was really hoping . . . whoops, gotta go, Sweetie; I'll catch you later when the dancing starts."  Slipping Adam a peck on the cheek, Tanya scurried off with a quick "hi, Tommy," in passing.

"So when are the two of you getting hitched?" Rocky asked Adam, elbowing him knowingly, to Adam's obvious discomfort."

"Hey, Rocky!  I see you're still all in one piece; I guess Aisha didn't kill you for running off," Tommy jibed as he arrived at the table and pulled out the chair for Olivia.

"And I see you're still hanging out with younger women," Rocky retorted.  "Cradle robber."

"At least I have a date."

Rocky looked wounded, Olivia looked puzzled, and Adam had to stifle a snicker at that.

"Where's Kim?" Adam queried.

"Powder Room."

"So, Squirt, was Tommy a boring date?" Rocky teased.

"DeSantos . . ." Tommy began warningly.

"Hey, I'm still trying to figure out what the girls see in you."

"We had lots of fun!" Olivia bubbled, then she gave another excited chirp.  "There's Mommy!"

"Go for it, Princess," Tommy said, noticing that the girl was practically bouncing out of her chair.  "She looks like she missed you."  Olivia took off like a shot.  The men watched as mother and daughter shared hugs; Kim swept the tot into her arms and listened with a tender, indulgent smile to the animated chatter.

"Olivia sure is something," Adam murmured.

Tommy tore his gaze away from the two women.  "She sure is," he agreed, his tone wistful.

"We had no idea Kim had a kid," Rocky remarked.  "When we met Olivia at the rehearsal dinner, I about passed out.  At first, I thought that she might have been . . . ."

"I know, but she isn't mine," Tommy interrupted.  He and Kim had never taken that step in their relationship.

"Do you know what happened?  Was it the guy in the letter?" Adam asked.

"I really don't know."

"Kim hasn't said anything yet?" Rocky questioned.

"No."

"I think Aisha knows," Adam began, but he fell silent as Kim returned Olivia to the table.

"How are you doing?" Tommy queried, having risen without thinking.  He rested a hand on Kim's shoulder.  She looked worn out, and he couldn't help but notice that her muscles were tight beneath his hand.  "Long afternoon?"

"A little.  I really appreciate all your help this afternoon, Tommy.  Sorry about the trouble with the ketchup; thank your mom for me."

"It was no big deal; I'm glad we were able to get it cleaned up.  Someone was quite upset about it."  Tommy favored Olivia with a smile.

"This is my favorite, bestest dress," she asserted.

"I know, Princess."  When Tommy turned his attention back to Kim, he noticed that she looked extremely ill at ease.

"You've had Olivia all day; if you'd like to have some time to yourself--you know, to enjoy the party . . . ."

"Kim, I haven't enjoyed myself so much in ages," Tommy assured here.  "Olivia will be fine at dinner--I'm more worried about Rocky being a nuisance than her.

"Hey!" Rocky objected.

Olivia giggled, and Kim even managed a small grin.

"You do whatever you need to, and don't worry about a thing."  As Kim transferred Olivia to Tommy's arms, he squeezed her hand gently and murmured under her breath.  "You know there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you."

"Even after all this time?" Kim whispered back, disbelieving.  From the way she blushed, Tommy had the impression she hadn't meant to say the words aloud.

"Yes."

"I don't know . . . thanks, Tommy," she muttered, flustered.  With that, she hurried away, leaving her friends looking after her in wonderment.

"Why does Mommy look so sad?" Olivia asked.

"I wish I knew, Princess."

* * *

Kim picked at her dinner, her stomach too tightly knotted up for her to eat.  She spent the entire meal either watching Tommy and her daughter or trying to avoid their eyes.  At the moment, Olivia was giving Rocky the devil about something, and Tommy was politely listening to one of Stephen's innumerable aunts.  Whatever the woman had said had caught Tommy off guard; however, when he tried to respond, she simply dismissed him with a wave and continued chattering away.  All Tommy could do was shrug and try not to look bored.  Idly, Kim wondered what the comment had been.  A moment later, she didn't have to wonder.  Here came Stephen's aunt, preceded by a miasma of floral cologne that could have been emitted from the riot of flowers on her dress.

"Honey, I just had to tell you what an adorable little girl you have," Aunt so-n-so gushed.

"Thank you."

"You are so lucky," she continued, "your husband is so good with her.  Wish mine had been like that."

Kim felt as if she had been kicked in the stomach.  She cast a panicked glance Tommy's way.  How could he have told her that . . . ? Then, she calmed herself.  Tommy hadn't been able to get a word in edgewise; he had probably been trying to tell her that he wasn't Olivia's father when she bowled him over with her prattle.

It was an honest mistake; Tommy really was great with Olivia, and as for the uncanny resemblance . . . .  Kim had noticed that the day Olivia was born.  When the nurse first put her daughter into her arms, she had marveled at the dark hair and thick lashes, and when her baby opened her eyes . . . . They were the same deep pools of brown that she had lost herself in when she first met Tommy.  _"Oh, Tommy,"_ she had sighed as those soul-windows drew her in, and in that moment, she knew she couldn't give her child up.  Later, she had tried to tell herself that the coincidental resemblance was nothing more than wishful thinking, but it had been the reason she had named her daughter after Tommy.

Yes, he could have been Olivia's father . . . _he should have been Olivia's father._  She had had such hopes and dreams.  After high school, there would have been college, and then she and Tommy would have gotten married.  Even after gymnastics entered the equation, she had always envisioned a future with Tommy.  If things had worked out, this might have been her wedding, and Olivia would have followed a year later.  Instead, all her dreams had come crashing to an end.

"Are you finished with this?"

"Huh?  Oh, yes.  Thank you," Kim murmured as the woman took her plate.  They were clearing the tables already?  Kim glanced at Tommy and Olivia again.  She had put it off as long as she could, but she didn't think Tommy's questions--the answers she owed him--would wait much longer.

*

Tommy watched as Kim and Olivia spun around the dance floor.  He smiled as he noticed the joy in Kim's face.  It was the first time all evening she looked like she was enjoying herself.  He felt badly that his presence was making Kim so nervous.  He wanted to let her go and not press her for answers, but for five years he had wondered what had gone wrong.  He needed to know; maybe that's why he had been unable to put things behind him.

A ballad came on.  Throughout the early sets, Kim had been monopolized by the wedding party, and he entertained Olivia with his less-than-graceful efforts.  Then, once the more up tempo songs started, Olivia occupied her mother completely.

"Rocky, do me a favor."

"Sure."

"Dance with Olivia so I can dance with Kim."

"No problemo," Rocky agreed readily.  As he abandoned the table to collect his new partner, he patted Tommy on the shoulder.  "Good luck."

"Thanks."

Kim's back was to him as he headed onto the dance floor, her attention completely focused on Rocky as he spun Olivia away.

"May I have this dance?" Tommy queried, tapping her on the shoulder.  Kim jumped.

"Oh.  Um, sure.  I guess," she stammered.

For a moment--when Tommy took her hand in his--he felt her tremble and glimpsed what he would have sworn was fear in her eyes, though she locked it down quickly, covering her anxiety with a false smile.  In those few seconds, Tommy could see his student Sarah again.  He recalled the first time he had tried to correct her arm position on a block--that had been before Maggie confided her story in him, and he had been careful thereafter in how he approached her.  Her eyes held that same wild, terrified look as Kimberly's . . . .

_No, please, not that . . . !_

Tommy danced with Kim as he would have if she had been a stranger and not the woman he had loved since the minute he laid eyes on her.  He kept his grip light and left plenty of distance between their bodies.  Giving her her space didn't seem to lessen her trembling.  His heart ached with the realization that whatever had happened to her was still causing her pain.  Seeing Kim's pale, frightened face, Tommy knew he couldn't ask his questions.  As much as he longed to know, he couldn't bring himself to hurt her any more.

"Kim, are you feeling all right?  You look a little pale; would you like to sit down for a bit?" Tommy asked, trying to find a way to help her out without embarrassing her.

"I think maybe I'd better," Kim murmured.  It pained Tommy to hear the faint note of relief and gratitude in her voice.

Tommy guided her through the swaying dancers to his table.  "Would you like some water?" he offered.

"Actually, if you'll excuse me, I think I needed to go . . . ."

Tommy nodded his understanding and watched as Kim headed for the restroom.  He stared after her for a moment longer, then, collecting his drink, set out in search of a couple of somebodies.  Finally finding where Tanya and Adam were melded together on the dance floor, he tapped Tanya on the shoulder.

"Sorry to interrupt, but Kim said she wasn't feeling well and took off for the restroom.  Would you mind checking on her for me?"

"Sure, Tommy."

After Tanya departed, Tommy turned to Adam.  "You said Aisha knows what happened to Kim?  Where is she?"

*

Tommy located Aisha talking with some relatives.

"Say, I haven't gotten to dance with the blushing bride yet; would you excuse us for a moment," Tommy said as he steered Aisha away.

"What's gotten into you?" she sputtered.

"What happened to Kim?" he demanded, suddenly serious.

Aisha sighed, lowering her eyes, unable to bear the intensity of his gaze.  

"Talk to me," he insisted.

"Kim will kill me if I tell you," she demurred.

"And I'll kill you if you don't,' he snapped.  Aisha's eyes went wide upon hearing his vehemence.  Tommy immediately regretted his sharp words.  "I'm sorry, Aisha. It's just that I need to know the truth.  Was it something I did?  Did it have to do with Olivia? I've already figured a few things out, but I have to know what it is that has Kim so terrified.  I still love her; Aisha--I never stopped.  Please?"

"She never stopped loving you either; why do you think she named her daughter after you?" Aisha murmured softly, wincing as Tommy released the hold he had on her arms.

"She did?" Tommy gulped, surprised beyond measure.

"Didn't you get it?  Tommi Olivia--where else would she have gotten that?"  Seeing the emotions naked in Tommy's face decided her.  "Why don't we head outside where we can hear ourselves talk."

*

"Like I said, Kim never fell out of love with you," Aisha began as she and Tommy took seats on the stone benches just outside the doors.  Absently, she twisted her wedding band around her finger.  "The letter was bogus; it was just at the time, she was so scared and confused--she didn't know what else to do.

"It happened right after her visit at Christmas that year.  She had just gotten back to Florida.  Coach canceled Saturday morning's practice, so a bunch of the girls decided to catch a movie.  I've been to visit Kim at the training center; it's not in a really good neighborhood.  The girls didn't want to walk by themselves, so they asked some of the guys from the men's team to go with them.

"After the movie, everyone else wanted to go out for something to eat, but Kim wasn't feeling up to it--jet lag.  The others didn't want her walking back alone, so Jim volunteered to go with her."  Here, Aisha paused and looked up into Tommy's expectant face.  "Oh God, Tommy, she'd have been better off alone . . . none of this would have happened if Jim hadn't been there to slow her down . . ."  Then, she mastered her runaway emotions.

"They were attacked by a bunch of punks.  They fought . . . you know what a scrappy fighter Kim is, and after being a Ranger . . . those punks had nothing on putties or tengas.  She kicked their butts but good!  She could have gotten away; she almost had.  She had broken away from the two who attacked her and had started running, but then she remembered Jim.  When she turned to look for him . . . .

"The scumbags had gotten him; Jim was unconscious, and one of them had a knife to his throat.  T-they told her if she didn't do what they wanted . . . ."  Tears stopped Aisha's words and she fell into Tommy's arms.

She didn't need to say it; Tommy knew.  They raped her--they forced her to let them do it to her.  Blackest anger flooded through Tommy's body; his fists clenched and unclenched, and he trembled with the urge to smash something.

"She had no choice," Aisha rasped.

"I know."  He held her tighter as fury gave was to grief--a sorrow deeper than anything he had ever known before.  He mourned for what that sacrifice had cost Kim.  It was a long while before either of them could speak again.  Finally, Aisha wiped her eyes and continued.

"For a while, Kim thought the attack was the end of it--well, except for the nightmares.  Then, in February, they had the team physicals.  That's when she found out she was pregnant.  Kim was beside herself.  She didn't know what to think or do.  All her teammates and coaches were telling her to get an abortion, not to give up her chance at a medal for a baby she didn't want and couldn't possibly take care of.  They told her the baby wasn't worth ruining her life over.  However, Kim wasn't so sure; this was a baby--a living being, a part of herself.  As a Ranger she had always fought to save lives, not take them.  Needing advice, she called her mother.

"I really don't know what all happened, but Mrs. Hart just went nuts.  She wouldn't even listen to Kim--she was convinced you had gotten Kim pregnant and left her high and dry," Aisha said wryly.

Tommy could understand that.  What mother wants to find out that her daughter had been raped?

"Mrs. Hart told Kim that she _had_ to have an abortion.  She told her that if she chose to keep the baby not to bother asking for any help because she wanted no part of it.  Then, she told Kim not to call her again until she came to her senses.  That was the last time Kim talked to her mother."

"Geez, Aisha, how could Mrs. Hart do that to Kim?  How could she turn her back on her daughter when she needed her most?"

"I couldn't believe it either," Aisha sighed.  "Kim and her mom were more like best friends than mother and daughter."

"Kim must have been devastated; the one person in the world she counted on being there for her abandons her . . . ."  A light seemed to come on in Tommy's mind. "I bet she felt that if her mom could turn on her so would the rest of us."

"That's why she didn't tell any of us, and why she broke up with you.  It would have killed her if we'd rejected her, too.  That, and I think she was really too embarrassed to say anything."

"Why?  It wasn't her fault, and she was doing what she thought was the right thing; I would have stood by her--we all would have."

"I know, but Kim couldn't believe that any longer," Aisha said sadly.

"If Kim wasn't talking, how'd you find all this out?" Tommy asked suddenly.

"By accident.  Dad was flying into Miami for business, and I conned him into letting me tag along so I could drive up to see Kim.  I just showed up on her doorstep; she was about 7 months at the time.  Oh, Tommy, you should have seen her!  Little, tiny Kimberly with this huge, round belly--it was so cute!  Even then, Kim didn't want to tell me, but I out stubborned her."

"How'd she wind up living and working at the training center?  I'd have thought Coach Schmidt would have asked her to leave," Tommy pursued.

"I think Coach had a soft spot for Kim.  She was all set to leave--bags packed and everything.  He knew she had no place to go, so he offered her room and board if she'd help out in the gym.  That eventually evolved into a position as coaching assistant; it was considered part time--she couldn't be a full coach until she got her USGF certification."

"If it's anything like the martial arts certification, that costs a pretty penny," Tommy mused.

"Definitely--money Kim didn't have to spare.  Once Olivia was born, she had the doctor and hospital to pay since she had no insurance, and she refused to go on Welfare.  I guess her mom really ragged on her about_ that.  _It took her nearly two years, but she finally got them paid off.

"After that, she started saving to come home.  More than anything, she wanted to get Olivia out of the gym and away from the area.  She hoped to save up enough money for them to move to Angel Grove, and she wanted to be settled here before Olivia started kindergarten.  However, last November, Olivia got sick--reoccurring ear infections.  The doctor said she needed tubes.  Since Kim didn't have insurance, the doctor wanted half his fee up front before he operated.  Kim wiped out her savings and reluctantly borrowed some from me, but she paid the doctor, and everything was set.

"There were . . . complications.  After the operation, Olivia developed some sort of infection--she nearly died.  She was in the hospital for a couple of weeks.  To the doctor's surprise and Kim's relief, she made a full recovery."

"But the bills piled up again," Tommy concluded, and Aisha nodded.

"She called to tell me that she couldn't be in the wedding; she just couldn't afford it.  Kim was so depressed . . . she had so hoped to come out here and find a place . . . . You know what my wedding present from Stephen was?  Kim's dress and her and Olivia's plane tickets.  I just had to get her out here somehow!"

"I wish she wouldn't have shut me out," Tommy murmured.  "I don't know what I would have done, but I wouldn't have let her face all this by herself."

"She needs help, Tommy, but I don't think she knows how to ask for it anymore.  Olivia starts school next year, and Kim is just so afraid that if she can't support Olivia, someone will take her away from her, and she's all Kim has left . . . ."

Tommy wanted to do something--desperately.  What could he do?  If he could, he'd pay off Kim's bills, but he didn't have the resources.  His earnings from racing had all gone into buying and refurbishing the dojo.  The school was only in its second year.  He had barely broke even last year, but he was making a respectable profit now.  If he had access to the trust fund his aunt had set up for him . . . but he couldn't touch it for another three years.  Besides, from the sounds of it, he doubted Kimberly would accept the money. There had to be a way to help; he just had to find it, and fast.

"Here's where you've gotten to," Aisha's mother called out as she popped her head out of the doorway.

"What's up?" Aisha asked.

"Tanya has been looking all over for you."

"I'll go see what she wants."

Tommy and Aisha collected themselves and headed inside.  They found Tanya at the table with Rocky and Adam; Kim was there, too, with Olivia drifting off to sleep in her lap.

"I'm going to take Kim and Olivia back to my place; it's past somebody's bedtime," Tanya explained.  Then, more softly, she added, "Kim's had about all she can take."

"Good idea," Aisha whispered back.

"Here, let me get Olivia for you," Tommy offered.  Kim was too worn out to object.  As they followed Tanya out of the hall and to her car, Tommy finally came up with an idea.

"Olivia was telling me that you guys are flying out tomorrow night," he ventured.

"At six," Kim responded without enthusiasm.

"If you'd like, I can take you to the airport."

"Thanks, but Tanya and Adam already said they would."

"Oh.  Well, could I come, too, and see you off?"

"I guess so."

"Actually, I was kind of hoping to spend a little more time with you and Olivia before you leave--that is, if you feel up to it," he pressed on.  "What about a trip to the park?  I sort of promised Olivia I'd take her today, but we didn't get to because of the ketchup fiasco.  I'd sure hate to break a promise."

"Can we, Mommy?" Olivia piped up, rousing herself at Tommy's words.

Tommy felt a twinge of guilt for using Olivia against Kim like this, but he had to find some way to see her tomorrow.

"Well . . . ." Kim sighed.  Tommy knew she wouldn't be able to resist those imploring, puppy-dog eyes.  "I suppose a trip to the park would be okay.  For a little while.  What time did you have in mind?"

"I can pick you guys up around eleven."

"Okay."

"I'll see you two tomorrow, then."

" G'night, Tommy," Olivia said with a yawn.

"Good night, Princess.  Good night, Kim."

Tommy stood back and watched as Tanya's car pulled out of the parking lot and disappeared from sight.  Then, he realized he should get going, too.  After all, he only had thirteen hours to come up with a plan to help Kim.

* * *

"Look out below!"

"Tommy, what . . . oh, no!  Don't!"

With shrieks of laughter, Kim and Olivia dove out of the way as Tommy came plowing down the slide.  They weren't fast enough, and he flattened them both.

"Get off!" Olivia sputtered.

"I thought you were supposed to catch me."

"You're too big!"

"You didn't say that when I was pushing you on the swings."

"I wanna swing again.  Race ya!"  With that, Olivia sprang to her feet, and with an excited squeal, ran towards the swing set.

"Hey, no fair having a head start!" Tommy protested as he gave chase, leaving Kim to pick herself up out of the sand.  She merely shook her head and smiled as she watched the two.  Things didn't seem as bleak as they had been yesterday.  She had really overreacted; she just hadn't been prepared to see Tommy again.  Tanya had set her down this morning and talked to her.  Kim had wanted to die when Tanya told her that Aisha had told Tommy everything, but then Tanya pointed out that even though Tommy knew the truth, he had still invited Kim and Olivia to the park--that in spite of everything, Tommy was still her friend.  Kim knew that Tanya was right; she just hadn't wanted to believe . . . she hadn't wanted to take the risk.  If anyone deserved to be angry with her, it was Tommy.  That he could still accept her . . . .

Kim wiped her eyes.  Knowing that Tommy had been told--and that he didn't despise her--took a great weight off her shoulders.  She was still a little nervous being around him.  She was afraid to let herself open up to him completely, and she knew they would have to talk eventually.  Even so, it seemed like Tommy wanted to be friends.  She hoped so.  Watching the two people she loved most in all the world play together made her long for old dreams, but she knew things could never be the way they had been between them.  However, just to have Tommy's friendship again would be more than she had let herself hope for in a long time.

"Stop it! Stop it!"

Kim glanced up as Tommy shouted.  The pair had abandoned the swings; Olivia was sitting on Tommy's stomach, tickling him.  While Kim knew he was slightly ticklish, she also knew he was putting on a heck of a performance to Olivia's delight.  Kim made her way over to where the wrestling match was taking place.

"Uncle!  Time out!" Tommy called out with a laugh.  "I give up; I surrender!"  However, Olivia was having none of it, pressing her advantage mercilessly.

"Ease up, honey; I think Tommy needs to catch his breath," Kim chided gently.

"Thank you," Tommy panted as he was finally able to sit up.

"Can we go on the merry-go-round again?" Olivia asked.  Then, her face fell.

"What's wrong?" Kim wondered.

"Other kids are playing on it," she pouted.

"So?  They'll let you play, too," Tommy said.

"I don't know . . . ." Olivia murmured, feeling suddenly shy.  "I don't know them an' they're bigger than me . . . ."

"How are you going to make new friends if you don't go up and say hi?" Tommy asked.  "Come on, let's see if they'll let you play."

"Maybe we shouldn't," Kim began, a sheltering caution rising to the fore, and silently she berated herself.  When she had been a kid, making new friends never bothered her.  She had always felt sorry for those who didn't feel like they could join in, and she had always gone out of her way to welcome them.  She had been so open, so trusting . . . it hurt to be reminded that that part of her had been crippled.  She didn't want her daughter to be like that--mistrustful, hesitant, scared of new people and experiences--but yet she didn't want her daughter to be hurt by trusting too much.

"Don't worry; it'll be fine.  I know a couple of the girls.  Candace is in my beginner's class, and Sylvie's brother just got his yellow belt.  Sylvie's about Olivia's age.  Tell you what, why don't I go introduce you," Tommy said.

Nervously, Olivia slipped her hand into Tommy's and allowed him to lead her to the merry-go-round.  Kim took a seat on a nearby bench and felt a grin quirking at the corners of her mouth as she watched the little girls.  She shook her head in amazement as she observed some of the star struck gazes the girls were giving Tommy; his charm was not lost on them.  It wouldn't surprise Kim if some of the teenagers took an interest in the little girls' play just so that they could be around when Tommy came to collect Olivia.  For her daughter's part, after an initial moment of hesitancy, she allowed herself to be pulled into the group, and before Tommy made it half way back to the bench, she was joining right in the fun.  That was good to see.  She had been so afraid that Olivia had been too isolated to relate to other kids.

"Man, I feel like I've spent the day sparring with students," Tommy gasped as he flopped down next to Kim.  She noticed that he left quite a bit of space between them.  In her mind, that stretch of green seat became a gulf of five years.

"This has been so wonderful of you.  She's going to remember this weekend forever," Kim replied.  She flashed him a smile, then shyly looked away.  Tommy sat forward, staring intently at his clasped hands.  For several minutes, neither of them spoke.  Then, Tommy cleared his throat.

"Kim, I . . . I know what happened," he began awkwardly.

"I know.  Tanya told me Aisha talked to you."

"Don't be mad at her."

"I'm not. Actually, I'm kind of glad she did.  I'm sorry about the way I acted yesterday; I just wasn't ready . . . ."

"It's all right.  I think I can understand how you must have felt.  It's not an easy thing to talk about."

_That_ was an understatement.  "I guess you still have some questions, though," she said, her mouth suddenly dry.

"A few," Tommy admitted, "but there's something I wanted to say first."

"What's that?"  Kim went rigid as if to ward off a blow.

"I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you."

Of all the things Kim had ever imagined Tommy saying to her, that had not been one of them.

"You're proud of me?" she gulped.

He fixed her with a look, his eyes so serious, and she could see something beaming in his face as he looked at her.

"Yes.  To save a teammate's life, you sacrificed your body.  To be true to yourself and preserve another life, you sacrificed everything you held dear--your family, friends, hopes and dreams.  That couldn't have been easy; not many people could have done that.  You've endured more tragedy than anyone should ever have to, and you've survived.  No, you've done more than survived; you've triumphed."

Kim wouldn't exactly call her life that!

"I know you don't believe me, but you have triumphed.  Just look at your daughter.  Money and possessions aren't the measure of success, she is.  She's a wonderful child, and you're responsible for that--you alone."

Kimberly felt her eyes misting up.  She didn't know what to say, but Tommy's words were the most beautiful she had heard in a long, long time.

"Thank you," she stammered at last.

"I only wish I would have had the chance to say this to you sooner.  I know you were scared and all, Kim; I only wish you'd have been able to tell me at the time.  I'd have given anything to have been able to help you," Tommy murmured anguishedly.

It was hard to hold the tears back as she heard his pain--which she had expected, but not like this.  He was supposed to be hurt because she had broken his heart, not because he hadn't been allowed to help her.

"There were times when I wanted to tell you," Kim confessed awkwardly.  "You don't know how often I wished I could've taken that letter back or called you and told you what happened.  I can remember dreaming you'd find a way to make it all better."  She gave a rueful chuckle.  "There was one . . . when I told you I was pregnant and how it happened, you said it didn't matter, and you told everyone that I was pregnant with _your_ baby.  We got married, you gave up your powers, found a job, and we all lived happily ever after."

"I would have, you know," Tommy said quietly.  "I loved you more than anything; I would have taken care of you and the baby."

"I know you would have, too.  And that scared me as much as the thought of losing you."

"I don't understand."

"As much as I desperately wanted your help, I knew that if I turned to you, it would have destroyed all your hopes and dreams as well.  I just couldn't ask you to take responsibility for something that wasn't your fault.  The rape had destroyed my life; I couldn't let it destroy yours, too.  It wouldn't have been right . . . although, I didn't come to that realization until after Olivia was born.  Until then, it was just the fear of you rejecting me that made me stay silent."

"I'm sorry," Tommy sighed, unable to say anything else.

"I know.  Me, too."

The heavy moment was suddenly broken as the two heard an excited squeal, and they looked up to see Olivia playing tag with the other girls.

"In your letter," Tommy began after a lengthy pause, "you said we'd always be friends.  If that offer still stands, I accept."

Kim glanced over to see that Tommy had reached out a hand into the emptiness between them--reached into the gulf  that was five years deep.  As her eyes briefly met his, she saw his hopeful expression.  Timidly, she reached out and grasped his hand, bridging the gap as well.  She couldn't believe how much she was shaking as his fingers closed around hers to give a gentle squeeze.  She surprised herself by returning the pressure with much more intensity.  She was frightened and excited all at once, and in a way, she felt much like she did when she asked Tommy to the youth center that first time.  Once again, she had taken a risk and let him in.

It was several minutes before Kim realized that she was sitting there just holding Tommy's hand--no, clinging to it was more like it.  Self-consciously, she released it.  Although he tried to hide it, Tommy was trying to shake some feeling back into his hand.

"Sorry," she murmured.

"It's okay; any time you need it, my hand is there for you to crush," he teased gently, and Kim had to smile.  

She tried to sit back and just enjoy Tommy's company while she watched Olivia play, but she felt a pressure behind her eyes that she hadn't noticed while they had been talking.  She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Headache?" Tommy queried solicitously.

"A little one."

"Could it be a hunger headache?  It's well past noon."

Now that he mentioned it, she was feeling rather empty.  Normally, she ate whenever Olivia complained about being hungry, but at the moment, her daughter was too busy having a good time to notice.  "We probably should get back to Tanya's . . . ."

"I was kind of hoping that you guys might do lunch with me," Tommy said, trying not to sound disappointed, but Kim caught it anyway.

"I wanted Olivia to eat at 'home' today; I can't take her out much, and she's been out for meals Friday and yesterday . . . ."

"If you wouldn't mind, we could have lunch at my place," he offered.  "The cupboards are pretty bare, but I do make a mean pb and j sandwich."

"Peanut butter and jelly?  You?"

Tommy shrugged.  "According to Rocky, peanut butter is the staple of the bachelor's diet."

Kim simply snorted.

"Hey, everything I know about bachelor living I learned from Rocky."

"I can only imagine the horror . . . ." she groaned playfully.

"He must be doing something right; he's made it on his own a lot longer than I have.  What do you say?  My place is right by my school, and I've been wanting you to see the dojo."

Tanya had told her that Tommy had finally set up his own martial arts school; it was one of the things she knew he had always dreamed of doing.  She could see it in his eyes even now: the dojo was his pride and joy.

"I'd love to see it, and peanut butter and jelly isn't such a bad lunch.  The only thing is will it be enough to pry Olivia away from the party?"

"Let's find out."

*

"Well, here it is," Tommy announced, unable to keep the pride out of his voice as they stood before the brownstone in the north side neighborhood.  Emblazoned on the window were the words _White Falcon Martial Arts._

"You didn't go for red or green?" Kim asked, referencing his other power allegiances.

"I was always closest to the falcon," he answered.  "It was more a part of me than the others, you know?"  

"I know."

He knew that she did.  It was also a part of his heritage, but he hadn't shared that with her yet.  His spirit animal was also his totem.  With a flourish, Tommy unlocked the door and ushered his guests in.

"Look, Mommy, just like the gym!" Olivia declared as she raced past the two adults to enter first.  "Mats and everything."

"This place was pretty run down when I bought it," Tommy explained as he showed Kim around.  "Apparently, the studio had been through several owners, and the last hadn't really cared.  From what the neighbors told me, he just let things go to pot, which drove away the students--sort of a vicious circle.  It took quite a bit to get this place up and running."

"And get the students back," Kim remarked insightfully.

"It's been tough.  That first year, I wasn't sure I could make this fly.  Keeping the doors open took everything I had; as much as I wanted to be on my own and all, I wound up living with my folks.  It was so hard to accept their help at first.  I mean, I'd been on my own pretty much while I was racing for Uncle John, but it was the only way I could make a go of it."  He hadn't planned on mentioning his hardships to Kim; they were inconsequential when compared to hers, but he hoped she'd pick up on his underlying message.  "It turned out to be the best thing I could have done; I couldn't have made this place work without their help."

"You've done a marvelous job, Tommy.  I'm so happy for you; I know how much you enjoyed teaching, and now to have a place of your own . . .  I was pretty surprised when Tanya told me and Aisha that you'd been a race car driver.  I knew you liked to tinker occasionally, but I always thought martial arts was your real love."

"It is.  At graduation, I think I was just needing a change, and I have to admit, driving the Turbo Zords was pretty awesome, then came Uncle John's offer to drive for him.  However, after a while I realized that I missed my workouts and the kids.  I stayed with the team until I saved up enough to buy my own place, and the rest is history," he concluded.  "Now I'm a business owner, a sensei, and a landlord."

"Landlord?"

"Uh huh.  There are three apartments in this building: one downstairs and two upstairs.  The bottom and top apartments are rented out, and I live in the one right above the dojo.  Come on, and we'll get those sandwiches I promised you."

Tommy led the two upstairs, and as he fitted his key into the lock, he began to question whether this was such a good idea.  Kim looked a little apprehensive, and he knew thoughts of her own living quarters had to be going through her mind.  His place wasn't fancy or anything like that, but it wasn't a room in a ladies' dormitory.  However, she needed to see it, to know that he had the space if his idea was to work.

"Welcome to my humble abode," he said subduedly as he ushered the two in with a wave.  The living room occupied the entire front half of the apartment which occupied the whole of the second floor.  It was divided into an office area and living area.  He didn't have much in the way of furniture or decorations--some pictures, a few of his trophies and awards, and a few knick-knacks that were an eclectic mixture of Oriental and Native American.  Though spartan, the place still had a homey feel to it

"Wow," Olivia murmured.  "You live all by yourself?  You don't have to live with your mommy and daddy?"

"Nope, there's just me," Tommy answered.  "My brother David lived with me for a while, but then he went off to grad school . . . ."

"Brother?" Kim queried, stunned.

"You mean Tanya didn't tell you about my older brother?"

"Older . . . ?  I thought you were adopted."

"It's a really long story involving broken arrow heads, falcons, and a quest for a certain crystal, but I discovered that my natural parents had had another child.  David's really cool; he lives on the reservation just outside of Angel Grove.  He's into martial arts, too; sometimes he helps out here.  He likes to paint, too."

"What a pretty picture!" Olivia gushed as if on cue.  She stood gawking at the painting hanging on the wall opposite the door.  It was a soaring falcon with mountains and the sunset in the background.

"David did that," Tommy said.

"It's beautiful," Kim murmured.

Tommy smiled.  He had always rather liked the way the falcon blended into the pinks of the sunset.

"Why don't you guys have a seat, and I'll get lunch.  You can turn on the TV, but I doubt there's much on but baseball--I think I get the Disney Channel, but I'm not sure.  You can see what I have in the way of movies, but they're mostly martial arts flicks."

"We don't watch much TV," Kim confessed softly, and Tommy wasn't sure how to respond.

"Do you have any toys?" Olivia piped up, saving him from an awkward moment.

"Probably not," Kim began.

"Actually, I believe I have a certain box of Leggos from Nanna Jan's house.  Check the cabinet in the bottom of the bookcase," Tommy recommended.

"Nanna Jan?" Kim asked wonderingly.

Tommy shrugged self-consciously.  "It was Mom's idea.  Olivia had to call her something, and Mom wasn't too keen about Mrs. Oliver.  It sounded too formal, I guess."

"Oh."

Just then, Olivia let out an excited chirp as she discovered the box of building blocks.

"Tommy, will you help me make a castle just like yesterday?" she queried.

"Can't right now, Princess; I have to make lunch."

"Will you help me, Mommy?"

"I'll try, but I suspect Tommy's much better at this than I am . . . ."

Seeing that his guests were occupied,  Tommy headed for the kitchen.  He paused in the hallway and snuck a peek back at mother and daughter.  Kim seemed a little more at ease.  He winced as Olivia upended the Leggos; he'd have to be careful when they picked them up, otherwise he'd be stepping on the little bits for weeks!

As he puttered around his kitchen, Tommy wondered just how to present his idea to Kim.  He knew she was likely to refuse; how could he make her see that it was an ideal solution to her problem?

"Tommy?  Where's the bathroom?" Kim queried, popping her head in the doorway.

"End of the hall and on the right," he answered.  He hoped she'd feel comfortable enough to take a look at the rest of the apartment--especially the vacant room right across from the bathroom.  Perhaps if Kim wasn't willing to indulge her curiosity, Olivia would.  In that, Tommy wasn't disappointed.

"It's soup!" Tommy called as he set the sandwiches and milk on the table.  

Olivia came bounding into the kitchen with a questions just bursting to get out.  "How come you have nothing in that one room and a bunch of stuff in the other?"

"The bunch of stuff is my room, and the other one was David's.  I just haven't had anything to put in it."  That wasn't quite true; he'd moved the weight bench out only this morning.

"It's lots bigger than our room at the gym," the tot continued on heedlessly.  Tommy caught Kim's embarrassed flinch and pretended not to notice.

"These are sandwiches," Olivia pouted.  "I thought you said it was soup."

*

After lunch and a mishap with the milk was cleaned up, Tommy convinced Olivia to go play in the living room.  He wanted to talk to Kim alone.

"It's a good thing I didn't suggest eating in the living room," he murmured as he rinsed the dish rag out.

"Sorry, but those things happen when you've got an excited child at the table."

"Don't worry about it; it's not like she dumped the glass over on purpose, and the tile will dry."  Tommy rejoined Kim at the table.  For a while, neither spoke.  Finally, Tommy screwed up his courage.  "Kim, Aisha told me about your mom, too.  What happened there?  I just can't believe she'd do that to you."

Tommy could see that he'd touched on a very painful subject and almost regretted bringing it up.

"I don't understand it either," Kim responded at last with a heavy sigh.  "I expected her to be upset, but not like that.  Some of the things she said, the _names_ she called me--I'd never known her to be so unreasonable or say such hurtful and hateful things, and she and Dad got pretty nasty sometimes during their divorce!"  She paused a moment to wipe at her eyes.  Tommy got up and brought the roll of paper towels over to the table.  "You know, she was convinced you got me pregnant."

"That's what Aisha said."

"Then she went on and on about money," Kim continued.  "All the money she had put into my training.  All the sacrifices _she_ had made for me to chase this dream.  It was like it didn't matter that my pregnancy was messing up my dreams; she was more upset that it was messing up hers or something.  She was just so cold and selfish.  She made it sound like this was all my fault, that I'd gotten pregnant to spite her.

"She told me I _had_ to get an abortion.  I couldn't believe it.  Mom had never advocated abortion as the answer; she always told me that the baby shouldn't be punished for the parent's mistakes.  When I called her, I had already decided I would carry the baby to term; I wasn't sure about whether I'd keep it or put it up for adoption, but I knew that I was going to have the child.  I was just looking for some support and reassurance.  She wouldn't listen to a thing I was saying.  She didn't care how I felt--only how this impacted her.

"I knew the ultimatum was coming; I could see it a mile off.  I just couldn't believe it.  I wasn't going to ask her to raise my baby; I just wanted her to be there for me."  Kim completely broke down at this point, and Tommy reached across the table to hold her hand and waited for the tears to pass.

"She made me chose between her and my baby, Tommy," Kim said at last.  "There wasn't any other choice--just like that night . . . .  My baby needed me more than I needed my mother."

"What about your father?  Or Kenny?  Wouldn't they have helped?" Tommy wondered.

"Maybe.  I don't know.  I couldn't bring myself to call them.  I mean, my own mother refused to help me . . . .  I guess I could have tried Kenny, but then that would have put him in the middle between me and Mom.  As for Dad . . . ." Kim just shook her head.  "It would have caused trouble between him and Cindy."

"Cindy?"

"The woman he was engaged to--he's probably married her by now.  Cindy never liked the fact that Dad had to pay support for me.  She made no secret of the fact that she resented me; heck, I don't know how many times I'd heard her say that she couldn't wait for me to get out of high school so Dad wouldn't have to keep paying for his mistakes.  For some reason she thought that the reason they hadn't gotten married was because of Dad's support payments."

"Forgive me for saying so, but I hope your dad wised up and dumped her," Tommy muttered.  Kim smiled wanly, sharing the sentiment.  "I can't imagine having to go through what you did without help from anyone.  I mean, my folks didn't do all that much when I was having troubles, but still . . . !"

"I did have some help from Coach."

"Thank God for that.  Do you know why he took you in like that?"

"He's never said; however, I was determined not to be a charity case for long."

"Aisha told me you've worked your way up to coaching assistant.  You've done an amazing job, Kim."  He was happy to see her pleased blush.  "However, you're still having a few problems--the medical bills."  

Kim's face clouded over momentarily.  Then, the gloom was replaced by a look of fierce determination.  "The only thing that matters is that Olivia pulled through.  I'd rather be in debt for the rest of my life than to have lost her."

"I agree totally with you.  The other thing Aisha told me is that you've been wanting to come back to Angel Grove."

"I do.  A gym is no place to raise a child--even though most of the girls there are just children themselves.  I want Olivia to know there's more to life out there, but I don't trust the neighborhood.  There's too much violence in the schools--that's all I see in the local papers, even in the elementary schools!  I can't even take her to the park for fear of invading some gang's turf."

While Kim didn't specifically say it, Tommy knew other bad memories played a part in her decision, too.

"And you've used up everything you'd saved for the move to cover the bills," he pressed on, getting to what he wanted to say.  "Kim, I think I can help you out, if you'll let me."

"I appreciate the offer, Tommy, but I can't take your money . . . ."

"That wasn't what I was suggesting."  Kim's puckered brow and frown made him smile.  "What if you could come back to Angel Grove without worrying about room and board?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'd like you and Olivia to come live here."

"With you? Tommy, we couldn't!"

"Why not?  I have plenty of space.  It's a nice neighborhood.  I already know that having a roommate isn't going to affect my bills all that much.  You guys could have the spare bedroom; you could come and go as you please--find a job, concentrate on paying off your bills, I could help out with watching Olivia . . . it could work."

"I don't know, Tommy . . . ." Kim objected but less strenuously than before.

"It's a way for you to do what you've wanted for so long: to come home.  I realize that the thought may be a little overwhelming.  You don't have to give me an answer now; just promise me you'll give it some consideration.  Okay?"

"I . . . ." Kim stammered; however, she was spared from having to say anything by Olivia's appearance.

"Come look at what I built, Mommy!"

* * *

_"United Flight 879 to Miami now boarding at gate C4."_

"You guys take it easy," Adam said as he gave Kim a hug.

"Just remember to let me know when the wedding is," Kim shot back, and Adam blushed.  She turned then to Tanya.  "Thanks for everything."

"Any time, Kim.  Remember, call whenever you need a friend," Tanya advised.

"I will."

Kim then turned to Tommy who was receiving a fierce, tearful hug from Olivia.

"I'm gonna miss you, Tommy."

"Same here, Princess."

"You won't forget me?"

"Of course not.  Who could forget you?  I'm not the best correspondent, but I'll make sure I drop you and your mommy a line.  You better get going, Squirt."  He set the tot down and turned to face Kim.

Her mind was still in a whirl over the bombshell he had dropped on her earlier.  She still didn't know what to make of it.  She knew he wanted to help, but to have them live with him . . .!

"Hey, you okay?" Tommy asked softly.

"Yeah, I just have a lot to think about, you know?" she murmured.

"I know."  Tommy took her hands in his.  "This offer has no expiration date; you can take me up on it any time and can stay as long as you'd like.  Just remember, I meant what I said about the terms.  If you do come, I won't take any money towards household expenses.  You take care of Olivia first and then your bills.  Once those are taken care of . . . well, we'll see."

"I won't lie to you, Tommy; it's a tempting offer.  I just don't know if I can accept it."

"Just think it over.  That's all I ask."

"All right."  Kim tried to pull away, but Tommy held her hands fast.  He had a faraway look in his eyes. "Tommy?"

"I'm sorry.  For a moment . . . ."

"What?" she wondered as she noticed his blush.

"It's just that the last time I said good-bye to you in this airport, it almost turned out to be forever.  I don't want that to happen again."

"Neither do I."  Giving him a tearful smile, she squeezed his hands.

"Then let's not say good-bye," he said huskily.

With a lump in her throat, Kim caught Olivia's hand and headed for the ramp.


	2. Part II: August - A New Beginning

Part 2 - August: a time of new beginnings

"There, I think that's the last of it," Tommy said as he placed another box in the back of his pickup.  Actually, there was surprisingly little in the way of boxes.  Kim and Olivia didn't seem to own much more than their clothes.  Tommy felt a lump in his throat.

As he secured the box and closed the tailgate, Tommy wondered what had prompted Kim's impassioned phone call less than a week ago.  It had been one o'clock; he'd been sound asleep when the phone rang.  Although barely coherent, the sound of Kim's voice had snapped him to instant wakefulness:  _"Tommy, if the offer still stands, I want to come home!"_  It had sounded as if she had been crying, but Kim hadn't elaborated, and he hadn't wanted to press her.  After spending the morning making arrangements with his assistants Leslie and Kurt to cover classes for him, he was on the road to Florida by lunch time.

"It is really good of you to do this for Kimberly," Coach Schmidt said.  "Olivia needs to know there is more to this world than the walls of the gymnasium.  At times, it seemed that Kim's home here was more of a refuge--a place where she could hide from all that had happened to her, and yet I would have thought that living here would have been a constant reminder . . . ."

While Tommy couldn't begin to imagine the full extent of Kim's trauma, he knew enough to realize that there'd be no way she'd ever be able to forget.  Every time she saw Olivia's face she'd be reminded.

"However,  I know she has been wanting to go home for some time now," Coach continued.

"I've been wondering why you let Kim stay," Tommy said as he leaned back against the side of the truck bed, waiting for Kim and Olivia to finish saying their good-byes.  "You didn't have to do that."

"When I was a young man, I knew a girl who experienced a similar trouble as Kimberly," Gunthar explained, his expression distant.  "She had nowhere else to go, no one else to turn to.  She would not have made it but for the kindness of  an elderly neighbor.  It is something I have never forgotten.  In her memory, I extended the same kindness to Kimberly, and while she accepted my hospitality, she also made herself quite useful to the center.  She can relate to the gymnasts in ways none of the other coaches can.  I wish I could have done more, but without her license . . . ."

Just then, Kimberly and Olivia headed down the steps towards them.

"I guess that's it," Kim said quietly.  

To Tommy, she looked pale and scared, and Olivia seemed to be on the verge of tears.

"What's the matter, Princess?" Tommy wondered, scooping the tot into his arms.

"I don't want to move," she whimpered.  "I don't want to live in a strange place.  I want to stay at home."

They were feelings Tommy understood all too well, having moved around more than his fair share as a kid.

"I know, Sweetheart, but you're not going to some place strange.  You'll be living in my home; you don't have to be afraid there.  You'll see.  Pretty soon, it'll feel like your home, too," he assured her.  As he gave Olivia a hug, Tommy looked to Kim and Coach Schmidt.  No one else had come out to see them off.  The gymnasts all had practice to attend to.

"Coach, I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done for us," Kim murmured, trying not to get weepy.  Tommy could tell she was failing in her efforts and Coach looked a little misty himself.

"I did but little.  You more than earned all that you had here," Gunthar informed her.  "I wish you and your daughter well."  Then, he handed her a folder of papers.  "I have written letters of recommendation, and do not hesitate to call if you need anything else.  You are a wonderful coach; the sport needs more like you.  I hope you shall continue working with the girls."

"I'll do my best," Kim replied.

"Promise me that at the first opportunity you will get your license."

"I'll have to if I want to coach."

In the heavy silence that followed, Tommy said, "We'd better hit the road.  We've got a long drive ahead of us."

Gunthar offered Kim a handshake, then headed back to the gym.  The trio watched him go; he waved once then disappeared inside.  Kim stared after him for a long while.  Tommy placed a hand on her shoulder, which seemed to snap her out of her reverie.  She took her daughter from his arms and hugged her tightly.  Then, she set Olivia into the truck.

"I'm still scared, Mommy," Olivia sniffled.

"I know, Honey; me too," Kim murmured.

"Why?" Tommy asked as he helped fasten Olivia in.  "I thought going home to Angel Grove is something you always wanted."

"It is.  It's just that . . . well . . . they say you can't go back."

"You're not going back; you're moving ahead at last."  Tommy flashed her a confident smile which she tried to return.

Tommy noticed that as he pulled out of the training center's parking lot onto Main Street neither mother nor daughter looked back.

* * *

Tommy padded into the kitchen, barely awake.  He didn't even consider himself a real human being in the morning until he had his first cup of coffee.  Fortunately, he could operate the coffee maker in his sleep.  At the moment, even the shower was beyond his capabilities.

_What time is it anyway?  _he wondered as he blearily peered at the clock.  _Five?  What the hell am I doing up?_   Some tiny portion of his sleep-fogged brain realized that he was still on their travel schedule.  He had never been so happy to pull into the parking lot; it had been a long three days (not including the time it took to drive to Florida!).  _Man, if I never have to get in that truck again, it'll be too soon!_

With a yawn, Tommy wished the coffee maker would hurry up.

*

Kim yawned as she ambled out of her room.  Her first morning at Tommy's . . . for a moment, she hadn't known where she was when she'd woken up.  She glanced back into the room and smiled warmly; Olivia was sound asleep in the trundle bed.  She was glad her daughter was still asleep.  The last few days had been pretty momentous, and they had arrived in Angel Grove pretty late last night.  Kim had half expected to find Olivia in bed with her.

As she shuffled down the hallway, Kim wondered how Tommy had gotten a hold of the furniture so quickly.  She had only called a week ago, and he said he'd left that same day.  She noted in passing that Tommy's door was closed.  No doubt he was still asleep.  The warmth stayed in her expression, and for a change, the anxiety which fluttered in her stomach had less to do with fear than excitement.  It was hard to believe she was here--home in Angel Grove _and_ with Tommy.  Well, not quite the way that either of them had ever imagined, but . . . .

_Poor Tommy,_ she mused, making her way to the kitchen.  He had driven nearly the entire way, and after their late arrival, he had unloaded the truck and helped her start unpacking.  Then, Olivia had been a handful and refused to go down to sleep _. . . he must be exhausted._

Kim was normally an early riser, but it was rare that she woke before her five-year-old "alarm."  Since she had the apartment to herself, she figured the least she could do was get breakfast started.  Of course, it had been forever since she had actually cooked--she and Olivia always ate at the cafeteria in the dorm.  _Well, it can't be any worse than Tommy's_ . . . unless he had taken cooking lessons in the last five years.

However, when Kim hit the kitchen doorway, she stopped dead.  A hand flew to her mouth.  There was Tommy sleepily leaning against the counter.  Kim had never seen him quite like this before: dressed in nothing but a pair of well worn boxers, unshaven, hair in a knotted mess and sticking up every which-a-way, eyes barely opened . . . .  It was an . . . educational sight.  Kim fought hard to stifle a giggle.

"Huh?" Tommy muttered, having heard Kim's gasp.  He spied Kim in the doorway doing her best not to laugh.  Self-consciously, he ran his hand through his hair in a vain effort to tame it.

Kim wasn't exactly at her best either: wildly tangled morning-hair, make-up less, rumpled oversized tee . . . still, she looked better than he did--especially the way her eyes shone with her mirth.

"Good morning," she murmured, biting back a giggle.

"It will be soon," he harumphed as he meaningfully eyed the coffee maker.

"So--um--this is the real you, huh."

"You were bound to discover the Mr. Hyde under my Dr. Jekyll sooner or later."

"Definitely not a morning person."

Tommy sort of grunted, and this time, Kim really did laugh.

"Wanna cup?" he asked around a yawn, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"Sure."

Kim took a seat as Tommy found a second mug and poured the brew out.  He joined her at the table.  She took a sip and started coughing.

"You okay?" Tommy asked.

"Y-you actually drink this stuff?" Kim sputtered.

"It tastes fine to me," he replied.  He took another sip.  "Well, it might be a little strong.  Sorry."

"Don't be.  I'm just not much of a coffee drinker," Kim apologized hastily, catching a glimmer of his wounded puppy look.  She really didn't want to hurt his feelings.  After all, he was doing her an enormous favor by letting her and Olivia live with him.  The least she could do was drink his coffee--even if it had the consistency of motor oil.

"Well, we can mess around with it and see if we can find a mix we can both drink," Tommy offered, the caffeine kicking in at last, making him a bit more reasonable.

"Tommy, I don't want to disrupt your life too much," Kim demurred.

"Changing the way I make coffee isn't disrupting my life.  Mom's been after me to tone down the sludge for forever.  She refuses to drink it when she and Dad come over."

Before Kim could reply, the two heard a plaintive "Mommy!"

Kim sighed.  "I had really hoped she'd sleep in today!"  As Kim rose from her chair to see to her daughter, Tommy got up also.  Kim eyed him questioningly.

"I'm gonna hit the shower," he said.  "Don't want to scare the poor kid half to death."

*

The hot water finished what the coffee started, and Tommy felt a little more able to deal with the reality of having two new roommates.

_At least Kim didn't running screaming when she saw me!_

This was going to take some getting used to.  He didn't mind having a roommate again; he and David had gotten along just fine.  His brother had moved out to attend graduate school.  Tommy was pretty sure he could handle a female roommate--he just wasn't sure he could handle it being Kim.  He was going to be hyper-conscious about his lifestyle--and his feelings . . . .  Then, there was Olivia to consider.  He didn't think he did anything about the house that wouldn't be acceptable for a five year old to be exposed to, but then, what did he know about five year olds?

There were still quite a few details he and Kim needed to iron out in their living arrangements.  Tommy lathered up his hair as he tried to recall which ones had already been discussed; however, his thoughts were interrupted by a frantic pounding on the bathroom door.

_What the . . . ?_

"Mommy?"

_Olivia?  Couldn't Kim get her back to sleep?_  "I think she's in the kitchen, Princess!" Tommy hollered out.

"But I gotta go potty NOW!"

_What do you expect with only one bathroom and a kid?_  Tommy peered out from behind the shower curtain--suddenly very grateful that it wasn't one of those glass doors.  He saw that he hadn't locked the door.

"You can come in, hon!"

As Tommy recalled from the few times he'd stayed over at the De Santos household, such had been standard operating procedure.  When Rocky first got his own place, he said the thing that he enjoyed most was privacy in the bathroom!

"I'll hurry, Tommy," Olivia assured him.

The girl didn't sound at all phased about having to share the bathroom, but then she was used to the community facilities on her floor in the dormitory.

_I'm going to have to remember not to lock the door when I'm in the shower--in case of an emergency.  So much for privacy and long showers . . . !_

*

_She wants pancakes,_ Kim sighed as she hunted about Tommy's cabinets in search of pancake mix.  She had tried everything--including laying down with her--to get Olivia to go back to bed.  She was just too excited to sleep, and she was hungry. 

_Looks like Tommy hasn't been shopping in awhile._  She wasn't sure what his routine was, but there was no doubt his unscheduled trip had messed it up.  Thus far, all she managed to find were the basics: flour, sugar, eggs . . . _.  At least he owns a cookbook._

Collecting a bowl, measuring spoons and cups, and a large mixing spoon, Kim paused to call down the hallway,  "Olivia?  How's it coming, Sweetie?"  She had left Olivia to dress herself so that she could get started on the pancakes, which hadn't sat well with her daughter until Kim recommended surprising Tommy.  The notion completely enchanted the tot.

_She thinks the world of him,_ Kim mused.  In a way, it was a little unsettling; she'd never seen Olivia warm up to anyone the way she did Tommy.  However, in spite of her own fears and misgivings, Kim knew that she felt the same way.

Noticing that she hadn't received an answer, Kim poked her head out into the hallway.  About that time, she heard Tommy's shout and some familiar sobs.  Both came from the bathroom.

"Olivia?  Tommy?"  Kim hurried down and tried the door; it wasn't locked, but she couldn't open it.  What was Olivia doing in there while Tommy was in the shower?

"Easy does it, Princess; I didn't mean to scare you," Kim heard Tommy say.  Her daughter's cries sounded loudly from the other side of the door.

"What's going on?" Kim demanded, pounding on the door.

"Hang on, Kim," Tommy called back.  "It's okay; you didn't do anything wrong.  I didn't even know that would happen.  Come on, now, sshh . . . ."

"Tommy . . . !"

"That's it, hon; step away from the door.  Your mommy's out there, and she doesn't want you to get hit when she opens the door . . . ."

Kim finally got the door open and found Olivia standing about an arm's length from a crouching Tommy.  The girl was sniffling and quivering, her tears ebbing, and Tommy . . . .  Kim felt the breath catch in her throat.  If the sight of his first-thing-in-the-morning self had been educational, the sight of him in the bathroom . . . .  He was dripping wet, hair plastered to his shoulders and water beading on his tanned skin.  He clutched a towel about his waist, but it gapped open on one side revealing a very long line of leg--all the way to the curve of his . . . . Kim gave herself a mental shake as Olivia dashed to her side, wrapped her arms around her so tightly she nearly fell over, and buried her face in the side of Kim's legs.

"What happened?" Kim queried, trying to keep her voice steadier than she felt at the moment.  Why seeing Tommy in nothing but a towel should so unsettle her was beyond her grasp at the moment.

"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to . . . ." Olivia whimpered.  Kim looked to Tommy for an explanation.  He was standing now, and she was finding it difficult to keep her eyes above shoulder level--a fact she found more than a little disturbing.

"Olivia needed to use the facilities, and since I was still in the shower, I figured it'd be okay--she sounded pretty desperate.  I just didn't think to tell her not to flush . . . ."

"Oh no," Kim murmured, wincing sympathetically as she buried her face in her hands to hide her amusement.  "Were you badly burned?"

"No, more surprised than anything else.  It scared her when I yelled, though."  Tommy ran his hand through his wet locks the way he always did when he was embarrassed.

Kim sighed and shook her head.  "Next time, honey, try to wait until Tommy's out of the bathroom."

"I tried, but I couldn't," Olivia protested.

"It's no big deal.  Three people, one bathroom . . . it was bound to happen sooner or later," Tommy said.  He flashed Olivia a smile.  "Am I forgiven for upsetting you?"  The girl nodded.  "May I have a hug?" 

Olivia detached herself from Kim's leg to grant his request.  "You're all wet!" she complained.

"Why don't we let Tommy finish his shower and get you dressed," Kim suggested, finding it unusually warm in the small bathroom.

*

Tommy finished his shower and decided that before he shaved he'd better get his robe; Kim had seemed rather agitated at finding him in a towel.  He check the hall to see if it was clear before stepping out.  Just as he did, he heard crying coming from the room across from the bathroom.

"Get over here!" Kim commanded exasperatedly.

"But it hurts!" Olivia protested.

Tommy couldn't believe that Kim would punish Olivia for the bathroom incident, but even if she was, it wasn't his place to interfere.  He had promised that he wouldn't.  Still, he couldn't help but be concerned, and he paused by the bedroom door which was slightly ajar.

"I know it hurts, but you've got a lot of knots."

"Stop pulling!"

"Tommi Olivia, unless you want me to get your hair all chopped off . . . ." Kim threatened, and it was a tone Tommy well remembered.  It was exactly the same one she used on him whenever she had been angry or frustrated with him.

"I like my hair long."

"Then stand still and let me brush it."

Tommy smiled to himself and left mother and daughter to (what he would come to know as) their morning battle.

* * *

"Here we are," Tommy announced, interrupting Olivia's lively--if somewhat off-key--song as he pulled the truck into the parking lot.

"Where's here?" Olivia asked excitedly, pressing her nose to the window to peer out at the building in the strip mall.

Tommy and Kim traded grins at the child's eagerness.  Angel Grove was so new and she had gotten out at the training center so seldom that even a trip to the market was a great adventure.

"This is the laundromat."

"What's that?"

"A place where you go to wash clothes."

"Like the laundry room back in the dorm," Kim elaborated.

"Oh."  Olivia sat back and pouted.  It was plain that she didn't think much of visiting the laundry room.  However, the mercurial mood passed.  "How come you don't have a laundry room at your apartment?"

"That's just the way it came," Tommy answered.  As they climbed out of the front seat, he shot Kim a long-suffering look.  "Do the questions ever stop?"

"They haven't yet."

Tommy shook his head; how had Kim managed to put up with the endless barrage for so long?  He collected the laundry baskets from the truck bed, and Kim grabbled the duffle bag.  They had been on the road for his usual laundry day, and Kim's decision to come home was so spur of the moment that she hadn't had time to wash things before packing to leave.

"I'll get the door!" Olivia chirped and darted off.

"Olivia!  This is a parking lot; don't go running off like that!" Kim scolded as she gave chase, and Tommy bit back a laugh.  The three of them looked and sounded very much like any other family that frequented the laundromat.  While he knew that they weren't quite a family, the thought filled Tommy with an unusual warmth.

"Tommy?" Kim queried, noting the soft smile he wore.

"Just a thought," he murmured, uncertain if he could--or should--explain it to her.

As Tommy walked in the door, he nearly fell over Olivia who stood perfectly still--eyes saucer-wide and mouth agape.

"What's the matter, Princess?" he queried as he managed to dance around her without upending the baskets.

"This doesn't look like the laundry room," Olivia replied in a hushed whisper.

"There you are, Thomas.  We missed you on Monday," a matronly woman, whose grey hair was piled atop her head in a nebulous bun, greeted Tommy.

He returned her toothy smile.  "Hello, Mrs. Bilinsky."

"Oh, who is this little sweetie?" the elderly woman cooed, smiling down at Olivia.

"I'd like you to meet my new neighbors Olivia Hart and her mother Kimberly," he introduced.  Tommy caught Kim's raised eyebrows and mouthed, _I'll explain in a minute._

"Welcome!" Mrs.  Bilinsky said with abundant enthusiasm.  "So nice to have new neighbors.  Would you like a cookie, Sweetie?  Mama Bilinsky has some in the back."

Olivia's eyes lit up at the thought, but before answering, she looked to Kim for permission.

"What kind do you have today?" Tommy wondered.

"My double chocolate with raspberry swirls."

"Oh man!  I wish I was young enough to rate a cookie," Tommy said with a mock pout.  To Kim, he explained, " Mrs. Bilinsky always bakes cookies for the kids."

"Can I, Mommy?" Olivia asked eagerly.

Noting Kim's indecision, Tommy nodded his encouragement.

"I suppose it's all right," Kim agreed, still rather dubious.

"Hey, Princess, do you think you can snatch one for me?" Tommy asked in a stage whisper.  "Chocolate raspberry is my favorite."

"Shame on you, Thomas," Mrs. Bilinsky scolded as she led Olivia off.

"The Bilinskys have owned this laundromat for forever," Tommy related as he set a basket down on a washer.  When he realized that it was full of little tiny dresses, he passed it over to Kim and took the duffle bag from her instead.  "Mrs. Bilinsky has been a widow for ten years, and all her children live far away.  She loves to bake, so she's the neighborhood cookie supplier.  Everyone around here thinks the world of her--except the Girl Scouts during cookie time."

"I didn't mean to imply that I didn't trust her or anything . . . ." Kim began defensively, turning the last of Olivia's socks right side out as she loaded the washer.

"I know.  She's a stranger to you and Olivia, and you want Olivia to be cautious about accepting things from strangers.  If I hadn't known Mrs. Bilinsky so well, I wouldn't have butted in."

"It'll take some getting used to living in a neighborhood where you can actually trust your neighbors," Kim sighed.  With the first washer loaded, she started on the second one.  She closed her eyes and frowned when she realized Tommy was not separating his clothes at all, merely dumping everything into a washer until it was full.  "With all those red t-shirts, it's a wonder all your underwear isn't pink," she snorted.

"Huh?  Oh, well . . . usually I sort stuff down," he mumbled.  His mind really wasn't on the laundry at the moment.

"By the way, what did you mean by 'neighbors?'"

Tommy shrugged sheepishly.  "Mrs. Bilinsky can be a little old fashioned--you know?"

Kim glanced to the table at the back of the facility where Olivia was chattering away, and the widow was seemingly hanging on her every word.  "I don't think you'll have to worry about awkward explanations," she said with a laugh.  "No doubt Olivia has explained the whole thing to her already.  Your taking us in is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to her."

"Oh, I forgot about that," he murmured.

"Tommy, you're not . . . ." Kim began hesitantly.

". . . not what?"

"Embarrassed to have us living with you, are you?"

"Of course not!" Tommy assured her.  "I just didn't think you'd care for one of Mrs.  Bilinsky's lectures.  Man, I thought my mom could deliver a tongue lashing!  You don't want to be on the receiving end of one of Mrs. Bilinsky's."

"What did she chew you out for?"

Tommy blushed faintly.  "It was back when I first opened the school.  I came in to take care of some towels, rags, and things for the school, and apparently someone had already told Mrs. Bilinsky about me.  Only, she mistook martial for marital, and she thought I was teaching kids all sorts of 'improper behaviors.'"

Kim burst out laughing.  "Oh, Tommy . . . !"

"Poor Mrs. Bilinsky was so embarrassed when Maggie finally set her straight about me that she kept me in cookies for nearly two months," he concluded with a chuckle.  Tommy felt a tug on his shirt and looked down to see Olivia beaming up at him and holding out a cookie.

"Mrs. Bi-lin-sky said to give you this," Olivia reported, taking care to say the name just right.

"Looks like you've done good," Kim murmured with amusement.

"Mommy, you gotta come see!" Olivia insisted, pulling on Kim's arm.  "If you look through the little windows, you can see the clothes go 'round-an'-round.  In the big ones you can even see the bubbles!"

"The laundry room wasn't nearly so exciting," Kim sighed as she allowed herself to be dragged off to witness this latest wonder.

While Kim was distracted, Tommy did a quick redistribution of his laundry then went in search of a seat.  However, as he turned, the door to the laundromat flew open, and two figures burst inside.

"Give that back, Slimeball!"

"Gotta catch me first, Karate-Geek!"

The boys continued their rough housing, unaware of Tommy's presence--that is, until they ran into him.

"You're lucky I'm not Mrs. Bilinsky," Tommy chided glibly.  "Hello, Chris.  Alex."

"Oh man, Chris," the red-head designated 'Slimeball' groaned.  "Busted by your sensei."

"Tommy!  When'd you get back?" the sandy-haired 'Karate-Geek' queried.

"A few days ago.  Shouldn't you two be helping your mother, Chris, instead of tearing through here like a pair of maniacs?" Tommy inquired as he hurried over to get the door for the basket-laden woman who followed the boys.  Tommy took one of the baskets from her.  "Need a hand, Maggie?"

"I thought that's why I brought the boys," Maggie Donovan muttered, grateful for the assistance.  She brushed a shock of brown hair well-streaked with grey out of her eyes.  "I should have sent Alex home."

"Sorry, Mom," Chris murmured.  "Me an' Alex will get the rest."

"That's Alex and I," Maggie corrected; however, both boys had already darted out the door to fetch the next load.  "I'm not sure which I'm looking forward to more: having my washing machine repaired or school starting."  She  pulled up to a washer next to Tommy's.  "So, how was your trip, Tom?  Chris didn't tell me you were back."

"I'll resume teaching on Tuesday.  We're still trying to get things settled."

Maggie raised an inquiring eyebrow as she headed for the change machine.  She nodded at Kim in passing.

"That kid," Kim sighed exasperatedly as she leaned against Tommy's washer.  "She thinks it'd be neat to go for a ride in one of the dryers."

"I see you conned Mrs. Bilinsky out of a cookie," Tommy observed.  Kim frowned as if to say, "how'd you guess?"  Tommy started to reach out to brush the chocolate stain from her upper lip--a gesture both innocent and intimate--but he stopped himself.  "Smudge marks," he said instead.  Kim hurriedly wiped her face.

"The kids will be glad to have you back at the school, Tom," Maggie said, resuming the conversation as she returned to start unloading her clothes.  "Leslie and Kurt just don't relate to them the way you do."

"It'll be good to be back," Tommy assured her.  Turning to Kim, he said, "I'd like you to meet Maggie Donovan.  Maggie, this is Kim Hart."

The two women shook hands, each eyeing the other with interest.

"Nice to meet you," Kim said.

"Hart . . . Kim Hart . . . the name sounds familiar."  Tommy noted that Kim had gone pale.  Maggie's frown of concentration swiftly turned into a smile.  "I'll remember eventually.  Anyway, it's good to meet you, too; I . . . Chris, where's the basket with your sister's clothes?"

"I dunno," the boy called back, shrugging.

"Did you get all the stuff out of the trunk?"

"You didn't unlock it."

"I really can't wait to have my washer back," Maggie muttered as she left to retrieve the rest of her wash.

"You know," Kim began as she checked on her load of clothes.  "I'm not used to people calling you Tom."

"It took me a while to get used to it, too," Tommy admitted.  "Everyone has always called me Tommy--even when I raced for my uncle."  He shrugged.  "Mostly, it's my students' parents who call me Tom, and Mrs. Bilinsky is the only one who calls me Thomas."

"I take it Maggie has a child in one of your classes."

"Yes--Chris, the blond terror.  He's the youngest of her three kids."

"You seem to know her fairly well."

"Maggie was one of the first people I met when I opened the school."  Tommy wondered about Kim's comment; she couldn't possibly be jealous, could she?

"It's just weird," Kim sighed.  "We've always had the same friends, and now you're friends with a whole bunch of people I don't know."

"Not really.  As far as people I hang out with, there's Kurt and Leslie--my assistants, and my brother.  I see Rocky and Adam every now and again, and Jason when he's on leave."

"Jason's in the Army?" Kim gasped.

"Navy, actually.  Maggie sort of falls somewhere between acquaintance and friend.  I think you'll like her."

"Oh?"

"She's very easy to talk to.  She has a way of putting you at ease.  She's the counselor at the Junior High.  She used to teach English, I think."

"I don't think I remember her," Kim remarked, trying to recall her teachers.

"I'm not sure how long she's been there; she moved to Angel Grove right after her divorce."

"A single mom with three kids," Kim murmured sympathetically.  "There are days when I can barely manage one!"

"She also volunteers at the Carmichael Center," Tommy continued.  He wondered if Kim remembered that Carmichael used to be called the Women's Crisis Center--a haven for women escaping domestic violence, teen runaways, and rape survivors.  However, Kim did not react to the name.

"By the way," Maggie called out as she hauled in another large sack of clothes.  "Matt tells me Carmen is back in the neighborhood."

Tommy cringed.

"Who's Carmen?" Kim wondered, obviously amused by his reaction.

"The ex-girlfriend of a former tenant that David and I helped out of a tight spot," Tommy answered tersely.  Carmen Vega was enough to make him regret being a good Samaritan.  He sighed.  He had really hoped she had moved on to bigger places and better things.  "What color should I be on the look out for this time?"

"Color?" Kim queried.

"Her hair.  Never has the same color whenever you see her."

"Fire engine red," Maggie supplied helpfully.

Tommy sighed again.  He could tell Kim was curious, but before she could pursue the matter, a squeal from Olivia distracted her.

"Excuse me a moment," she said hastily as she hurried off to see what her daughter had gotten into.

"Ah, I remember those days," Maggie said with a laugh.  She had that look about her, and Tommy waited for the inevitable.  "Another damsel in distress?  Mrs. Bilinsky told me you offered your spare bedroom to Kim and her daughter."

"News sure travels fast," he muttered.  "Kim's not a damsel in distress; she's one of the strongest people I know." Tommy's voice trailed off.  He was uncomfortable with the image of Kim as a helpless female. 

"Even strong people need help occasionally," Maggie said kindly.

"She's an old friend from high school . . . ."

"One who meant a great deal to you--and still does, eh?"

"Yeah."

* * *

"Olivia, please!  Give it a rest; Mommy has a headache," Kim snapped as her daughter launched into the umpteenth chorus of a song of her own making.  She stomped into the kitchen in search of some relief.  _Doesn't he have any Tylenol in this place! _ She fumed as she slammed the cabinet doors after each successive failure.  In the living room, the racket continued.  "Olivia, that's enough!"

Kim hated feeling like this: achy, irritable, impatient . . . and she hated having nothing to do.  She was used to being busy from the time she woke up until she went to bed.  It was so frustrating being unable to find a job . . . .  She felt utterly miserable, so of course her daughter would pick today to be clingy, whiny, and temperamental.

"Mommy, you promised to take me to the park," Olivia complained.

"It's raining outside; I've told you that a dozen times already."

"I'm bored."

Kim winced.  She loathed those two words.

"Isn't there anything on TV?"

"No, and I've played with all my toys."

Which were admittedly few.  "What about your crayons?"

"I don't want to color!"

"Then use your imagination."

"If we were at the gym, I'd have something to do," Olivia pouted.  "I wish we never moved to this boring place!"

"Don't even go there," Kim warned, her tone strident, bordering on furious.  "You were just as bored at the training center.  We're not going back there, so you'll just have to deal with it."

"You don't love me anymore . . . ."

"You have until the count of five to get your little behind on your bed," Kim snapped, her threadbare patience stretched to the limit.  "One . . . two . . . ."

Olivia beat a hasty retreat, and Kim let out a long, slow breath, grateful that the counting still worked.  As she headed back to the bathroom for another look for the Tylenol, she could hear Olivia sniffling in the bedroom.  So much for round one.

*

Round two commenced a few hours later.  Kim felt infinitely worse than she had.  If the headache wasn't wretched enough, now she had cramps.  She had laid down for what was supposed to have been five minutes but wound up being almost an hour.  It hadn't done anything to improve her mood.

The first thing Kim noticed was that it was entirely too quiet.  A glance at the clock showed that it was too early for Tommy to be home, so what was Olivia up to?  Kim was generally a light sleeper, so if any thing had happened, she would have heard the noise and woken up.  Not liking the silence, and braced for a discovery she just knew she wasn't going to like, Kim headed out to the living room.

There sat Olivia amid a pile of books, trading cards, photos, and binders, contentedly thumbing through a photo album.  Then Kim spied a shelf that had fallen out of the bookcase.  She shut her eyes and counted to ten before speaking.  "What happened here?"

The tot gave a startled squeak.  "You scared me, Mommy."

"Olivia . . . ."

"I didn't mean to, Mommy," she began, getting weepy.  "Tommy said it was all right for me to look at his picture books . . . ."

"I'm sure he didn't say you could pull the pictures out."

"Some weren't in the book."

"What happened to the shelf?"

"I don't want to tell you."

Which was Olivia's favorite phrase when she knew she had done something she shouldn't have.  Kim gritted her teeth, trying to remain calm.  "What have I told you about getting into Tommy's things?"

"I didn't!  He said I could . . . ."

"He said you could throw his card collection all over the floor . . . ?"

"They fell when the shelf fell, Mommy."

"I don't care.  They aren't yours to mess with.  I want this picked up before Tommy gets home."

"Will you help me, Mommy?"

"What's the rule?"

"Whoever makes the mess picks it up," Olivia muttered.  "But it's so big!  I can't do it all by myself!"  Then, the tears began to fall.

"Tommi Olivia, you are almost five years old . . . ."  Kim whirled and marched back to the bedroom for another countdown.  She was yea-close to spanking Olivia . . . .

"Hey, Princess, what's wrong?" she heard Tommy cheerfully query as he walked in.  "Hey, don't cry.  You didn't break anything; that shelf falls out all the time.  See?  The shelf slides right back in, and I'll help you pick this stuff up . . . ."

"Thomas James, don't you dare!" Kim threatened, storming back out to the living room.  "Olivia has to learn how to pick up after herself."  Tommy's look of complete astonishment was just too much for Kim to handle, and she fled to her room to have a good--if ridiculously useless--cry.

*

A short while later, after the flood waters had subsided, Kim heard a knock at her door.

"Hey, are you okay?" Tommy asked.

"No.  Go away," Kim answered curtly.  She didn't think she could handle his solicitude after she had just behaved worse than her own child.  Tommy, however, hadn't taken no for an answer.

"Olivia says you aren't feeling well," he continued.  "You should have said something earlier; I would have taken her downstairs with me."

"Did she pick everything up?" Kim asked, evading the issue.  

"Everything but the trading cards.  Those I wanted to take care of.  They used to be Uncle John's; he gave them to me as a sort of 'retirement' present when I left his team."

"If you don't want Olivia getting into them, you'll have to put them up higher or something."

"Olivia didn't get into them on purpose.  She knows those are off limits.  When the shelf fell, so did they.  That's all."

Kim felt bad enough as it was; Tommy didn't need to make it worse by being so damn reasonable.

"Tell you what.  I only have one class left.  I'll take Olivia with me, and then she can go with me on a supply run.  That'll give you a couple of hours to yourself.  All right?"

Why did he have to be so nice when she was being so bitchy?  She felt herself getting weepy again.

"That's fine.  Thanks, Tommy."

"You just take it easy and get some rest," he said soothingly.  "Is there anything I can get for you?"

"Industrial strength Midol," she muttered sarcastically.  "Failing that, some Tylenol would be nice.  You're all out."

"Sorry.  It's on my list of things to pick up.  I'll do a quick look around and see if there's anything else we need."

Kim just rolled over and buried her face in the pillow.

*

Tommy was as good as his word; he and Olivia had already been gone a good two hours; however, Kimberly had been unable to rest.  She always felt horrible after fighting with her daughter.  After all, Olivia was all she had.  She knew she wouldn't be able to relax until she was able to hug her and tell her that she loved her.  Since rest was out of the question and she was already in a crappy mood, Kim pulled out her bills, figuring they couldn't depress her anymore than she already was.

However, after only a few minutes, Kim shoved the papers away from her and buried her face in her hands, fighting tears.  _Everything is such a mess!_  Doctor bills, the credit cards . . . .  Coach Schmidt had generously given her her full check for August before she left; she had stretched it as far as it could go, but it just wasn't enough.  It was never enough to allow her to get ahead.  Kim's eyes fell on a sheaf of papers that seemed to mock her: her application for her coaching license.  How was she ever going to be able to get the damn thing?  There was never enough left over to put towards the fee . . . .

A key in the door snapped Kim out of her moment of despair.  She got up as Tommy entered, Olivia all but asleep in his arms.

"It's way past somebody's bedtime," Tommy murmured.

"I'll take her," Kim said, holding her arms out for her child.

"Here you go, Princess."

Tommy transferred Olivia to Kim, and Kim quickly wrapped her daughter in a tight hug.

"Mommy, are you all better now?" Olivia asked sleepily.

"Yes, Sweetie, I feel better.  Thank you."

"I'm sorry I was so bad . . . ."

". . . and I'm sorry I was so impatient.  Think we can do better tomorrow?"

"Uh huh.  Is it too late for me to have a story?"

"Of course not."

"Can Tommi Bear pick the story this time?"

"Yes, Tommi Bear can pick the story  . . . ."

*

Once Olivia was fast asleep and Kim was more in control of herself, she ventured out to the kitchen.  Tommy was still putting the groceries away.  Kim started cleaning up her paperwork.

"You guys never go to bed angry, huh," Tommy remarked.

"We try not to.  When all you have is each other, you can't afford to stay angry," Kim sighed.  "I just wish I wouldn't lose patience with her like that."

"We all have days like that.  Olivia understands better than you think.  She explained it to me while we were at the store."

"Sometimes I wonder just which one of us is the more mature," Kim murmured wryly, brushing at her watering eyes.

"Still feeling miserable?"

"Yeah.  Did you remember the Tylenol?" she sighed.

"Sure did.  I also picked up this.  I couldn't find industrial strength, so I hope regular will do."

Kim barely had time to look up as Tommy tossed her a small box.  Kim's eyes went wide when she saw the label.  "You bought me Midol?"  She felt herself blushing.

"You said you wanted some," he replied with a shrug.  "You also looked a little low in the supply department, so . . . ."  He tossed her a pink box, and the heat really flared in Kim's cheeks.

"Oh God," she moaned.  She couldn't believe it; he had picked up a box of tampons!  He had even gotten the right brand.   "You mean you really . . . how could you . . . weren't you embarrassed to be buying . . . ?"

"What's the bid deal?  Mom was forever sending Dad to the store for stuff like that."

"That's different.  They're married!"

"Well, when Dad wasn't around, she'd send me.  It's not like this was the first time I've ever bought feminine hygiene products.  Who do you think keeps the emergency supplies stocked in the restroom downstairs?" Tommy asked with a shrug.  "My female students would probably die of embarrassment if they knew it was me and not Leslie stocking the dispenser.  Besides, it helped this time around that I had Olivia with me."

Kim was too flabbergasted and embarrassed to say anything further.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to embarrass you," Tommy said softly, picking up on her discomfort.  "I know I probably shouldn't have been going through the things on your shelf in the bathroom . . . it's just force of habit.  When David lived here, I always had to go through the shelves otherwise we'd completely run out of stuff.  He'd never tell me when he used something up."

"No, Tommy, it's all right; I just . . . .  Thank you," Kim fumbled.

"No problem.  Say, do you feel up to a cup of cocoa?  I remembered to pick some up," he offered.

"S-sure.  Just let me go take something for this headache," Kim mumbled and made a hasty retreat to the bathroom.

*

By the time Kim returned to the kitchen, the groceries were all put away, and two cups of steaming cocoa sat on the table.  Tommy was at the computer in the living room checking his e-mail, so Kim sat down and grabbed a cup.  Her papers were still all over the place, and she eyed the pile bleakly.  In spite of the Midol, she was still feeling weepy.

"Did I do the right thing?" she murmured, staring absently into the chocolate depths of her mug.

"What do you mean?" Tommy queried as he joined her.

"Picking up and leaving like that.  I mean, I should have at least attempted to line up a job here first or something before giving up my old one."

'Don't get discouraged, Kim; it's only been a week.  Something will come along."

"But I can't just take the first thing that comes along!  I know what I need to make; at the bare minimum, I need to bring home what I made at the gym--and that's without daycare expenses.  If I got a job at McDonald's or a store at the mall, I'd barely make enough to cover the child care...."

"I told you I'd help out with watching Olivia," Tommy interjected.  "After all, I'm the boss.  I can have her at the school if I want to."

"I don't want her living in a gym!  It's one of the reasons I wanted to get out of the training center.  I want her to be with kids her own age.  I want her to go outside and play . . . ."

"Okay, so fast food and retail are out.  There are plenty of other jobs . . . ."

"I don't have any secretarial or technical skills or a college education.  I barely have my G.E.D!"   Realizing how that must sound to Tommy made Kim blush.  She hadn't even been able to finish with the tutor.  Maybe he hadn't gone to college either, but at least he earned his high school diploma properly.  When Tommy made no comment, Kim went on,  "The only thing I'm qualified to do is teach gymnastics."

"So?  Isn't there a major gymnastics center in Angel Grove?"

"You're thinking of Olga's," Kim sighed.  "I went there for a while but quit.  I couldn't handle working for Hitler's sister."

"What about the smaller schools or something in Stone Canyon?"

"Teaching gymnastics isn't as easy as it once was.  It used to be that anyone who was a successful athlete in the sport could coach, but now there's testing, and you have to have a license."

"Wouldn't your time with Coach Schmidt be like an apprenticeship and take the place of the exams?"

"Yes, but there's still the license fee."  Kim stared bleakly at the application form.  "Money I don't have to spare right now."

"May I?" Tommy queried, indicating the paper in front of her.

"Why not," she sighed as she passed the form to him.  As he scanned the bottom line, Tommy let out a low whistle.

"About as bad as my certification costs," he sympathized.

"Coach really bent the rules by keeping me on, but no one else will want to take the chance."  Kim took a sip of her cocoa and found it already cold.  "Maybe . . . maybe I should have stayed and not let . . . ."  She couldn't finish the thought.

"Why did you decide to leave when you did?" Tommy asked softly.  "You sounded pretty upset when you called; what happened?"

Kim didn't want to respond, but she knew Tommy deserved an honest answer.  After everything he had already done, the least she could do was give him that.  However, her voice didn't seem to want to work.  Her hands tightened around her cup, and she couldn't look at him at all. "I--I was scared," she admitted when she could finally speak.  Then, her self-ire flared.  That sounded so stupid . . . so pathetic . . . even if it was the truth, and when she spoke again, her tone was bitter.  "I didn't come because I wanted to; I came because I had to.  I had to get out of there.  I . . . ran away."  Not once had she looked at him.  Tommy said nothing for a long while, and the silence was starting to make her uneasy.

"What were you running away from?  What scared you?" he asked gently, and Kim could find no trace of condemnation in his words.

"Earlier that day when we were coming back from town, Olivia and I passed by the park, and I saw . . . I saw . . . ."  Her nerve failed her; she just couldn't . . . .

She didn't have to.  "Was it one of the guys who attacked you?"

Kim wanted to curl up in a tight ball and hide.  "I'm not real sure, but I think so.  I all but ran back to the gym, dragging poor Olivia along behind me.  By the time I reached the room, I was hysterical.  I couldn't stop shaking or crying . . . .  All I could think of was that we weren't safe anymore--I wasn't safe anymore.  I didn't know what else to do, so I called."  Kim felt so ashamed of herself; she felt as if she had lied to Tommy somehow--abused his offer of friendship.  She had been afraid that if he knew the truth, he wouldn't have let them come; even now she feared that he might ask her to leave . . . .

"Does being here--in Angel Grove--make you feel safer?" Tommy asked after a lengthy pause.

She risked a glance up at him.  There was nothing in his expression but kindness and understanding.  "Y-yes," she confessed.

"Then the reason why you came doesn't matter, and it was definitely the right thing for you to do," he assured her.  "But you'd feel better if things were a little more financially secure, eh?"

"Things have never been financially secure, but I'd feel better if I at least had a job," she agreed.  She flashed him a timid but grateful smile.

"Then let's see what we can do to get you that job."  Tommy abandoned his seat and headed into the living room again, the USGF form still in his hands.

"What are you . . . ?" she began, following him.  Tommy pulled up a seat on his computer and called up his bookkeeping program.  Kim didn't feel right reading over his shoulder, so she went to sit down on the couch.  She watched Tommy consider the figures on the screen, then he typed something up and turned on the printer.

"What are you doing?" she asked at last.

"Is this application filled out?" Tommy asked in return.

"Yes . . . ."

"Where's Coach's letter?"

"On the table . . . ."

Kim scrambled up to follow him back to the kitchen.  This time, she did glance at the screen and noted the check form in the printer.  "Tommy, no!  You're not . . . I can't take your money for this."

"Sure you can," he answered, folding the form and letter and slipping them into the envelope provided.  "We agreed that you wouldn't take any money from me unless it was absolutely necessary for Olivia.  I believe this falls into that clause."

"How do you figure?"

"You can't cover Olivia's expenses without a job, and you can't get a job you're qualified for without this license, so . . . ."            

"Tommy . . . ." Kim murmured helplessly, not sure whether to argue the point or thank him.

"Kim, it's not going to break me or make me short for this month."

"What about next month?"

"Next month either.  I wouldn't have offered if I couldn't swing it."

"I will pay it back," she assured him.

"I know you will; I'm not worried about that.  You all but wrote that in blood when we hashed out the details of our arrangement," he replied with a laugh.  "If it'll make you feel any better, I'll set up a billing file for you.  However, there is no rush.  I want you to take care of your other obligations first; I don't charge eighteen percent interest."

"Thanks, Tommy," Kim murmured gratefully.  Her diffident smile faltered as Tommy grabbed his truck keys.  "Where are you going?"

"To mail this now."

"Why?  I'll mail it in the morning."

"Will you?  Or will you reconsider half way to the post office?"

Kim wanted to deny it, but she wasn't sure she could.  She hung her head, unable to meet Tommy's inquiring gaze.

"I'll be back in ten minutes," was all he said.

* * *

"Tommy, wake up!  Please wake up, Tommy!"

Consciousness slowly returned, and Tommy opened his eyes to find Olivia, her beloved Tommi Bear clutched to her chest,  perched atop his stomach and bouncing on him insistently.

"Wazzup, Princess?" he yawned.  He glanced over at the clock; it was 3 a.m.; what was the girl doing up at this hour?  At first, he thought it might have been a prank or something, but as his vision cleared, it became obvious that Olivia was worried about something.

"It's Mommy, Tommy," Olivia murmured.  "She's having The Dream again, only this time I can't wake her up!"

Tommy scooped Olivia into his arms and bounded out of bed.  He could hear the capital letters in Olivia's voice as she referred to the dream.  Her face was so pale and she looked so scared that Tommy knew that whatever it was, it wasn't something pleasant.  The two hurried down the hall to the bedroom the Hart women shared.

Kim had been rather disturbed when she had gone to bed four hours ago.  The two of them had been watching the evening news.  It was pretty much the typical fare: national events, sports, weather, Power Rangers and the latest monster attack . . . however, there was one local story that had unsettled Kim.  There had been a report about a woman who had been attacked in a southside mall parking lot.  The man had tried to rape her, but the fortuitous arrival of a mall security van frightened the would-be rapist off.  Kim had gone pale upon hearing that; she seemed to withdraw into herself, and as she excused herself to go to bed, her parting comment had been, _"Nowhere is safe, is it?  Not even Angel Grove."_

Tommy paused in the doorway, setting Olivia down.  From the way Olivia was reacting, he fully expected to find Kim thrashing around, screaming and moaning.  She wasn't.  She was making sounds, but they were through clenched teeth.  Her body was as rigid as a board, and she lay absolutely still, her whole attitude was like . . . .  _Like she's being held down._  Tommy felt sick as he realized what The Dream was about: the rape.  Olivia hurried forward and scrambled onto Kim's bed.

"Mommy, wake up!" she implored piteously, futilely trying to shake her mother awake.

"Sit back, honey, and let me try," Tommy recommended, finally coming forward.  "Does your Mommy have this dream a lot?"

"Uh huh.  Most times I can wake her up before she gets really bad, but I couldn't . . . . Make it stop, Tommy!" Olivia begged, tears coming to her eyes.

"Don't cry, Sweetie.  It'll be okay," Tommy promised, giving the frightened child a reassuring hug.  As bad as the nightmare was for Kimberly, how much worse was it for Olivia who couldn't possibly understand what was going on?

" . . . please . . . no more . . . no more . . . ." Kim pleaded in a strained voice.

"Come on, Beautiful; snap out of it," Tommy began, shaking her firmly by the shoulder.  The only thing to happen was that Kim's distress seemed to grow.

" . . . NO! . . . d-don't . . . not that . . . no . . . .!"  She began to move--began to fight, her body bucking forward and her arms flailing about.

"I don't like this part," Olivia whimpered, hugging her bear more tightly.

"Kim . . . ." Tommy commanded more firmly, catching her hands to try and keep her from hurting herself.  The restraint only seemed to make Kim more desperate, and she fought harder.

"Stop it, Mommy!" Olivia shouted, utterly panicked.

"Kim, that's enough!  Wake up.  It's just a dream," Tommy insisted, giving her a good shake.  He was beginning to think he was going to have to slap her.

"Mommy, please . . . !"

Suddenly, Kim's eyes snapped open, and she lurched forward with a gasp.  Tommy wasn't sure if she was awake or not; the look in her eyes was wildly terrified.  Then, her vision seemed to clear.

"T-Tommy?" she stammered, leaning into his embrace as the tears began streaming down her cheeks.  However, she suddenly pulled away from him, looking as frightened as her daughter.  Her eyes never left him, her wild-eyed gaze unsettling him.

"You were having a nightmare," Tommy explained gently.  She was trembling so much; he ached with wanting to pull her into his arms to comfort her.

"Mommy, why wouldn't you wake up?" Olivia sniffled, inching forward uncertainly.

"I don't . . . ." She looked lost.  

"Don't cry, Mommy; it's okay now," the girl crooned.  Bear in tow, she scrambled onto Kim's pillows.  "Here, Mommy, you can have Tommi Bear; she'll make it all better," Olivia offered, pressing her toy into Kim's hands, then she threw her tiny arms around Kim's quaking shoulders.

"Oh, Baby . . . !" Kim gulped and wrapped her arms around her daughter, trying to stifle her tears as she soothed the little girl.

Tommy wisely sat back and didn't interfere.  Still, he hurt for Kim as he watched her ease Olivia's fears while trying to master her own.  He kept his silent vigil, waiting until Kim had petted and rocked her daughter back to sleep.  He made no move until it was obvious that Olivia was out and Kim had no strength to even move.

"Here, let me," he whispered as he reached to take the tot from Kim's tired arms.  Numbly, she surrendered her daughter to him, and Tommy tucked Olivia back into her own bed.  By the time he had Olivia settled in, Kim had made a retreat of sorts, scuttling back until she was pressed against the headboard, her knees pulled up to her chest, and staring straight ahead blankly.  She clung to Olivia's teddy as if her life depended on it.  She wouldn't be lulled back to sleep so easily.

"Come with me," he instructed, reaching out for her hand.  Her face had gone grey all of a sudden, and he was sure that didn't bode well.  She cowered back warily.  "I'm just going to help you over to the bathroom, all right?  Tommi Bear can come, too; I'm sure Olivia won't mind."  Tentatively, she extended her hand and allowed Tommy to help her up.

Zombie-like, Kim followed him across the hall; he guided her to the toilet and had her sit down.  Next, he put a cool wet cloth on the back of her neck; she looked as if she would faint.  She still hadn't said a word, and her quivering hadn't subsided.  When he place a hand on her shoulder, he noticed that her nightgown was drenched with sweat.

"Kim, I'm going to get you a clean nightgown; will you be okay by yourself for a couple of minutes?"  She looked up at him vacantly and nodded.

Tommy dashed across the hall, but he didn't know where Kim kept her nightwear, nor did he feel comfortable rummaging through her things.  He didn't want to give her any reason to feel violated again.  Instead, he hurried to his room and grabbed something out of his drawer--the top half of the only "proper" pair of pajamas he owned (which he hadn't worn in forever).  By the time he returned to the bathroom, Kim was on the floor and bent over the stool.  Tommy knelt beside her and pulled her hair out of the way while she finished heaving.

Kim finally sat back, hugging her knees to her.

"Why don't you put this on, and I'll go get you something to drink," Tommy instructed.  Kim merely nodded, but it was with a little more vigor than before.  He found that encouraging.  He gave her hand a squeeze and shut the door behind him as he headed for the kitchen.

_Is it always this bad?_ he wondered as he tried to make up his mind what to get for her.  Sludge/coffee was out, and with an unsettled stomach so was milk.  He opted for Sprite.  Right now, he was very scared for her.  He didn't know what to do or say . . . .  He didn't know if he was doing Kim any good or if he was just making things worse by being there.  All he could go by was the overwhelming feeling that she shouldn't be alone right now.  She had faced this nightmare by herself far too many times.

When Tommy returned to the bathroom, Kim wasn't there.  He peeked into her room; she wasn't there either.  He backtracked to the living room and found her huddled in the corner of the couch. A sad smile tugged at his lips.  Wearing his pajama top that hung huge on her tiny frame and clutching the teddy bear . . . .  He remembered winning that bear for her at a carnival shortly after they started dating.  The bow, now faded, had been pink and green; she had laughingly called it Tommy-bear because of the large dark eyes. She said it was her favorite because it was the first thing he had ever given her.  When he had seen Olivia with it, Kim explained that she had given Olivia the bear so that she'd always have a special friend; the tot had thought it was so cool that her mommy's teddy bear had the same name as her.  Now, Kim sat hugging the bear to her . . . she looked so small and waif-like . . . .  It would have been a precious sight had Kim not looked so broken, vulnerable, and desperately afraid.

"How are you doing?" he queried as he sat on the ground before her.  He handed her the glass, but her hands were shaking so badly she nearly dropped it.  He helped steady the cup so she wouldn't spill the soda on herself.

"G-getting better," she stammered.  "Thanks."  She refused to look at him.

"Is it always like this?" he ventured cautiously.  Again, he had this sense that he needed to keep Kim talking.

"At first, but not for a while."

"Because of the news report?"

"Maybe.  A-after it first happened, I had to stop watching the news . . . ."

She had opened up for a moment, but Tommy could feel her retreating.  "Kim, don't!" he urged.  She flinched at his sharp command.  "Talk to me.  Please," he implored.  She was on the verge of fleeing into herself; he couldn't let that happen.  "You've never really told anyone what happened that night, have you?  Sure, you told the police the details, but you've never talked about what it was like for you--how you felt . . . .  You've never gotten any help, have you?"

"N-no . . . ."

"Will you tell me?"

Kim's eyes went wide, and she recoiled slightly.  Tommy felt like swearing, but he kept his voice soft and soothing.  "Are you afraid to tell me?"

She bit her lower lip and offered him a tiny nod.

"Why?  I already know what happened.  What are you afraid of?"

"I don't know," she whispered tearfully.  

He gave her an encouraging smile.  "Kim, you have to confide in someone; you can't just lock everything up inside . . . .  Remember what you told me when I first lost my Green Ranger powers?  You told me not to hold everything inside; the pain would keep growing and would gnaw at me until nothing was left . . . that the hole in my soul would never heal until I took the thorn out.  You asked me to give you my pain so that you could make it go away."

Tommy could see that she did remember; he knew he'd never forget.  It was the first time he had ever opened up and truly let Kim into his heart, creating a bond of love and friendship that he felt would withstand any test.

"Kim, you shut me out and wouldn't let me help you before; let me help now.  Give me your pain so I can make it go away."  Tommy knew that it was naive to think that he could really make things better just by having her talk to him about what happened, but if she would open up to him, perhaps he could help her find the strength to reach out to someone else who could.

"I don't want to . . . I don't want to remember," Kim mumbled, suddenly defiant.

"I think you do, Kim.  I think that's why you're still having the nightmares after all this time."

"Don't make me go through this again," she pleaded.  Her desperate tone was almost enough to make Tommy give in.

"If you don't, the dreams won't go away."

"If--if I tell you, you'll . . . you'll leave me, too," she choked out, and Tommy understood her reluctance.  It was an echo of the fear that had caused her to send him that letter five years ago.

"Like your mom did," he said softly.  She nodded.  Tommy knelt up and clasped his hands around hers, gazing up at her with what he hoped was his most open, most guile-less expression.  "Kim, I give you my word of honor, there is nothing that you can tell me that would make me leave you.  I'll be here for you--I promise."

He saw her panic and her indecision.  As much as he wanted to, he wouldn't press her anymore.  He waited.  All at once, her shoulders sagged, and she looked exhausted.  It was as if she was tired of fighting and had surrendered.

"A-all right," she agreed in a timid voice.

Tommy let out a sigh of relief.

"It'll be okay," he promised and waited for her to begin.  However, Kim seemed at a loss as if she didn't know where to begin.  "You had gone out with your teammates to see a movie, and you and one of the guys were walking home afterward . . . ." he prompted.

"That was Jim; he was from a small town in Ohio.  Great on the highbar.  My age . . . the youngest guy on the team," Kim began in a monotone, her dull gaze focused on a point across the room from Tommy.  "Spent most of his life in the gym."

Pretty sheltered, Tommy realized.

"It seemed safe enough to walk.  There were two of us.  The street was well lighted, and Jim looks really strong.  It was pretty quiet--no one on the street, and then out of nowhere the four of them popped up.

"There were gangs of every nationality in the area, but these guys were Hispanic--Puerto Rican, I guess.  One had on a tank top, and I could see some strange marking--kind of like a brand or something.  Two were about your height but not as muscular; they looked alike--maybe brothers.  The skinny one couldn't have been more than fifteen or sixteen.  The third was so dark he was almost black--literally, and the fourth . . . ."

Kim's breath caught in her throat, and she closed her eyes as a shudder of fear and revulsion raced through her.

". . . the fourth was shorter than the others but was as solidly built as Jason.  He's the one with the mark on his shoulder, and he had a scar on his left cheek.  His eyes were black and cold--so very, very cold . . . .  He was the leader.

"I didn't even think--just reacted, automatically dropping into a defensive stance.  I knew I wasn't a Ranger anymore, but Zordon always said the power would protect us, and you guys taught me how to fight.  I felt pretty sure I could handle them as long as Jim could . . . but he wasn't one of you guys.  He was strong but he had no idea how to fight.  I told him to run for help, thinking maybe at least one of the guys would follow him.  He stayed.  Tried to be a hero, I guess."

Kim paused to take a sip of her Sprite, trying to collect herself.  Tommy forced himself to be patient.

"While I was fighting, I remember thinking that you'd be proud of me," Kim murmured after a while.  "I beat the two who were trying to take me, and I broke and ran . . . . Then, the leader called after me . . . .

_"Go ahead and run, chica, but aren't you forgetting something?"_   

"I stopped.  He and one of the others had Jim.  He was out cold, and they had a knife against his throat . . . .

_"Go on, but for every step you take, the knife goes in deeper."_

"He was bluffing; he had to be!  I took a step back, and the knife bit into Jim's neck.  I could see the blood oozing from the cut.  He was serious.  I stood there trying to think.  There was no one around . . . and even though we'd made a lot of  noise while we were fighting, no one had come to see what was going on.  We were alone.  All alone.  I c-couldn't think . . . I knew I wasn't fast enough without my powers to get to Jim before the knife cut him more."

Tommy pictured the scene with unnerving clarity: Kim facing the four thugs, frantically trying to come up with something, trying to master her fear without letting the others know that she was afraid.  Her hands at her sides, clenching and unclenching.  He could hear her voice--her tone flat, betraying nothing . . . .

_"What do you want?"_

_"Cooperate, chica, and we let him live.  Maybe you, too."_

"They didn't even drag me into that alley; I walked on my own," she continued after a lengthy pause.  "I had to play along.  I figured if I was patient, someone would come along or one of the guys would give me an opening or Jim would wake up . . . but none of that happened.  'Shorty' kept the knife on Jim at all times."

Kim massaged her arms as if trying to ward off a chill.

_"Now what?"_

_"Now, we have some fun . . . ."_

"T-they made me take off my shirt," Kim stammered, her tears starting again, and Tommy could see the flush in her cheeks and hear the shame in her tone.  "They never touched me.  I had to take off my shirt and my bra . . . m-my panties . . . all they did was watch--leering at me . . . ."  She closed her eyes, salty rivers trickling down her cheeks.  Tommy clenched his fists; he almost couldn't listen to this, couldn't bear seeing Kim's humiliation afresh.  He wished he'd never asked this of her, but in spite of how difficult it was to speak of it, Kim continued with her story.

  "I--I stood there in nothing but my skirt while they talked . . . in Spanish.  I couldn't understand them.  Then Shorty turned Jim over to the tall one and the dark one.  H-he bent me over the trash cans and lifted my skirt . . . his hands were on my . . . my . . . ."

Tommy's heart was in his throat, and he fought back the rising tide of bile.

_"Be a good girl or your friend gets a new smile_."

"Then, he stopped and had the skinny one--the kid--come over.  He wanted him to go first--I guess 'cause it was his first time or something.  They traded places . . . I was still over the cans.  I was glad.  I wouldn't have to see . . . I closed my eyes and braced myself . . . .  Shorty stopped The Kid again.  When he looked at me, I wanted to throw up.  H-he told The Kid to turn me over. . . ."

_"I want you to look at your lover."_

"Shorty took over holding Jim hostage, and Tall and Dark came over to hold me down.  Tall held my head and smiled at me . . . _'be good for mi hermano.'_  The Kid was down between my legs....  I would have sworn he looked nervous, but I guess I was imagining things.  H--he bunched my skirt up . . . spread m-my legs . . . oh, God . . . he . . . he . . . !"

Kim drew into a tight ball, going unnaturally still and quiet.  Tommy realized that that's what she must have done at the time.  She couldn't fight, so she retreated from the horror by hiding within herself.  It was too much for him.  He couldn't just sit there and let Kim crawl back into her lonely shell.  He scrambled onto the couch and pulled her unyielding body into his arms.

"No, Kim, don't go away.  Cry.  Scream.  Let it all out now like you couldn't then."

There was a moment of utter quiet, then came the sobs and the pounding of fists against his chest and the flood of bitter, anguished questions.

"Why?" Kim raged hoarsely.  "Why me?  What did I do to deserve that?  H--he said the power would always protect us, but it didn't!  Zordon lied!  He lied to me!

"I wanted to fight, but I couldn't!  I had to let him do that to me . . . oh God, it hurt!  It was like Goldar stabbing me over and over . . . I could feel the blood . . . .

Tommy held her more firmly as she sobbed and gasped for air.  Violent tremors shook her whole body as she grieved for all she had lost that night.

"I tried not to feel anything.  I made myself go cold inside . . . found a place to hide in my mind," she continued with a hiccup.  "They could have my body, but I'd be damned if I was going to give them anything else--not my tears, not my fears, my screams or anything!  When Dark's turn was over, he said it was like fucking a corpse.  I remember thinking, three down one to go.  They hadn't gotten anything from me but an orgasm that they could've enjoyed more if they'd have jerked off.  Then, it was Shorty's turn."

Suddenly, Kim went still.  It was so abrupt that it took Tommy by surprise.  He glanced down to see what was in Kim's face.  She was sheet white; if he thought she had looked scared before . . . the terror naked in her eyes now was enough to unnerve him.

_"I'll show you guys how to make her scream like a woman should."_

"H--he didn't just take me," she whispered numbly.  "He started touching me again . . . all over... none of the others had . . . .  Oh God, he was making me . . . feel things . . . .

"I panicked.  Jim didn't matter anymore.  Shorty couldn't . . . I wouldn't let him do that to me . . . !  I started struggling . . . I begged him not to . . . .  He just laughed.   He tried kissing me--a French kiss--and I lost it.  When his tongue was in my mouth, I bit it--hard."

A smile slowly spread across Kim's face, but it was cold and hard, sending chills shooting up Tommy's spine--a death's head smile.  "That made him mad.  He hit me.  Hard.  He kept hitting me . . . I was never so happy to be hit in my whole life . . . ."

_"Stupid bitch, what are you smiling for?"_

"Things started getting fuzzy then.  There was blood in my mouth; the last thing I clearly remember was spitting it at him before he threw me across the trash cans.  After that . . . nothing until I woke up in the E.R."

Tommy struggled to keep his emotions under control.  He felt anger rising in him--a darkness he hadn't known since his evil Green Ranger days.  He knew that if he had known about the attack at the time, the only way Zordon--or anyone else--could have kept him from hunting the bastards down and ripping their hearts out would have been to kill him.

"I hope the cops caught those . . . ." Tommy rumbled darkly, but was interrupted by Kim's harsh laugh.

"I doubt the cops ever looked for them," she spat.

"What?"

"God, Tommy, it was like something you'd see in the movies!"  Kim's tears flowed afresh.  "The police didn't seem to give a damn.  They didn't believe us.  They thought I was a prostitute!  If Coach hadn't called the station and reported us missing . . . .

"After I was released from the hospital, Jim and I were called to the Prosecutor's Office; Coach went with us.  We wanted to know what had been done . . . what would be done to catch those guys . . . .  The prosecutor told us it was very unlikely that the guys would be caught.  I thought my descriptions of the them had been pretty good, but the prosecutor said that those descriptions could have fit any number of  kids in the area, and in spite of them being in a gang it was highly unlikely that any of them had records.  They would investigate, but . . . I could tell that nothing was going to happen.  Jim had been beaten; I had been raped, and you know what the prosecutor was most worried about?  Bad press!  The only reason he had called us in was because he was worried about what we'd tell the media.  With all the Olympic class athletes training in the area and the Games coming up, they didn't want it getting out that two gymnasts had been assaulted!"  

Tommy held her tighter, desperately wishing there was something more he could do.

For the first time since waking up, Kim looked directly at him.  "Now do you understand?" she asked bleakly.  "Now do you see why I was so afraid to tell you--why I was afraid that you and the others would turn your backs on me, too?"

"Yes."

"Zordon . . . the police . . . my mother . . . even Jim let me down!"

"Jim?  How did he . . . ?"

"After the attack, he wouldn't look at me or talk to me . . . .  He was so cold . . . it was like I no longer existed.  For a while, I thought he blamed me for what happened to him.  I just couldn't handle it.  I sacrificed everything to keep him alive--everything!  He never even said thank you.

"I tried not to be angry.  Stuff like this didn't happen where he was from.  The attack wasn't his fault, and it wasn't his fault he wasn't a fighter like I was.  I could see him being scare; I mean, he almost got his throat slit.  I tried to be patient and understand--even after I found out about the baby and lost my mother.  I guess after I knew I couldn't compete anymore, I put all my medal hopes on him.  I thought, maybe, if he could make the team and have a shot at a medal that I wouldn't feel so bad.  That it wouldn't have been for nothing--you know?"

Tommy knew what was coming.  He didn't need to see her brimming eyes or quivering lip.

"Jim didn't even go to the trials.  He withdrew--never even tried.  He just packed up and went home.  I couldn't believe it.  I did it all for nothing . . . nothing!"

Kim's rage and bitterness overwhelmed her again, and all Tommy could do was hold her until she cried herself out.  She sobbed for a long, long time.

Dawn's first light was peeking through the curtains when Kim finally exhausted herself and fell asleep.  Only then did Tommy allow himself to vent his emotions until he, too, fell into an exhausted, uneasy sleep.


	3. Part III: Back To School

Part 3 - Back To School

_"Kim, you can't go to a job interview--even at a gym--in a leotard and sweats.  You need to get yourself a suit."_

"Ooh, I hate it when he's right," Kim muttered as she glanced through the skirts and blazers.  She had received word that the USGF had received her application and were processing it.  It didn't mean she'd be granted the license, but Tommy told her to think positively.

_"How can they not give it to you?  Two of the girls you worked with earned Pan Global medals, and with Coach Schmidt's recommendation . . . .  Didn't you say he was the biggest name in gymnastics since Bela What's-his-name?"_

Kim shook her head, smiling wryly.  Tommy had changed so much over the years.  She remembered the days when he was racked with doubt and guilt over what Rita had done and made him do . . . how insecure he had been in spite of his martial arts abilities.  Back then, she had been the one brimming with confidence for them both.  Now, their roles were reversed.

She had to admit that Tommy was doing a pretty good job of buoying her spirits.  Ever since the night he had gotten her to open up . . . .  She hadn't meant to tell him everything; however, once the words started coming, she just couldn't stop them as if her pain, anger, and bitterness couldn't be contained any longer.

She had been terribly afraid of how Tommy would react.  After all, her mom couldn't deal with the truth, and the bond between mother and child was supposed to be one nothing could break.  Tommy had far less reason to stand by her, considering what she had done to him.  Yet, he had been there for her.  He had even held her, although she couldn't imagine that he'd ever want to again, knowing that she was . . . well, tainted.  At the time, part of her couldn't stand the thought of him touching her, but part of her was glad that he hadn't let go.  When she woke up the following morning, she half expected to find herself in some shelter or out on the street.  She'd never been so happy to see the as-yet-unfamiliar ceiling in Tommy's spare bedroom.  All that day, she and Tommy had been uneasy--sort of walking on egg shells around each other--but they had gotten through the awkwardness.  To be honest, Kim was grateful to have everything out in the open at last.   It was as if she had been hiding something from Tommy--that she'd been lying to him--and she couldn't stand the thought of lying to Tommy anymore.

_The question is, where do we go from here?_ she mused as she pulled a skirt from the rack.  Black--too severe, and navy just didn't do much for her.  She spied a charcoal grey pinstripe on the mannequin; that looked promising.  She supposed she could see what they had in the way of suits, but those were pretty expensive, and Tommy was footing the bill--which rankled her.  She had always managed on her own before; so her credit card was maxed out--it wasn't the first time that had happened.  She and Olivia generally did without until she could pay some of it off.  But now she was in a situation where putting things off couldn't be done: school fees.

In Florida, Olivia had another year before starting Kindergarten; but in Angel Grove, she just made the birthday deadline.  Tuition, a doctor's visit to make sure her immunization records were up to date, school clothes, supplies . . . .  Kim just couldn't let Tommy pay for everything, although he had offered, so she had taken a job at McDonald's--the morning crew.  That was the most feasible with Tommy's school hours, and she'd be home in time to take Olivia to school.  She couldn't believe how ridiculously pleased she had felt when she received her first meager check and was able to put it towards the September tuition payment.

_Separates are fine,_ Kim told herself, _and a lot more reasonable than a suit._  Besides, who would know the difference?  It wasn't as if she were applying for a job as a secretary to the president of Merchant's National Bank.  As she looked the grey skirt over again, she found she really liked it.  Now, if they only had it in her size . . . .

As Kim located the proper size and went about selecting a blouse, her thoughts turned back to her questions.  Where did she and Tommy go from here?  Where did she want them to go?  She knew she couldn't depend on Tommy indefinitely; she'd been on her own too long to let him take care of her like that.  Olivia was _her_ responsibility and no one else's--as her mother had so forcefully pointed out.  _You didn't think I could handle the responsibility, well, guess what, Mom.  My daughter and I have done just fine on our own, thank you very much,_ she reflected tightly.  Yet, she had to confess that it was nice to have a little back up . . . nice not to have to be strong all the time.

Still, she was very much confused by Tommy.  Why had he done all this?  Was it merely out of the goodness of his heart--being a knight on a white horse again?  Surely, he'd have done as much for Jason or any of the others.  Or could it possibly be that he still cared?  She couldn't see how.  She had lied to him--hurt him; she'd had another man's baby . . . .  She wasn't the Kimberly he had loved once upon a time, but she still loved him--she had never stopped.  She wanted to reach out to him as she once did, but she was afraid to.  What if he thought her feelings stemmed from gratitude for what he'd done for her and Olivia?  She didn't think she could bear to be hurt--betrayed--again, especially by Tommy.   If she wanted to be totally honest with herself, she had to wonder if she loved Tommy for who he was now or the young man he used to be.  She couldn't say for certain, but she did know that she loved him enough to know that she couldn't love him the way he'd like her to--the way she used to.  The risk was too great.  

Blinking back gathering tears, Kim tried to focus on the blouses.  The white ones really didn't appeal; they all looked so . . . practical.  Which, she supposed, was exactly what was wanted for a job interview.  However, her attention wandered over to a rack of pastel colored blouses.  She found one in pink with an attractive lace collar and cuffs and immediately fell in love with it.  There was even one left in her size . . . .

_No.  I'm not shopping for pleasure--this is business!_ she scolded herself.  With a sigh, she put it back.

"That would look darling on you," someone said, startling Kim.  She looked around for a sales clerk but instead saw a familiar looking woman with blue eyes and brown hair cut in a short wedge.  The woman's smile was warm and friendly.  "Hello, Kim."

"Maggie, right?" Kim said, finally placing the woman Tommy had introduced her to at the laundromat.

"That's me.  How are you and the little one settling in?"

"We're getting along all right."

"Pretty big adjustment, huh.  I remember when I first moved to Angel Grove."

"Well, I pretty much grew up here."

"That's right; Tom said you went to school with him," Maggie continued.  Kim was a little surprised by her statement.  When had Tommy gotten a chance to talk to Maggie about her?  Surely not at the laundromat; there hadn't been an opportunity for a prolonged conversation.

"By the way, how's Tom adjusting to having two new roommates?"

Kim wasn't sure how to answer; she wasn't sure if she should.  She didn't really know Maggie, and it wasn't any of the other woman's business.  Yet, Tommy had called her friend and obviously trusted her.  

"I'm sorry," Maggie apologized quickly.  "That's between you and Tom.  I tend to forget that he's not one of my students that needs looking after.  It's just that Chris really looks up to him--sort of an older brother figure . . . ."

"I can see that," Kim agreed, disturbed to be so relieved that Maggie's interest was mostly maternal. "He's handling things better than I expected.  If it had been me alone, it would have been a big enough adjustment, but with Olivia, too . . . ."

"If you don't mind my asking, how is she adjusting to him?  The impression I got from Tom was that she's never really had a father figure in her life before."

Amazingly, Kim didn't find the question all that intrusive.  She had this sense that in some ways, she and Maggie were kindred spirits. "There was Coach, but I think he really intimidated her.  Olivia absolutely adores Tommy."

"You sound surprised.  Tom is great with children."

Tommy was right about one thing, Kim found it very easy to talk to Maggie.  "I know; it's just that . . . ."  She struggled to find the right words.  ". . . well, she's never warmed up to another adult like this--male or female.  She's always been rather shy around them."

Maggie nodded.  "Kids have a way of knowing.  My daughter Kelly was like that.  She couldn't stand most men--her father included--but my brother whom she rarely saw, she just adored him."

Kim smiled, grateful to find someone who understood.  While she tried to formulate a reply, her attention drifted back to the blouse.  It was just the right shade of pink, too: not too pale but not fuchsia either.  She ran her finger under the edge of the collar and sighed wistfully.

"It really is a pretty blouse," Maggie agreed, to Kim's embarrassment at having let her attention wander.  "I love frilly things, but they don't love me.  I look ridiculous in lace, and pink doesn't flatter me at all."

"I see you in dark colors--rusts, forest greens, plums," Kim murmured.  She tore her gaze from the garment.  "However, this isn't exactly the sort of thing for a job interview."

"I don't know.  I think it's perfect.  The suit says 'I mean business' and the blouse says, 'but I'm a woman, too.  Deal with it.'"

Kim had to smile at that.

"I thought you already had a job; wasn't that you in the drive through the other morning at the McDonald's on Tenth Street?"

"Yes," Kim admitted sheepishly.  "It's only temporary--something to cover expenses until I can find something more permanent."

"I'm glad to hear it.  You're too bright to waste away in a burger joint, but the job market is rather tight right now.  What are you looking to get into?"

Before Kim could answer, the two were interrupted by a high-pitched squeal--the kind only an excited pre-teen girl was capable of making.  The blonde-haired, blue-eyed twelve year old was standing there gaping at the pair in utter disbelief.

"Kelly," Maggie admonished.  "What are you gawking at?"

"Mom, it's _her_!" Kelly gulped in an awed whisper.

"Her who?"

"You mean you don't know?  That's Kimberly Hart!"

Kim's eyebrows climbed.  Maggie's daughter was acting like she was somebody famous.

"I know who she is.  Tom introduced me to her a couple of weeks ago."

"Don't you get it, Mom?  She's the one who was discovered by that famous coach and went to train with him in Florida!  She's the reason lots of girls got into gymnastics," Kelly explained breathlessly.

Kim couldn't believe it.  Kelly looked up to _her_?  But she hadn't _done _anything . . . she hadn't won a medal . . . she hadn't even made it to the trials!  Yet Kelly was acting as if she was some kind of hero--something she hadn't felt like since leaving the Rangers.

"I remember now," Maggie declared.  "You created quite a stir by being invited to train with such a renowned coach."

_That was just pure chance,_ Kim wanted to say.

"Can I have your autograph?" Kelly gushed.

"S-sure . . . I guess so," Kim fumbled.

"Great . . . oh!  I gotta find a piece of paper!"  With that, Kelly bounded off.

"I'm really sorry about this, Kim," Maggie sighed.  "I hope she hasn't embarrassed you too much."

"Not really, but I don't understand.  I'm nobody important," Kim demurred.

"You were the Cinderella of the gymnastics scene: unknown gymnast with nothing but talent going for her discovered by world famous coach . . . .  It's the sort of thing all little girls dream of--whatever the interest.  The local teachers and coaches really hyped it:  the see-what- hard-work-will-get-you angle."

"Yeah, but the clock struck twelve, and the magic went away," Kim said with a heavy sigh.

"A lot of folks wondered what happened when you didn't make the team," Maggie put forth delicately.

Kim knew that people who had known her were bound to wonder, but she wasn't quite prepared for a total stranger to ask.  For several uncomfortable moments, Kim couldn't find her voice.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to pry," Maggie said at last.

"It's all right; I just don't . . . ."  As Kim floundered for an explanation, she could see Maggie doing the math.  It didn't take a genius to figure out that if she had a five-year-old daughter, she would have had to have been pregnant at the time of the trials.

"Oh," was Maggie's only comment.  Further awkwardness was spared by Kelly's return.  It appeared as if she had raided the trash by one of the cash registers.  Kim rummaged through her purse for a pen.

"Omigosh, I just can't believe it!" Kelly bubbled, and Kim heard echoes of herself in the girl's tone.  "Betsy and Jessica are never going to believe this!"

"There you go, Kelly," Kim said, returning the scrap of paper.

"What brings you back to Angel Grove?" Kelly wondered.  "I remember reading an interview with Coach Schmidt where he said that his best gymnast had to withdraw from the trials due to an unexpected medical condition; that was you, wasn't it?"

Kim wasn't sure how to respond.  She never recalled Coach making any statement about her withdrawing from the competition.

". . . and last year, before the Nationals, I remember one of the sportscasters saying that you were helping train Linda Garrett--our best hope at the next Olympics," Maggie's daughter rattled on; Kim found her better informed about the doings of the sport than she ever was.  "Have you come home to coach girls here?"

"If you'd let the poor woman get a word in edgewise, you might get an answer," Maggie muttered sarcastically; her comment seemed to have gotten through because the girl blushed sheepishly.

"That's all right," Kim said.  Actually, she was grateful to Kelly; she had helped her explain away a very difficult situation.  "Yes, I'm hoping to find a coaching position here . . . ."

"That's so cool!"

"Although, I think I might like to work with younger girls--the beginners--rather than would-be Olympians.  Not every girl has the desire or talent to be a world-class athlete, and so much is lost when coaches focus only on those who do."

"We could definitely use someone like that," Maggie agreed.  "Most of the gymnastic schools around here are looking for the next Mary Lou or Shannon Miller."

"Miss Julie isn't," Kelly interjected.  "She's my teacher, and she's great.  She really cares about the girls--and not just because they can do flips and stuff.  She just bought out Olga's school...."

"Hitler's little sister isn't coaching anymore?" Kim queried, greatly surprised.

"You didn't like her either, I take it," Maggie noted with amusement.

"She's why I didn't continue with a gym, just with the teams at school," Kim explained.  "There weren't too many choices back when I was first taking lessons.  It was either her place or driving to Stone Canyon."

"Olga got a chance to work at one of the major training centers back east," Kelly said.  "She took a bunch of her staff with her.  Miss Julie bought her out and is trying to merge the two schools."

"Which hasn't been easy; both places had very different philosophies," Maggie added.  "It wouldn't hurt to look into it."

"I will.  Thank you."

"Now, I think we've pestered Kim long enough," Maggie decided.  "Your brothers are probably wondering where we've gotten to, and we still haven't found Michael's shoes . . . .  Last minute school shopping, don't you love it?"

"Aw, Mom . . . ." Kelly pouted.

"We'll see you around, Kim."

"Sure, Maggie.  It was good seeing you again.  Nice meeting you, Kelly."

"Bye!  Oh man, Betsy and Jess are going to die . . . !"

Kim watched the pair leave and shook her head in disbelief.  However, it had been a very useful conversation.  Then, she turned back to the rack.  Without a second thought, she picked up the lacy pink blouse.

_Didn't Tommy say she was a guidance counselor at the school?  She'd know stuff about going to job interviews--wouldn't she?_

Kim placed her purchases on the counter and somewhat guiltily handed the clerk Tommy's Sears card.

* * *

Olivia was scared; Kim could feel it in the tiny girl's grasp as Olivia, Tommy and herself approached Northside Elementary.  They had taken a tour of the school and grounds when they had registered, so the place wasn't completely unfamiliar, and it didn't resemble a prison with barred windows and visible police patrols to control the violence as the school near the gym had.  Still, Kim couldn't blame her daughter; she was scared for her.  Olivia had never been around other children much--had never attended daycare or preschool . . . .  Kim had tried to make certain that Olivia had learned her letters and numbers; she could recognize and write her own name.  She recalled how the athletes complained whenever they had down time to watch television in the lounge only to find it usurped by Olivia as she drank in all that the Sesame Street crew had to offer.

"Do I have to go, Mommy?" Olivia queried anxiously, warily eyeing the screaming throngs of kids playing on their lunch breaks.  She was enrolled in the afternoon session, which worked all right with Kim and Tommy's present work schedules.  It remained to be seen what would happen if Kim got a coaching job.

_When, not if,_ Kim reminded herself to think positively.  She looked down into Olivia's worried eyes as her daughter tugged on her braids.  "Yes, Sweetie, all five year olds have to go to Kindergarten."

"But I'm not five yet."

Kim wanted to laugh; that was just the opposite of Olivia's usual assertion, "but I'm almost five already!"

"You'll do just fine, Princess," Tommy assured Olivia.  He had decided to open the studio a little later than usual so he could be there to see Olivia off on her first day; he had seemed so pleased to have been asked to come along.  Kim hadn't considered not inviting him; Olivia had wanted him there so badly.  Plus, there was the more practical matter in that he was on the list of people able to pick Olivia up from school.  He'd have to know where to meet her and so forth.

As they arrived at the Kindergarten classroom, they found it a hive of activity: boisterous children running about, parents bidding tearful children good-bye . . . .

"Here's your cubby," Kim pointed out, recalling what they'd been shown during the orientation meeting.  As more of the parents filed out, she noticed that the children had separated themselves into two groups: the noisy ones who seemed to know each other already and the quiet ones who had probably never been away from home before.  She wondered if that was the group Olivia would gravitate towards.

"Poor little thing," she heard Tommy murmur, and she glanced over to see who had caught his attention.  A little Asian girl with wide black eyes and straight, blue-black hair was sitting all alone at a table in the corner.  For some reason, even the shyer children were pointing at her, whispering, and laughing.

"I wonder what's up," Kim remarked, her heart going out to the tot.

"She looks sadder than me," Olivia whispered.

"She probably doesn't know anyone here either," Tommy surmised.

"She doesn't have any friends?" was Olivia's concerned query.

"It looks that way."

"Do you think, maybe, it'd be okay if I said, 'hi' to her?"

"I think that would be very nice of you," Kim agreed, a smile of pride tugging at her lips as she watched Olivia make a beeline for the table.

"We should probably get going," Tommy said softly.

"Just a minute.  I just want to see . . . ."  Kim noted that as Olivia drew closer to the table, she became a little more cautious.

"Um . . . hi," Olivia ventured uncertainly.

"Hello," the girl replied with equal hesitation.  She seemed surprised that Olivia was speaking to her.

"My name's Olivia.  What's yours?"

"Min."

"How come you're all by yourself?  Don't you know anyone?"

"No, we just moved here."

"Oh, me, too."

"Hey!" a little boy with wild-looking blond hair interrupted the pair.  He tried to pull Olivia away.  "You don't want to play with _her_," he sneered.

"Why not?" Olivia demanded, sounding very put out.  Kim had to do her best not to laugh out loud.

"What are you, stupid or something?  Didn'tcha see her legs?  She can't even walk!" 

Olivia peered under the table; from where she stood, Kim glimpsed the metal braces on the girl's leg.  She had to resist the urge to slap that boy silly.  She noted that even Tommy looked upset with him.

"I can so walk!" Min protested, then she seemed to back down.  "I was sick for a long time; I'm just not strong enough to walk without them yet."

"No ya can't!"

"Quit being dumb and go away," Olivia declared imperiously, glaring at the little boy.  "You leave my friend alone . . . ."

"Make me!" the boy challenged.

"Robert . . . ." the teacher called out, and the boy scurried off.

"Do you mean that?" Min queried.  "Am I really your friend?"

"Sure . . . ."  Olivia took a seat, and the two embarked on an animated conversation.

"Kim . . . ." Tommy prompted a second time, gently nudging her towards the door.  Still, Kim only had eyes for the scene at the far table.  "Class is going to be starting.  Olivia will be fine."

"I know," Kim sighed, sniffling, and Tommy handed her a Kleenex.  She paused in the doorway for one last look, dabbing at her tearing eyes.  She noticed that the teacher sat Robert down at the table with Olivia and Min.  Olivia glared at him coldly, and he sat as far away from the duo as possible.

"If I was Robert, I'd watch myself," Tommy said with a laugh.  "You know, in a way, seeing Olivia and Min together makes me think of you and Trini and what you must have been like at this age."

"Trini and I didn't meet until we were in third grade," Kim replied.  "Oh God, Tommy, she's not a baby anymore, is she?"

"She'll always be your baby."

"She didn't even say good-bye . . . ." and Kim completely gave up on trying to maintain her composure.  After going through several more Kleenex--with which Tommy was conveniently and amply supplied--she finally settled down.  "I feel ridiculous!  I'm making a bigger fuss than some of the kids."

"You're not the first mom to lose it on the first day of school, nor will you be the last," Tommy teased gently, handing over yet another tissue.

"How'd you know I'd need these?" Kim wondered as she blew her nose.

"Mom forewarned me," Tommy revealed.  "She told me that she was a blubbering idiot my first day of Kindergarten."

"_Your_ mother?"

"Hard to imagine, huh?  So I figured if the tough-as-iron drill sergeant was reduced to tears, an ol' softie like you wouldn't stand a chance."

"Oh, you . . . ." she scolded playfully.

"Anyway, you need to settle down before your mascara starts running.  You don't want to look like a total wreck on your job hunt this afternoon."

"I'm a nervous wreck just thinking about it," Kim gulped.

"Don't be.  You'll knock their socks off," Tommy assured her.  Kim gave him a guarded "we'll see" smile.  "Are you sure you don't want the truck?"

"Yes.  I'm not insured to drive it.  Besides, you may wind up having to pick up Olivia."  As much as Kim wanted to be there when the day was done--as much as she wanted to hear every breathless detail about the day as soon as her daughter was out of school and in her arms again--she had to allow for the possibility that she might get tied up somewhere.

"I know how much you want to be there; you will if you can," Tommy reminded her.  "I'll be here when school lets out; if you're not, we'll wait for a while before heading back to the studio."

"Thanks for helping out, Tommy," Kim said appreciatively.  "I know this is really messing up your schedule . . . ."

"It's my pleasure.  Thanks for letting me be here today; the first day of school is pretty special after all."  He flashed her a smile which she timidly returned.  "You'd better get going now.  Good luck."

"Thanks."

For a moment, it seemed as if Tommy was going to give her a kiss on the cheek for luck, and it left Kim feeling cold inside when he didn't.

*

Kim glanced at her watch as she gathered herself for her last visit of the afternoon.  It was much later than she had anticipated; school was long over.  She was a little envious that Tommy would have already been regaled with the events of the day and she was relegated to the second telling--after the excitement had faded.  Oh well, it was par for the course.  Thus far, her afternoon had been a total bust.  The smaller schools weren't hiring--they wouldn't even look at her résumé.  She had missed her bus--twice--and put more miles on her pumps than she had ever intended.  Footsore and heartsore, she made her way to the Angel Grove Gymnastics Center--Julia Martinelli, owner.

A powerful sense of deja vu washed over her as she stepped into the vestibule.  She could remember being eight years old and starting classes here for the first time.  She'd been so excited, so full of hopes and impossible dreams . . . .  She could scarcely stand still, and she certainly hadn't caught the cold, serious atmosphere which had filled Madame Olga's gymnasium.  She only became aware of that months later when her beloved acrobatics had ceased to be fun and had become work.

What struck Kim the most once the memories subsided was the tension in the air, but it had nothing to do with the fear/respect for the iron-fisted mistress who had formerly governed the gym.  It was a sense of uncertainty, of great upheaval.  It was late enough in the afternoon that the serious gymnasts--those who had dreams of competing at the national and world level--were hard at work.  Although, Kim also saw a group of what would be considered more casual students--ones who only came for lessons once or twice a week.

_Kelly said things were in transition here,_ Kim reminded herself as she made her way to the front office.

"May I help you?" the receptionist, a plump, fifty-ish woman with a silvery braid coiled about her head, queried as she entered.  The plate on the desk read Darlene.

"I was wondering if you were accepting applications for employment."

Her question caught the woman by surprise.  "You want to apply for a job?"

"Yes, I coached in Florida and recently moved back to Angel Grove," Kim elaborated.  "I realize no ad appeared in the paper, but I hoped to fill out an application and leave my résumé."  She tried to hide her anxiety as the receptionist considered her words.  She tried to draw hope from the fact that she hadn't said "no" yet.

"I suppose it couldn't hurt," Darlene decided.  "With all the craziness going on around here, there's no telling what we'll wind up needing."

"Thank you," Kim said, doing her best to keep her relief from being obvious.  She took a seat and quickly filled out the form.  After a nervous glance at her résumé and cover letter, she handed all the papers to the secretary.

"I can't promise you anything . . . ." Darlene cautioned.

"I know.  A chance is all I can ask for.  Thank you."  Kim shook the offered hand and was about to leave when she paused in the doorway.  "The only restrooms are the ones in the locker room, correct?" she asked.

"Yes.  Were you a student here?" Darlene wondered.

"About twelve years ago."  As Kim made her way towards the rear of the facility, she passed a tall, slender woman with a Mediterranean complexion and features who was headed towards the office.

"Who was that?  Mother of a prospective student?" the woman asked the receptionist.

"Would you believe a prospective coach?"  Darlene handed her employer the paperwork.

"Kimberly Hart?"  Julia Martinelli frowned.  "Why do I know that name . . . ?"

*

_It looks as if they haven't painted this place since I left here,_ Kim mused as she pushed the locker room door open; somehow she had expected more physical changes to go along with the ideological ones.  

". . .  I wish I had taken Diane up on her offer to go to L.A. with her.  I'm certainly not going to get anywhere staying here," Kim heard someone complain.

"At least it's not as bad as it used to be," a second woman pointed out.  "We have more freedom and creativity . . . no more regimented 'Iron Block' stuff."

Neither woman had noticed Kim's entry.  She caught a glimpse of the pair; they couldn't have been much older than she was.  They sounded like full time coaches, but they were most likely Kinesiology or Sports Rec majors from AGU interning with the gym or unable to find employment after graduation.  She remembered a few assistants in that category during Olga's regime: young women who had competed at the high school and collegiate levels but who had no clue what the world of gymnastics was really like.  But for Coach Schmidt, she might have been just like them.

"It's not that," the first one, a brunette, countered.  "It's having to deal with the babies--the amateurs."

"The ones who are into gymnastics because they're the hot thing at the moment or because their mothers want them to learn coordination . . . ." her red-headed companion said.

". . . and the dance schools won't touch them.  Like that clod Hunzinger.  God, can you picture _her_ in pink tights and a tutu?  I think an elephant in toe shoes would be more graceful."

"Come on; we'd better get out there," the red head interjected, looking at her watch.

"I want to work with some serious athletes . . . girls with talent, who are going some place, not someone who can barely walk and talk at the same time," the brunette continued grousing.

"It's not so bad.  What do you have your class on today?"

"Beam . . . oh Lord!  I just realized . . . .  If that kid starts blubbering when she can't even stand on the damn thing, so help me . . . ."

The girls left without ever noticing Kim.  The whole episode left a bad taste in her mouth.  If these were the sort of coaches she'd be working with . . . .  She didn't know if she could handle them.  _Too much like Curtis_, she reflected; she had butted heads with him often while at Coach Schmidt's facility.  Technically, he was superb; however, he was more interested in riding an athlete's coattails to glory.  He didn't know how to treat the young women like human beings instead of cartwheeling cogs in a machine, and he had no patience for those who couldn't grasp his instructions on the first run through.

Kim could understand their frustration--with the girls, with their situation--but there was no need to be so cruel.  She had known her fair share of difficulties with her athletes, but she never aired them in the locker room . . . the one place an athlete was sure to overhear . . . .  As if on cue, Kim heard a stifled sob from one of the stalls.  Shaking her head in anger at the callousness of the instructors and in pity for the girl, she walked over to the door and knocked on it lightly.

"You can come out now; they're gone," she said in her friendliest tone.  She heard the girl sniffling and snuffling, trying to compose herself.  Slowly, the door opened and out stepped a girl that Kim judged to be ten or so.  She was a little on the hefty side, but that was mostly still "baby fat."  She had a large frame, and if she shot up a couple of inches, she'd have carried her weight just fine.  Her dusty blonde hair was cropped harshly; her freckled cheeks were blotchy, and her red-rimmed eyes were a sort of washed-out blue.  Kim said nothing as she wet a paper towel and handed it to the youngster.

"Are you all right?" she queried kindly.  The girl snuffled and nodded.  Kim fished a Kleenex out of her purse.  "What's your name?"

"Lucy H-Hunzinger," she stammered, her gaze fixed firmly on her feet.

Kim had suspected as much.  "I'm Kim.  Would you like to sit down and talk about it?"

"What's to talk about?  I always knew Katie laughed at me behind my back--like the other kids do--I just never heard her before."

"Why does everyone laugh?"

"'Cause I'm fat and clumsy, and I can't do anything right."

"How old are you, Lucy?"

"Eight.

Kim did her best to hide her surprise; Lucy really was big for her age.  She tried to think of the best way to approach the girl.  However, she remembered how little comfort her mother's reassurances had given her at Lucy's age.

"Kid's never change," Kim sighed to herself.  What would she say to Olivia in this situation?  "Do all the kids laugh--even your friends?  Your family?"

"No."

"I know it seems important to fit in with everyone else, but the truth is, you can't always do that no matter how much you may want to.  You have to be strong enough to ignore everybody else and concentrate on those people who really matter: your family, your friends, and yourself."

"Easy for you to say," Lucy muttered bitterly.  "I bet you were never teased."

"Let's see . . . midget, shrimp, string bean, klutz, air head, crybaby . . . . You want to be small and thin?  I wanted to be tall and blonde," Kim confessed.  "However, I figured out that wasn't going to happen, so I had two choices: I could be miserable or I could accept who I was and make the most of it.  It was easier to be miserable but not much fun."

"How'd you do it--make the most of being short and stuff?" Lucy wondered.

"I learned to have confidence in myself."

Lucy's face fell.  "I _knew_ you were going to say that."  

"Gaining confidence in yourself is the hardest thing in the world," Kim agreed.  _Regaining it after you lost it is even harder!_  What could she possibly say to this girl?  "Does your family believe in you?"

"I guess so."

"What about your friends?"

"They say they do?"

"But you don't believe them, do you?  Do you think they're lying to you?  Why would they do that?"

"Because they don't want to hurt my feelings."

"Would they really let you do something stupid just to spare your feelings? You know, it's just possible that they see something in you that you can't; you have to look inside and see if you can find it for yourself."

Kim smiled encouragingly at Lucy, who looked up at her with such hope in her eyes as if she really wanted to believe her words.  Kim was suddenly struck by how much Lucy reminded her of herself.

_Listen to yourself,_ an inner voice chided.  _How can you sit here and tell this child to trust her family and friends when you refused to listen to yours? _ _Your self-confidence was all but destroyed, and you shut out the people who believed in you.  You refused to listen to them or trust them.  You still don't believe that they can see anything good in you . . . ._

_I want to believe . . . ._ Kim protested, trying to convince herself.  Then why couldn't she let herself trust Tommy?  Why couldn't she look inside and see what it was that he saw in her?  _I'm afraid there's nothing to see._

Then how could she tell this girl that there was?

"Kim?" Lucy prompted.  Kim gave herself a mental shake and pulled her attention back to the matter at hand.__

"Others may see something in you, but all their beliefs won't do a bit of good if you don't believe in yourself," Kim continued, as much for Lucy's benefit as her own.  "That's the hard part--learning to believe in yourself.  It'll take a lot of work, but you can do it."

"I want to believe what they say . . . ." Lucy ventured hesitantly.

"But you won't believe it until you have proof," Kim finished for her.  "So, I guess the thing we have to do here is prove to yourself that you can do it."

"Do what?"

"Well, how about crossing that balance beam?  I'm sure if you looked deep inside, you could find the confidence you need to take that first small step," Kim said as she hopped up off the bench.

*

Ten minutes later, the door creaked open, and a girl with cocoa-colored skin and corn rowed hair popped her head in.

"Lucy, you'd better get your butt out here quick!  It's almost your turn, and Katie isn't in a real good mood," she reported.

Lucy looked up at Kim in panic.

"Hey, you can do it.  I know you can.  You know you can.  Just think of it as a walk in the park to your favorite song, and you'll be across that beam in no time.  You'll see," Kim assured her.

"I'll try," Lucy gulped.

"That's all anyone can ask of you."

"Thanks, Kim."

"Anytime, hon."

Kim smiled as Lucy hurried out; she was really tempted to watch, but she had put off her reason for visiting the locker room long enough.  

She emerged a short while later, and had apparently just missed Lucy's turn.  Judging from the girl's beaming face and the high fives she was giving her friend, Kim figured she must have done all right.

_So, do you think you can take your own advice?  Can you look inside and see what Tommy sees in you?  Can you take those first small steps towards what you want?_

Kim sighed.  It all came back to that: what did she want.

"Excuse me."

Kim turned to find a striking woman with deep brown eyes and hair and a wide smile approaching her.

"Ms. Hart?  I'm Julia Martinelli.  Darlene gave me your application; if you have a few moments, I'd like to discuss it with you."

*

" . . . again!  And one . . . two . . . three . . . ."

Kim quietly opened the door and slipped into the dojo.  She didn't want to disturb Tommy's class as she made her way to the office in the rear where she figured Olivia would be.  However, she spotted her daughter in the back of Tommy's class dutifully working on getting the punches correct.  Kim smiled at the intent expression on Olivia's face and decided to have a seat with the other parents waiting for their children.  It wasn't long before Tommy called a break.

"Mommy!" Olivia cried, racing toward her at top speed.

"Hi, Sweetie," Kim said, meeting the embrace head on and smothering her daughter in a hug.  "I'm sorry I missed being there after school."

"I know; it's okay.  Did you find a job?"

About that time, Tommy wandered over.

"How'd it go?" he queried.  "It was getting kind of late; I was getting worried.  Did you have any luck?"

"Well, I didn't exactly get a job, but something good happened," she replied.  "I'll explain it when you come up for dinner.  Right now, I want to hear all about somebody's first day of school.  Ready to come upstairs and help me make dinner?"

"No."

"No?"  The statement both startled and hurt Kim.   Olivia always wanted to do things with her.

"I wanna stay for the rest of class," Olivia announced.  "I wanna learn karate.  It's fun, and I'm doing real good.  Can I stay?  Please?"

Kim looked to Tommy, who shrugged.

"It's okay with me, if you have no objections.  She's not in the way, and she's been working on the moves since my beginners class earlier.  She's catching on very quickly."

"You don't have any homework, do you?" Kim asked helplessly.  She couldn't ever remember having homework in Kindergarten, but it was always a possibility.

"No, but I made this really neat picture for you!  It's in my backpack," Olivia reported.

"Well, if Tommy says it's okay, I suppose it's all right," Kim agreed, seeing Olivia's earnest desire shining in her eyes.

"Thanks, Mommy!"

"You be a good girl and remember that in class here, Tommy's your sensei--a teacher just like Mrs. Blackman."

"I will, Mommy; I promise."

"I guess I'll see you two at the dinner break," Kim said with a heavy sigh.  She took her leave as Tommy called the class back to order.

*

". . . and Bobby spilled the paint all over and had to take a time out and the rest of us had to go outside while Mrs. Blackman's helper--I can't remember his name--cleaned it up . . . ." Olivia jabbered.  Her dinner was still untouched, but Kim didn't care.  All that mattered were her daughter's shining eyes, bright cheeks, laughter and excited chatter.  Kim couldn't really tell that the events had happened over three hours ago and that this was the second telling.

"She left that part out earlier," Tommy noted.

"I forgot for a while."

"It's sounds like you had a pretty big first day of school," Kim observed.

"I was scared at first, but then it wasn't so bad.  I'm glad you sent me to Kindergarten.  I can't wait to see Min again tomorrow!"

"So, when do we get to hear your news?" Tommy queried.

"Tell us about your new job!" Olivia chimed in.

"Like I said, I didn't find a job yet, just a possibility," Kim began, and she skimmed through the details of the afternoon all the way through her encounter with Lucy.

"So what happened in your meeting with Ms. Martinelli?" Tommy prompted.

"She told me that she really wasn't looking for another instructor because enrollments were down, but she asked if I'd be willing to help her out with a presentation."

"Huh?"

"According to Julia, next week is Activities Week at Northside Elementary, and various organizations are doing demonstrations to show the kids what's out there for them--part of a program to keep kids off the streets and out of trouble.  I'd have thought that you'd be doing one--trying to get kids into martial arts."

"I am; only, there are several schools participating in the demonstrations.  Ours is Monday."

"The gymnastics center is doing its demo next Wednesday, and Julia asked if I'd be willing to address the students."

"That's great, but why?"

"Remember I told you about meeting Maggie and Kelly at Sears the other day?  I think it has something to do with that--the fact that I'm apparently still well known in Angel Grove gymnastics.  Julia seems to think that it might help generate some interest in the sport again if the kids could hear from someone who had had a shot at something as big as the Pan Globals."

"Are you going to do it?"

"I told her I'd think about it."

"I think you should," Tommy commented.  "You were always so good with the girls at the Youth Center, and you were always real enthusiastic about the sport.  Anyone could tell that you loved it."

"You know, I think I will," Kim decided.  "I keep thinking about Lucy's face this afternoon when she finally got across that beam.  She was so excited . . . so proud of herself, and I felt so good inside knowing that I had helped her if only a little bit."

"Maybe by talking to these kids, you can help others out, too."

"Maybe," Kim echoed, smiling.  "I'm going to call Julia right now . . . ."  As she hurried to the phone, her words to Lucy came back to her:  _"You'll never know until you take that first small step . . . ."_

* * *

"Nothing," Kim murmured as she checked the mailbox; the nice thing about an empty mailbox was that there were no bills.  She had enough of them as it was.   As she headed upstairs, she thought over the things she had to do that afternoon:  _laundry, take something out of the freezer for dinner, pick Olivia up from school . . . ._

Upon entering the apartment, she realized that the shower was running.  _What's Tommy doing home?  He's never home when I get back from taking Olivia to school,_ she mused.  Then she recalled that he had the demo at Northside that afternoon; he had gone down to the studio before she had left so he could take care of some paperwork.  He had also said something about working out.

It suddenly struck Kim that this was the first time that she and Tommy had ever been truly alone in his apartment.  If they were by themselves it was usually because Olivia was in bed.  The thought made her a little nervous.  She had never really been alone with a guy since _it_ happened.  She had always been careful not to find herself in that situation, but now . . . . 

_Get a hold of yourself!  You're being ridiculous.  Tommy probably figured you'd head straight for the laundromat.  He wouldn't *do* anything . . . he's always such a gentleman.  Nothing is going to happen,_ Kim assured herself as she made her way to the kitchen to get herself something to drink; however, she paused as she opened the refrigerator.  _I wonder if he uses his bathrobe when I'm not around._

Almost as soon as she completed the thought, she felt herself blushing.  What was the matter with her!  That was none of her business.  Although it had been weeks ago, she hadn't been able to rid her mind of the image of Tommy in nothing but a towel on that first morning.  The whole thing was very unsettling but not because she found Tommy barely dressed distressing.  Rather, she was intrigued and . . . well, kind of excited by it.  That's what she found most disturbing.  She hadn't thought of a guy like that in ages--she _couldn't_ let herself think of a guy as a man.  The only way she had been able to function around the men at the gym after the rape was to think of them in terms of family: father-figures, uncles, cousins . . . men who were safe.  She even tried to do that with Tommy by calling him her brother in the letter she had sent.

It surprised her that she could still think of a man like that, but then, Tommy had always been able to affect her in ways no one else could.  In a lot of ways, she was pleased to discover that she still found him attractive, but it also frightened and saddened her.  What was the point?  Tommy couldn't possibly see her as anything other than a friend, and resurrecting old dreams and desires would only make her miserable in the long run.

Sighing, Kim took her drink over to the kitchen table and sat down.  She discovered that Tommy had brought the mail up already.  She glanced through the envelopes.

_Tommy's . . . Tommy's . . . mine . . . ._

Once they were sorted, she found she had three bills and a letter from Florida.  Curious, she tore it open; it was from Sarah, one of the older gymnasts--asking after her and Olivia, telling her how everyone was doing . . . .  Kim felt her eyes growing moist.  She hadn't realized that anyone other than Coach would miss her.  She always rather liked Sarah.

As she started opening the bills, Kim noticed that she had knocked something on the floor.  Picking it up, she saw that it was a letter Tommy had opened and half-way tucked back into the envelope.  The first couple of lines caught her eye:

            _Dearest Tommy,_

_            By the time you receive this, the ballet company will have opened the _

_            new season.  I'm really looking forward to this year; we'll be traveling_

_            to Moscow and quite possibly America . . . ._

Kim immediately knew who it was from:  Kat.  She hadn't realized that Kat and Tommy were writing to each other; Aisha and Tanya had said that their relationship hadn't lasted, that they'd broken up when Kat had left for London.  Kim set the letter down.  She didn't want to pry; however, there was something else sticking out of the envelope: a photograph.  Numbly, Kim pulled it out.  The back read:  _Me, Michael, and Jamie at Kensington Gardens._  Turning it over, Kim's heart sank.  She had always thought that Kat had been pretty; now she was absolutely stunning.  She had lost weight, changed her make-up and hair . . . .  Kim hardly recognized her; if it hadn't been for the jewel-like blue eyes and the smile . . . .

_She's really beautiful!_

It wasn't difficult to picture her flowing across the stage with ethereal grace . . . poise . . . sophistication . . . .  In Kat's eyes Kim saw the spark of laughter and happiness of a carefree young woman, not the haunted, shadowed pools that looked back at her in the mirror every morning.

Kim put the picture back where she had found it.  _If Kat and Tommy broke up, why is she sending him letters addressed to "Dearest Tommy?"_  It was none of her business if Tommy and Kat were merely pen pals or still romantically involved; however, she couldn't help but feel envious of Kat.  She had a life Kim once dreamed of having.  As for Tommy, why shouldn't he have a girlfriend who was pretty, smart, and unburdened with the responsibility of a child--one whose soul wasn't scarred, someone who wasn't afraid of her own shadow . . . .

"Kim!" Tommy yelped, and Kim looked up to find him standing in the kitchen doorway wearing nothing but his bath towel.  He ran his hand up through his wet hair, and Kim tried not to stare as the water trickled down the well-defined muscles of his chest.  For a moment, neither said a word, and Kim could feel the fierce blush which scorched her cheeks.

"Sorry, but my robe's in the wash . . . from the mess at breakfast yesterday," Tommy murmured.

"Oh."  He'd been drenched when Olivia sent the container of orange juice skittering across the table.  Suddenly, Kim felt a flash of anger at herself.  Tommy didn't need to apologize to her; after all, this was his apartment!  He shouldn't have to make excuses to her.  

"I was just getting another cup of coffee," he continued.

_Get a grip, girl!  Tommy probably feels awkward enough as it is; stop staring and say something!_

"Um . . . nice towel," she ventured timidly, and she wanted to smack herself for saying something so lame.

Tommy cocked a curious eyebrow at her; she shrugged and offered him a shy grin, still blushing.  She wished he'd say something; his silence was unnerving.

"Do you think so?" he queried in a familiar teasing tone.

"You wear it well," she responded, trying to be as noncommittal as possible, but she couldn't help it that the corners of her mouth curved into a smile.

Tommy's eyes twinkled with mischief as he fully entered the kitchen.  He strutted back and forth for all the world like a runway model.  "Think I should give up karate and get into modeling bathwear?"

That provoked a giggle.  "I wouldn't give up your day job just yet," she teased, and he favored her with a mock pout.  The playful banter had come so easily to them; for a moment, it had seemed like old times.  However, Tommy's next words brought reality surging back.

"Did you see the mail?" he asked as he reached for the coffee pot.

"Uh huh."  Thinking of Kat's letter robbed Kim of her momentary good feeling.

"There's a letter from Kat you might like to see," he said.

"Oh?" She hoped she sounded nonchalant.  "I didn't realize Kat kept in touch with anyone other than Tanya."

"I get letters every now and then," Tommy answered off-handedly.  He gave her a lopsided grin.  "I'm still not a very good correspondent.  She says the ballet company will be in the States this season.  She hasn't been back here since she left."  Tommy leaned over Kim's shoulder, reaching for the letter.  Kim drew in a sharp breath as her senses swam with his sudden nearness and the scent of his aftershave.

"She sent a picture," Tommy went on, heedless of Kim's reaction, as he pulled out the photo.  "The other girl is Jamie, Kat's roommate, and Michael is Jamie's brother."

"Kat sure has changed," Kim murmured diffidently.

"Yeah, she sure has," was Tommy's distant answer, and Kim wondered at his tone.

"What's wrong?"

He shrugged.  "I dunno.  Sometimes I wonder . . . ah, it's nothing."

" . . . what it would be like if you hadn't broken up with Kat?" Kim asked before she even thought of what she was saying.  She braced herself for the words she knew would destroy what was left of her soul.

"How can you break up with someone you were never really with?" Tommy posited.

Kim tried not to look as astonished as she felt.  "I--I don't understand," she stammered.

"I just didn't feel for Kat what she felt for me," he confessed.  "It took me a while to admit it to myself--and even longer to tell her.  I didn't want to hurt her; fortunately, she understood."  Tommy gestured to the letter.  "It looks like letting Kat go was the best thing I could have done for her.  What I was wondering was why she still writes."

"Because she's your friend," Kim answered, gently touching his arm; there was a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Yeah, but we don't have much in common anymore.  She's gone to college . . . traveled the world . . . and what have I done?"

"You've driven a race car all over the country.  You've opened your own karate school," Kim pointed out.

"Do you realize that of all us former Rangers, you and I are the only ones who haven't gone to college?  Even Rocky has taken classes at AGU part time.  Jason wanted to open his own school, but his folks wanted him to go to college so badly . . . .  Now, he's in the Navy to help pay for school.  Adam and Tanya, Zack, Trini . . . we've all grown apart . . . ."

"I never realized . . . ." Kim began.

"Realized what?"

"That you're so dissatisfied.  You just seemed so happy with what you're doing."

Tommy considered her words.  "I am happy; I'm doing something I've always wanted to do, and I love working with the kids . . . ."

"Then I don't understand what's wrong."

"I guess I just didn't want things to change between us.  You--all of you guys--were the best thing to ever happen to me.  You guys are like family . . . ."

"Tommy, just because our lives have changed and we've gone our separate ways doesn't mean we're not friends.  We're still family.  We'll always be there for each other . . . ."  Then, Kim realized what she just said.  She felt her throat close up.

"You're right," Tommy responded quietly.  Kim's eyes flickered to his face and caught his gentle, knowing smile.  "I guess sometimes we get so wrapped up in things that we forget that."  There was no reprisal in his tone, only a soft reminder.

"Can I ask you something?" Kim queried suddenly.

"Anything."

"When we were younger, what did you always wish for?  What did you want out of life?"

Tommy gave her question serious consideration.  "I always thought I wanted to go to college.  I certainly never dreamed I'd pull a stint as a professional race car driver!" he admitted with a laugh.  Then, his demeanor sobered.  "I wanted my own martial arts school, and I always figured I'd get married and have a family I could really call my own."

His words brought to mind the time he had told her about being adopted.  He had talked about how he never really felt like he belonged, not so much with his folks--they couldn't have loved him more if they had been his biological parents--but with the other relatives.  There was just no connection, nothing he could really cling to.  And she had told him about her parents' divorce; in a lot of ways they had both felt as if they'd been cast adrift.

"Do you still want those things now?" she asked.

"Well, I have the school, and I found a brother I never knew I had.  I can always go to college later if I still want to.  As far as the rest, yeah, I'd still like to get married and have a family.  What about you?  You always wanted to be a teacher, didn't you?"

"Yes . . . ."

"And you'd once said you wanted marriage and a family, too.  Do you still want those things for yourself?"

"I think so," she confessed reluctantly.  

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know.  It's just that . . . I kind of doubt that stuff will ever happen."

"Why?  It's no big deal to wait a few years before starting college . . . ."

"Yeah, but . . . ."

"And I'm sure you'd have no problem finding . . . ."

Kim cut him off with a harsh chuckle.  In a moment of rare openness and honesty, she said, "I doubt any man would want me."

"Why not?" Tommy asked as if he found the idea absurd.

"Well, just look at me!  My life's a mess.  I'm a total wreck . . . ."

"I don't think so," Tommy said quietly.  "I think you're every bit as beautiful as when we were in school together."

"Yeah, right," Kim grumbled.  She glanced at the picture of Kat and fought to hold back her tears.  She couldn't look at Tommy.  However, he knelt beside her and tilted her chin up.

"Kim, you don't need to be tall and blonde to be beautiful," Tommy said with soft sincerity.  "You were always beautiful to me and not just because you had a great body and a pretty face.  What made you so attractive was that spark inside you--the joy you took in everything you did, in simply being alive--and you shared that joy with everyone.  That's what drew me to you as much as anything else about you: the warmth of your welcoming smile.  It chased away the cold fear and uncertainty of being the new kid at school.

"You may not believe it, but what happened to you didn't completely destroy the joy and warmth within you.  It's still there; I've seen it when you're with Olivia.  The way your eyes shine with love, pride and happiness when you look at her . . . that's how they used to shine, and they will again someday."

Kim desperately wanted to believe his words.  "Sometimes," she began softly, "I wish things could be the way they used to be.  I think I'd give just about anything to go back and tell Coach Schmidt 'no' like I nearly did, but then I think of Olivia, and I realize that if I did change the past it would mean losing her.  Oh Tommy, as much as I think I want to undo everything, I know I wouldn't because I can't bear to picture life without my daughter!"

"You don't have to.  You can't change the past, but you can still have all the things you had before and have Olivia, too.  It's just going to take time, patience and perseverance.  You've already made a start by not hiding behind the walls of the training center and coming home and by letting a friend back into your life to help.  Just don't give up trying, and you'll do it.  I know it!"

Kim felt a tear slip down her cheek.  Tommy was saying almost the same thing as she had said to Lucy.  "You really believe I can?" she ventured.

"Yes.  You were always the most determined person I had ever known.  When you set your mind on doing something, you went after it and didn't let anything stop you.  That's something else the rape didn't take from you.  You could have given up and crawled inside yourself and never come out again, but you didn't.  As bad as things got for you, you were determined to hang in there for your daughter and for yourself.  Kim, once you find your strength and courage again, you'll get back all those things you ever wanted for yourself: a career, a husband and family . . . ."

_A life with you,_ she almost said, but in spite of Tommy's pep talk, she knew she couldn't tell him that.  It was hard enough to admit to herself that that was something she still wanted.  Instead, she said, "For now, though, I think I'd settle for having my old family back."

"You really miss your mom, huh," Tommy noted, and Kim nodded.

"I wish she could see Olivia; I think she'd be so proud of her."

"I know she would be.  Maybe enough time has passed for the old hurt and anger to have faded."

"Maybe, but I'm afraid that if I try to reach out to her, she'll push me away again."

"Kim, if this is something you really want, you're going to have to take the risk and try.  You and your mom will get back together one of these days; just don't give up hope."

"I won't.  I thought I had lost that once, but I seem to have found it again."

"That's my girl," Tommy said, and Kim managed a brave smile as he gave her shoulder a light squeeze.  "Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I need to stop making puddles on the kitchen floor and finish getting dressed."

Kim watch as he exited the kitchen, grateful for his words of encouragement.  And as she watched him, she allowed herself another moment of self-honesty.  _He really does look good in that towel._

_* * *_

"Tommy, how come you're picking me up?" Olivia queried as Tommy arrived at her classroom.  She dashed forward and tackled him about the knees in an enthusiastic hug.  "Where's Mommy?"

"Your mom is giving a presentation today, remember?" Tommy replied, trying to keep from being knocked over.  Olivia was a regular little powerhouse when excited.

"Oh, yeah."  Olivia put her hand in his and practically dragged him out of the room and down the hallway.  "Does this mean I get to practice karate with your class today?"

"We'll see.  I'm supposed to do some belt tests today," he answered.

"Min was telling me that when she gets stronger, she's going to take karate.  Do you think she'll got to your school?"

"It's possible."

"I hope so!  I'd like to take karate with her.  She's my best friend," Olivia bubbled.  She came to an abrupt halt in front of a floor-to-ceiling bulletin board.  "See, there's my picture!" she noted proudly, pointing to a scene of a trio of stick people in the midst of a riot of green swirls.  All had long brown hair, but two were in skirts.  Tommy felt a grin twitching at the corners of his mouth.  "That's you, me, and Mommy in the park.  I even spelled my own name--just like Mommy taught me."

"That's wonderful, Princess.  Has your mommy seen this yet?"

"No, we just drawed them today."

"We'd better get a move on," Tommy informed Olivia as he scooped her up and deposited her on his shoulders--much to her delight.  "You know how crabby Kurt gets when I'm late."

"Do you think I could take karate classes with you all the time?" Olivia wondered.

"That's up to your mom.  Would you like to?"

"It'd be neat!"

Tommy already knew he'd enjoy having Olivia in class.  She was the sort of student he loved teaching: bright, willing to learn and willing to work hard.

As the two made their way down the hallway, they passed by the gymnasium which was unusually full for after school hours, and not just with kids.  There was a surprising number of parents in attendance.

"So that's where everybody went," Olivia said.  "What are they doing there?  Mrs.  Blackman asked me if I was supposed to go to the gym or stay in the classroom."

Tommy paused in the doorway and peeked in, noting the mats on the floor around the podium and a low practice beam.  At the moment, no one was at the microphone, but several girls and a couple of boys were doing their warm up stretches.  Tommy didn't see any sign of Kim, but he noticed a dark haired woman talking with Mr. Carter, the school principal.

"Is this Mommy's pre-sen-tation?" Olivia queried.

"Looks like it."

Just then, Mr. Carter approached the microphone to get the demonstration underway.  "Today for Activities Week, we'll get a closer look at the sport of gymnastics.  Here to show you what it's all about is Julia Martinelli and her students from the Angel Grove Gymnastics Center."  Polite applause followed.

"I don't see Mommy," Olivia pouted.

"Sh, Princess.  She's here somewhere; maybe she's in the locker room," Tommy hypothesized.

"Oh, look!  There's Mrs.  Maggie!" Olivia chirped.  Sure enough, Tommy followed the line of Olivia's arm and spotted Maggie sitting on the very end of the first row of bleachers.   For some reason, Olivia had trouble remembering Donovan, so she improvised on Maggie's name.  Without really thinking, he wandered over to where she was sitting.

"Hi, Mrs.  Maggie," Olivia said softly.

"Oh, hello Olivia, Tom," she greeted.  "I'd ask what you two were doing here, but it's pretty obvious."

"I was about to ask you the same thing," Tommy commented.  His eyes strayed to the center of the gym where the dark-haired woman had taken over center stage.

"I had to take off early to bring Kelly out here; she's one of the girls Julia asked to help out," Maggie explained.

"My mommy's gonna help, too," Olivia announced proudly.

"I know, Sweetheart," Maggie replied.  She smiled wryly at Tommy.  "It was all Kelly could talk about for the last week!"

"I can imagine."  Kim had told him about Kelly's case of near-hero worship.  "I hope Kim won't be too nervous."  She had been a veritable basketcase all morning.

"I see Mommy, Tommy!" Olivia declared.

Tommy looked up to see Kim standing in the doorway of the locker room.  She was wearing the Team USA warm-ups she had worn when she'd been on the sidelines with the girls at the Pan Globals.  She seemed perfectly composed; only one who knew her well could tell that she was nervous.

". . . now, I'd like to introduce our special guest . . . ." Julia continued, and Kim stepped out of the shadows.  Tommy found himself wishing he could have given her a hug for luck before she went out.  ". . .  Kimberly Hart!"  A rousing round of applause filled the room as Kim took the microphone.

"Thank you," she began.  "It's nice to be back in Angel Grove, and it's nice to be here today.  Why don't we start with some common misconceptions about gymnastics.  How many of you think gymnastics are just for girls?"

Tommy surveyed the sea of hands that went up.

"Gymnastics are for anyone: girls, guys . . . they do have a men's gymnastics team in the Olympics, you know.  How many of you guys think the guys who do gymnastics are sissies?" A ripple of laughter floated through the crowd.  "Don't ever let them hear you say that!  The outfits may look a little silly, but these guys are serious athletes and tremendously strong.  I've seen male gymnasts with bigger biceps than some baseball or basketball players.  "How many of you think only cheerleaders can do gymnastics?"

There were more hands up for that question than Kim's first one.

"Wrong again.  Lots of people can do gymnastics who aren't cheerleaders.  Other athletes like martial artists use them.  My friend Rocky can do a full split that'd make any female gymnast jealous . . . ."

Tommy felt himself resisting the urge to cross his legs.  He never could figure out how Rocky could do that; it hurt just thinking about it!

". . . and my friend Billy--he wasn't an athlete.  He was a brain--a genius in fact.  He took gymnastics when he was little to help with his coordination, and he could do some pretty amazing flips and handsprings into his Senior year in high school."

Tommy had always wondered how much of Billy's abilities had been his and how much had been from the power coins.  He had had some pretty awesome moves even after he had given up being an active Ranger.  Tommy could also see that talking about Rocky and Billy--her friends--was helping Kim relax.  She was really warming up to the crowd.

". . . and gymnastics aren't necessarily about doing a pike in a layout position with a half twist or whatever.  They can be as simple as doing a somersault properly . . . ."

Tommy felt himself smiling with pride for Kim; she was doing so well.  He hoped she'd be taking part in the demonstration and not just addressing the audience.

"Tom," Maggie prompted.

"Yeah?" he queried absently, his attention focused on Kim.

"I realize Kim is an engaging speaker, but don't you have a class to get to?"

"Huh?  Oh . . . um . . . yeah, I do."  Embarrassed by Maggie's knowing grin without even really knowing why, Tommy tried to cover by glancing at his watch.  "Oh man!" he groaned; he was going to be really late.  "Come on, Olivia.  We'd better get going.  We'll see you later, Maggie."  He cast a final look out at the center of the floor.

"Don't worry, Tommy; Mommy will tell us all about it when she gets home," Olivia consoled him as she trotted along after him.

*

Tommy was starting to get worried.  The demonstration was supposed to have been over at four o'clock; allowing for questions afterwards, tearing down and even helping return the equipment to the gymnastics center, she should have been home about 5:30 at the latest.  It was after six, and he wasn't the only one getting concerned.  Olivia was starting to get fussy.

"I'm hungry, Tommy," Olivia complained during the break.

"I know, but I don't think we have any leftovers for dinner.  How about I order us a pizza?"

"I want Mommy, Tommy; where is she?"

"She probably had a lot of things to take care of after the demonstration."

"We've been doing karate for a long time; I'm tired.  Can I sit down for a while?"

She'd been working right along with every class since they got to the studio.  "Of course, Princess."  

Class resumed, but Tommy couldn't keep his mind on what he was doing.  He was just beginning to think he was going to have to get in his truck and go looking for Kim when he heard Olivia's joyful cry of, "Mommy!"  He nodded for Kurt to take over.

"Hey, guys!" Kim said brightly.

"Where have you been?" Olivia demanded.

"We were starting to get worried," Tommy added.

"I'm sorry.  A lot of things happened this afternoon.  I saw you guys in the gym for a little while; what did you think?"

"You were doing great when we left," Tommy said.

"The whole thing was fantastic!  We even had volunteers from the audience come out and try a few things . . . .  It was a lot of fun," Kim gushed.

"What was the hold up?  Autograph seekers?" he teased.

"Some, but mostly parents wanting to talk to me and to Julia."

Tommy could tell by her ear-to-ear grin that something momentous had happened.  "So, what did they have to say?"  Whatever it was, she was wanting to relate  it in her own way; he didn't want to spoil anything, so he did his best to be patient.

"Mainly that they were impressed.  A lot of them asked if I was going to be teaching at the gymnastics center."

"What did Julia have to say about that?"

"Well, we talked afterwards, and . . . oh, Tommy!  The day I get my license is the day I start my job!"

"All right!" Tommy cheered, and he threw his arms around her in a congratulatory hug--a move that took them both by surprise.  There was an awkward moment when he released her, but it passed quickly.  "That's wonderful, Kim!"

"I can't believe it," Kim murmured, her face aglow; she could hardly keep still.  "I finally have a full-time job doing something I love."

"See, what did I tell you?  I knew you could do it," Tommy said quietly, thrilling in the fact that she was so genuinely happy.  It did him a world of good to see that smile--to know that she still could.

"I knew it, too, Mommy," Olivia piped up.

"Thank you both for believing in me," Kim added shyly, and Tommy had to resist the urge to pull her into his arms again.

"Now that you have a job, Mommy, can we go get something to eat?" Olivia insisted, to the merriment of both adults.

* * *

"Okay, Princess, what story would you like tonight?" Tommy queried as Olivia finished brushing her teeth.  He was putting Olivia to bed because it was Kim's first day at work, and she wouldn't be home until 8:30 or 9:00.  Fortunately it coincided with his night off from teaching.  They were going to have to sit down and work something out; most likely a babysitter was going to be needed.

"I don't want a story; I want my mommy," Olivia muttered as Tommy tucked her into her bed.

Tommy smiled sympathetically.  He knew it had to be hard on Olivia that Kim wasn't there to see her to bed like usual.  A lot of things would be changing with Kim's new job, and it would take Olivia awhile to adjust.  However, he felt there was more to Olivia's present mood than that.  She had been unusually subdued all afternoon--ever since he had picked her up from school.

"What's wrong, Olivia?" Tommy queried as he sat down on the edge of the trundle bed.

"I don't want to tell you," she replied glumly.  Tommy had already figured out the significance of that phrase.

"What happened at school today?" he probed further.  When Olivia tried to turn her back on him, Tommy plucked her out from under the covers and sat her on his lap.  "Something bad happened, didn't it?"

Olivia looked up at him as if amazed that he had figured it out, but she didn't answer.

"Won't you tell me?  You know, sometimes it helps makes things better to tell someone else--your mom, me, a friend . . . ."

"Did Mommy used to talk to you when bad things happened?" Olivia wondered.

"Yes, when were in school together, we used to tell each other things all the time.  I went through some pretty bad things back then, and your mom helped me get through them."

"How come she didn't tell no one when the things that made her have The Dream happened?"

Her query shook Tommy, making him wonder just how much Olivia knew of what happened to Kim.

"I don't know, Princess.  I only know that I wish she would have continued to trust me, and then maybe she wouldn't have had The Dream so much," Tommy sighed.

"Did she tell you about it after she had it last?"

"She did."

"I guess you must have made her feel better or something because she hasn't had it again.  She always used to have it lots of times before it went away," Olivia remarked thoughtfully.  "Can you make me feel better, too?"

"I don't know, but I'll try."

"Well . . . okay.  We were talking about Mommies and Daddies in class today.  All the kids were telling about theirs . . . did you know that some kids have Mommies and Daddies that don't live together, and they see them only sometimes?"

"Your Mom's parents were like that," Tommy replied.

"Really?"

"Uh huh."

"Wow."  Olivia paused to digest that bit of information.  "When it was my turn, I told them all about Mommy; then Mrs. Blackman asked me about my daddy.  I was scared at first 'cause everyone else had said something about their daddies, but Mommy always told me to tell the truth, so I told Mrs. Blackman that I didn't know who my daddy was."  She hung her head, trying to hide her tears.  "I was the only one who didn't have a daddy!  Then Robby started teasing me... why don't I know who my daddy is?" she asked plaintively.

Tommy hugged Olivia tighter as he struggled to think of what to tell her.  Although, he knew something of what she was feeling.  He recalled his own words to his parents the day he learned that he'd been adopted:  _Who are my mom and dad?  Why aren't I with them?  Why did they send me away?_  It was little comfort knowing that his parents had died and he'd been sent to an orphanage; for a long time he wondered what his biological parents had been like.  He'd probably still be wondering if he hadn't met David.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Tommy asked.  Olivia sniffled and nodded her head.  "I don't know who my real mom and dad are either."

"Yes, you do--Nanna Jan and Grandpa Tom . . . ."

"Have you ever heard the word 'adopted?'"

"No."

"It means that someone takes a child into his family to raise him as if he was his own child," Tommy began, trying to remember how his folks had explained it to him.  "I was adopted by Nanna Jan and Grandpa Tom because my real mom and dad had died when I was a baby.  I never knew who they were and neither did Nanna Jan and Grandpa Tom.  I needed a new mom and dad, and they wanted a son, so they adopted me and made me their son.  For a long, long time--just like you--I never knew who my real parents were, and I always wondered."

"You did?"

"Yes.  It's a very lonely and scary feeling.  It makes you feel different from the other kids."  Olivia nodded vigorously.  "What you have to remember is maybe you don't know your daddy, but you have your mommy . . . just like I have Nanna Jan and Grandpa Tom, and your mommy loves you.  That's the important thing, and now you have me and Nanna Jan and Grandpa Tom, too.  We all love you and think you're very special, and it doesn't matter to us that you don't know who your daddy is." Privately, Tommy hoped she'd never find out what sort of man her father really was.  "So, don't you let anything the kids at school say hurt you."

"But Robby said that he bet Mommy knew who my daddy was!  He said that Mommy was 'shamed to tell me about my daddy and that my daddy was a bad man or something . . . ."

"Robby . . . isn't he the one who was picking on Min on the first day of school because of her leg braces?" Tommy interjected quickly, wanting to steer Olivia clear of Robby's speculations; they hit too close to home for Tommy's liking.

"Yes.  He's so dumb!" Olivia asserted with an indignant snort.

"Then why listen to him?"  Olivia seemed to give his recommendation serious consideration, and Tommy silently let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Tommy," Olivia said at last, giving him a hug.

"Any time, Princess."

"Tommy, does Mommy know you're 'dopted?"

"I told her a long time ago."

"Good, 'cause I was afraid I might tell her on accident, and I didn't want you to be mad."

"I don't mind if you tell your mom about the things we talk about."  Tommy shifted Olivia off his lap and tucked her back into bed.  "Now, you'd better get to sleep.  It's way past your bed time, and I don't want your mom to be mad at me for letting you stay up late."

"Okay," Olivia agreed with a yawn.  "Do you know what?"

"What?"

"Min's mommy dropped her off at school today, and guess what!  She has a really big, round tummy.  Min told me that's because she has a baby inside her; Min's going to be a big sister!"

"That's nice."

"Mrs.  Ya-shi . . . oh, I forget all the parts!  Min told me to put my hand on her mommy's tummy, and I felt something bump my hand!  Min's mommy said that it was the baby kicking inside her!"

Tommy said nothing but smiled at the wonder which filled Olivia's expression.

"Do babies really grown inside the mommy?" Olivia queried.  "Min said that mommies and daddies make the baby together and put them inside the mommy until it gets big enough to come out.  Did I grow inside my mommy's tummy?"

_Mom, is this your way of getting back at me for all the awkward questions I asked you as a kid? _ Tommy silently queried.  He was amazed at Olivia's grasp of the concept.  While he couldn't remember how old he was when he learned where babies came from, he was fairly certain it hadn't been in Kindergarten.  This was something Kim should be handling, but Olivia was looking at him expectantly.

"Yes, Princess, that's what happens, and you grew inside your mom just like Min's little brother or sister is growing inside her mom."

"But if a daddy has to help, then how come Mommy doesn't know mine?"

_Kim, where are you when I need you? _ Tommy pleaded silently.  However, Olivia gave Tommy a moment's reprieve by proceeding to her next query.

"How come you always answer my questions?"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Mommy always says I'm too little to know and that she'll tell me when I'm a little older."

"Nanna Jan always said that if I was old enough to ask the question, then I was old enough to hear the answer."  A philosophy which often put his parents in awkward positions, but they never shied away from answering him.

"Can I ask you something else?  What does 'raped' mean?"

Tommy was thunderstruck--too astonished to speak for a moment.  When he found his voice again, he fumbled helplessly, "Where did you hear that word?"

"At the gym in Florida.  Some of the girls were talking and said that Mommy was raped.  When I asked Mommy, she wouldn't say, but her face got white and she looked like she wanted to cry.  It scared me, Tommy.  It's something bad, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is.  Very bad," Tommy agreed.

"And it happened to Mommy?  Is that what gave her The Dream?"

"Yes."

"What is it, Tommy?"

"Olivia, I really think that . . . ."

"Please, Tommy . . . ." Olivia pleaded, on the verge of frightened tears.  

Looking into the girl's eyes decided Tommy.  It would be cruel to leave her with partial knowledge and vague fears.  He took a deep breath.  "You know how Min said mommies and daddies do things to make babies?  Well, raped is when someone does that same thing to you when you don't want him to."

"D-does it hurt?" Olivia asked in the barest whisper, her eyes wide.

"Being raped hurts very much."

"Tommy, is that what my daddy did to my mommy?  Did he hurt her and put a baby inside her when she didn't want him to?"

Tommy didn't want to answer.  He couldn't.  However, he couldn't keep the knowledge from showing in his guilty expression.

"He did!  Robby was right!  My daddy is a bad man!" Olivia sobbed, bursting into hysterical tears.

_Now what? _ Tommy moaned silently as he scooped the tot into his arms once again.  He was not handling this well at all; instead of helping Olivia, he had only managed to make a bigger mess of things.

"I don't want my daddy to be a bad man!"

What could he possibly say to make things better?  _Haven't you said enough?_  He should have left well enough alone, but he couldn't just abandon Olivia to the bitter truth--he couldn't leave her without some glimmer of hope.

"Yes, your daddy did a bad thing," Tommy began carefully, "but just because he did a bad thing one time doesn't necessarily mean he was a bad man.  Maybe he had no choice."

"Huh?" Olivia sniffled.

Tommy took a deep breath.  How to convince her of something he didn't believe himself?  Then, he had an idea.  "Olivia, do you think I'm a bad man?"

"No!"

"Even though I did some bad things a long time ago--including hurting your mom?"

"_You_ hurt my mommy?" Olivia gasped, incredulous.

Tommy nodded; he never thought he'd ever be thankful for his experience as the evil Green Ranger.  "I didn't want to, Princess, but someone did bad things to me that made me hurt your mom and all my best friends."

"How could anyone make you do that?"

"Has your mom ever told you about Rita Repulsa and the original Power Rangers?"

"Uh huh.  I always liked the Pink Ranger!"

"I always liked her, too," Tommy agreed, smiling secretively.  "I don't know why, but for some reason, Rita decided to put a spell on me, and it made me do all sorts of bad things.  When the spell was broken, I was very, very sorry for all those things that I did.  Your mom and my friends stood by me and forgave me once they found out why I did all those things.

"The thing with your daddy is that we don't know anything about him.  We don't know why he did the bad thing he did.  Maybe he was just a good person who had been forced to do a bad thing like I was, and maybe, like me, he's very sorry for what he did."

"Then maybe my daddy is really a nice person--just like you," Olivia said hopefully.

Tommy felt like such a hypocrite.  Here he was building up Olivia's confidence in her father while he was thinking that had he still been the evil Green Ranger, he'd have found a fitting torture for Olivia's dad for what he did to Kim.  "My Grandma Sarah always said that the only things that could come from bad things were bad things, so maybe your daddy isn't really bad because you're a very good girl," he replied.

"Thank you, Tommy," Olivia murmured, gratefully hugging him.

"Any time, Princess.  Now, you need to get to sleep; after all, you have school tomorrow."

"Will mommy come in when she gets home?"

"Of course.  I'll make sure she does."

As Tommy tucked her in and kissed her on the forehead, Olivia sleepily asked, "Tommy, can I tell you a secret?"

"Sure, hon.  What is it?"

"You won't tell Mommy?"

"Not unless you say I can."

"I wish you were my daddy," she whispered in his ear.

Tommy had no response to that; he was surprised to find that he was having a hard time keeping his emotions under control.  He settled for continuing to stroke Olivia's hair as her eyelids got heavier and heavier.  _So do I, Princess, so do I._

Finally, Olivia surrendered to sleep, and Tommy left her side.  As he turned toward the door, he spied Kim.  He couldn't read the expression on her face; was she angry with him for discussing her ordeal with her daughter?  "How long . . . ?" he began, a blush stinging his cheeks.

"Since Olivia asked her question," Kim replied neutrally.

"I'm sorry, Kim," he apologized awkwardly.  "I didn't mean to overstep my bounds, but she was so upset that I couldn't just put her off . . . ."

"I know.  Part of me is a little upset, but mostly I'm relieved," she confessed.  "She's asked me before . . . . I've never been able to tell her; I've never known how . . . ."  She shrugged helplessly.  "You handled that really well.  Thank you."

Tommy breathed a sigh of relief in the silence that followed.

"That last part--about her dad . . . ." Kim fumbled uncertainly, ". . . it was almost enough to make me want to believe . . . ."

"I didn't know what else to . . . would it hurt to let her have her illusions?" Tommy asked, still trying to justify the explanation to himself.  "I suppose it could be possible; I mean, you believed in me when I'd given you no reason to."

"I had a reason," Kim said quietly.  "The first time I met you . . . the first time I really looked into your eyes, I knew that you were a good man."  

Tommy's eyes widened at Kim's confession, but he tried to keep his expression neutral.  Something about her demeanor struck him as being very vulnerable--almost like she was trying to reach out to him.  He didn't want to do anything to frighten her off.

"I--I need to check on Olivia," she mumbled suddenly.  "After all, you promised her . . . ."

"Sure, Kim.  When you're done, would you feel up to some cocoa and telling me how your first day of work went?"

"Sure."

* * *

"Sorry I'm late," Tommy said, slightly out of breath as he slid into the booth.  He had to practically shout to be heard over the din of screaming children and clanging machines.  They had taken Olivia out to Discovery Zone for her birthday.

"Now, where have I heard that before?" Kim teased with a grin.

"Hey!" Tommy protested in his defense.  "I've gotten better about that.  This time, it wasn't my fault."

"Did you get the cake?"

"That's why it wasn't my fault.  The cake wasn't ready."

"Not ready . . . ?  Tommy, how could it not be ready?  What are we going to . . . ?"

"All taken care of," Tommy assured her.  "Mom got off work late, so my folks hadn't left yet.  They'll pick up the cake on their way over."

"Did you remember to leave them your key?"

"Mom has a spare.  Will you relax?  Everything's going to be just fine; this'll be a birthday Olivia remembers for a long, long time."

"I hope so.  I've never been able to do much for her before."

Tommy recalled Olivia's comment about McDonald's and birthdays and smiled sympathetically.

"I guess I'm as excited about all this as she is," Kim confessed with a sheepish grin.  The grin faded into a frown.  "Do you think we should have invited some of the kids in her class?"

"We went over that.  Olivia really doesn't know most of her classmates yet, and as for Min, I don't think she'd have been able to play in the tubes and things.  This year is just for family; we have to save something for next year."  It was only after Tommy had spoken that he realized how proprietary his words must have sounded; however, Kim merely smiled, relaxing somewhat.

"I guess you're right."

"I'm glad you were able to take the whole day off to be with her.  That was nice of Julia."

"I told her on my first day that I had to have today off.  There was no way I wasn't going to spend the day with her," Kim asserted.

"By the way, where is the birthday girl?"

Kim nodded her head in the direction of the maze of interconnected tunnels.  "Happily clambering around in there."  As the two glanced over, Olivia came happily shrieking down the slide.

"They need to issue parents ear protectors like they do at the track," Tommy grimaced.

"And knee pads," Kim winced.  "You're lucky you're too big to fit in those tubes."

"She dragged you in with her?"

"Only until she latched onto a playmate.  Thank goodness!"

"Tommy!" Olivia cheered as she raced back to the table, practically tripping over her own feet in her eagerness to greet him.

"Happy birthday, Princess," Tommy called out.  "So, how old are you?"

"Five!" she declared.

"That's funny, you don't look a day over four and a half."

"Tommeeeeee . . . !"

"She's been taking lessons from you," Tommy jibed, smirking at Kim.  "She almost has it down perfectly."

"Tom-my . . . !"

"What have you and your mom been up to all day?"

"Everything!" Olivia gushed as she wriggled onto his lap.

"No fair having fun while I was at work," he pouted and Olivia stuck her tongue out at him.

"Olivia, that's not nice," Kim chided, but she went unheeded as Tommy retaliated in like fashion.

"So, what did you do first?" Tommy prompted.

"We went to the park, and guess who was there!"

"Um . . . Santa Claus?"

"No, silly!  It was Min.  She told me she was hoping I'd be there today--'cause sometimes I'm not--she had a birthday present for me."

"That was very nice of her.  How'd she know?"

"Because of the cupcakes and singing 'Happy Birthday' at school yesterday," Olivia explained with exaggerated patience.  "You were right, Mommy; Tommy does forget things a lot."

Tommy flashed Kim a wounded look, and she had to bite her lip to keep from laughing out loud.  "I didn't forget; I was only fooling around."

"Oh.  Okay.  Anyway, Min gave me this pretty bracelet; she made it all by herself."  Olivia thrust her arm out, displaying the collection of colorful beads about her wrist.

"That's very pretty; Min did a good job.  That reminds me; I have something for you."

"What is it?" Olivia asked eagerly.

"Close your eyes," Tommy instructed as he reached for the plastic sack he'd brought in with him.  He removed his glittering surprise.  "Okay, you can open them."

"Ooohh," Olivia gasped, her eyes as wide as saucers and her face glowing with delight.

"You can't be a proper birthday princess without a birthday crown," Tommy explained as he set the glitter-and-plastic-jewel covered ornament on her head.  Tommy was glad Kim had taken Olivia out for the day; he hadn't had time to decorate the paper crown he'd brought home from Burger King until that afternoon.

"Did you make this all by yourself?" Olivia queried, awestruck.

"Sure did, just for you."

"Thank you, Tommy!"  She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him as tightly as she could, and it made every bauble that wouldn't stay put and every tube of glitter he had spilled worth it.

"If I'm the birthday princess, then Mommy is the birthday queen," Olivia decided, then she frowned. "But how can you be a queen, Mommy, without a crown?"

"That's okay, sweetheart; I don't need a crown," Kim demurred.

"Actually," Tommy began with a mischievous grin, reaching into his sack for a second time, "you do.  According to the Oliver Rules of Birthday Etiquette--as set down by Grandpa Oliver--everyone at a birthday party is required to wear a party hat."  Kim rolled her eyes, and Olivia clapped gleefully in anticipation; however, his impish smile faded as he came up empty.  "Darn.  I think I left our hats at home."

"Thank you for the Oliver memory," Kim responded dramatically, raising her eyes heavenward.

"You guys can share mine," Olivia offered.

"That's very nice, but I don't think it'd fit me or Tommy," Kim said.

"We'll just have to wait until we get home," Tommy assured her.

"All right.  Can I go play some more, Mommy?"

"I suppose, but just until they call our number."  As Olivia made to scamper off, Kim plucked the crown from her head.  "You don't want to ruin this, do you?" she queried in the face of Olivia's pout.

"I wondered if you guys went ahead and ordered," Tommy remarked.

"I hope you're up for cheese pizza," Kim warned.

"That's my favorite," Olivia piped up.

"If that's what the birthday girl wants, then that's what the birthday girl gets."  Although, he would have preferred one with the works!

"Another 'Oliver Birthday Rule?'" Kim queried.

"You bet.  Grandpa Oliver had lots of them."

"Which Grandpa Oliver?" Kim's tone was laced with skepticism.

"My grandpa--dad's dad," Tommy clarified since his father had told Olivia it was okay to call him grandpa.

"What other 'rules' are we going to run into tonight?"

"Oh, there are all kinds," Tommy said.  "Grandpa loved parties; he was a kid at heart, and birthdays were always a big deal to him.  He and Grandma went all out for us kids when it came to birthday parties."

_"Order forty-two!"_

"That's our number," Kim said, ready to get up.

"I'll get it."  However, as Tommy headed for the counter, he stopped, frowning.

"What is it?"

"I just hope mom remembers Grandma Sarah's 'addendum to the frosting' rule."

"And that is . . . ?"

" 'No fingers in the frosting until the candles have been blown out.'  Dad's notorious for snitching a finger full whenever he can."

*

"Tommy, will you come play with me in the balls?" Olivia queried as she finished the last of her Pepsi.

"I think Tommy may be a little too big for that," Kim objected.

"But other daddies fit," Olivia pointed out; in fact one father was just scrambling out of the sea of plastic balls.

"Why not," Tommy agreed and began kicking off his shoes.  He was somewhat surprised that Kim hadn't tried to point out that he wasn't Olivia's daddy.

"Your grandfather obviously wasn't the only Oliver who was a kid at heart," Kim murmured with a shy grin.  "So what Oliver rule covers wallowing in the ball pit?"

" 'It is permissible, in fact encouraged, for adults to behave as if they were the same age as the birthday girl,'" Tommy retorted readily.  Kim just shook her head.  "Care to join us?"

"I'll take a rain check.  Besides, someone has to make sure the crown jewels aren't stolen."

"You don't know what you're missing."  Tommy eyed the ball pit appraisingly.  "All right, Princess, I need you to scout ahead and make sure the coast is clear."

"Right!"  Olivia scurried off to obey.

"What are you going to do?" Kim queried.

"You'll see," he answered with an impish wink.  Just then, Olivia flashed him a thumbs up.  "Ready or not, here I come!"  With long, quick strides, Tommy "rushed" at the pit entrance and dove in.  A gleeful Olivia was sloshed around by the tidal wave of displaced plastic balls.  It wasn't exactly the smartest thing he had ever done; the pit was shallower than he anticipated.  Before he recovered from the rough slide, Olivia pounced on him.

"That was fun!  Do it again!" she urged.  In response, Tommy reached for her sides.  Laughing and shrieking, she scrambled off him.

"The Ball Pit Monster is coming to tickle you!" he rumbled ominously, crawling after her.  She fled in mock terror; when Tommy got within arms reach, Olivia beaned him with a ball.  "Hey!" he protested, trying to shield himself from a second missile.  Just as he was ready to move in for a retaliatory strike, he was blinded by a flash of light.

"Do you have any idea how silly you look?"

Blinking furiously to clear his eyes, Tommy looked up through the strands of his flyaway hair to see Kim standing on the other side of the mesh barrier holding her disposable camera.  Her words were gently teasing, and her eyes were soft and warm.  For a moment, she looked like the girl he had fallen in love with that day at the lockers.

Before Tommy could respond to Kim's playful inquiry, Olivia heaved another ball at him.  He dropped, dodging the projectile, and it sailed out of the pit and clipped Kim.

"I think you're supposed to keep the balls inside . . . oh!"

When Kim tossed the ball back in, Tommy caught her arm and yanked her inside.  She crashed pell mell into the pit and landed hard atop him.

"Oh!"

Her exclamation had been an excited chirp of surprise; his was one of pain.

"Serves you right," Kim laughed.  "You okay?"

"Yeah.  Another of my not-so-bright moves, eh?" he asked with a rueful grin.

"Yea, Mommy!" Olivia cheered as she launched herself at Kim's back.  In trying to avoid the tackle, Kim wound up flattening Tommy again.  She was splayed out across him so that they were practically nose tip to nose tip.  There was a moment of awkward silence as the pair stared deeply into each other's eyes.  Five years ago, Tommy would simply have leaned forward and kissed her.  Today, he was almost afraid to move for fear of upsetting Kim.

"Come and get me!" Olivia commanded as she slid off Kim's back.  Slowly, the two adults disentangled themselves.

"You okay?" Tommy asked, but he wasn't sure if he meant physically or psychologically.  Kim looked a little nervous, so he decided to make light of the whole episode.  "Instead of signing her up for karate, maybe she should play football instead.  She could be the starting tackle at Angel Grove."  Kim laughed, to Tommy's relief.

"Before I was so _rudely_ interrupted," Kim began teasingly, "I came over here to tell you guys that it's getting late.  We should be going . . . ."

"No, Mommy . . . !"

". . . if we want to have cake and presents tonight," she concluded.

"Can we go now?" Olivia asked eagerly and made a beeline for the slit doorway.  More carefully, Tommy and Kim helped each other out.

"I hope your folks don't go overboard on the presents," Kim murmured as she watched Olivia put on her shoes in an excited flurry.

"Don't worry.  I told Mom that you didn't want to overwhelm Olivia.  She'll be able to keep Dad in line."

"I just don't want her to get spoiled . . . ."

"One birthday with lots of presents isn't going to spoil her," Tommy assured her.  "Besides, according to Grandpa Oliver, it's a grandparent's sworn duty to spoil the grandkids."

"Hurry up!" Olivia insisted anxiously.

"Take it easy, Princess.  Before we go, there's something else I want to give to you," Tommy said.

"Really?  What is it?"

"Tommy . . . ." Kim chided.

She knew about the box of Leggos he had bought, but he hadn't told Kim about his other little surprise.  "It's just a little thing," he assured her.  He collected his plastic bag and pulled out a small box.

"Ooh, sparkly paper!"

Tommy could tell by the look Kim shot him that she had some notion as to what sort of gift it was.

"Can I open it now, Mommy?  Please . . . ?"

"We wouldn't want to disappoint Tommy," Kim acquiesced with feigned resignation, her smile belying her tone--to Tommy's relief.

Olivia eagerly ripped into the paper and pulled off the lid of the small, rectangular box.

"Oh, Mommy, look . . . !" she oohed, pulling the delicate necklace out of the box.  Hanging from the golden links was a horizontal oval medallion.  Olivia's name decorated the facing in flowery script, and set in the dot of the first "I" was a simulated birthstone.

"Tommy, you shouldn't have," Kim gasped.  "It's very . . . ."

"It has been my limited experience that pretty girls like pretty jewelry," Tommy replied, pleased that his gift had been so well received by both parties.

"I've never had a pretty necklace before," Olivia murmured in awe.

"It's not just a necklace.  Look."  Tommy ran his thumbnail along the bottom of the oval.

"It's a locket," Kim realized.

"What's a locket?" Olivia wondered.

"A necklace you can put pictures in," Tommy explained.  "See?"  Opening it all the way, Tommy revealed there was a photograph already inside.

"It's you, Mommy," Olivia declared, proudly flashing the photo at Kim.

"Where'd you get this?" Kim asked, puzzled.  It wasn't a recent photo.

"Oh, it's one I've had for a while," Tommy said evasively.  Actually, it was his favorite picture of Kim taken shortly after they first started dating.  He wondered if Kim recognized it.  "I took it down to the office supply store and had a color copy made."

"What's the empty space for?" Olivia queried.

"For another picture," Kim said.

"Can I put Tommy's picture in it?"

He and Kim traded startled glances and sheepish grins.

"If you'd like," Kim agreed.

"Do you have a picture I can have?"

"I . . . have some old ones . . . ." Kim admitted awkwardly.  Tommy was pleased to learn that she had kept her old pictures.

"I wanna new one."

"I haven't had my picture taken in a while," Tommy confessed in the face of Olivia's expectant gaze.

"I took one while you were in the ball pit," Kim offered, smiling mischievously, "but I'm sure you'd rather have a nice one if she's going to show it off to all her Kindergarten buddies."

"Smile and say 'fuzzy pickles!'" Olivia instructed as Kim put the camera to her eye.

"I prefer pumpernickel."

"What's pump-er-nickel?"

"There we go," Kim announced, following the flash.

"Can I take one?" Olivia asked eagerly.

"Of what?"

"You an' Tommy."

"I'm game if you are," Tommy agreed.  Almost shyly, Kim slid into the booth next to him, leaving a comfortable distance between the two of them.

"Closer," Olivia insisted.  "Tommy doesn't fit in the little box all the way."

Tommy eyed Kim questioningly; she shrugged and moved closer.

"Closer, Mommy."

"What do you want me to do?  Sit on his lap?"

"I have a suggestion.  Would you mind?" he asked softly, indicating that he wanted to put his arm around her shoulder.

"I guess so."

"That's better!  Smile!"

"I hope she gets us both in the picture and not just the tops of our heads," Kim said ruefully.

As the flash went off, Tommy made a mental note to get doubles of this particular roll of film.

*

"This has been my best birthday ever!" Olivia gushed.  For the umpteenth time since Tommy had fastened the locket around her neck, she beamed down at it in wonder.

"You haven't even had cake or opened your other presents yet," Kim interjected.

"More presents?  Really?"

"One from your mom and one from me," Tommy said as he opened the door to the stairwell, allowing the ladies to step inside.

"That makes two from you," Olivia pointed out.

"So it does . . . hey, race ya!  First one upstairs gets the birthday crown!" Tommy challenged.  Laughing, Olivia bolted up the stairs, cutting Tommy off.  "No fair!"  He gave chase up the two flights of stairs, leaving Kim, who was shaking her head at them, behind.

"I win!" Olivia declared breathlessly as she scrambled up the last steps and tagged the door.

"It's a good thing, too," Kim observed as she overtook the pair.  "The crown wouldn't fit Tommy."

"I have my own hat anyway," Tommy defended himself.

"Can I unlock the bottom lock?" Olivia requested.

"Go for it, Princess."  

It took a few tries, but she finally succeeded in getting the bolt unfastened and pushing the door open.

"It's dark, Tommy; you forgot to leave the light on," Olivia scolded.

"Sorry . . . ."

_"SURPRISE!"_

Olivia let out a shriek as the lights came up revealing a living room bedecked with streamers and balloons and filled with people: Tommy's parents, Rocky, Adam and Tanya, Maggie and Kelly.

"Tommy . . . ." Kim hissed in his ear.  "I said a _small_ party."

"It was Dad's idea," Tommy hissed back.  "He said it wasn't much of a party with only five people."

"Let's get this party started!" Thomas Oliver declared.  "Anybody have a lighter so we can light the candles?"

"Thomas, don't tell me you forgot to bring one," Jan huffed.

"Light one of the candles at the stove," Tanya suggested.

"If Tommy has a gas stove, that is," Rocky piped up.

"Can I take the hat off yet?" Adam grumbled.

"No," Rocky insisted.  "Don't you know anything about birthday parties?  You have to wear your hat until the guest of honor takes hers off.  Geez!"

"I feel ridiculous," Adam complained.

"You look cute," Tanya assured him.

"Hey, Kim, lookin' good!" Rocky called out as Tommy plopped a festive hat on her head.

"Thanks for coming you guys," Tommy interjected into the easy banter he had missed so much.

"Rocky wouldn't have missed a chance for free food and to act like a five year old again," Tanya snorted, and Rocky pretended to have been shot through the heart by her barb.  Olivia laughed at his exaggerated pantomime.

"Thomas William, what did I tell you about keeping your fingers out of the frosting . . . ?" Jan called from the kitchen.

"Uh oh, Dad--busted!" Tommy snickered.

"Ms. Hart, are you okay?" Kelly queried, and Tommy turned his attention to where Kim had sunk into a chair.  She appeared to be more overwhelmed than Olivia.  Briefly he wondered if the chaos was a bit much for her.

"I'm fine, Kelly," Kim assured her.  "It was really nice of you and your mom to come."

"No problem.  We were glad to," Kelly chirped.

"Actually, Kelly pretty much invited herself, and Tom was too nice to tell her no," Maggie said.  "We ran into him when he ordered the cake, and Kelly volunteered us."

"Hey, the more the merrier," Tommy piped up.

"How are you and Olivia getting along these days?" Tanya queried, joining Kim on the couch.

"Things have been really good, especially since I found a job . . . ."

"No, no, no!  Not that way . . . . Sheez, Adam . . . ."

"Hey!" Thomas shouted to be heard above the lively commotion.  "Everyone to the table before these candles and the cake melt."

"Come on, Princess," Tommy said, scooping Olivia up, and in one fluid motion, he transferred her to his shoulders.

"Hey, Olivia, can I help you blow out the candles?" Rocky queried.

"No, silly, you'll mess up my wish if you do."

"Aw, man . . . ."

"Oh, wow!" Olivia gasped when she saw that her cake was decorated with the figure of the original Pink Ranger.  "Mommy, look!  My favorite!"

"I see, honey," Kim said, trying not to blush.  Rocky elbowed her knowingly.

"I guess I done good, huh," Tommy said with a broad grin.

"You've done very good," Kim softly replied, favoring him with a rare, unguarded smile.

"Oops, almost forgot!" Thomas yelped, scampering over to the corner where he'd set up the video camera on the tripod.  "Okay," he instructed as he hit the record button.  Kelly started the singing.

_"Happy Birthday to you . . . ."_

"You know, I don't have any video tape of Olivia," Kim whispered.

"Really?  I know you didn't have a camera, but surely someone at the gym must have caught her on tape," Tommy ventured.

"If they had, they never said anything to me."

_" . . . Olivia.  Happy Birthday . . . to  . . . you . . . !"_

"Close your eyes."

"Make a wish."

"Blow out the candles!"

"You don't need to tell me," Olivia murmured as she drew in a deep breath.

"All right!" Kelly cheered as the five candles went out with one blow.

"What a set of lungs!  Just like her mom," Rocky chortled.

"Rocky!" Kim protested.

"I . . . hey!" Olivia squealed as Thomas landed a fingerful of frosting on the tip of her nose.  She wiped it off and tried to retaliate, but Thomas got her again.

"All right!  Frosting fight," Rocky cheered.  "I thought my family was the only one that did that."

"Nope," Tommy answered and smeared a white streak across Rocky's cheek.

"Hey!"  Rocky reached for some of the creamy ammunition.  "Who knew our uptight, oh-so-fearless former leader knows how to party!"

"Someone put some food in his mouth and shut him up," Tanya shot playfully, and Adam obligingly nailed him with a glop of frosting.

"Now you've got it, " Rocky encouraged, taking a taste of the confection as he cleaned it off his face.  "Not bad."

"Tommy?"

"Yes, Olivia?"

"Gotcha!"

"She faked ya out," Rocky crowed.

"Come on, guys; knock it off or there won't be any left to eat," Kim admonished.

"Don't be a party pooper," Tommy chided and deposited a dollop on the end of her nose, which gave Olivia a giggle fit.  "You look so cute!"

"Just remember that when _you're_ cleaning up the mess," Kim retorted with a smirk as she got him back.


	4. Part IV: Behind The Masks

Part Four: Behind the Masks

"Olivia?" Tommy called out, casting about for his pint-sized partner. The two had left Kim at the laundromat while they hit Wal-Mart to do some restocking.  Kim was only too glad to let Olivia go since the laundromat was "the most boring place in the world"--cookies notwithstanding--and Olivia had been particularly energetic today, so Tommy wasn't too surprised to discover that she had wandered off yet again.

"Over here!" came the reply.

Tommy found her down the next aisle over.  He should have known . . . .  The shelves were stocked with Halloween costumes, masks, make up and other spooky accouterments.  Olivia was eagerly rifling through the colorful collection of costumes.

"What do you want to be for Halloween?"  He knew Olivia was excited about the pending holiday; Kim had never felt comfortable taking her out trick-or-treating (not that Tommy blamed her).  Also, Olivia's class was having a Halloween party, and there was bound to be something for the kids at the Youth Center.

"The Pink Ranger," Olivia replied; however, as she reached the end of the rack, she stepped back, folded her arms across her chest, pouted, and stomped her foot petulantly.  "Darn it; they don't have one."

"Sure they do," Tommy countered.  There was a whole row of rainbow-hued power suits.  He recalled the first time he had seen his namesake immortalized in polyester and plastic.  It had surprised him, but then, he really should have expected it.  Kids always wanted to emulate their heroes; still, while it had been very flattering, it had been a little embarrassing, too.  Tommy regarded the suits with a bit of puzzlement; he had always tried to keep up with Ranger news, but for the life of him, he couldn't recall which incarnation the present Ranger team was in.  _Let's see, after Turbo came the Space Rangers and their mega-stuff, but after that . . . .  Boy, have I been out of touch!_

"I don't want to be the _new_ Pink Ranger," Olivia insisted.  "I want to be the first one, like from Mommy's pictures and my birthday cake.  She was the best Pink Ranger."

Tommy could not argue with that assertion; however, he knew that it was going to be practically impossible to find an original Ranger costume of any color.  The original team was a good six or seven years out of date.  The only option he could think of was to make one.  The suit part wouldn't be too hard, but the helmet . . . .

"We've been talking about the Power Rangers a lot in school," Olivia rattled on, disrupting his creative process.  "Mrs. Blackman brought in some old pictures and videos and stuff.  And we have monster drills, too!"

"Monster drills?"  That was a new on Tommy.

"Sure.  Just like fire drills--so we know what to do if a monster attack happens while we're at school.  The teachers don't want any of us to get squished, so if we can't get outside or down in the basement--they had to have the basement fixed special so it doesn't fall down on our heads--we have to get under a desk or table and try and stay by an outside wall," Olivia related.

"That's a very good precaution," Tommy replied.  It saddened him to think that such a thing was still necessary.  For all the incarnations of the Power Team, they were never truly able to hang up their helmets.  They best they could hope for was an extended lull.

"Is the apartment monster-proof?" Olivia queried.

"I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"We don't get many monster attacks on the north side of the city," Tommy explained.  As he recalled, most monster damage was done downtown, at the water front, or in Angel Grove park--sort of in an east/west line.  For the most part, the residential areas were on the north and south ends of the city.

"That's good 'cause I wouldn't want our house to get squished."

Tommy smiled as Olivia said "our house."  It made him feel good to know that she considered his place as home now.  He still wasn't sure about Kim, but he hoped she felt the same way.  Thinking about Kim reminded him that . . . .  "Come on, Princess; the clothes are probably just about done.  We don't want your mom to fold them all by herself.  We can talk to her about your costume, too."

"I can't wait for Halloween," Olivia bubbled as she took Tommy's hand.  "You mean people really give you candy if you knock on their door and say 'trick-or-treat' . . . ?"

*

"Where are those two?" Kim fumed.  She had already hung up the clothes; all that was left was sorting the socks and underwear and folding the sheets and towels.  "I should have known better than to let them go off on their own."  Shaking her head, she returned to searching for all of Olivia's anklets.  It was probably just as well that they hadn't hung around.  Although the laundromat was unusually full for a Sunday afternoon, most of the other patrons were college students--predominately male.  _Olivia would be bored to tears with no one to play with, and I wouldn't be able to get anything done._

Saturday was the best day to catch the "family" crowd, and the after school hours during the week weren't too bad for that either.  Monday was the usual laundry day, but Tommy had to switch off with Kurt this week, and Kim now worked on Mondays.  She felt guilty about sending Tommy to do the wash by himself (and she really didn't trust him not to shrink her leotards.)

A sudden flurry of activity caught Kim's attention.  The lackadaisical crowd was all aflutter--at least the men were; their attention was riveted to the front door.  Kim noted that the other women were rolling their eyes and whispering amongst themselves as if this sort of thing happened regularly.  As Kim glanced towards the door, she saw the reason for the men's sudden animation.  In walked one of the most gorgeous women Kim had ever seen.  She had to be close to six feet tall without the heels, and she was all lithe muscle and generous curves and moved with a sexy swagger that seemed natural.  Perfect white teeth smiled out from dark, full lips, and sultry black eyes reduced her admirers to puddles of simmering hormones.  Her skin was a lush bronze color, but her hair was a shocking shade of red.

"_Muchas gracias_," she cooed in a thick accent to the young man who held the door open for her.  He was so enraptured by the woman as she walked past that he didn't notice the woman coming in behind her.  Shaking her head, Kim hurried forward to help the basket-beleaguered woman.

"Hey, Maggie," Kim greeted.

"Hello, Kim," Maggie puffed as she juggled her awkward load.  "I thought Monday was laundry day."

"And I thought you had gotten your new washer."

"Stupid tub is too small.  The bedspreads won't fit," Maggie groused, and Kim stifled a laugh.  "So, did Tommy and Olivia abandon you here?"

"Actually, he's saving me from the 'Mommy, I'm bored' litany while doing some shopping," Kim explained, resuming her sorting.

"Have you nominated him for sainthood yet?" Maggie teased.

"Hello, Mrs. Donovan," the flame-haired knock-out said as she passed by on her way to the change machine.

"Hello, Carmen."

"Carmen?" Kim queried once the other woman was out of earshot.  "The same Carmen you warned Tommy about?"

"Uh huh.  Carmen Vega."  The two fell silent as Carmen sauntered past; both shook their heads at her adoring audience.  "I've had a few conversations with her; she's a nice young woman, really.  She's just blessed with an overabundance of . . . sex appeal.  What comes natural to her would be affectation for you or me.  I mean, she's not even trying and she has the guys falling all over her.  Her problem is that she doesn't have a lot of common sense when it comes to men.  She attracts all sorts but always seems to go for the wrong ones; she told me once that the nice ones bore her, and the others . . . well...."

"And she's interested in Tommy?"

"She thinks she is.  Tommy's definitely not her type--way too nice."

"Then why . . . ?"

"Two reasons: first, he helped her out of a really tight spot.  She was hooked up with a guy who was renting the upstairs apartment; Joe was okay when sober, but he got violent when he got drunk.  Tommy didn't know that when he rented the place out . . . .  Anyway, Joe and Carmen got into it one night and things turned ugly.  Carmen ran to Tommy and David for help.  They called the police, let Carmen stay with them a couple of nights . . . . She swears Tommy saved her life.

"The second reason is that Tommy is just about the only man in the neighborhood who hasn't followed her around, drooling all the while.  Even Matt at the coffee shop--and he's old enough to be her father!"

"He's old, not dead," Kim joked.

"Okay, I'll give you that.  Tommy's always polite to Carmen when he runs into her but otherwise tries to avoid her.  Why he doesn't just tell her to get lost is beyond me."

"He probably feels responsible for something," Kim speculated; that would be just like Tommy.  "Also, I bet he doesn't want to hurt her feelings."

"She probably thinks he's playing hard to get," Maggie snorted.  "It's high time Tommy stopped hiding from her and stood up to her."

Kim privately agreed, but Tommy wouldn't do something like that until he found a way to break it to her gently or she seriously backed him into a corner.  She was getting a little uncomfortable with the whole subject of Tommy and Carmen and turned to a new topic. "I noticed you've been calling him 'Tommy' instead of 'Tom;' why the change?"

Maggie shrugged.  "Olivia's birthday party, I guess. Everyone was calling him Tommy, and he seemed much more at ease with that than Tom.  Besides, in addition to having Chris calling him Tommy, now I have Kelly calling him that, too.  It was an battle I couldn't win.   By the way, how is Kelly working out?"

Maggie's daughter had been helping Kim and Tommy with Olivia's after school care as their babysitter.  "She's doing just fine, and Olivia adores her," Kim reported.  "I'm glad you let her take the job; we needed the help but didn't really know anyone else to trust Olivia with."

"I was a little worried at first; Kelly is just twelve.  I haven't left her alone with Mike and Chris very often, but with Tommy being downstairs if there was an emergency, I figured that would be all right."

"That was our thinking, too."

"Plus, I had never seen a kid beg so hard to be allowed to take a job."

"I just hope watching Olivia doesn't interfere with her school work."

"Quite the opposite," Maggie laughed.  "Her grades have never been better.  Of course, she's been told that she'll have to stop babysitting if her grades drop."

Kim shook her head.  "I wonder if she'll still be so gung ho about all this when I fall off her pedestal and she finds out I'm only human."

"Hero worship doesn't sit well with you, eh?"

"I'm no hero."

"She could have a worse role model than someone who's worked hard and overcome a lot of adversity to get where she is today."

Maggie picked that moment to wander off, leaving Kim gaping after her, wondering just what Maggie knew about her.  However, further speculation was shoved aside as she saw Tommy's white truck pull into the parking lot.  Kim gathered up a fully loaded basket and went to meet the twosome.

"So, what do you guys have to say for yourselves?" she demanded with mock sternness.

"We brought you ice cream," Olivia announced, holding out a dripping cone.

"Well . . . ." 

"It's your favorite," Tommy added with a hopeful expression on his face as he got out of the vehicle and took the basket from her.

"I suppose you're forgiven," she muttered with feigned reluctance and a grin as she accepted their peace offering.  She looked for a napkin as the melting confection dripped all over her hand.  "So, what section of Wal-Mart did you get distracted in?  Toys?"

"Halloween costumes," Tommy said.

"Ah, I'd almost forgotten . . . ."

"I'm going to be the first Pink Ranger!" Olivia declared.

"The first . . . and just where are we going to find one of those?" Kim demanded, knowing full well no store was going to have one.

"I was thinking of asking Kelly," Tommy replied.  "Maybe she or one of her friends has an old one.  She'd have been about Olivia's age when the Pterodactyl Ranger was in style."

"I see Mrs. Maggie," Olivia chirped, waving through the plate glass window.

"No time like the present," Kim sighed.

"I'll take care of loading up.  We really didn't mean to leave you to do all the work," Tommy said contritely.

"I know," she assured him with a forgiving smile.  Olivia had already dashed inside, and Kim found her telling Maggie about her grand plans for Halloween.  "You wouldn't by any chance have an old Pink Ranger costume that Kelly might have worn?"

"I wouldn't be surprised; she wouldn't let me get rid of any of her Power Ranger memorabilia."

Kim found it almost too much of a coincidence that Kelly idolized her both in and out of costume.

"Say, did you warn Tommy that Carmen was here?" Maggie asked suddenly.

"No . . . I didn't think . . . ."  Kim turned, hoping to intercept Tommy, but it was too late.

"Thomas!"

Tommy froze in the doorway as Carmen sashayed over to him.  Kim didn't know how he kept from grimacing as his erstwhile pursuer wrapped him in an effusive hug.  She noticed Tommy's gaze dart her way as he went through the motions of returning the embrace, and she mouthed a silent apology.

"Hello, Carmen," he replied, disentangling himself from her arms.

"Is that any way to greet an old friend?" the vivacious woman queried with a mock pout.  "It is good to see you again.  You are looking good . . . _very_ good."  As she spoke, Carmen circled around him, making no attempt at being subtle in her scoping him out.

"Oh puh-lease!" Maggie groaned softly, rolling her eyes as Kim was sure Tommy wished he could.  It was so hard to stifle her giggle, but she just couldn't laugh at poor Tommy.

"You're looking good, too, Carmen," Tommy responded politely.  "What brings you back to the north side of town?"

"It was so boring where I was, and the people were not so nice," Carmen answered airily.  "Certainly, there was no one as _interesting_ as you around."

"I can't wait to see how he gets away from her this time," Maggie sniggered.

"Maggie," Kim chided.  She really did feel sorry for Tommy.  Even when they had been dating, he always tried to be polite when turning down the other girls who hit on him; he just didn't have it in him to hurt someone else's feelings if he could help it.  Kim was tempted to help extricate him from his predicament, but she wasn't sure she should interfere.

"Carmen, please," Tommy sighed, removing her hands from where they had wandered across his chest.  "I think you and I need to have a little talk."

"Oh?" Carmen purred, her face lighting up hopefully.  "About what?"

"I think you know, but this isn't the best place."

"Outside, perhaps?"

"Sure."  However, instead of heading towards the door, Tommy turned to Kim.  "Would you excuse me for a moment?"

"Okay," Kim stammered as she and Maggie traded astonished glances.  As Carmen took Tommy's arm and headed for the exit, remarkably enough, Maggie started after them.  "Maggie, what are you doing!" Kim gasped, grabbing for her elbow to hold her back.  "You're not going to eavesdrop, are you?"  Maggie didn't strike her as the sort to do that type of thing.

Maggie blushed sheepishly.  "I know I shouldn't but . . . ."

"Maggie!"

"I can't help it," she said defensively.  "This whole business with Tommy and Carmen has been a major conversation piece at the coffee shop ever since he first helped her out.  Matt's sure Tommy's going to get nabbed sooner or later--that man is so annoying sometimes.  He always seems to have the low down on anything that happens; for a change, I get to scoop Matt."

Kim wasn't sure what to do.  On the one had, Tommy wanted to speak with Carmen privately; if he was going to do what she thought he was, he wanted to do it in a way that wouldn't embarrass Carmen.  However, she really was as curious as Maggie to know what was being said.  Kim was hit with a sudden inspiration; it was the sort of thing she and Aisha would have done way back when.  "Here," she said, thrusting a laundry basket at Maggie, who looked at the it puzzledly.  "You can help me load the truck," Kim said pointedly, nodding toward the window.  Carmen and Tommy were standing right by the vehicle.

"Right," Maggie agreed as understanding dawned, and she flashed Kim a conspiratorially grateful smile.  The two adjusted their burdens and headed for the door.

". . . I'm not interested; I never have been," Tommy was saying as Kim and Maggie came out.  Neither he nor Carmen seemed to notice the pair.  "I never meant to make you believe otherwise."

"But why?" Carmen pursued in obvious surprise.

"Maggie," Kim hissed, elbowing her companion who was lingering way too long by the truck.  "Come on; there are a couple more baskets," and Kim had to practically drag her back inside the laundromat.  "You aren't very good at this sneaky stuff, are you?"

"Never was; too bold for my own good when I was a kid," Maggie conceded.  She cast a quick glance behind her.  "I can't believe it; he actually told her off!"

"Isn't that what you wanted him to do?" Kim queried with a knowing smile as she loaded up another basket with the unfold sheets and towels.  She'd take care of them at home.

"Yes, but I never imagined that he would."

"What surprises me the most is that she doesn't seem to be too upset about it," Kim observed.  "From the way you talked, I got the impression that no man has ever told her 'no.'"

"That's what Matt says."  Maggie chuckled softly.  "Poor Matt; he was so sure Tommy would . . . ."

". . . try to break to the news to him gently; Matt doesn't handle disappointment too well."

Kim nearly burst out laughing as Maggie, thoroughly embarrassed at having been found out, blushed at Tommy's words.

"I'll finish loading the truck," Tommy said as if nothing untoward had happened.  "You've already done enough for one afternoon."

Kim caught the mischievous twinkle in his eyes; he'd been more amused by their blatant attempt at eavesdropping than anything else.

"He really knows we were listening?" Maggie gulped.

"Uh huh.  Well, we weren't exactly subtle," Kim consoled her.

"Would you like to know why Thomas did what he did?" came the throaty query.  The two turned to find Carmen regarding them with as much amused tolerance as Tommy had--a pose worthy of any mother.

"Can I go crawl in a hole now?" Maggie moaned under her breath.

"Another woman," Carmen continued.  "All this time it has been another woman he has loved."  She shook her head.  "Ah, to be so loved by a man that neither time nor distance could make his heart falter."

Kim felt as if someone had just knocked the wind out of her.  Carmen couldn't possibly mean her--could she?  Kat was far away, too, and Tommy hadn't seen her in a long time, but . . . .

"Do not apologize," Carmen said dismissively to Maggie; Kim had completely missed Maggie's comment.  "I know why you came out.  Thomas is your friend, and you worry about him as if he was your son.  To have such friends is good."

Kim suddenly felt Carmen's dark-eyed gaze on her.  The woman regarded her thoughtfully, almost as if she was taking her measure.  When the moment of scrutiny had passed, Carmen simply shook her head as if in disbelief.

"You are a very lucky woman," she said at last.  "When Thomas speaks of you, his eyes smile.  Such joy.  Such love."  Carmen walked off without another word, leaving Kim stunned and speechless.

"She's right, you know," Maggie added, turning her attention to her now-finished washer.

"Mommy, are you ready to go?" Olivia called out.  "Tommy says the truck is all loaded."

"Yes, Sweetie, Mommy is ready," Kim confirmed, absently scooping Olivia into her arms.

"Mommy, is something wrong?"

"I'm not sure."

* * *

"Whatcha doing?" Olivia queried, quizzically regarding Tommy as she stood in the bathroom doorway.

"Shaving," Tommy answered, pausing his razor in mid-stroke.  "Getting rid of those 'prickles' you don't like."

"Good."  Uninvited, Olivia wandered into the small bathroom and made herself comfortable on the closed lid of the toilet seat.  "I don't like your face all prickly."

_Your mom never did either_, Tommy reflected wryly.

"What's that white stuff on your face?  It looks like frosting."

"It's shaving cream."  Tommy deposited a fingerful on the tip of Olivia's nose, which caused her to giggle.  "Doesn't your mom use something like this on her legs?"

"Oh, yeah!"

Olivia continued watching intently as Tommy finished up the last few strokes and began rinsing his face.

"So, are you already for Nanna Jan?" Tommy asked, reaching for the aftershave.  Kim was at work already since she wanted to take off early.  Until Kim could pick up Olivia, Tommy's mom was going to watch her "almost" granddaughter.

"I sure am--except for brushing my hair.  It's too tangly for me to do all by myself."

"I'm just about done here, Princess."

"That smells good; can I try some?" Olivia requested.  Grinning, Tommy poured a little aftershave into her palm, and she slapped it on her cheeks just as Tommy had.

"So, how do I look?" Tommy queried impishly.  "Am I all set for class?"

"Silly!  You need your gi, not your bathrobe!" Olivia laughed, "and your hair is all messy."

"Guess I forgot a few things.  Well, why don't we finish you up first."

Olivia grabbed his hand and tugged him toward her bedroom.

"So, why is your mom taking off early today?" Tommy asked as he grabbed the brush.

"I can't tell; it's top secret," Olivia announced oh-so-seriously.

Tommy had a fair idea of what was going on.  Olivia had gotten very excited last night when Kim told her that his birthday was coming up.

"Can you put my hair in a fancy braid?" Olivia requested as she positioned herself between Tommy's knees as he sat on the side of the bed facing the mirrored dresser.

"Sure thing, Princess."  As Tommy began detangling the girls's hair, he found himself studying their reflections, noting how uncanny their superficial resemblances were, and once again he found himself wishing that Olivia had been his child.  _I'd like nothing better than for the three of us to be a real family, Princess.  I want you and your mom to stay here with me always.  I love your mom so much, I just wish I could tell her, but I'm afraid she would . . . ._

"We were talking about grandparents in school yesterday," Olivia declared, interrupting his train of thought.

"Is that so?"

"Uh huh.  Grandparents are your mommy and daddy's mommy and daddy."

"That's right, Princess."

"Does everybody have grandparents?"

"Yes."

"Do you have grandparents?"

"My Grandma Sarah is the only one still alive; the others all died a long time ago."

"Do I have a grandma and grandpa?"

"Of course you do.  There's  Nanna Jan and Grandpa Thomas . . . ."

"I don't mean 'dopted grandma and grandpa; I mean _real_ ones."

Her distinction between the two caught him by surprise.  Still, he managed to answer, "Yes, you have _real_ grandparents."

"Since we don't know who my daddy is, I guess I won't ever know his mommy and daddy," Olivia remarked crestfallenly.

"Probably not, hon."  Tommy put the finishing touches on Olivia's braid then pulled her into a hug.

"That's okay.  It makes me just like you," Olivia said bravely, and Tommy felt something stinging the corners of his eyes as he held her tighter.  "Hey, Tommy, can I brush your hair now?"

Tommy gave a long suffering sigh as he handed over the brush.  Olivia was definitely her mother's daughter; however, while she had Kim's old enthusiasm for playing with his hair, she certainly didn't have Kim's skill--as he had learned the first time Olivia "brushed" his hair.

"Are Mommy's mommy and daddy still alive?" Olivia asked, resuming their conversation.

"Yes."

"Then how come we never see them?  How come Mommy never talks about them?"

_She's done it to you again, _Tommy chided himself, recalling the last heart-to-heart he had gotten conned into.  With any luck, this one would be easier to get out of.

"That's hard to say; I know your mom really misses her parents and would like to see them again.  I know she wants them to see you."

"Then why can't we?"

"Your mom's parents are divorced.  Grandpa Ken lives in Seattle, and Grandma Caroline lives in Paris--that's in a whole other country."

"Wow!"

"You also have an Uncle Kenny; he's your mom's brother just like David is my brother."

"Really?  How come Mommy never told me?  Did something bad happen like with my daddy?"

Tommy tried not to wince as the brush hit a snag--or was he really wincing at Olivia's query?  This time, there wasn't as cut-and-dried an explanation.  He knew what had happened, but he didn't know why--especially, he didn't know why Kim hadn't tried getting in touch with her family after all this time, and Olivia was too smart for his own comfort.  She'd want a reason.  However, as he struggled to give the girl some kind of answer, he heard the buzz of the doorbell.

"I bet that's Nanna Jan!" Olivia cried, tossing aside the brush and her questions--to Tommy's relief--in her eagerness to answer the door..

_Thank you, Mom!_  

*

"I'll get the dishes," Tommy offered, taking the plates from Kim.  "You look like Olivia ran you ragged today."

"You don't know the half of it," Kim sighed tiredly.

"I guess she inherited your ability to shop-til-you-drop," Tommy teased.

"Who said anything about shopping?" Kim returned nonchalantly.

  Tommy could tell her innocent tone was feigned, and he did his best to hide his smile.  "The park, then?" he suggested, all innocence himself.

"Uh huh . . . and I thought we liked the park as kids!  We ran into one of her little friends there."

"Min?"

"No, Suzanna, I think.  We wound up staying longer than I had intended, then we walked Suzanna home.  What a zoo!"

"Does Suzanna have a lot of brothers and sisters?"

"Huh?  Oh, no.  There was a block-wide yard sale going on.  That place was a mad house; I was glad we weren't driving.  Walking was bad enough."

While Kim hadn't quite regained her former shopping ways, Tommy had noticed that she took quite an interest in bargain hunting at yard sales.  He just barely managed to keep a smile off his face.  It was time to pursue another topic.  "So, what movie was that you brought home?"

"_Anastasia._  We found it at the yard sale," Kim answered.  "The girls spotted it, and Suzanna said it was all about a girl who didn't know she was a princess, so of course Olivia wanted to see it.  It was only a couple of bucks, so I figured what the heck."

"Doesn't sound like anything recent," Tommy mused.  Once, he wouldn't have known a thing about kids' movies; Olivia was broadening his animation horizons.

"It isn't.  It came out on video about three years ago."

"Mommy, can we start my movie now?" Olivia requested.

"Go on; I'll join you guys in a minute."

The dishes didn't take very long (they never did when _he_ cooked), so Tommy only missed the first ten minuets or so.

"What's this about again?" Tommy queried as he flopped down on the couch.

"Sh!" Olivia shushed.

"You've heard the story of Anastasia, haven't you--how this woman swore she was the daughter of the last Russian Tsar and somehow survived the Revolution," Kim began.  "This is based on that.  Anastasia survived but got separated from her grandmother, so everyone is looking for her to collect the reward her grandmother is offering."

It was enough for him to pick up on what was going on and settle into watching the show.  As Anya began singing her first number, Tommy reflected on how ironic it was that the film was about searching for families, and he wondered if Kim picked up on the significance of that.

_Home. Love. Family._

_There was once a time I must have had them, too._

_Home. Love. Family._

_I will never be complete until I find you._

Tommy glanced over at Kim, and by the suspicious glittering on her eyelashes, he knew that she had.

*

"Hey, are you okay?" Tommy asked as Kim returned from tucking Olivia in; Kim had been rather subdued all evening.

"Yeah," she sighed heavily and absently sank down on the couch.  "Remember when you said Olivia ought to be a pro tackle?  Forget that.  She's going to be a prosecuting attorney."

"More tough questions?" he asked, fully sympathetic.

"She was asking about her grandparents."

"I wondered if she might.  She interrogated me about them, too."

"What did you tell her?"

"Not much.  Mom arrived and rescued me," Tommy answered with a smile.  "What about you?"

"This was even harder than talking about the attack," Kim confessed.  Tommy recalled that Kim had sat Olivia down for a talk the day after he had tried to answer her questions.  "All I could think to tell her was that we had had a fight and hadn't spoken in a very long time.  Then she wanted to know why we hadn't made up."

"It _is_ a good question," Tommy ventured delicately.

"I know.  I'd always hoped that maybe mom would call or write or something, but she never has."

"Why haven't you called her?"

"I've thought about it," Kim confessed sadly.  "That first year I don't know how many times I picked up the phone then put it back.  As much as I wanted to, I just couldn't.  I was hurt and angry and . . . ."

". . . and scared that if you reached out, she'd hurt you all over again?" Tommy asked kindly.

Kim's answer was a very tiny, "yes."

"You had a right to feel all those things, but don't you think it's time you let it go?"

"I know I should, but . . . ."  Kim let out a long breath.  "Every time I think of getting in touch with her, I think of what she said, and I'm afraid that she'll misunderstand and think that I'm asking for help and get mad all over again."

"You're still afraid she'll hurt you."

Kim hung her head.  "I feel like such a coward!"

Tommy put a hand on her shoulder.  "You're not a coward; never think that."

Kim wiped her eyes and gave Tommy's hand a squeeze.  After an extended silence, she tearfully asked, "What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why'd she get so mad at me?  I didn't ask to be raped or get pregnant--I wanted to try for the Pan Globals as much as she wanted me to . . . ."

"I wish I knew, Kim."

"W-when Aisha first told you what happened, how did you react?"

Tommy thought for a moment--not about his feelings; he remembered those clearly enough, but about how much he _should_ tell her.  He decided to be totally honest with her.  "Remember what a mess I was after I first lost my Green Ranger powers?  Angry one minute, depressed the next?  Condense the time period and multiply the intensity by about a hundred, and you might come close to the uproar I was in when Aisha told me--although, I seriously doubt that would even touch what you felt at the time.

"The first thing I went through was denial.  It was awful; when Aisha started telling me the story, I could see the end coming.  I remember wanting to throttle her--to shut her up somehow, as if that would have kept what happened from being true.  When she finally said the words . . . I was so angry; I can't even begin to describe . . . .  All I know is that if I could have gotten my hands on one of those guys at that instant, I'd have killed him without a second thought, without a regret."  Kim's eyes widened in surprise at that; even he could tell how cold his tone had become.  Actually, it was rather unnerving to know that he could feel such hatred, but he meant what he said, and he could see that she saw it, too, and was a little frightened by it.  "When the blackness faded, it hurt . . . oh man, Kim, I hurt so much for you; to be honest, I cried in Aisha's arms."  He let out a sigh and ran his hands through his hair, gathering his composure.  He hadn't realized it'd be so difficult to talk about _his_ feelings.  "There were a lot of other things, too: helplessness, guilt, failure . . . I felt responsible . . . ."

"Why?  It wasn't your fault; there wasn't anything you could done."

"I know it doesn't make sense.  I just felt like I had let you down . . . that I had failed to protect you.  You'd probably feel the same way if something happened to Olivia even if you _knew_ there was nothing you could have done."

Kim considered his words.  "Well, mom certainly went through denial and anger, but do you think that she went through the other emotions, too?"

"I'd be more surprised if she hadn't.  I'm sure she blames herself to some degree; after all, she's the one who let you stay in Angel Grove when she moved to Paris and then let you move to Florida to chase a dream.  I really don't think she was angry with you, just the situation in general; I think she was just lashing out in the heat of the moment, and unfortunately, you were in the line of fire and bore the brunt of it."

"If she hadn't meant to do what she did, then why hasn't she ever tried to apologize or anything?"

"Why did you have such a hard time facing me at Aisha's wedding?" Tommy asked in return.

His query took Kim by surprise.  "I--I was scared," she admitted at last.  "I was so afraid that you'd hate me for hurting you the way I did, and I couldn't bear to . . . ."  Comprehension suddenly dawned.

"I bet your mom is scared to reach out to you for the same reasons," Tommy said quietly.

"So, what happens now?" Kim asked plaintively.

"Kim, can you really forgive her for what she did to you, what she put you through?"

"She's my mother!" she insisted as if that was all the explanation needed.  "Maybe she hurt me, but I still love her, and I miss her.  I want Olivia to know her grandmother, and...."

"Then you may have to be the one to take the risk and reach out to her first," Tommy pointed out.  Kim seemed to shrink back as if frightened.  "I know it isn't an easy thing to do, but if you love her and want her back in your life, you have to let her know that you still care.  Offer her your hand and see if she takes it."

*

The following morning, Kim sat on the couch, her address book clutched tightly in her hands.  She stared at the phone as if to will it to ring.  Tommy's words from the previous evening echoed through her thoughts: _"I know it isn't an easy thing to do . . . you have to let her know that you still care . . . ."_

_Just like you did._

The similarity between their situations had hit her like a bolt of lightning during the middle of the night, and she hadn't slept much afterwards.  Tommy hadn't known at first why she had hurt him--only that she had, but he had still offered her and her daughter his friendship, and after he knew the truth, he hadn't turned away from her.  He could have been bitter and angry; instead, he held his hand out to her . . . a hand she had been almost too scared to accept--almost.  In her heart she knew that more than anything she had wanted to accept what he offered.  Could it really be the same way with her mother?  She wanted to believe that so badly . . . .

"How about a cup of sludge?"

Kim nearly leaped off the couch.  She looked up to find Tommy standing beside her, holding out a cup of steaming coffee.  "You're up awful early," she stammered as she accepted the mug.  Taking a tentative sip, she noticed that the "sludge" was actually pretty decent this morning; he really was getting better at making coffee.

"I could say the same thing about you," he said in reply, pulling up the desk chair and joining her.  "Couldn't sleep either?"

"Too much to think about."

"Like what time it is in Paris right now?"

"Maybe.  Tommy, if I call . . . what do I say to her after all this time?"

Tommy shook his head.  "I can't help you there, but I had an idea about how you could find out how your mom feels before you actually call her."

"Really?  How?"

"Call your brother."

"Kenny?  But . . . ."

"Why not?  I imagine he's kept in contact with your mom.  I'm sure he could tell you what's going on."

"I don't know, Tommy . . . ."

"Kenny never abandoned you; you never gave him--or your father--the chance."

Kim flinched at his words; she knew Tommy hadn't meant to be so harsh . . . but he was right.  She sighed.  "I'm sure mom told them."

"Kim, do you want your family back or not?" Tommy demanded suddenly.

Kim was surprised by the exasperation in his tone.  In all the time she'd been living with him, she had never heard him lose his patience with her--and she imagined she had sorely tested him more than this!

"I'm sorry," he apologized almost immediately.  "It's just that this is _your_ family.  I guess I don't understand.  I mean, I don't think I could just sit back and let my family fall apart without fighting with everything I had to try and keep it together."

She understood where he was coming from now.  In many ways, Tommy had always envied her her family--as disjointed as it was.  _You know who you are--where you come from._  She remembered how much he always wished he had a brother or a sister--and how much she wished she didn't have one whenever Kenny was being a jerk.  To Tommy, a family was one of the greatest gifts in the world, and it always bothered him when other people took their families for granted.  Olivia had made her appreciate that sentiment as she never had before.

Kim looked into her heart and was able to admit that she really did want to have her family back.  Now, all she needed to do was find the courage to be the one to take the first step.  She looked up at Tommy and managed a wan smile.  "You're right.  It's time someone did something about getting us back together, but . . . I'm still really scared."

"There's nothing wrong with that.  If you want me to, I'll help any way I can."

"You've already done so much that I hate to ask, but . . . do you--um--think you could dial Kenny's number for me?"  She smiled sheepishly as Tommy chuckled at her request.

"What time is it in Salt Lake City?" Tommy teased as he reached for the cordless phone and plucked the address book from her hands.

Kim said nothing, biting her lip, her heart pounding as he dialed.  When he handed her the receiver, her hands were shaking so much she nearly dropped the phone.

_The number you have dialed is no longer in service . . . ._

"He's not there any more; the phone's been disconnected," Kim murmured, fighting back tears of disappointment.  It wasn't fair!  Just when she finally got the courage to call . . . . She had always assumed that her family would be there when she was ready for them again; it was crushing to find out otherwise.

"Hey, it's been five and a half years," Tommy said consolingly.  He took the phone from her and dialed another number.

"Who are you calling?"

"Your dad."

For a moment, her eyes lit up hopefully, but almost instantly she caught his crestfallen expression.

"I guess he's moved, too," Tommy announced.

"Now what?" she asked, sniffling.

"Hey, don't let it get you down," Tommy encouraged.  "We'll find them somehow."

"Will we?" she muttered doubtfully.

"Is this something you really want to do?"

She knew without a doubt that it was.  "Yes."

"Then, we'll find a way," he promised.

* * *

"Say, is anybody thirsty?" Kim asked her companions.  She had chaperoned Olivia's class field trip to the public library and had made arrangements with Mrs. Yashida to bring Min home.

"Me!" Olivia piped up.

"Me, too!" Min chimed in.

"Can we have shakes?" Olivia queried.

"Why not.  So, where do we want to go?"

While the girls debated the issue, Kim found herself driving Tommy's truck down a familiar street.  She hadn't thought about it when she made the turn; however, before she knew it, she was pulling into the parking lot of the Youth Center.

"What's this place?" Olivia wondered.

"This is where mommy used to hang out with Tommy and her other friends after school," Kim answered.  In a way, she was a little surprised she hadn't brought Olivia here sooner.  She had spent some of her happiest days at the gym and juice bar.  Perhaps it was because of the things Tommy had told her about Ernie leaving and Lieutenant Stone taking over and how the Youth Center had lost it's popularity with the high school crowd after that.  Kim couldn't imagine the place without Ernie behind the counter; he had been the heart and soul of the Youth Center.

The trio made their way inside, and Kim was overcome by a wave of nostalgia.  This was where she had been with Jason and the others when Zordon chose them to be Power Rangers.  This had been the place where she had first laid eyes on Tommy . . . .  Her heart ached with the memories.  The juice bar hardly seemed to have changed.  She half expected to find Bulk and Skull lurking about.  Kim's first impulse was to head for the gang's old table, but she changed her mind and steered the girls towards the counter.

"Up you go," she said, swinging first Olivia then Min onto the stools, consciously making the effort not to treat Min any differently than Olivia.

"What can I get you ladies?"

Kim's head snapped up at the sound of a familiar voice, and she nearly missed the stool as she sat down.  "Ernie?  Is it really you?"

"Yup, that's me.  I . . . Kim?  Kimberly Hart?"

Before Kim knew it, Ernie had made his away around the counter and wrapped her in an enthusiastic hug.  "It's so good to see you!" she exclaimed, genuinely happy to see him if a trifle unnerved by the hug, but it was only a momentary flicker.

"Same here; you're looking great.  When'd you get back into town?"

"Only a couple of months ago.  What about you?  I heard you were supposed to have gone to South America with your old army buddies or something."

"I never made it past the physical--my heart," Ernie admitted ruefully.  "The doctor told me to come home, take some time off and take off a few pounds.  I tried taking it easy for as long as I could, but I just couldn't stay away any longer.  I missed this place too much."

Kim thought Ernie looked like he'd lost some weight.  "Tommy said the juice bar wasn't the same without you," she said kindly.

"You've seen Tommy recently?  How is he?  Have you heard from any of the others?" Ernie questioned eagerly.

"Mommy and I live with Tommy!" Olivia said brightly.

Ernie shot her a look of complete astonishment, and Kim wanted to melt into the cracks between the tile.  She managed a brave smile as she made the introductions.  "I'd like you to meet my daughter Olivia.  Sweetie, this Ernie, an old friend."

"Hello," Olivia said politely.  "And this is my friend Min."

"It's a pleasure to meet both of you," Ernie said in his typical jovial fashion.  "Tell me what you girls want, and I'll get it.  It's on the house."

"Shakes!" both girls chorused.

"Coming right up!"

As Ernie revved up the blenders, Kim tried to fight back her feelings of discomfort and embarrassment.  She hoped that Ernie would let Olivia's comment pass; even after all this time, she still wasn't sure what to say.  She didn't want him to misunderstand or think badly of her.  Kim had never before realized just how much Ernie's opinion meant to her.

"Okay, two strawberry-vanilla swirl shakes for you guys," Ernie announced, presenting the colorful cups to the pair, "and a special Smoothie for your mom."

"Thanks, Ernie," Kim murmured quietly as a pink glass appeared before her.  She took a sip and was a little surprised to find that it had been one of her favorite flavors.  "Ernie, I...."

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Kim," Ernie said kindly, "but if you ever need a friend to talk to . . . ."

Kim was grateful for both his restraint and his offer.  "I really appreciate it."

"Just one thing . . . are you doing okay?  If you guys need anything, don't be afraid to ask."

"You're the best, Ernie," Kim said, choking up and her eyes getting misty.  Ernie always did have a heart of gold.  She remembered how he always seemed to treat the kids at the Youth Center as if they were his family.  He was always helping someone out with a problem, even if it was just with a sympathetic ear and a Smoothie to drink.

Ernie favored her with a fatherly smile then went back to wiping his counter.  "I'm just glad to hear you and Tommy are back together," he commented.  Kim started to speak, but he rambled on without letting her get a word in.  "I always thought the two of you belonged together.  Man, it about killed Tommy when he got that letter, and . . . whoops.  Sorry, Kim, I didn't mean to . . . ."

"I know," she murmured; it was her turn to offer him a forgiving smile.  He meant well.  Kim was spared further awkwardness by a timely interruption.

"Mommy, where's the bathroom?  Min's gotta go potty."

*

Kim returned to the counter after stopping to call Tommy and let him know where they were so he would worry when they weren't back when they had told him.  Olivia and Min, however, hadn't wanted to wait to return to their shakes, so she was surprised to find that the girls weren't at their seats.

"Where did Olivia and Min get to?" she asked Ernie.

"They're over there by the video games," he answered.

Kim glanced over; there was quite a crowd by the machines.  She relaxed when she spotted the two among the group.

"I suppose they won't get into too much trouble watching," she remarked.  After all, the games were in clear view and just at the opposing end of the counter.

"I have to tell you your daughter is a sharp little girl," Ernie said.  "She and Min remind me an awful lot of you and Trini."

Kim laughed.  "That's what Tommy said the first time he saw them together."

"What's Tommy up to these days?  Olivia was saying he's opened his own karate school."

"He did--about two years ago; he's really doing . . . ."  Kim was interrupted by an explosion of angry, high-pitched voices.

". . . you're so dumb!"

"Am not!"

"Everyone knows she was the lamest Ranger."

"Was not!"

"The new one is the coolest!"

"No way!"

"Turbo was . . . ."

"No, Zeo . . . ."

"Space Rangers were the best . . . ."

"What seems to be the problems, kids?" Ernie queried, jumping in to referee.

"Ernie, do you know a lot about the Power Rangers?" Olivia asked.

"Oh, about as much as anybody else, I suppose.  Why?"

"Who was the best Pink Ranger?" another girl with tight pin curls demanded.  She stuck her tongue out at Olivia.  "_She_ says it was the first one."

"No way!" another child burst in.  "The first Rangers were okay, but my dad says they were too weak; that's why they kept having to get new ones."

"And their zords were stupid," another chimed in.

"And the Pink one was the weakest of all," one of the boys interjected.

"She was not!" Olivia asserted.

Kim refrained from adding her two cents.  Part of her bristled at the claim that she was the weakest Ranger. Sure she was the shortest and she'd needed help getting out of jams on occasion, but so had the other guys on the team--even Jason and Tommy.   And she'd had more training in martial arts than Kat had when she took over.  It also wasn't fair to compare the different teams; the other's powers had been from completely different sources.  However, a little seed of doubt crept into her certainty.  For all her skill, for all the guys had taught her and she had gleaned from having the powers for so long, it hadn't been enough that one evening.  She had been as weak and small as she appeared.

"Was, too!  She's just a girl, and everybody knows girls are weaker than boys!"

"The Yellow Ranger was a girl; what about her?" Min piped up.

"The Pink Ranger was just as strong and smart and brave as any of the boy Rangers," Olivia shot.

"Take it easy, guys!" Ernie shouted above the growing din.  "Olivia has a point.  All the girl Rangers had to be as strong, smart and brave as the boys, otherwise they wouldn't have been Rangers."

"I told you," Olivia claimed smugly.

"Our teacher showed us pictures of all the Rangers, and the first Pink one was smaller than all the others!" another boy added.

"My sensei taught our class that in martial arts, size doesn't matter," yet another boy informed the gathering.

"There have been, what--five or six different teams since the Rangers first showed up?" Ernie queried.

"I thought there were more.  The first ones had Dinozords . . . ."

" . . . Thunderzords, then came the Ninjazords . . . ."

"Those were all the same Rangers, though," Ernie said.

"How do you know?"

"You could tell by body type and fighting style.  Just like there were a couple of different Zeo zords, but only one team of Zeo Rangers."

Well, Ernie was almost right, Kim mused.  Maybe the reason that the transition between Jason, Zack, and Trini to Rocky, Adam, and Aisha wasn't as noticeable was because they all had similar training and skills.  The Zeo team had kept the same five members, merely adding Jason, but the Turbo team had roster changes, and according to Tommy, most of the second generation of Turbo Rangers went on to become the Space Rangers.  As far as the current team was concerned . . . .

". . . I don't know much about the current team--they're still too new," Ernie was saying, and Kim tried to pay more attention, "but out of all the other teams, the one I have the most respect for was the original team."

"Why?" a girl asked.

"They had the hardest job because they were the first ones to be Rangers.  How did they know what to do?  They had to learn as they went along; the other teams could look back to see what the first team did in certain situations to see what worked or didn't work.  Maybe their powers weren't as strong as some of the later teams, but they still had to fight some pretty powerful monsters.  And, they didn't know whether people would accept them or not.  Maybe folks wouldn't have accepted them; maybe people would have been as scared of them as they were of the monsters."

Kim smiled; Ernie could really get into it when talking about the Rangers.  She often wondered if maybe he had known more than he had let on.  How many times had she and the gang scurried off unexpectedly or dashed into a secluded corner to teleport out?  Now that she thought about it, the odds were against him never having caught them, but if he had, he had never given them any inkling that he had known.

"But the Rangers are the good guys."

"We really didn't know that in the beginning, but we figured it out quickly enough.  A lot of people blamed the Rangers for Rita and Zedd and all the others attacking, saying if the Rangers wouldn't have been around, the bad guys would have left us alone."

"It wasn't until after Rita appeared that the Rangers did," Kim pointed out in spite of her resolve to remain silent, and Ernie nodded his confirmation.

"The other reason I've always respected that first team is that most of them served as Rangers longer than any of the others," Ernie continued with his topic.

Kim had to give that some thought.  Ernie had a point.  From Green Ranger to Red Turbo Ranger, Tommy had probably served the longest--in uniform, but he hadn't been there from the _very_ beginning.  Of the original five, Billy no doubt had the longest service record with his time behind the lines.  She had never really thought of it before, but after Billy, of the original Rangers, she probably had the second longest career--most likely the longest stint of any of the female Rangers.

". . . I'm really proud of the job those guys did," Ernie said in conclusion.

"How do you know so much about the Rangers?" one of the enraptured audience members asked.

"Oh, I have my sources," Ernie murmured evasively and returned to wiping the counter as the group began breaking up. 

"Did you have a favorite Ranger, Ernie?" Olivia wondered as she clambered back onto the stool next to Kim.

"Sure.  I always liked the Green Ranger because he was able to change from being evil to good; he kept fighting even when his powers got weak, and I'm pretty sure he was the one who became the White Ranger."

Kim gave a start and nearly spit out her drink.  The only way Ernie could have known that was if he'd known who they were!  Almost as if he had read her thoughts, Ernie cast a knowing look in her direction.

"And I've always felt the first Pink Ranger was really special," he went on to say.  "Just like you said, Olivia, she was as smart, strong, and brave as any of her teammates, and she had a heart as big as the Megazord."

Kim blushed and ducked her head, finding his words a bit unsettling, wondering if she really deserved them.

"I also know of a few times when the Pink Ranger saved all the other Rangers."

"Really?" Olivia and Min gasped, their eyes getting wide, and Kim glanced up.  Ernie's best asset may have been his ability to listen, but he could also spin a pretty mean story.  It would be interesting to see what his take on their exploits had been.

"There was this one time when this giant toad swallowed all the other Rangers . . . ."

*

"How'd it go at the Youth Center," Tommy queried when he popped upstairs to grab a quick bite to eat on his dinner break.

"Olivia and Min can hardly wait for me to take them back," Kim responded, absently staring into the bottom of her soda glass as she sat at the kitchen table.

"Did something happen there?  You look a little distracted."

"It's nothing, really.  Did you know Ernie is running the place again?"

"Really?  That's great!  When did he get back?"

"He never left; he took off for health reasons."

"He's okay, now, isn't he?"

"He's doing really good."

"The next time you guys go, can I tag along?"

"Sure.  By the way, Tommy, Ernie knows we were the Power Rangers."  Kim smiled when she saw Tommy's flabbergasted expression.

"He does?  Well, I suppose it does kind of make sense; he never used to get bent out of shape when we were running off all the time--sometimes forgetting to pay for our drinks until we got back.  How'd you find out?" Tommy asked.

"Olivia and some of the other kids got into a big debate over which Power team was the best.  Ernie said some things that he couldn't have known about unless he had known who we were."

"I figure Olivia defended the original team; which one did you stick up for?"

"I stayed out of it; I just couldn't bring myself to . . . ."

"Someone said something that really bothered you, huh?"

"You could say that."  Tommy was waiting for her to elaborate, and she sighed.  "I wonder . . . Olivia and Ernie were saying that I had to be as strong, smart, and brave as any of the rest of you, but I don't know if I ever really was.  It sure doesn't seem like it."

"You were, Kim; trust me."

"Maybe when I was morphed, with the power to protect me and all, but without it . . . ."

". . . you were every bit as strong as you were with it."

Kim just looked at him doubtfully; Tommy's gaze held hers and when he spoke again, it was with quiet sincerity.

"You were strong enough to fight your attackers and were smart enough to know when that wasn't a viable option anymore, and you were brave enough to make the sacrifice necessary to save the life of a friend and teammate--just like you did when you were a Ranger."

Tears threatened, and Kim ducked her head to hide them.  "I never thought of it like that."

"Your greatest strengths have always been your heart and spirit. The morphing powers didn't give you those qualities; you've had them all along," Tommy assured her,  "and they're still inside you; you just have to learn to believe in yourself again."

"Thanks, Tommy."  She wiped at her eyes.  "How come you always seem to know the right thing to say to make me feel better?"

His demeanor remained sincere.  "Because I believe in you.  Because I care."

* * *

"Is it time to open presents?" Olivia gushed as she hurried through the door, practically flattening Tommy in the process.

"She's so excited, you'd think this was her birthday," Tommy chuckled.

"She has been going nuts waiting for yours to get here," Kim confided.

The trio had just returned from dinner at Tommy's favorite Mexican restaurant.  To Kim's embarrassment and Olivia's sheer delight, Tommy had proudly worn the birthday crown she had made for him through the entire meal.  Really, it looked a lot better than the silly sombrero the waitress had brought out for him to wear while the staff sang.

Before Tommy had the door closed behind him, Olivia sped down the hall and back again; she wore her own birthday crown and had retrieved Kim's old party hat.

"It's the rules, Mommy," Olivia insisted, handing her the headwear, and Kim obliged by donning her hat.  "Oh boy, Tommy, I can't wait for you to see your presents!"

"Aren't we supposed to sing 'Happy Birthday' and blow out the candles first?" Kim queried.

"Oh, yeah, that's right," Olivia pouted.  "Okay, Tommy, you sit down, and me and Mommy will bring the cake out."

"I thought the birthday boy was supposed to get to order everyone else around," Tommy muttered with a good-natured grin.

"You hush; we'll call you when we're ready for you," Kim ordered as the two disappeared into the kitchen.

Tommy took his hat off for a moment and shook his hair out.  He smiled wonderingly at the creation; it was quite a sight!  As he had, Olivia had used a Burger King crown and decorated it with paint, glitter, pieces of paper, buttons, feathers, and other baubles; however, his favorite decoration was the big heart on the front that read "Happy Birthday, Tommy.  We love you. Kim and Olivia" all done in Olivia's handwriting.

"Okay, Tommy!" Olivia called as she emerged from the kitchen; he had barely gotten up off the couch when she grabbed his hand and started pulling him along.  "Close your eyes."

"If I do that, how am I going to find the kitchen?" he protested.

"That's why I'm holding your hand."

Tommy complied and allowed himself to be led into the next room--not without running into a few corners in the process.  He was grateful to feel Kim guiding him into a chair.

"Can I open my eyes yet?"

"All right."

He opened one a tiny bit, cautiously looked around then opened the other, a performance which had Olivia giggling.  It even had Kim smiling.  

"Do you like your cake?" Olivia queried eagerly.

Tommy regarded the mini inferno; why did they have to put all twenty-three candles on?  The perimeter of the white-frosted cake was lined with candles, making it look like a blazing stockade fence on a snowy field.  Stationed within the wax ring were six plastic figurines--six Power Rangers.  Tommy wondered where they had found the toys; he hadn't seen any like that in years.  Towering over them was a creature made of Leggos, and in one of the corners in red and green frosting were the words "Happy Birthday."

"Mommy put the frosting on, and I put on the decorations," Olivia piped up before Tommy could say anything.

"Pretty impressive; I really like the monster."

"That's the Megazord!"

"If you don't blow out the candles soon, we're liable to set off the fire alarm," Kim scolded playfully.

"Just you wait until your birthday," Tommy warned mischievously.  He reached out to arm himself with sweet ammunition.

"Don't you dare," Kim snapped, slapping his hand away.  "Remember the rules--no snitching frosting until the candles are blown out."

Tommy just laughed.  "Do I get the song first?"

Olivia serenaded him with great enthusiasm, and Kim snapped the pictures as he extinguished the candles with one deep breath.  Olivia made quite a show of coughing and fanning the smoke away.

"Did you remember to make a wish?" she asked as she began helping Kim pull the candles out.

"Of course I did."

"What'd you wish for?"

"I can't tell; if I did, my wish wouldn't come true."  Just as Tommy tried for the frosting again, Olivia planted a creamy smear across his face.

"Gotcha first!" she giggled.

Tommy went for the second strike, only to be smeared by Kim on his blind side.  Kim assumed an angelic expression, and Olivia practically fell off her chair because she was laughing so hard.  Quick as a wink, Tommy managed to retaliate.

"Okay, why don't we cut the cake before this gets out of hand," Kim advised, retreating.

"You're no fun," Tommy pouted.

"You want to argue with a woman holding a sharp object?  Go right ahead," was Kim's retorted as she returned with a cake knife.

"It's really good cake, Tommy," Olivia declared.  "Mommy let me lick the spoon when she made it.  Mm!"

"Boy, I'm jealous."  Kim handed him the first piece; he was a little surprised that the cake was chocolate.  Neither he nor Kim were big chocolate eaters, even though she really liked hot cocoa and he had a weakness for Mrs. Bilinsky's cookies.  He noticed Kim's anxious expression and realized she was waiting for him to take a bite.  He didn't understand why she should be nervous about how the cake turned out; it was pretty hard to ruin a box cake--although, he had managed to do it.  Still, he obliged and took a fork full.  One bite was enough to tell him that it was no box cake.  

"Did you make this from scratch?" he asked around his mouthful.

"Is it okay?" she asked eagerly.

"It's wonderful!  You know what this tastes like?  Mrs. Bilinsky's double chocolate cookies with . . . ."  He paused as something else tickled his tastebuds.  ". . . raspberry?"

"It should since I asked Mrs. Bilinsky for the recipe," Kim replied with quiet pride.

"Mrs. Bilinsky parted with her prized recipe?"

"You said those were your favorite cookies; when I asked her if she could bake some for you, she told me she had a cake recipe, too, so I thought I'd try it."

"This is awesome, Kim."

"Is it time for the presents?" Olivia interjected, bouncing in her seat.

"You can go get them, Sweetie," Kim said.  As she dashed off, Kim added, "She's been so excited about them; I really don't know how she managed to keep them a secret."

Olivia returned a few moments later with two brightly wrapped packages.

"Which one should I open first?" Tommy wondered.

"Mommy's" Olivia declared, to Kim's obvious surprise.

Tommy regarded both gifts.  One was a neat rectangle-shaped package that felt rather like a book.  The other was a rather lumpy bulge with almost more tape than paper.  He set that one aside.

"How'd you know that one was from Mommy?" the girl wondered, mystified.

"Lucky guess," he replied.  He glance up at Kim as he carefully slipped his finger under the tape at one end.  Her expression was an amusing mixture of hopeful anxiety and excited eagerness as she worried her lower lip between her teeth.  Impishly, he prolonged her agony by taking his time with the paper.

"You are so mean," Kim hissed when she realized what he was doing.

"Hurry up, Tommy," Olivia urged.

"When you only have two presents, you have to make them last," Tommy retorted.  However, the suspense finally became too much for him, and he tore the remainder of the paper off.  Inside was an envelope and a binder.  He looked to Kim for a clue as to which one he should look in first; she merely shrugged as if to say "it's you're choice."  Tommy opted for the envelope.  Inside, he found about a dozen trading cards; as he flipped through them, his smile became an look of pure astonishment.  "Magic Johnson, Kareem... Kim, where did you . . . how did you . . . ?"

"They should be the right ones; I made sure to have your list with me," she said.

"They are, but how . . . ."  Every card in his hands was both rare and expensive; his uncle had been looking for these cards for years!  There was no way Kim could have afforded even one of them.  When Kim didn't offer any further information, Tommy turned his attention to the binder.  More cards from various teams . . . it took Tommy a little while to realize the significance of the cards in the pages.  "These are all rookie cards!"

"When we were at that block-wide yard sale, there was this woman who was selling a bunch of sports cards and things," Kim explained.  "That's where I found all those Lakers cards.  When Olivia mentioned that we were buying them for a birthday present, the woman offered me the binder.  Even I recognized some of the names, so I figured those were some pretty important players."

"Didn't she know what she had?  She could have sold these to Pete at the Sports Card shop and gotten quite a bit of money for them."

"I told her that, but she said she didn't care about the money; she wanted them to go to someone who was going to enjoy them as much as her son had--I think he had passed away or something."

"This is just incredible; I can't wait to show Uncle John . . . . Thank you!"  Tommy hopped up from his seat and wrapped Kim in a jubilant hug.  He held her tightly for several moments before he realized what he was doing and that Kim's body was stiff in his embrace.  He felt like kicking himself; Kim looked a little shaken as he released her without ceremony.  "Kim, I'm . . . ."

"Open mine!" Olivia insisted, interrupting his apology.

Judging from Kim's expression, Tommy thought it best not to make a big deal about the hug.  "At once," he said instead as Olivia thrust her gift into his hands.  "You did a good job of wrapping this."  The girl just beamed with pride. He tried to use the same care he had when opening Kim's present, but that proved nigh impossible.  Once he ripped away the bear-bedecked paper, he found himself as shocked as when he saw Kim's gift.

It was a White Ranger action figure with a Falcon Zord.  He hadn't seen one of those in ages.  They had shown up on the market right after they had gotten their Ninja powers and had sold out quickly.  People clamored for more, but the manufacturer had never released a second series--to the disappointment of the customers and the delight of collectors.

"Where'd you find this?" Tommy wondered.  The toys had been both flattering and embarrassing at the time.  They had been good likenesses.  Tommy would never admit it to any of the others, but he had tried to get a hold of one of his namesake's toys--sort of as a keepsake for the days when his career was over. However, he had never had any luck.

"At the same sale--different yard," Kim revealed.

"Mommy said you always liked the White Ranger, and you like falcons, so I wanted to get it for you," Olivia elaborated.

Tommy noticed that Kim was blushing.  "Princess, it's wonderful," he said, sweeping her into a hug.  "Thank you both for a wonderful birthday."

"Do you think that maybe sometime I could play with your White Ranger?" Olivia asked.  "Y'see, Mommy found the Pink Ranger for me . . . ."

Kim's blushed deepened, and Tommy laughed.  "We'll see, Princess."

"Now, it's time for someone to go to bed," Kim announced.

"Aw . . . but I'm not tired," Olivia protested, but she went with Kim without too much of a fight.

Tommy took the opportunity to wander into the living room.  He removed a wooden box from the top of the bookcase.  It was one of his most cherished possessions; Sam had given it to him shortly after he and David first met.  Their father had carved the box, and their mother had painted the designs on it.  David had one just like it; this one had belonged to Sam, but he wanted Tommy to have it.  Tommy stored in it the things he treasured most: pictures of both his biological and adoptive parents, his old communicator, a copy of the song Kim had written for him, and a Pink Ranger figurine to match the White Ranger he'd just received.

*

Kim sighed as she emerged from the bedroom; Olivia had _finally_ settled down to sleep.  She was beginning to think the child was never going to stop bouncing around; she had been just too excited.  Olivia was so pleased that Tommy had liked their presents and the cake; truth be told, she was pretty happy about that herself.  She spied Tommy laying on the couch, his party crown still perched on his head.  She was glad that she had been able to return a little of the happiness that he had given to her and her daughter.  Just the look in his eyes . . . .

She wandered over to the couch as if to wake him and send him to his bed as he was sprawled out on the short sofa most uncomfortably, but she paused and just looked at him as he dozed.  In a way, he reminded her of Olivia when she slept.  It was that same something that drew her to her daughter and made her want to touch her hair and stroke her cheek and whisper sweet, soothing words as she watched her sleep.  Those moments always made Kim realize just how precious Olivia was and how much she meant to her.  She felt the same thing for Tommy right now.  She reached out as if to brush her fingers over his soft, silky hair, but she stopped herself.  Retreating a bit, she wrapped her arms around herself as if to ward off a chill.  What was she thinking?  She shouldn't . . . .

Kim found herself missing the old days.  Tommy used to be so affectionate--even before they were officially a couple: a soft smile, a pat on the shoulder, a hug for no reason . . . .  Oh, he still did some of those things, but it wasn't the same.  Things were more restrained, almost as if he was going through the motions without the feelings.  

_What about the hug he gave you tonight?_

The emotion he had shown when he hugged her had taken her by surprise; it was as if, for a moment, he had forgotten that things weren't the way they used to be between them. Kim felt her bottom lip trembling.  The embrace hadn't lasted very long; she had just started to relax into it when Tommy seemed to recover himself.  It had just felt so good....

"Why won't you hold me?" Kim whispered, a tear sliding down her cheek.  "Is it because I'm . . . unclean somehow that you hardly ever touch me?"  Fighting back further tears, Kim fled into the kitchen.

She was so intent on her thoughts as she put away the cake and washed the dishes that she wasn't aware she was no longer alone until she felt a gentle touch on her arm.  She gasped, started, and spun around to find Tommy standing close behind her.  He was so near . . . she felt herself cowering back against the sink.

"T-Tommy," she stammered, trying to settle her rapidly pounding heart.

"This is why, Kim," Tommy said quietly, his smile tinged with sadness as he took a step away from her.

"Why--what?"

"It's not that I don't want to touch or hold you," he began, and the heat flared hot in Kim's cheeks; she hadn't realized that Tommy hadn't been asleep.  "Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep from touching you sometimes?  When I see you in pain, or when you smile and you're happy . . . but whenever I get close to you--like just now--I can see how scared you are.  Even the lightest brush makes you tense up like a bow string."

Kim wanted to deny it, but she couldn't.  Even now her muscles were still tightly clenched.  She hung her head as bitter tears slipped from her eyes.  "It's not fair!" she cried.  "Why won't this just go away and let me get on with my life!"

"Like with any other wound, the scar will always be with you," Tommy said gently.  "It won't ever go away, but it will fade with time. Right now, you're going through a lot of things you haven't had to face before, and there are no more gymnasium walls to hide behind.  It's going to take a little time and effort, but you can get through this."

Kim buried her face in her hands as she continued to cry.  "It's just not fair!  I'm so tired of being afraid . . . I don't want to be afraid of you!  I want you to hold me and tell me everything will be all right, that this nightmare will be over someday--just like you used to."

Then, to her amazement, Tommy reached out and tilted her chin up.  He looked into her tear-filled eyes and smiled reassuringly.  The breath caught in her throat as she felt his arms go around her.  To her sorrow, she experienced a moment of panic, and her body went rigid as she felt the embrace tighten.  She was consumed with this overpowering urge to break free, and briefly she was glad her arms were trapped against her chest--a barrier between their bodies.  When she realized all this, she began sobbing harder; she just could not relax into his embrace--and he knew it, too.

However, he didn't let go.  He continued to hold her and let her cry.  At some point, Kim's arms had relaxed; she discovered that she had Tommy's shirt clutched tightly in each fist.  She became aware of Tommy's hand softly stroking her hair--she always used to love it when he did that.  She felt his cheek resting against the top of her head, and under her own she felt his warmth and heard the steady, soothing beating of his heart.  She remembered standing on the beach like that--for hours it seemed--neither of them would speak as they watched the sun go down and the stars come out, and it had always made her feel so safe, so loved.  That's all he did now, and slowly, Kim's tears and trembling began to subside.  To her joy, she was able to release his shirt and slide her hands around his waist.

Kim couldn't have said how long they stood there like that, but it seemed like hours and yet not nearly long enough.

"Kim, I . . . ." Tommy began hesitantly. 

 Kim could feel the tension in his body now; it caused her to look up to see what was in his eyes.

"I wasn't going to say anything . . . . I don't want to make you uncomfortable or hurt you or anything like that, but I have to . . . ."  He held her tighter as he seemed to seek the courage to continue, and his voice was husky and tremulous.  "I love you.  To be honest, in spite of everything, I never really stopped."

His words shook Kim to the core.  He loved her?  She wanted to say something, but she couldn't find the words as astonishment and joy bubbled within her.  However, before she could even try, Tommy placed a finger on her lips.

"You don't need to say anything," he told her.  "I don't want you to feel obligated to answer.  I know I probably shouldn't have said anything yet.  You're still hurting, and I don't ever want to do anything to cause you any more pain, but I had to tell you . . . .  Maybe it will help you in some way to know . . . . I just hope it doesn't make things worse between us.

"I know things can't be exactly like they used to be--as much as I wish they could--but that's okay.  You don't know how much it means to me that you're back in my life again.  If friendship is all we can have together, I'll take it--gladly.  I just don't ever want to lose you again."

Tommy released her, and all Kim could do was stare up at him in wide-eyed amazement.  He smiled and kissed her softly on the brow.

"Good night, Kim."

Numbly, she sank down into a chair and watched as he disappeared into his bedroom.  Finally, she found her voice as she heard the door close.  "You won't lose me; I love you.  Always have.  Always will."

* * *

Kim sat in the waiting room nervously twisting her purse strap in her hands.  _What am I doing here? _she asked herself for the umpteenth time.

She should have gone to the costume shop to see if she could find something for Halloween.  She hadn't thought she be off to take Olivia trick-or-treating.  It turned out that she was going to be able to, and Tommy and Olivia had talked her into dressing up.  Now her problem wasn't so much what was she going to be but rather what did the shop have left!  However, instead of doing that, she was spending her dinner break sitting at the Carmichael Center.

_You're here because you love Tommy._

_"I love you . . . I never really stopped."_  His words still made her feel warm all over.  It had been a rough week since Tommy had confessed his feelings to her.  One minute she was floating on cloud nine, and the next she'd be in tears and unable to even look at him.  His announcement should have made her the happiest woman in Angel Grove.  Instead, she felt lost and confused.  She wanted to tell Tommy that she felt the same way, but for some reason she couldn't say the words.

After a great deal of soul searching, Kim realized what was wrong.  She didn't feel worthy of Tommy.  She felt he deserved more than she could presently give him, but at the same time, she didn't want to lose him a second time.  She knew Tommy would be patient--he'd help hold her up no matter how long it took, but she didn't want to lean on him forever.  She wanted things to be like they used to as much as he did, but they couldn't be until she could stand on her own.  Tommy was right; she had a lot of things she needed to work out--things she couldn't face or identify without help.  Gathering her courage, she had called the Women's Crisis Center and made an appointment to talk to one of the counselors.

Kim glanced at her watch.  It was starting to get late; she was going to have to leave soon to get back to the gym on time.  She hadn't wanted to make the appointment in the morning because she didn't want Tommy to find out she was going, at least, not just yet.  She wasn't even sure this was the right place to go; after all, it had been five years . . . but she hadn't known where else to turn.  She got up and crossed the empty waiting room to the magazine rack; the receptionist had already left for the night (although she had offered to stay with Kim).  Kim grabbed a magazine and had just resumed her seat when the door to the inner office opened.

"I'm glad to see you're doing so much better, Kaitlyn," the counselor said as she ushered the girl to the outer door.

"Thanks, Mrs. Donovan; I'm glad you were able to talk with me on such short notice," the girl replied.

"I'm always available, Kaitlyn."

_Donovan?_  Kim's head snapped up.  Sure enough, it was Maggie.  It took her a moment to recall that Tommy mentioned that Maggie volunteered at the Crisis Center.

"Sorry, I kept you waiting, I . . . why, hello, Kim," Maggie greeted, sounding only marginally surprised.

"Hi, Maggie," Kim essayed wanly.  She wanted to die; here she had geared herself up to talk with a stranger, and it turns out to be Tommy's friend.

"If you'll pardon my saying so, I kind of thought I might find you here sooner or later."

"You did?  Tommy didn't say . . . ?"

"No, Tommy's not said a word to me.  I know how to read the signs," Maggie answered kindly.  She glanced over at the wall clock.  "You're on your dinner break, aren't you?  How do you feel about talking over a quick bite to eat?"

"I guess that's okay; you're the doctor."

"Don't worry, Kim; this won't be as difficult as you think.  Come on."

* * *

"Come on, you two!" Tommy called out as he looked at the clock on the VCR.  They needed to get over to the Youth Center to get their group assignments.  The program for safe trick-or-treating that they had participated in as high school students had greatly expanded; there were so many youngsters that parents had also been asked to be chaperones for the children.  It had definitely evolved into a community project.

"Hi-ya!" Olivia shouted fiercely as she bounded out of her room.  Maggie had found Kelly's old costume; it was in pretty good shape and hadn't needed much in the way of alterations.  "How do I look?"

"Morphinominal," Tommy replied, using one of Billy's old terms.  "How about me?"  He had resurrected his old pirate costume--the one Kim had told him he looked so "dashing and roguish" in.

"Pretty cool.  That's a neat earring," Olivia evaluated.

"So, what's your mom going as?"

"I dunno.  She said it was a secret; she made me leave the room so she could get dressed."

The other day, Kim had come home, announcing that she finally found a costume, but she hadn't told anyone what it was. Tommy wondered if she might go with a princess costume; she always liked those in high school.  However, princesses were notorious for being weak and helpless--victims always needing to be rescued.  He didn't think that'd be such a good idea for Kim right now.  She was still feeling pretty vulnerable and didn't need to pretend to be a damsel in distress.

Tommy was pretty concerned about Kim anyway; she had been acting rather unusual since the night of his birthday.  He almost regretted telling her how he felt.  He had meant his words to give her something to believe in, to give her a sense of security.  They seemed to have just the opposite effect; he hadn't seen her so unsettled in weeks.  For a while there, things were as awkward between them as they had been after Kim had told him about the rape.  However, the last couple of days hadn't been too bad; maybe Kim just needed a little time to let the shock work through her system.  She had definitely been surprised at his announcement; it had probably been the last thing she had expected.  

As for himself, he was glad he had finally told her.  It had taken a load off his mind, but at the same time, it had created a new dilemma: waiting to see if Kim felt the same.

"Sorry, guys, I didn't mean to take so long," Kim said breathlessly.  "We're not going to be too late, are we?"

"Hey, Ernie knows me; he probably figured we'd be . . . ."

Tommy couldn't believe his eyes.  Kim was dressed as the Pink Ninja Ranger.  "Where'd you find that costume?"  It was remarkably close to the original; only someone who'd worn the actual thing would notice the minute differences in the gauntlets, tabard and insignia.

"I got lucky at the costume shop," she explained as she tied on the headband.

"You look just like the real Pink Ranger," Olivia gushed, "but how come you don't have the mask?"

"The shop didn't have it any longer."

"I always hated that mask," Tommy whispered.  "I felt like I had a pillow case over my head."

"I felt like a mummy."

"You know, Ernie will probably have heart failure when he sees you in this."

"Too bad I didn't find a White Ranger outfit; that would have really made him flip," Kim added with a laugh.

Tommy found Kim's light-hearted mood encouraging.  She was laughing and smiling; there was a sparkle in her eyes, and there seemed to be something different in the way she was carrying herself.  "So, how does it feel to be back in uniform?" Tommy asked.

"You know, it's kind of weird . . . . I know this isn't the real thing, but I feel almost like I did when I was still on the team, like I could take on the world!  It feels good--real good."

Tommy knew what she was trying to say; he gave her hand a heartfelt squeeze and didn't let go.  She glanced at their joined hands briefly then smiled up at him without letting go either.

"Will you guys hurry up!  I don't want to miss trick-or-treat," Olivia declared with an imperious stomp of her foot.


	5. Part V: Giving Thanks

Part Five:  Giving Thanks

Tommy took a right and headed down Airport Road; it was a shortcut to the speedway.

_I wonder what Uncle John wants, _he mused.  Tommy was looking forward to seeing his uncle again.  He hadn't visited the track since before Kim and Olivia moved in with him.  He cast a quick glance at the binder sitting in the seat next to him--the one Kim had given him for his birthday.  _Uncle John is going to flip when he sees these!_

Kim's gift wasn't the only reason Tommy was anxious to see his mom's brother-in-law; Tommy hoped that maybe his uncle needed someone to drive for him.  Nothing that required a road trip--he couldn't leave the dojo--something local.  It was still something of a surprise that he had taken to racing as well as he had.  He liked fast cars as much as the next guy, but he had never dreamed of racing professionally.  When his uncle made his invitation, Tommy had accepted because he needed a distraction to get his mind off  his problems.  From there, it had evolved into a means of paying for his karate school.  He had learned to love the sport--just not enough to make it a full time career.

The municipal airport was just ahead; it was a busy place in spite of all the traffic at AG International.  Tommy noticed a sign along the side of the road: Angle Grove Air Charters.  Wasn't that the name of Kim's Uncle Steve's business?

That got Tommy to thinking about his conversation with Kim about finding her family.  He had been wanting to do something to help her get in touch with her folks even before they'd had their talk, but he hadn't been certain how she felt about it.  He didn't want to do anything if she wasn't ready to face them.  That she made the effort--albeit an unsuccessful one--to call told him that it was something she really did want.  However, he had absolutely no clue how to go about finding any of them.

He could have started by writing Kim's mother; she was most likely still in Paris, but that probably wasn't the best idea.  After all, according to Aisha and Kim, Mrs. Dumas believed that he was the one who had gotten Kimberly pregnant.  She wasn't likely to listen to him if she still felt that way, and it might destroy any chance of getting her and Kim back together.   He also wasn't so sure about Mr. Hart--or more specifically, his second wife.  Kim had been pretty certain that Cynthia despised her; she wouldn't be happy about having Kim in her father's life again.  Kenny seemed to be the most approachable member of the family.  Tommy tried to recall what Kim had told him about her uncle.  He was her mother's brother (there was also a sister--Kelly's mom); surely he would still be in contact with Kenny.  

It wasn't a conscious decision on his part, but Tommy turned onto the lane leading to the charter service.  He still hadn't figured out what he was going to say when he pulled into the parking lot.

"May I help you?" the woman behind the counter queried.

"Is Mr. Wright in?" Tommy asked.  He had spent five minutes in the car racking his brain trying to recall Mrs. Dumas' maiden name.

"He is; however, if you wish to book a charter, I can help you with that."

"No, thank you.  I was wondering if I could speak to him for a moment about his niece Kimberly...."

"Hold on just a moment!" the woman interrupted excitedly as she jumped up from her chair and hurried into the back office.

A short while later a man--forty-ish with wavy, caramel colored hair peppered with gray and fawn-brown eyes--emerged from the office.

"I'm Steve Wright," the man introduced himself.

"Tommy Oliver," Tommy said as he shook the offered hand.

"Tommy . . . my niece dated a fella named Tommy."

"That's me."

"Millicent said you wanted to talk to me about Kimberly."

"Yes, I was wondering if you knew whatever happened to her," Tommy said, deciding to play it discreet until he had some idea of what Steve knew.

"I was hoping you could tell me," Steve sighed sadly.  "After she went to Florida with that coach, it was as if she vanished off the face of the earth.  She stopped writing, stopped calling; no one has seen or heard from her since."

"Not even her mom?"

"I think Caroline has some idea, but she refuses to talk about it.  When Kenny last asked her about Kim, Caroline told him to mind his own business."  Steve shook his head.  "I think she's sniffed too much of Adrian's brush cleaner!"

That wasn't encouraging news.  "Do you guys have any idea . . . ?" Tommy prompted.

"Not really.  My guess is that Kim and Caroline got in a fight--it was bound to happen sooner or later.  Kim had always done whatever Caroline asked of her, until Caroline decided to get married and move to Paris.  Caroline could be so blind and stubborn sometimes; she was always saying she wanted Kim to make something of herself even if _she_ had to take care of all the details herself."

Tommy had never realized that Mrs. Dumas had been so controlling.  He wondered if Kim even realized it.  She had never said that her mother was forcing her to do anything she didn't want to--except when it came to refusing the abortion.  Tommy knew every parent wanted his or her child to do well in life, but he couldn't imagine planning things out for the child and not allowing the child to have any say in the matter.  There had to be more going on between Mrs.  Dumas and Kim than what Steve was saying, but that was neither here nor there at the moment.  At least he had gotten something useful out of Kim's uncle: her mother had not told anyone else in the family about what happened.  _Probably too embarrassed._

"I take it you're looking for Kim," Steve remarked, interrupting Tommy's thoughts.

"Yes.  I know it's been a while, but I really feel this is something I have to do," Tommy answered evasively.  "I was wondering if you knew where I could find Kenny or Mr. Hart.  I tried the phone numbers I had for them, but I guess they've moved."

"I'm not sure about Ken; I think he's still in Seattle, but Kenny moved to Colorado last year--to be closer to his girlfriend.  He'd know where to find his father, but I doubt he knows anymore about Kim than I do."

"That's okay; I'd still like to talk to him."

"Sure."  Steve pulled a laminated card out of his wallet and copied down one of the phone numbers for Tommy.  "There."

"Thanks, Mr. Wright," Tommy murmured distractedly, reading over the number.

"No problem.  Just one thing, if you learn anything . . . ."

"If that's what Kim wants," Tommy agreed, and he hoped Steve hadn't picked up on his slip.  He glanced at his watch.  "Would you mind if I borrowed your phone?  I've gotta call my uncle and let him know I'm going to be late."

"Of course."

Tommy was going to be very late; he had to make a phone call to Colorado first.

* * *

"So, how was your afternoon at the race track?" Kim queried as Olivia shouldered her way past Tommy to get through the door first.  Tommy had been helping his uncle break in a new car and had been spending all his free time at the track.  Olivia had complained about missing him, so he decided to take her with him--giving Kim a much appreciated day off.  The two  had been gone since before breakfast.

"We had a great time, didn't we, Princess?" Tommy said; though he was dirty and tired, his smile was bright and his eyes positively shone with his happiness.  Kim hadn't realized how much he had enjoyed racing or that he missed it so much.  "I'm gonna go get cleaned up."

"Okay, Tommy."  Kim looked to Olivia to hear her opinion of the day.

"It was noisy," Olivia said once Tommy was gone.  "I had to wear these funny things on my ears and over my eyes.  To protect me, Tommy said."

"Was it exciting?"

"The cars were neat . . . ."

Kim sensed a "but" coming.  She covered her smile as Olivia looked around--presumably to make sure Tommy wasn't around.  Not finding him, she continued  more softly, ". . . it was kind of boring.  All Tommy did was drive 'round and 'round in circles, and there was nothing for me to play with."

"Don't worry, Sweetie; I don't understand what he sees in it either," Kim said confidentially, and Olivia smiled with relief.

"Can I watch a movie, mommy?" Olivia requested.

"Sure,  honey."

*

A short time later, after Olivia was thoroughly engrossed in her cartoon, Tommy emerged from the bathroom.

"How did it go today?" Kim asked when Tommy plodded into the kitchen.

"Fantastic!" he declared enthusiastically as he grabbed a soda from the 'fridge.  "This new car of Uncle John's is pretty awesome.  She handles like a dream!  Man, all that power . . . ."

"Do you ever wish you were still racing?" Kim wondered.

"Sometimes--but only for about five minutes," he answered.  "I love driving, but I never cared for Uncle John's nomadic lifestyle.  I guess it reminds me of when I was growing up and Dad was transferred a lot.  I definitely don't miss the road; helping out here is enough for me.  So, what'd you do with your day?"

"Maggie met me for breakfast at the coffee shop and then we went to do some serious window shopping."

Actually, they had done considerably more than that.  Their day to goof off had turned into one of Kim's therapy sessions.  At their first meeting, both women had agreed that a doctor/ patient relationship wasn't going to work for them.  Though not exactly friends, they were too close for Maggie to keep a professional distance.  However, Maggie couldn't turn her away either.  In the end, Maggie had offered Kim a sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on whenever she felt the need, and a lot of good advice.  They continued to meet casually--at the laundromat, at  the market--and they didn't always talk about Kim's problems; they covered everything from parenting to pop music.  Kim realized Maggie was indeed a friend--one she could confide in and trust.

"What did you think about the infamous coffee shop?" Tommy wondered.

"It was really nice," Kim said.  It was a little place not far from the laundromat, a long time fixture of the neighborhood.  The quaint little restaurant didn't have a large clientele, just a loyal one.  She had been very curious to see this place since Maggie had mentioned it a few weeks back, but she and Tommy couldn't seem to find the time to go.  Well, Olivia had a little something to do with that.

 Although it had been the first time she had ever set foot in the place, she had felt like everyone had known her and accepted her.  It was as if she had really belonged.  Of course, Maggie had warned her that she was probably already well known to the coffee counter gossips.   

and had laughingly said that it was a wonder that the regulars hadn't known Kim was moving in prior to Tommy's return.  The busy-bodies missed very little; however, they weren't a spiteful lot.  They were loyal to their neighbors but were usually willing to give newcomers the benefit of the doubt.  Kim had to admit that they had been colorful: Matt, the owner and Betty, the head waitress--she had taken an instant liking to them, and they had made her feel welcome.  They all had, except for Joe.  By the end of breakfast, Kim had wanted to punch that loudmouthed idiot in the nose!  _The nerve of him suggesting that Tommy was making up now for abandoning me five years ago!_

"There are some really great people in this area; it's why I like it so much," Tommy said.  "Although I've only lived here a little over a year, I really feel like this place is home."

Kim had to admit to feeling that way, too.

". . . and I'm really glad you and Maggie are getting along so well," Tommy continued.

"I hadn't realized how much I missed the stuff I used to do with Trini and Aisha," she replied.  "Sometimes, it's like Maggie's the older sister I always wished Kenny had been."

"By the way, do you have any plans for the seventeenth?"

The abrupt change in topic caught her off guard.  "Just the usual: work that morning, spend the afternoon with Olivia, and then catch up on things around here after she goes to bed."  She found his demeanor puzzling; Tommy sounded as if he was nervous about something.

"Would you like to go do something?"  He ran his hand around the back of his neck and couldn't seem to maintain eye contact with her.  "Just the two of us?"

Kim blinked in amazement.  In the three months since she had moved in, the two of them had never done anything without Olivia.  Rarely had they spent more than an hour or so without her around period.  It suddenly felt as if butterflies were doing kamikaze runs in her stomach, and she stammered as she asked, "A-are you asking me out on a date?"

"Um . . . yeah.  I guess I am."

For a moment, it was as if her brain had ceased to function; she felt paralyzed.  Alone on a date with Tommy?  She couldn't . . . could she?  She hadn't been alone with a guy since the attack!  However, part of her desperately wanted to say yes, but then the other voices surfaced--the voices of fear and confusion and doubt.

_But this is Tommy!  _the voice clamoring to accept shouted above the din of indecision.  _This is the man you love!  This is the one person in all the world you still trust._

Trust . . . she hadn't realized exactly how much she trusted Tommy until Maggie pointed it out to her:  _"Who was it you instinctively turned to in times of trouble?  When you were in Florida and so frightened you didn't know what to do, you called Tommy.  When your nightmares were too much to bear any longer, you opened yourself up to him.  You even trust him with your daughter!  Right now, you probably trust Tommy more than you do yourself."_

If she trusted Tommy so much, then why was she so scared of going out with him?  "What did you have in mind?" she asked cautiously. 

"A friend of Uncle John's sent him two tickets to a charity dinner in Hollywood; however, he can't use them because he has to be in Las Vegas that weekend," Tommy explained; he retrieved his jacket and removed an envelope from his pocket.  "He thought we might like to go."

Her instincts were telling her to say yes, but . . . .

_"You're thinking too much, Kim,"_ Maggie had told her during one conversation.  _"For once, don't think; trust your instincts."_

She was just so afraid . . . .

In the past, she had always been able to use her fear in a positive fashion--to motivate her and get her over the obstacles in her way.  _"I'm tired of being afraid!"_ she had told Tommy a few short weeks ago, and she had meant it.  She had cowered in the shadows for almost six years, and the one thing she had dreamed of during that time was within her grasp if she was willing to take a risk and reach for it.

_Trust your instincts . . . ._

Kim glanced up into Tommy's face; he looked as anxious as she felt, and she realized that he was probably just as afraid as she was.  "Sure, it sounds like it might be fun," she said at last, more than a little surprised that her voice was so steady.

"Really?  You'd like to?  That's great!"

Tommy looked so happy . . . he was almost as giddy as a kid at Christmas, and Kim had to smile.  For a moment, the two could do nothing but stare at one another with silly grins on their faces, and Kim felt almost the way she had when she was sixteen and Tommy had first asked her out.  Had she been this bad then?  However, practicality reared its ugly head.

"Who will watch Olivia, though?  We'll be out much too late for Kelly to babysit."

"My folks," Tommy replied, demonstrating that he had thought this through.  "Mom's been wanting to have Olivia for a weekend, and both she and Dad will be off."

"Don't they have plans?" Kim knew Jan and Thomas weren't the type to just stay at home when they had time together.

"I wanted to wait to say anything to them until I talked with you.  I'll call them right now."

Tommy tossed the invitation onto the table en route to the phone.  Kim snatched up the envelope and looked at the enclosed card and tickets.  She let out a low whistle when she saw where the event was being held.

"All set," Tommy announced upon his return to the kitchen.  "Mom was thrilled, and before you ask, Olivia thought the idea of having a slumber party with Nanna Jan was cool."

"Tommy, how can we go to this thing?" Kim queried.  "The invitation says black tie . . . neither of us has a thing to wear, and showing up in your truck would be really . . . ."

"Between my dad and my uncle, I'll find something to wear."

"What about me?  Neither your mom nor your aunt are my size."

"Maybe Tanya has something you can borrow."

"We may be the same height but hardly the same build."

"Don't worry; we'll think of something.  As far as transportation goes, that's already taken care of.  Uncle John said that if we decided to go, we could borrow his new Mustang."

"Ah, now I get it," Kim murmured, a teasing grin tugging at her lips.

"Get what?"

"Your real motive for asking me out.  You just needed an excuse to drive a cool car!"

With a laugh, Kim dodged the dishtowel Tommy flung at her.

* * *

"Tommy, phone call!" Leslie called above the clamor of "ki-yais."

Tommy nodded to Kurt, indicating he should take over the lesson, and hurried over to the office.  He wondered who it was; Leslie generally didn't interrupt a class unless it was important.  Was it his mother?  Kim?  Kelly having a problem with Olivia . . . ?

"Who is it?" he queried.

"Ken Hart."

Kenny!  Tommy bolted for his chair and released the hold button.  His heart was pounding in his chest with excitement as he answered, " Tommy Oliver speaking."

_"Tommy?  This is Ken Hart--Kim's brother.  I just got your message off my answering machine; I've been out of town on business . . . .  You said you wanted to talk to me about my sister?"_

Tommy had thought long and hard on what he'd say to Kim's brother and father.  He wasn't certain it was his place to tell them about the rape; however, Kim was operating under the assumption that they already knew about it, and he ultimately decided to spare her the pain of having to recount her ordeal yet again.

"I do," Tommy said at last.

_"Do you know where she is?  No one's seen or heard from her in so long . . . ."_

"She's back in Angel Grove . . . ."

_"Thank God!  Have you seen her?  Is she all right?"_

"She is--now.  Ken, can you get a hold of your father?"

_"Since it's about Kim, I could probably get him out of a courtroom right now."_

"We don't need to do that, but I would like to set up a conference call with the two of you."

_"Not a problem; I'll call Dad as soon as we're done, but why . . . ?"_

"A lot of things happened to your sister while she was in Florida, and it'd be easier if I could tell you both about them at the same time."

*

"Hey, Jan, what's up?" Kim queried, checking the number in the I.D. box as she caught the phone just before the answering machine kicked in.  She had thought Tommy was about, so she hadn't particularly rushed through drying off after her shower.  

_"Hello, Kim.  Have you found a dress for Saturday yet?"_ Tommy's mom queried.

"No."  She'd tried Tanya as Tommy suggested, but Tanya didn't have anything in black, and Kim looked awful in yellow.  She had checked a couple of second hand stores, but most of what they had were old prom dresses or gaudily beaded monstrosities.

_"I think I have one for you."_

"Really?"

_"I checked with some of my other siblings and found a niece who's your size.  She had bought a little black dress for a dance then got stood up.  Her exact words were, 'if you want it, you can have it!  I don't want to be reminded about that stupid dance--ever!'"_

"Oh, the poor thing!"

_"If you're interested, I'll stop by and pick it up on my way home from work.  Then you can come over some morning to try it on."_

"Jan, that's wonderful!  Thank you so much--for everything," Kim gushed.

_"Not a problem.  I'm glad to help out.  I remember what it's like to have a little one and not be able to do things because you had no sitter or family to help out."_

Jan wasn't kidding.  This would be the first time in five years that Kim was actually going to do something without her daughter tagging along.  She couldn't believe how excited she was getting about the whole affair.

_"I'm working the afternoon shift on Wednesday; how about that morning?"_

"That'd be perfect; see you then."

Kim's mind was already working on what to do for shoes and accessories before she put the receiver back in the cradle; it rang again almost instantly.  Kim didn't recognize the number.  "Hello?"

_"May I speak with Tommy please?"_ the person on the other end requested.  He sounded like an older gentleman, and Kim couldn't place the slight accent.

"He's not in at the moment, may I take a message?"

_"Is this Kimberly?"_

"Yes . . . ."

_"It is a pleasure to speak with you.  I am Sam Trueheart."_

"Oh, David's grandfather!"

_"Yes, if you would, please tell Tommy that David and I happily accept his annual invitation.  We're both looking forward to meeting you and your daughter."_

"As we are you, Mr. Trueheart.  Tommy will be thrilled with the news."  However, as Kim bid Sam good-bye and hung up the phone, she realized that she had no idea what he had been talking about.

*

"Tommy, did you invite David and his father over for dinner or something?" Kim queried as soon as Tommy got home.

"No, why?"

"Mr. Trueheart called earlier to say that he accepted your invitation."

"He did?  They're coming this year?  That's awesome!" Tommy exclaimed in absolute delight.

Even more befuddled than before, Kim asked, "What are we talking about here?"

"Thanksgiving dinner."

"Thanksgiv . . . Tommy!"

"What?" he wondered, puzzled by her chiding tone.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't imagine too many Native Americans celebrate Thanksgiving."

"Why not?"

"Think about it," she urged, exasperated.  Tommy wasn't normally _this_ dense.  "You know the story about the first Thanksgiving--about the Indians and the Pilgrims.  The European settlers may have been celebrating their survival in the new world, but the Pilgrim's survival marked the downfall of the native peoples.  I can understand why some people might not want to have anything to do with a holiday that celebrated that."

"I'm of Native American descent, and I celebrate Thanksgiving," Tommy pointed out.

"You weren't _raised_ Native American."

"Why does it have to be about Pilgrims and Indians anyway?" he wondered, perplexed by the argument.  "Thanksgiving is all about giving thanks for the good things in your life; it's just a day set aside for doing that--that's all.  For me, Thanksgiving has always been about family and friends and how grateful I am for all the people I care about in my life.  White, Red, Black--we're all just people no matter what we believe."

"Some folks just can't look at it the way you do," Kim sighed.

"I know.  David and I have discussed this many times.  He respects my viewpoint and doesn't take offense when I invite him, and I respect his views and don't get bent out of shape when he says no."

However, Kim could see the years of disappointment at being turned down in Tommy's eyes.  "Well, whatever their feelings, Sam and David will be there this year," she reminded him, and Tommy's expression brightened.

"I can hardly wait," he cheered.  He was so excited, he reminded Kim of Olivia; all that was missing was the bouncing.  "I have to call mom and tell her.  She'll flip!"

"You'll have to call Sam back to let him know where and when," Kim suggested.

"I can't wait for them to meet you!  Boy, will David be surprised," Tommy rambled on, seeming not to have heard her.  "I'd been wanting to tell him about you and Olivia . . . ."

"You mean you haven't?" Kim sputtered.

"I keep meaning to write or call--I haven't spoken to David since he left for school this past July--but I'll think of it at the oddest times then forget when I'm by the phone . . . .  And David is just as bad as me sometimes . . . ."

"I don't understand . . . ."

"What?"

"When Sam called, he addressed me by name and said that he and David couldn't wait to meet me and my daughter.  If you haven't told them, then how . . . ."

Tommy laughed at her confusion.  "It can be a little spooky until you get used to it, but Sam has this way of knowing about people and things.  You'll understand better when you meet him.  Oh man!  This is going to be the best Thanksgiving ever!"

* * *

"Tommy, this was such a great evening; I haven't had so much fun in forever!" Kim gushed as Tommy maneuvered the Mustang onto the highway.  The two had spent the evening drinking, dancing, and dining with some of the most well-known people in the entertainment business.  Tommy recalled how tightly Kim had clung to his arm when they first arrived at the club; they had both felt very out of place.  He knew he had felt like he was staring whenever he spotted someone he recognized from the movies; however, they had managed to relax sometime during the pre-dinner reception and had wound up enjoying themselves.

He glanced over at Kim, smiling as he noticed that she was still positively glowing from the excitement of the evening.  She looked magnificent!  He had never seen her look so elegant.  The strapless black gown (from a jilted cousin--ha!  Tommy knew he didn't have any cousins Kim's size, and even if he had, none of them lived close enough for his mother just to drive over and pick up the dress) fit her perfectly; he especially liked the slit-up-to-there in the side of the skirt.  His mother had loaned her some jewelry and helped her with her hair.  Kim had looked as good as any of the women there, and she had carried herself with such aplomb that no one would have guessed that she had been absolutely terrified.

"I got such a kick out of people looking at us and trying to figure out if they knew us or not," Kim chatted away.  The way her eyes shone made it difficult for Tommy to concentrate on the road.  "How about that blonde who latched onto you?"

"Which one?" Tommy wondered; embarrassingly, there had been several who had been flirting with him--at least, that's what Kim said they were doing.

"The one who acted like she'd fried her brains when she'd fried her hair with the peroxide.  'Hey, handsome, are you anybody--important, I mean?'" Kim mimicked.  Tommy had to admit it was an excellent imitation.  "I couldn't believe her!  I didn't think people like that really existed; she was something out of a cheesy movie."

Tommy remembered now--how could he have forgotten the way Kim proprietorially slipped her arm through his and said, _"Of course he's someone important; he's my husband."_  He knew she had done it simply to extricate him from a very persistent woman, but the _way_ she had said it--the love and pride in her voice--had sounded so real that it had given him chills.  "By the way, I never did thank you for the save.  It was very convincing."

Kim blushed and looked away shyly.  "I guess I should be glad she didn't look for a wedding ring," she fumbled.  "I hope you didn't mind."

"Not at all."  Into the awkward pause that followed, Tommy asked, "Who was that you were talking to before dinner?"

"For the life of me I can't remember her name--she was some sort of journalist, I think.  She must have been someone pretty important because she snagged Mel Gibson as he was walking past and asked him to get us a couple more drinks.  Can you believe that?  I got to meet Mel Gibson, and he got _me_ a drink!"

Tommy bit back a smile as Kim bounced with the excitement that she had refrained from displaying at the time.  "What did you guys talk about?  You were at it for quite a while."

"Would you believe gymnastics?  She swore she'd seen me somewhere before, and when I mentioned the Pan Globals and Coach Schmidt, she was so genuinely interested . . . . Actually, it was kind of weird, but she did ask some pretty insightful questions.  How about you?  Who was the guy with the beard you were talking with for most of the reception?"

"Mack Davies, a stunt director."

"You guys seemed pretty friendly; how do you know a stunt director?"

"He's an old friend of Uncle John's--the one who sent him the tickets to the fund raiser.  I met him once while I was still racing for my uncle; Mack had consulted him about something or another.  I was just surprised that he remembered me--by name, not just 'Rush's nephew.'  At the time, he had teased Uncle John about trying to steal me away to drive for his crew."

"Was he trying to recruit you again?"

"He was wondering where Uncle John was; I think he was wanting to talk to him.  He's working on a new project that requires racing scenes.  Mack did say he was sorry to hear I wasn't driving any more and seemed pleasantly surprised that I was into martial arts."

"Why's that?"

"Because of the film's star."

"Let me guess; Mr. Davies was there with him."

"Uh huh."

"And judging by the light in your eyes, it was someone you've always wanted to meet," Kim mused.  She pondered the choices.  "I'd say Bruce Lee, but he's dead."

"Very funny," he snorted as she laughed.  "It was Jackie Chan."

Kim made suitably impressed noises.  "I take it you got introduced.  So, did you discuss martial arts with him?"

"No, he was more interested in discussing racing," Tommy replied, unable to hide his chagrin.  However, Kim's tinkling laughter chased his frown away.

Eventually, the excitement of the evening caught up with Kim, and the hum of the Mustang speeding along lulled her to sleep.  Tommy spared her a glance, a tender smile warming his expression.  Kim was curled up in the bucket seat, her legs tucked up under her, and her head drooping to the left as if she wanted to rest it against his shoulder.  However, the thing that both astonished and pleased Tommy was that her hand rested lightly on his thigh--just like she used to do on late night drives once upon a time.

* * *

_. . . I don't know what other proof I can send you to make you see that Kimberly had told you the truth about what happened to her, but please believe me when I say it **is** the truth, and your daughter needs you.  But not the way you think.  She doesn't need you to raise her daughter--she's done an awesome job of that on her own.  She needs you because you're her mother . . . ._

Tommy read over the last paragraph he had written, chewing absently on the end of his pen.  This was proving to be tougher than he thought.

"Am I doing the right thing?" he asked of Tommi Bear who was at the table finishing her breakfast--or so he'd been told.  He may have been successful in reaching Kim's father, but her mother was an entirely different matter.  Sighing, Tommy slipped the note back into his folder.  He'd already spent an hour agonizing over what he'd written thus far, and his brain felt a little numb.

He thumbed through the other papers he had collected--his "proof."  He had spent some time in the microfiche room at the university library searching through microfilm rolls of Miami newspapers from five-and-a-half years ago.  Kim hadn't been kidding when she'd said that the incident had been down played to prevent negative publicity, but he had managed to find a small article hidden away among some ads.  He had gone ahead and made copies of the article.  He also had a copy of the last letter Kim had sent him; for some reason, he'd been unable to throw it away.  At least now it'd help establish his bona fides.  There was one more piece of evidence he wanted to send Mrs. Dumas: something in Kim's own words.

Tommy recalled that Kim used to keep a journal; he figured that she definitely would have recorded her feelings about the rape and her pregnancy in one, seeing as how she had had no other outlet for her emotions at the time.  The problem was trying to find her old notebooks.  He was still reluctant to invade Kim's privacy and search through her things, but he also didn't want to ask her outright because he didn't want to get her hopes up in case his appeal to her mother failed.

Emerging from the kitchen, he peered into the living room.  Kim was out taking care of some errands, and Olivia's attention was glued to a TV show.  Satisfied that he was unobserved, Tommy headed down to the girls' room.

_Okay, where would Kim keep her old diaries?_  He eyed the nightstand speculatively; while he thought it was a likely place for her current record, he doubted her old ones would be stored there.  _Probably in a box in the closet._

He had to keep reminding himself that he was doing this for a good cause as he rifled through Kim's meager belongings.  The boxes weren't labeled, so he was going to have to go through everything, and Tommy got caught up in examining the items in the very first carton he came to.  In it were mementos of Olivia's early years.  He found himself getting a little misty-eyed as he examined the clothing and photos, drawings and old toys.  There was even a baby book with all the milestones meticulously recorded.  He found himself wishing he could have been there to see them instead of just reading about them.

Tommy had to force himself to shake off the spell of vicariously watching Olivia grow up.  If he spent too much time dawdling, he was going to get caught.  He repacked the box, careful to replace the items exactly how he had taken them out and turned to the next cardboard container.  However, it had proven just as distracting.  In it were stored Kim's mementos of Angel Grove, the Power Rangers, and all their friends.

"Whatcha doing, Tommy?" Olivia queried, coming up behind him.

Guiltily, he set aside the scrapbook he'd been flipping through, his fingertips lingering a moment longer on the stub of a ticket from a dance--their first date.  "I'm . . . looking for something," he confessed, trying to think up a plausible fib.  The thing was, Olivia had a way of knowing when she was being out-and-out lied to.

"What is it?  Maybe I can help," Olivia offered.

Tommy considered that.  Olivia could be surprisingly close-mouthed when it came to surprises, and if she was in on the surprise, she wouldn't go telling Kim he'd been in her stuff.  How often had his dad done the same thing to him when he'd been a kid?  Besides, he'd always liked being in on the secret.  And, if Olivia helped him, it wouldn't be like he was totally going behind Kim's back; as long as it wasn't something she had forbidden Olivia to get into . . . .

"Maybe you can," Tommy agreed, "but this is top secret.  It's a surprise for your mom, so you have to promise not to tell."

"I'm very good at keeping secrets," the girl asserted.

"I know you are, Princess.  What I'm needing to find is one of your mom's old notebooks that she wrote in a lot.  There's some information in it that I need to help with the surprise."

"You mean her journals?"

"Exactly."

"I know where she keeps those," Olivia declared and made a bee-line for the nightstand.

"Not her current one, an older one," Tommy elaborated.

"She keeps all her writing books in here," Olivia explained as she began pulling out the small, bound volumes.

"Easy does it; we don't want your mom knowing we were getting into her stuff.  We have to put them back exactly like she had them."  Fortunately it appeared that Kim had arranged her journals chronologically, the dates emblazoned on the covers.  Tommy quickly located the one covering January and February of '96.  He flipped to the day of the attack.

_. . . oh God, I can't believe this really happened to me!  Please let me wake up in the morning and find out this was all just some horrible nightmare . . . ._

It was all there in excruciating detail--the actual attack and her struggle to deal with it alone.  Here and there his skimming eyes caught references to her struggle with whether or not to tell him what happened--her fear of what he'd say or do . . . to her, to the rapists . . . .  Tommy finally turned to the day Kim had found out she was pregnant, the ill-fated phone call, and the day she decided to cut him out of her life.

_If reading **any** of this won't open Mrs. Dumas' eyes and heart, then there's no way she even has a heart to be opened! _ Tommy mused.

"Is that what you're looking for?" Olivia asked.

"Sure is.  Let's head down to my office so I can make copies and put this back before your mom gets home," Tommy instructed.  "And remember, this is a secret."

"Right."

* * *

"Thomas William, get your fingers out of there!" Jan scolded.

Thanksgiving morning, the Oliver household was filled with bustling activity, the sumptuous aroma of cooking food, and the raucous sounds of marching bands playing as the Macy's parade filled the TV screen in the living room.

"I was just trying to help . . . ." Thomas protested.

"Help--ha!  Olivia is more of a help than you!" Jan snorted.  "Go on; get out of here!"

As Tommy emerged from the basement with a load of folding chairs, his father passed him and winked.

"Works every time," Thomas chuckled conspiratorially.

"Dad . . . ." Tommy chided.

"I'll be in the garage if anyone needs me."

Tommy entered the kitchen in time to hear his mother confide to Kim, "He's not fooling anyone; he's been pulling this for years.  I let him get away with it because he really is more of a nuisance in the kitchen than a help."

"Here are the chairs; where do you want them?" Tommy queried, stifling a smile.

"Clean them off first, then put them in the dining room--where else?" Jan directed.   "I'm going to see if I can find the good table cloth Aunt Elsa gave us."

Tommy watched his mom bustle out of the kitchen, shaking his head and laughing.  Then he appreciatively sniffed the air.  "Mm, smells good in here.  Man, I've missed this.  We haven't had a big Thanksgiving dinner in years--since grandpa died.  Usually, it's just the three of us."

"My last big Thanksgiving with my family was before Mom met Adrian," Kim confessed, her heavy heart audible in her voice.  "Kenny was there, and Mom actually invited dad--this was before he was really serious about Cynthia.  That was the last time we were all together."

Tommy gave her shoulders a squeeze, having no comforting words.

"In Florida, if Olivia and I didn't go to some restaurant, we wound up having that pressed-turkey-dormfood-stuff in the center's  cafeteria," she continued.

"Well, this year, you have the real thing with all the trimmings, even if you do have to help cook it and clean up afterwards," he said with a cheery grin.

"It wouldn't be a real Thanksgiving without the clean up," Kim laughed.  "Actually, I don't mind.  I'm enjoying myself, and I know Olivia is really excited.  I think she's been in here every five minutes wondering when it'll be 'turkey' yet or demanding I come see a balloon or float or something."

"Well, now that Dad's been officially exiled from the kitchen, we can assign him to Olivia detail," Tommy chuckled.

"Tommy, haven't you finished with those chairs yet?" Jan demanded as she returned with the table cloth.  "I need you to get down the good china."

"Mommy, come see!" came Olivia's squeal of delight.  Tommy and Kim traded grins and set about their appointed tasks.

*

"Time to turn off the parade, Olivia," Kim called as she carried a stack of plates into the dining room.  "Come help me set the table."

"The parade's all done," Olivia said.  "Dumb ol' football is on."  She hit the power button on the remote and scampered over to Kim.  "Ooh, Mommy, the table looks fancy!"

"It sure does," Kim agreed.  Jan had told her that she'd been waiting for a good excuse to get "the good stuff" out.  It wasn't worth the hassle for just the three of them.

"These dishes are very pretty," Olivia gushed as she held up a plate.

"Careful," Kim cautioned.  It wasn't as if Jan could run out and buy replacement pieces.  She had purchased the dinnerware when she had visited Tokyo on leave.  Kim found the simple black and grey brush-stroke painting that curved along the bottom and side of the dishes very elegant.

Just then the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Olivia chirped and sped off.  Kim set the china aside, knowing Olivia probably couldn't budge the front door.  To her surprise, she found the door open and Olivia gaping at the men standing on the porch.

Kim made a quick study of the pair (lest she seem rude).  The shorter of the two was an older gentleman--well, older in that the hair at his temples was gray and silvery strands shot through the braids touching his shoulders.  Though he leaned on a walking stick, he was solidly built and did not seem at all infirm.  His sun-weathered face was set in an amicable expression, but there was something about his eyes . . . .  It was as if when he looked at her, he could see into her soul.  The adjectives "patient" and "wise" came to mind as she regarded him, and she knew that he had to be Sam Trueheart.

"Hello," he said, nodding in greeting, as if he knew she had been taking his measure.

His younger companion caused Kim to gasp in surprise.  He was the spitting image of Tommy: tall with mahogany colored hair cascading down his shoulders in long thick locks, deep brown eyes . . . although, he was of stockier build and had more rounded features.  Also, he didn't have the lush, almost feminine lashes or as full a mouth.  Still, the resemblance was uncanny; there could be no doubt that David Trueheart and Tommy Oliver were kin.

"You look like Tommy!" Olivia piped up, recalling Kimberly to her duties as hostess.

"Who else would he look like?" Sam wondered.

"Olivia, why don't you go find Tommy and tell him that David and Mr. Trueheart are here," Kim suggested as she ushered the two in.  "Hello, I'm Kimberly Hart."

"Tommy!  Unca David is here!" Olivia shouted as she hurried from the room.

"Uncle David?" David queried, his tone laced with amusement.

Kim flushed crimson.  "Sorry about that.  When Thomas and Jan let Olivia call them Grandpa and Nanna, she decided that since you were Tommy's brother, you were to be 'Uncle David.'"

"I've been called worse," David chuckled.  He was more reserved than Tommy but possessed the same warmth and personableness.

"I'm so happy you both could come," Kim continued, not really knowing what else to say.  "I've been wanting to meet you; when Tommy told me he had a brother, I couldn't believe it."

"You couldn't have been more surprised than the two of us," David concurred.

"I guess not."  In the following lull, Kim cast about in search of Tommy.  "Where is he?  For someone who was so excited that you we're going to be here . . . ."

As if on cue, Tommy came bounding in from the kitchen, Olivia hot on his heels.

"Sam! David!" Tommy wrapped his brother in an effusive hug. "Oh man, bro, it's good to see you.  It's been too long; we've got a lot of catching up to do."

"Obviously," David remarked, glancing pointedly in Kim's direction.

"Have you guys met Kim and Olivia?" Tommy babbled on as he swept Olivia--who squealed happily--into his arms.  "Man, I'm so glad you guys came this year!"

"We had to come," Sam replied.  "For as long as I've known you, Tommy, I have seen the shadows which clouded your soul.  I wished to meet and thank the one who brought the light back to your spirit . . . the shining crane who taught the mighty falcon to soar once again."

Kim blinked in amazement and shot Tommy a searching look; he looked almost as flustered as she did at Sam's words, but she had the feeling that his surprise had nothing to do with the reference to their spirit animals.  _Sam has this way of knowing . . . ._  Still, Kim felt the heat in her cheeks grow.

"What's a crane, Mommy?" Olivia wondered.

"It is a very beautiful, graceful bird," Sam explained.

"If Mommy is a crane, and Tommy's a falcon, am I anything?" Olivia asked with unsettling insight.

"You, little one, are the river dancing through the desert," Sam explained patiently.  "A precious spark of life in a barren wasteland.  Always moving, always babbling, always going wherever curiosity takes you."

Kim smiled fondly; the description fit Olivia to a "t."  

"But someday, Dancing River, you shall fly above the desert on the wings of a rare and wonderful bird--a golden eagle . . . ."

"Like Marahute in _Rescuers Down Under_!" Olivia cheered, enchanted by the notion.

"And you shall soar with all the beauty and grace of your mother and the strength and courage of the father-of-your-spirit," Sam concluded, and his last pronouncement shook both Kim and Tommy.

"Father of her spirit?" Tommy echoed.

"You have claimed her as your daughter as surely as your parents claim you as their son."

"I think . . . maybe . . . I should leave you guys to do your catching up," Kim murmured, thoroughly unsettled by the discussion.  "Come on, Olivia; we have to finish setting the table."

"Look, Mommy; I'm an eagle," Olivia declared as she rushed about the living room, her arms spread as unfurled wings.

Kim watched as Tommy interrupted his conversation with David to capture the eagle-in-flight and spin her around, provoking peals of laughter.  She sighed longingly as she saw the happiness shining in Tommy's face.  She envied him his joy at being surrounded by his family, thinking about her own scattered to the winds.

"Just one more thing, Kimberly," Sam began, placing a comforting hand on her arm.  His words were softly spoken so that no one else but she could hear them.  "As you have brought light to Tommy's darkness, so too will he bring light to yours--if you will let him.

With a reassuring pat, he took his leave of her and joined Tommy and David.  Olivia, bored, finally scampered over.  Kim collected her daughter's hand and absently wandered back into the dining room.

"I like Mr. Trueheart," Olivia announced as she skipped along.  "Do you think you could braid my hair just like his?"

*

"Ooh, it looks just like in all the pictures!" Olivia exclaimed as Thomas set the turkey on the dining room table.  Her eyes were wide and her face practically glowing.

"One cannot truly appreciate the joys of life until one has viewed them in the shining eyes of a child," Sam said sagely as the adult began to take their seats.

"There's so much food here," Olivia continued to gush, turning to Kim. "I don't think we'll be able to eat all this, Mommy."

"Tommy and Thomas will put a serious dent in it," Jan laughed.

"Don't worry, Princess; we'll be eating leftovers for a month of Sundays," Tommy assured her.

"What's that?" the tot jabbered on as another dish was added to the table.  She wrinkled her nose at the yellow-brown squares.  "I don't think I like that."

"How would you know?  You haven't even tried it," Kim said reasonably.  "It's corn casserole, and Mr. Trueheart brought it."

"Really?  Can I have some?"

Kim and Sam shared conspiratorial smiles.

"What's that red stuff?  Jell-O?"

"Jellied cranberry sauce," Thomas explained.

"It's time to settle down, Sweetheart," Kim said even as Olivia eyed the sweet potatoes dubiously.

However, as everyone was seated, there was an awkward moment of silence.  At her family's Thanksgivings, Kim's folks used to start the meal by saying Grace.  With Sam and David there, she wasn't quite sure what was the proper thing to do.

"Would anyone like to say a few words?" Thomas asked at last.

Olivia's hand went up as if she was in class.

"All right, Olivia."

"You know, Mommy, we're all just like a real family here," she observed.  "You're the mommy, and I'm the daughter.  Tommy is like the dad . . . ."

Kim blushed as she shot Tommy a surreptitious glance.  He looked startled, sheepish and pleased all at once.

". . . Gran'pa Thomas and Nana Jan are the grandpa and grandma," Olivia continued, heedless of Kim's discomfiture.  "David's the uncle, and Mr. Trueheart is . . . ."  She paused, momentarily stumped for a role for Sam.  "Well, there can be two grandpas, can't there?"

"Sure there can, Honey," Thomas assured her.

"See!" Olivia declared brightly.

"Of course we're a real family, Olivia," Tommy said.  Kim's head snapped around to look at him.  He usually only addressed Olivia by name when he was being very serious.  "A family is more than something you're born into.  It's more than just the people you're tied to by blood; it's the people you're tied to by love.  That's why everyone is here at this table today; we're all family."

"Mommy and me, too?"

"Definitely.  No matter what happens--no matter how many other families you may have--you will _always_ be a part of this family.  Your mom, too."

Kim felt her eyes brimming as she felt Tommy's hand close around hers under the table.  She had no words to respond, so she simply squeezed his hand.

"Wow . . . a real family!" Olivia intoned in awe.  Then, she flashed Kim her brightest smile.  "In school the other day, Mrs. Blackman asked us what we were most thankful for."

"And what did you tell her?" Kim asked, her voice unsteady with her emotions.

"That I was thankful we moved to Angel Grove."

Kim pulled her daughter into a hug as her eyes scanned the gathering.  Hers weren't the only ones suspiciously moist.

"You know what, Sweetie?  So is Mommy."

*

"Oh my," Sam sighed as the meal wound down.

"Ditto," Thomas echoed.  "I think dessert will have to wait."

"Everything was wonderful, Jan," David said.  "If Tommy had told us what a great cook you were, we'd have accepted the invitation to dinner long ago."

"Flattery will not get you out of cleaning up," Jan responded with a knowing grin. 

"I told you, bro," Tommy laughed.  "You're 'family' not 'company.'"

"Can I go play now?" Olivia asked.

"I'm surprised you can even move with as much as you ate," Kim remarked.

"It was all so good," Olivia replied in her defense.

"Let's take your plate to the counter, and you may be excused," Kim agreed.  Very carefully, the girl carried her plate and silverware into the kitchen.

"Tommy, are you done with this?" Kim asked, collecting plates for her trip to the kitchen.

"Oh man, I am going to have to do a few extra katas to burn all this off," he said as he vacated his chair.  "Let me get those; you and Mom have done enough already."

Both Jan and Kim stared after him in amazement as he vanished into the kitchen.

"I don't know what you've done to that boy of mine, but I wish you'd do it to my husband, too," Jan chuckled, and Thomas flashed her a wounded puppy look.

"Tommy's right," David agreed, rising and collecting dishes also.  "We'll take care of cleaning up."

"Does that mean I'm off the hook?" Thomas asked hopefully.

"No," Jan countered.  "It's sweet of you to offer, David, but I'm not sure I trust you and Tommy alone in my kitchen."

"All done, Mommy; can I go outside now?" Olivia queried.

"Can she, Mommy?" Thomas quipped in a little girl voice which had Olivia giggling.  "I have a surprise for her out in the garage.

Both turned hopeful puppy-eyes at her, and Kim stifled a smile as she looked over at Jan who nodded imperceptibly.  "Oh, all right.  Why don't all the 'grandparents' go, and I'll keep Tommy and David in line."

"That's okay, Kim . . . ." Jan protested.

"Come on, Jan," Thomas urged.  "When was the last time you were excused from cleaning up the carnage?"

"Only a fool wastes such an opportunity, and you, Janice, are no fool," Sam added.

Shaking her head with amusement, Kim watched as Olivia took Sam by the hand and tugged him towards the front door.  Gathering up an armload of dishes, she headed to the kitchen where Tommy and David were loading the dishwasher.

"You are scraping the plates off before you put them in there, aren't you?" she queried.

"Yes, Mother," Tommy muttered good-naturedly.  "Don't worry; Mom trained me better than she thinks."

"I don't know about that," Kim snickered, noting the water he had gotten all over his shirt.  "Here."  With an impish grin, she looped the bib of Jan's frilly apron around his neck, and she laughed as Tommy eyed it dubiously.

"It suits you," David teased.

"Watch it; I'm sure Mom has another one around here just your size."

"I'm not the one making a mess with the water," David remarked.  Tommy reached for the spray nozzle with mischief in his eyes.

"Thomas Oliver! See, your mom was right about not trusting you two in here alone," Kim scolded.  "I'll take over the sink; you go clean the table."  With hand on hip, she pointed towards the dining room for added emphasis.

"Yes, ma'am," Tommy said, saluting as he marched off.

Kim turned to the sink and found David regarding her with amusement.

"What?" she wondered, handing him a plate.

"You two remind me of Jan and Thomas," he said, and his comment so startled Kim that she nearly dropped the glass she was rinsing.  "I've never seen my brother so happy or so at peace.  I, too, am thankful you and your daughter moved to Angel Grove."

"Thanks, David," Kim murmured, not knowing what else to say.   After all, Tommy was the one who had done her the favor, not the other way around.

"Tommy told us some of what happened," David continued hesitantly.

"I thought he might," she said quietly.  She had known Tommy would have to give some explanation; however, she found she didn't mind so much since David and Sam were family.

"When grandfather was telling Olivia about soaring as an eagle, he made one mistake; he should have said she'll soar with the courage of her mother."

David's words left Kim speechless, and she was very relieved when Tommy shouted from the other room, "Kim, David, come see this!"  She gratefully turned off the water and wiped her hands.

*

Tommy stood in the doorway and glanced back to see if Kim had heard him.  She and David hurried out to join him.  He stood back to let Kim in front so she could see.

"Mommy!  Mommy! Look at me!" Olivia shouted as she madly pedaled down the sidewalk on a pint-sized bicycle with training wheels.

"Hey, that's my first bike!" Tommy realized.

"I knew your father hated to get rid of things, but . . . ." Kim began.  Tommy opened the door, and the clean-up crew stepped out onto the porch.

"Look at her go," David murmured.

"A regular lil' daredevil," Tommy added.

"I don't believe it; she's never been on a bike before," Kim said quietly.

"Dad's done good this time," Tommy agreed.

Olivia's happy laughter and excited chatter filled the air.  Tommy glanced down at Kim; her eyes shone as brightly as her daughter's, and the gentle smile which curved her lips made Tommy's heart flutter.  It always made him feel good to see her so happy.  He rested a hand on her shoulder; when she didn't flinch, he gave it a small squeeze.  To his surprise and delight, Kim covered his hand with her own.

"Hm, looks like somebody's lost," David remarked, gesturing toward the street.  Tommy looked up and saw a blue Buick.  "It's driven past here two or three times since we've been outside.

David's words made Tommy want to get a closer look.  Squinting, he tried to see if he could make out the driver.  Then, his face lit up.  "It's them!  They made it!" he declared.

"Who?" David wondered.

Tommy ignored him; stripping off the apron and tossing it to his brother, he bounded across the front lawn.

"I guess it's a good thing we haven't put all the food away yet," he heard Kim sigh.  Racing to the end of the driveway, he waved his arms, trying to flag the car down.

"You look silly," Olivia giggled.

"Are those the other guests you mentioned?" Jan queried.

"Uh huh!"

The blue sedan pulled up, and Tommy could hardly stand still long enough for the driver to turn off the engine.

"Oh man, am I so glad you could make it," Tommy said breathlessly, opening the car door and extending his hand in greeting.

"Tommy, let them get out of the car first," his mother admonished.

"I wouldn't have missed this for the world," the driver said.  "Where's . . . ?"

"On the porch."

Tommy stepped back to let the man out.  He tried to keep his composure as he turned to face the house, but it was impossible.  He could see Kim's puzzled frown clearly, then her wide-eyed expression of astonishment and recognition.  David had to help steady her as her knees buckled.

"Hello, Kim."

"Dad?"

Kenneth Hart hurried forward as Kim broke away from David.  Her brother dashed around his side of the car to join them.

"Daddy!" Kim sobbed as she flung her arms around her father's neck.

"Oh my baby!"

Tommy blinked several times to clear his eyes and became aware of a tiny hand slipping into his.

"Tommy, who are those people?" Olivia asked nervously.

"That's your Grandpa Ken and Uncle Kenny."

"My _real_ grandpa?"

"Yes.  Is something wrong, Princess?"  Tommy thought that Olivia would be as excited as Kim, but she looked scared, almost as if she wanted to cry.

"Does this mean I don't get to be in your family anymore?"

"Of course not!  You'll always be a part of my family; I promise," he said, giving her a reassuring hug.  "Now, why don't you go say hello; your mom is looking for you.

As Olivia rushed to her mother's arms, Tommy drifted over to his parents, letting the Harts have a moment of privacy.  His mom offered him a hug and his dad a pat on his back.  There was no need for words.  Kim's happy tears said it all.

* * *

It was growing dark outside.  David and Sam had left a couple of hours ago, and Kimberly had spent the better part of the day getting reacquainted with her father and brother.  Tommy hadn't wanted to intrude on their reunion (although he couldn't help overhearing that Ken and Cynthia had never gotten married!), so he occupied himself with watching football and snoozing.  However, now that Kim had taken a break to put Olivia down to bed in his old room, he wandered into the dining room to join Ken and Kenny at the table.

"Pumpkin pie and coffee," Jan said as she brought out a tray with the pie and the coffee pot.  "Help yourselves."

"Thanks, Mom," Tommy said, dishing out the dessert.

"Thank you so much for bringing us back together," Ken said for what had to be the millionth time that day.

"I didn't do anything that Kim didn't want to do herself," Tommy demurred.  "I just had the time and opportunity, that's all."

"She's lucky to have a friend like you," Kenny said.

"Too bad your mom doesn't see it like that," Tommy sighed.  "I've been trying to think of a way to get in touch with her, but according to Kim, your mom thinks I got Kim pregnant and abandoned her."

"Mom would," Kenny muttered.

"She's not likely to listen to me."

"It won't be easy to convince Caroline of the truth; it'll mean making her admit she was wrong and having her face her guilt," Ken pointed out.

"Guilt?"

"For abandoning Kim and probably for urging Kim to go to Florida in the first place."

"She didn't force Kim to go, did she?" Tommy asked.

"She didn't--but only because Kim had already decided she wanted to go for herself."

"I don't understand," Tommy confessed.  "I haven't understood anything about what happened between Kim and her mom.  I always thought they were so close; how could she turn her back on her own daughter when she needed her the most?"

"I've always wondered that, too," Kim said softly, having returned as Tommy asked his question.  She took a seat next to Tommy.

Ken sighed.  "Your mom had such hopes and dreams for you, Kim.  She wanted you to have every opportunity to achieve your goals no matter what they were.  She didn't want you to have any regrets--like she did."

"What do you mean?" Kenny asked.

"I was a Senior in college when I met your mother," Ken began.  "Caroline was a Freshman.  I was headed to law school, and she was an aspiring artist.  She was going to school on an art scholarship; she was quite talented."

"I never knew that," Kim murmured, and judging by the look on Kenny's face, Tommy surmised that he hadn't known either.

"Caroline always dreamed of going to Paris to study art," Ken continued.  "She was always talking about it.  After we got together and started talking seriously about marriage, I promised her that our honeymoon would be in Paris, which wasn't unreasonable considering we weren't getting married until Caroline was finished with school.

"However, it was right after my graduation and I had been accepted to law school that we found out Caroline was pregnant.  We thought we'd been careful . . . .  Caroline was a wreck.  Back then, it was a much bigger deal to be pregnant out of wedlock and abortion much more scandalous.  Her mother told her that she had to get married and have the baby, but getting married meant losing her scholarship.  I was willing to support whatever decision Caroline made, and although we knew it would be a struggle with me being in school, we got married."

"So I wasn't a honeymoon baby like Grandma always said," Kenny joked weakly.

Tommy was beginning to see where this was headed.  "Caroline lost her chance of pursing her dream to be an artist because she had gotten pregnant," Tommy surmised.

"Yes, or so she believed," Ken confirmed.  "After Kenny was born, I talked her into taking some evening art classes.  She was also working at that point.  She couldn't handle school, work and the baby, so she gave up school.  Once Kenny was in first grade and Caroline really didn't need to work anymore, she tried once again to go back to school.  Then, she became pregnant with Kimberly.  One of the things that she kept bringing up during our divorce were her feelings that I sabotaged her dreams to try and control her life."

"So, when I told mom I'd been raped and was pregnant . . . ."

". . . it was like what she'd been through all over again.  No doubt that's why she told you to get the abortion.  She didn't want you to sacrifice your dreams as she had.  In a lot of ways, your dreams became her dreams, too.  She wouldn't have forced you to do something you didn't want to, but she wanted to do everything she could to ensure that you had your chance.  That's why she didn't object too strenuously when you told her you wanted to go to Florida to train for the Pan Globals.  When your dream died, so did hers."

"That explains why she kept talking about _her_ sacrifices and everything, but why did she say she didn't want to have anything to do with me if I didn't do what she said?  And why did she insist on blaming Tommy?" Kim asked.

"I think she assumed that you'd do the same thing she did--give in to her mother."

"You mean Grandma Alice . . . ."

". . . told her that if she didn't marry me and have the baby, she would have nothing to do with her.  Instead of doing what she wanted, your mother did as her mother wanted.  It probably never occurred to Caroline that you wouldn't obey her because you never challenged her before.

"As for blaming Tommy . . . it was easier than accepting the horrible truth and the possibility that she had failed you by letting you go to Florida alone and not being there to protect you."

"Do you think Mom would ever want to talk to me again even though I went against her wishes?" Kim wondered forlornly.

"Yes, Sweetie, I think she would.  Your mother loves you; she probably never meant to do what she did, but it'll be hard for her to get over her pride--because you didn't blindly obey her--and her guilt for not being there when you needed her most.  Parents don't like to think that they've failed their children."

*

Tommy and Kim stood on the porch and waved as Kim's dad and brother drove off to their motel.  They were planning on being in town for the rest of the long weekend.

"Hey, are you okay?" Tommy queried, hearing her sniffle.

"I'm fine," she murmured, wiping her eyes.  "I still can't believe it.  My dad and my brother . . . it's been so long . . . .  They even understood and didn't think I was a horrible person or . . . ."  Her emotions got in the way of her words.

"I knew they wouldn't; they're your family, and they love you," Tommy said quietly.  "Even your mother will come around eventually."  _If Kenny is successful!_

"You know, I'm beginning to believe that," Kim sighed, and Tommy could hear her smile in her voice.  "I want to forgive my mom, and I think it'll be a lot easier now that I understand why she acted the way she did."

"She wanted you to do what she hadn't the courage to do--be true to your dream."

"Maybe, but our situations were so very different.  She had just begun to experience life when she got pregnant; she wasn't ready to settle down with a family.  Maybe I wasn't exactly ready to be a mom at seventeen, but I'd also seen and done more in my life that most people could ever imagine."  Kim's thoughts trailed off, and the two stood staring off into the moonlit sky.

"You've done so much for me, Tommy," Kim said at last, turning to face him.  "You brought me home.  You helped me find my family again . . . ."

"Hey, what are friends for?" Tommy murmured.

"I don't know how to even begin to thank you . . . ."

Quite unexpectedly, Kim stood on tiptoes and brushed her lips against Tommy's cheek.  When she drew back, the two stared at each other in absolute amazement.  In fact, Tommy nearly forgot to breathe.  Kim had just kissed him!  He couldn't believe it!

"Kim?" he gulped, his eyes wide with unspoken questions.  Kim raised her eyes to him shyly, nibbling all the while on her lower lip--an old nervous habit.  Tommy read uncertainty in those eyes but no fear.

Then, very gently, he took her hands.  "That's all the thanks I'll ever need," he said quietly.

Without a word, Kim stepped closer, threading her arms around his waist, and, resting her cheek against his chest, hugged him.  Tommy carefully wrapped his arms around her, returning the embrace, and it was with great joy that he realized that she wasn't trembling in the slightest.


	6. Part VI: All I Want For Christmas

Part Six - All I Want For Christmas

Tommy reached for the carved chest on the top of the bookcase.  Glancing over his shoulder to make sure the girls were still occupied with getting ready, he raised the lid and unburied a small black box.  Opening the case, he smiled, grateful to know the contents were still there.

_You would have had this six Christmases ago if I'd have had it paid off,_ he mused, studying the glittering piece of jewelry thoughtfully.  Why he had never taken it back, he couldn't say.  Perhaps he'd been hoping against hope . . . .  _Maybe if you would have had this with you back then . . . ._

However, there was no point in dwelling on the past.  Just then, the phone rang, and Tommy tucked the box away.  _Soon,_ he promised himself.

"Tommy, can you get that?" Kim called out as the incessant ringing continued.

"Got it!" he confirmed.  "Hello?"

_"Tommy?  It's Kenny."_

"Hey man, what's up?  Do you want me to get Kim?"

_"Nope.  I just wanted to tell you mission accomplished.  Go ahead and send your letter."_

Tommy had held off sending his missive to Mrs. Dumas on the advice of Kim's dad.  Ken recommended that he and Kenny work on Caroline first to smooth the way for his note.

"That's awesome!  How'd it go?"

_"It wasn't easy.  Mom was as surprised as all get out when I told her that I had found Kim, but the minute I started talking about the rape and the baby, I'm afraid she started in on that 'no good, long-haired, son-of-a-bitch of a boyfriend of hers' . . . ."_

"Gee, and I used to think that she liked me," Tommy mused wryly.  "How'd you change her tune?"

_"I offered to fax her the hospital and police records that Dad subpoenaed.  Mom got really quiet after that, so I went on to give her the details as if I didn't know she already knew about them."_

"You didn't accuse her of turning her back on Kim or anything, did you?" Tommy asked anxiously; he'd been so careful not to do that in his letter, not wanting to make it any more difficult for Caroline to talk to Kim again than it already was going to be.  He had even pulled Kim's journal entries from the packet.

_"I didn't need to; I could almost hear her doing it to herself.  You know, I almost feel sorry for Mom."_

"What would you have done if she had asked for the faxes?  Your dad didn't really subpoena the records--did he?"  How could Ken have done that?  Wouldn't he have needed Kim's signature or something?

_"He sure did.  One of the papers he had Kimberly sign while they were busy with the paperwork was a release form; although, I don't think she knew what it was."_

Tommy remembered Kim and her father going over some financial papers--something about a small inheritance from an aunt.  "Your dad isn't planning on _doing_ anything like dredge all this up again, is he?"

_"Dad would love to nail those bastards for miscarriage of justice or dereliction of duty _

_or something!  With the descriptions Kim gave of her attackers, the police should have been able to find those creeps!  It doesn't look to me like they even tried!"_

Which had been Kim's perception, too.  "Kenny, Kim may not want him to open the case again," Tommy pointed out worriedly.

_"Dad knows he can't do anything without Kim's say so."_

"Good."

"Tommy, we're ready!" Olivia sang out as she scampered down the hall.

"I'll be right there, Princess," Tommy assured her.  To Kenny, he said, "I've got to run.  I'll get that sent out right away.  Thanks, man."

_"Thank you for doing this for Kim.  Good luck; you're going to need it."_

Tommy hung up the phone as Kim emerged from her bedroom.

"Who was that on the phone?" Kim asked.

"A salesman," he fibbed.  As they headed out the door, Tommy paused to retrieve an envelope--stamped and ready to go--from the computer desk.  "Do you mind if we stop by the post office on the way to the mall?"

*

Since Kim's father and brother had been in town the whole of Thanksgiving weekend, the three had had to postpone their visit to Santa.  Secretly, Tommy had been hoping that the mall would be less crowded since it wasn't the official opening weekend of the Christmas shopping season (and really, Christmas shopping season opened _way_ before Thanksgiving anymore); however, his hopes had been in vain.  He, Kim, and Olivia bided their time in quite a lengthy line to have a talk with ol' St. Nick.

"I don't believe this," Kim sighed.

"How long we've been standing here?" Tommy wondered.

"No, I have to go to the bathroom," she sighed.

Tommy chuckled softly.  "I thought you went before we left."

"I did," Olivia piped up.

"I was so busy worrying about _you_ that I completely forgot about me."

"You can go to the potty, Mommy; me and Tommy will stay in line," Olivia offered.

"But I don't want to miss your visit with Santa."

Now Kim really did sound like Olivia--too busy and not wanting to miss anything to take a break for the necessities of life, like the bathroom or sleep!  However, Tommy did his best not to laugh out loud. "Don't worry; we've got quite a while yet.  We'll probably still be right here when you get back."

With another frustrated sigh, Kim slipped under the que rope and hurried off.

"I didn't want to say anything to Mommy, but I'm kind of scared," Olivia whispered as she clutched Tommy's hand more tightly.

"Why?  You've been to visit Santa before, haven't you?"

Olivia shook her head.  "Mommy would try to take me, but something would always happen and we couldn't get to see him before he was gone."

_Intentional or coincidental_, Tommy wondered.  He could understand why Kim would have been reluctant to let Olivia visit Santa; if she'd asked for something Kim couldn't have afforded . . . Kim wouldn't have wanted Olivia to be disappointed.  "Surely Santa brought you presents at Christmas."

"He did.  Mommy would help me send him a letter when we missed him."

"Well, you don't have to worry about meeting him, Princess; Santa is the nicest person you could ever know."

"Tommy, is Santa really real?"

"Of course he is," Tommy answered.

"But that's not the real Santa up there, is it?" Olivia pursued.  "He can't be because there's a Santa here, a Santa at the other big mall . . . there are Santas all over the place; they can't all be real."

Tommy had to think fast.  Other interested ears were listening besides Olivia's.  "The way my father explained it to me is that the Santas you see in the stores and everywhere are Santa's deputies; even Santa needs to have a little help.  He can't be everywhere at once except on one special night of the year when his magic is the strongest--Christmas Eve.  Santa gives his deputies each a little of his special magic so that whatever they hear, he hears.  This is also how he knows who's been naughty and nice throughout the year."

"Nice save," the woman standing directly behind Tommy remarked.

"And he has other helpers--the elves to help him make the toys," Olivia added brightly.  However, her little brow furrowed in consternation.  "In Kindergarten the other day, Mrs.  Blackman showed us a picture of the North Pole--where Santa's castle is supposed to be, but there was nothing in the pictures.  How come?"

"More of Santa's magic," Tommy asserted.  "Only those people who really believe in Santa can see it and then only on Christmas Eve."

"I bet that keeps it safe from the bad people who don't like Santa," Olivia reasoned.  "Do you believe in Santa, Tommy?"

"I sure do, Princess," he replied,  recalling a certain Christmas from what seemed like a lifetime ago.

"But not everybody believes in Santa," she pointed out.  "Jamie from my class doesn't believe in Santa; she's Jewish, and her family has something called Han--han . . . ."

"Hanukkah," Tommy supplied.

"That's it.  It has something to do with lots of candles," Olivia continued.

"There are lots of people all over the world who don't believe in Santa Claus."

"Does that make them bad people, and does Santa hate them because they don't believe in him?"

"Sweetheart, Santa doesn't hate anybody," Tommy said.  "Just because someone doesn't believe in Santa doesn't mean he or she is a bad person.  Santa loves _everyone_ regardless of what they believe, and he respects their beliefs--just as we all should.  

"You see, Santa and Christmas, however it's celebrated, are all about goodness, kindness and love.  Other people may have other beliefs, but I think it's pretty safe to say that all people believe in goodness, kindness, and love.  That's what really matters, not how you celebrate those things."   

To Tommy's embarrassment, several of his listeners softly applauded.

"Well said," murmured a passerby who wore a yarmulke.

"More difficult questions?" Kim asked with amusement as she returned.

"Tommy was just telling me all about Santa," Olivia responded.

"So I gathered," she murmured; she gave Tommy's had a squeeze.  "You never cease to amaze me."

"So, um, what are you going to ask Santa for?" Tommy wondered, trying to extricate himself from the more difficult topic.

"I'm not sure.  Can Santa really make your wish come true?"

"If you've been a good girl . . . ."

"Have I, Mommy?"

"I think so."

". . . and it's something that you really, really want with all your heart and soul," Tommy continued then noticed Kim's inquiring gaze.  "That's what my folks always told me.  Mom and Dad told me not be greedy or selfish but to ask Santa for the one thing that I wanted more than anything, and if it was the right thing for me, Santa would grant my wish."

"Does Santa ever not give you what you wish for?" Olivia asked worriedly.

"Only very rarely," Tommy answered.

"But with his magic, can't he do anything he wants?"

"He won't give you something if it's hurtful to others or yourself, and there are some things that even Santa can't change."  His tone was suddenly sad.

"What didn't Santa bring you that you wanted with all your heart?" Kim wondered, picking up on his melancholy.

"My real parents," Tommy replied.  "The year I found out I was adopted--I was about Olivia's age--I asked Santa to bring my real parents back."

"And I thought not getting an elephant had been devastating," she murmured, thinking of her own childhood Christmas disappointments.

"I was so hurt that Christmas morning . . . and my folks tried to explain, but I wouldn't listen.  I was pretty disillusioned about Santa until we got a letter a few weeks later.  It was addressed to me from Santa.  He said he tried, but all that he was able to find out was that my  real parents were dead, and that not even he could bring back someone who died."

"That was sweet of your folks," Kim whispered.

Tommy nodded and whispered in reply, "They were so good about the whole thing; instead of being hurt, they really seemed to understand."  For Olivia's benefit, he continued, "At least I knew Santa had tried, and sometimes, when you make a wish, it doesn't come true for a long time--until the time is right."

"Oh?" Kim queried.

Tommy flashed her an impish grin.  "The year after that I wished for a brother!"

"So, Sweetheart, do you know what you'd like Santa to bring you?" Kim asked, returning to the original questions.  Olivia's turn was next.

"I sure do!" she chirped.

"Gonna enlighten us?" Tommy wondered.

"I can't.  If you tell a wish, it won't come true," Olivia insisted, and then Santa's helper came over to escort her up to Santa's chair.

"Now how are we supposed to find out what she wants for Christmas," Kim sighed with exasperation.

"We could always do what my dad did with me: take her to a toy store and see what grabs her attention," Tommy suggested.

"Sh!  Maybe we can overhear . . . ."

"So, Olivia, what is it you want for Christmas?" Santa queried.

"All I want for Christmas is . . . ."  Olivia leaned forward and whispered her request into the Santa's ear.

Tommy would have given anything to have known what Olivia said because he had never seen anyone look as completely flabbergasted as Santa did as Olivia sat back.

"What did she ask for?" Kim hissed, also taken aback by the man's expression.

"That's all you want for Christmas?" Santa gulped, trying to regain his composure.

"Uh huh," Olivia asserted.

"That's a pretty big wish, and Santa might need a little help with it."

"Just try, Santa.  Please?"  Olivia flashed him her biggest, most sincere puppy-eyes.

"Very well.  However, is there anything else that you'd like?"

"I don't know; a pink bike of my very own so I don't have to ride Tommy's old one all the time would be okay, but I really want the other thing more."

With that, Santa handed Olivia a candy cane and sent her on her way.  Before Kim or Tommy could slip away from Olivia to ask Santa what Olivia's request had been, another child scrambled up into his lap.  They were left to puzzle over the mysterious request as Olivia all but dragged them off into the mall.

"Can we go see all the pretty trees and lights now?"

* * *

"You know something, Mommy; it sure doesn't seem like it's almost Christmas," Olivia complained on a particularly dreary Sunday afternoon.

Kim was inclined to agree.  Christmas was just slightly over three weeks away, and yet for some reason, it just didn't feel like the holiday was right around the corner.

"I think I know why," Kim finally realized.

"Why?"

"Look around.  What's missing?"

"Christmas decorations!" Olivia exclaimed.

Between working and trying to sneak in the shopping, the trimmings had gotten lost in the shuffle.  They didn't even have a tree yet.

"Right.  Why don't we fancy this place up while Tommy is out helping his uncle," Kim suggested.

"Yeah!"

Kim looked around to see if she could find Tommy's decorations but couldn't seem to locate them.  He had to have some somewhere; Tommy always loved Christmas time.  However, even though they couldn't find _his_ holiday baubles, she knew were theirs were.  She and Olivia may not have had much, but at least they had always managed to deck out their small room for the season.

It wasn't long before Kim had popcorn popping so they could string it for garlands, and Olivia was busy cutting and pasting colorful strips of paper to make a chain.

"How about we cut some snowflakes for the front window?"

"I'm big enough to help cut them this year," Olivia asserted.

Kim retrieved a pile of paper from the printer tray and started folding.  Olivia looked to be the soul of concentration as she notched the paper with none-too-sharp safety scissors.

"Mommy, will I ever get to see real snow?" she asked suddenly.

"Of course you will.  How about next Saturday after Tommy and I get finished with work, we all drive up to the ski resort in the mountains, and you'll get to see lots of snow."

"Really?  All right!"

*

Tommy's nose was filled with the aroma of fresh popcorn as he opened the door, and the sights and sounds that immediately impacted him thereafter left him all but speechless.  There were paper snowflakes and stars taped to the living room window, paper chains hung about the doorway, and on the coffee table sat a tiny Christmas tree.  It couldn't have been more than the top portion of an artificial tree, but it was hung with colorful, homemade ornaments.  Kim, her back to the door, was winding a garland of popcorn around the branches, and as she worked, she sang:

_"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas_

_Everywhere you go . . . ."_

He had forgotten what a beautiful singing voice she had.

"Olivia, stop eating the popcorn!" Kim chided suddenly.

Tommy felt his heart swelling with his surging emotions.  He hadn't given decorating for Christmas a thought.  Last year, he hadn't bothered.  His heart just hadn't been into it, and it seemed pointless since he had spent the holidays with his folks.  But seeing what a difference the simple touches Olivia and Kim made drove home the fact that his apartment had been very, very lonely this time last year.

"Mommy, where can I hang my sock?" Olivia queried, holding up a red and white bootie with her name emblazoned in glitter on the cuff.

"And how will Santa get in here to fill it since we don't have a chimney?" Tommy asked, announcing his presence.

"He'll come in through the window just like he did in Florida," Olivia answered, her tone telling Tommy that he was being dense.

"So, what do you think?" Kim inquired.

"You two have done an awesome job," he replied.  "I should have done this sooner . . . I have a whole bunch of ornaments and things around here somewhere--stuff Mom's been saving for me for years."

"I looked but couldn't find anything."

"I think I know where they're at."

"Mommy, can I ask you something?  What does Santa do if you ask for a present that won't fit under a Christmas tree?" Olivia wondered.

"He'll find some place to leave it," Kim assured her.

"Well, if you asked for something too big to put under a little tree, we'll just have to get us a tree big enough to put big presents underneath," Tommy interjected, his eyes lighting up at the thought.  "Come on; grab your coats and let's go."

"Go where?" Kim asked.

"To get a Christmas tree."

"But we have a tree already," Olivia insisted.

"And it's a wonderful little tree, but I want to get a special one for our first Christmas together."

*

"Slow down, Tommy," Kim scolded as she struggled with her end of the plastic-bagged bundle.  She was still shaking her head in amazement at Tommy's behavior.  He was almost as giddy as a little kid.

"Whoa!" Tommy yelped as he momentarily lost his footing on the stairs and their burden shifted.

"Thomas Oliver, don't you _dare_ fall on me!"

"Don't squish Mommy!" Olivia squeaked.

"Just open the door, Princess; this is heavy," Tommy grunted.  None too soon they squeezed their load through the doorway and scarcely had it inside when Tommy started undoing the bindings.

"Why don't you wait until we know where we're going to put it," Kim recommended reasonably.

"How about right smack dab in the middle of the room?"

Kim merely gave him a hands-on-hips, don't-be-absurd look which took none of the air out of Tommy's bubble of happiness.

"Okay, how about against the far wall in front of the painting?" he compromised.

"Are you sure this tree is going to fit?" Kim wondered.  Tommy had spent what seemed like hours searching for what he considered the perfect tree.  "It's awfully tall."

"It's not that much taller than I am, and I clear the ceiling with room to spare."

"You're not going to be propped up in a tree stand either."

"Don't worry; it'll fit."  So saying, Tommy stood the tree up on its trunk--or rather tried to stand it up.  Kim rolled her eyes and shook her head.  Olivia giggled.

"So we need to take a little off the bottom," he conceded sheepishly.

"I'll go down to the truck and get your tool box," Kim offered, biting back her laughter.

*

"There," Tommy declared happily, standing back and regarding the evergreen with satisfaction.  It as yet sported no trimmings, but it was standing up straight--finally.

"We are going to be picking up needles for a month of Sundays," Kim sighed, wincing as she stepped on a sharp quill.  "Why a live tree?  Wouldn't an artificial one have been a lot easier?"

"Just take a deep breath," he instructed, inhaling.  Then, he let out a pleased sigh.  "Doesn't that take you back to Christmas time when you were Olivia's age?"

Indeed it did.  Kim could remember bubbling over with excitement, scarcely able to sit still while her father and brother set up the tree.  She had wanted to start decorating right away!  Oh, and how the smell of that pine tree would fill the house.  She could remember just sitting there watching the twinkling lights and smelling that wonderful fragrance.

"A real Christmas tree," Olivia breathed in wonder, her eyes saucer-wide and bright with excitement.  

Kim felt warm all over as she basked in her daughter's joyous glow.  Then, she noticed that Tommy wore almost the exact same expression.  "As gorgeous as it is, don't you think we should fancy it up?"

"Come on, the boxes are under my bed," Tommy said, and the three of them quickly retrieved them.

"Where did you get all these?" Kim wondered as she began unpacking the ornaments.

"My grandparents mostly," Tommy explained as he attempted to untangle the lights.  "Every Christmas since I was a baby, my Grandma and Grandpa Michaels would give me an ornament for Christmas.  After they died, Aunt Elsa continued the tradition."

"That's a very good idea," Kim said with a meaningful glance at Olivia who was busy ogling the star for the tree top.

"Already taken care of," Tommy assured her softly.

"Some of these are absolutely gorgeous," she murmured as she examined a delicate angel of blown glass.

"Dad would bring things home from the places he'd travel to on business trips.  Grandma Sarah divided up her ornament collection a few years ago, and my folks set Dad's share aside for me.  That's where the lights and a few other goodies came from.  The treeskirt was one my grandmother crocheted."

"That is so neat; I wish my family had traditions and stuff like that."

"You're welcome to share mine," Tommy offered.

Kim found herself blushing, wondering if Tommy realized just what that sounded like.

*

After several hours of tangled strings of lights, burned out bulbs, ornaments placed here then moved there, knotted garlands, and needle pricks, the trio stood back to admire their handiwork.

"Only one thing left," Tommy declared, holding up the star.

"Who gets to do the honors?" Kim wondered.

"Can I?" Olivia asked eagerly.

"How about we all do it," Tommy suggested.

"What do you mean?" Kim queried.

"Olivia, you take the star; Kim, you pick up Olivia while I pick up you."

Kim yelped as Tommy hoisted her up, and the three nearly toppled over into the tree, but they somehow managed to get the star in place.

It was almost dark outside, and Tommy shut off all the lights in the apartment except for the tree lights.

"It's the most beautifulest Christmas tree I've seen in my whole life," Olivia murmured.

"You know what, Princess; I think you're right," Tommy agreed. 

As they stood in the glow of the colored lights, he slid his arm around Kim's shoulder, and she leaned into him.  She noticed that they each had a hand on one of Olivia's shoulders, and she remembered her childhood again, standing with her parents before the newly decorated tree just as she and Tommy and Olivia stood now.

* * *

Tommy groggily rolled over and looked at the clock as the clamoring of the phone pulled him out of a sound sleep: 05:30.

"Aw man, go away!" Tommy groaned.  Who in the hell would be calling at this hour of the morning? He was seriously tempted just to roll back over and bury his head under his pillow until the infernal device stopped ringing; however, the caller was being very persistent, and he was the one who had forgotten to turn on the answering machine.  If he didn't get it, the noise was liable to wake up Kim and Olivia.  Blearily, he plodded into the kitchen.

"Hello," he mumbled around a yawn.

_"Is this Tommy Oliver?"_ a tremulous, accented voice on the other end queried.

_Not at this hour of the morning!_ he thought with a surly grumble.  "Speaking."

_"I'm sorry . . . I know it's early there, but I just got your letter, and I simply couldn't wait any longer . . . ."_

"Who is this?"

_"Caroline Dumas.  Kimberly's mother."_

That was more sobering than a whole pot of sludge--which Tommy promptly put on to brew.  Before he could say anything further, Caroline continued to ramble on anxiously.

_"Did you really mean what you said in your letter--about Kimberly wanting to talk to me?  Please, Tommy, you have no idea . . . .  I'm sure she must have told you what happened between us.  I never meant to do that to my baby!  I never meant to cut her out of my life, but I was just so hurt and angry . . . when she told me, I didn't want to believe her . . . .  I wanted so much for Kim, and her life was ruined just like mine was . . . I blamed her.  I blamed you . . . ."_

"Calm down, Mrs. Dumas," Tommy said when he could get a word in edgewise.

_"I didn't want her to have to give up everything the way I did!  I just didn't think . . . I didn't know she'd react like that . . . .  I didn't mean to say such hurtful things!  I wanted to apologize, but I didn't know how.  I've wanted to talk to her for so long, but I was afraid that she hated me--and deservedly so . . . . Oh, god . . . .!"_

"It's all right, Caroline; just take it easy," Tommy tried again to soothe her, feeling rather at a loss as to how to handle Kim's distraught mother.  He'd been more prepared for cold fury, not repentant tears.  "A lot of things got said and done in the heat of the moment that folks didn't intend to say and do.  All that matters now is putting those things to rights."

_"Can you ever forgive me . . . for what I said about you . . . for what I've done . . . ?"_

"It isn't my place to offer you forgiveness; that's Kim's.  However, I would never have sent that letter if she wasn't willing to work things out.  Do you really want to talk to her and get things straightened out?"

_"More than anything!  Will you help me get in touch with my daughter?"_

"Of course, Caroline."

_"Bless you, Tommy . . . ."_

"Tommy?" Olivia interrupted sleepily, tugging at the legs of his pajama bottoms.

"What are you doing up, Princess?" Tommy wondered.

"The phone woke me."

_"I'm sorry, Tommy.  I should have thought . . . I didn't mean to wake your daughter,"_ Caroline apologized.

"Actually, that's Olivia," he replied, inspiration hitting.

_"O-Olivia?  You mean Kim's daughter?"_

"Yes.  Would you like to talk to her?"

"Who are you talking to, Tommy?" Olivia wondered.

"Mrs. Dumas; she an old friend of your mom's. Do you want to say 'hi?'  I've gotta run down the hall a minute."

"I guess so."

"I'll be right back."  Tommy handed Olivia the phone and as soon as the tot began to talk, he hurried down the hall to Kim's room.

"Kim," he called out as he entered.

"Huh?  Wazzat the phone?" Kim mumbled.

"It's for you."

"Me?  At this hour?  Who is it?"

"They said it was important," Tommy answered evasively, trying to bite back a grin.

"Okay, I'll be right there."

Leaving Kim to get out of bed, Tommy returned to the kitchen.

"Okay, Princess, I'm back," he announced.

"Aw . . . ." Olivia pouted.  "I gotta go, Mrs. Doo-ma; Tommy's here.  Yeah, it was nice talking to you, too.  Bye!" Olivia handed the receiver back to Tommy.

"Enjoy yourself?" Tommy queried as he took over.

_"T-that was my granddaughter?  She's such a bright little thing."_

"She's a very special girl--just like her mother."

_"I-is Kimberly there as well?"_

"Uh huh, and here she is," Tommy declared as Kim ambled into the kitchen.

_"Tommy, wait, I'm not sure I'm ready . . . ."_

But Tommy never heard the rest of Caroline's protest as he handed the phone to an expectant, sleepy Kimberly.

"This is Kim . . . ." she began uncertainly, and Tommy hastily grabbed a chair as Kim went white and an expression of shock filled her face.  She sank limply into the seat. She flashed Tommy a wild, almost frightened look, and he urged her on with a smile and a nod.  "M-mom?"

"Come on, Olivia; let's give your mom some peace and quiet," Tommy suggested softly, ushering the puzzled little girl into the living room, allowing Kim to have her reunion in private.

"Why did Mommy call Mrs. Dumas 'mom?'" Olivia wondered.

"Because that's who she is."

"You mean that was my real grandma?"

"Sure thing."

"Wow!" Olivia gasped.  "How come it sounds like Mommy is crying?"

"Sometimes, when grown ups are very, very happy, they cry," Tommy explained.

"That sounds silly!"

Cartoons weren't even on yet, and Olivia was much too excited to go back to sleep, so Tommy popped a video in the VCR for her.  They had scarcely fast forwarded through the previews when Olivia announced, "I'm hungry; can I have some cereal?"

On his way to the kitchen, Tommy picked up the box of tissues.  His back was to Olivia, but he caught a movement out of the corner of his eye; turning to look, he found the girl standing before the Christmas tree fingering this or that ornament.  It'd been more than a week since they had put up the tree, but she was still fascinated with it.  Tommy watched her for a few moments but didn't say anything.  Kim had told Olivia not to play with the ornaments, but she wasn't hurting anything.  He smiled fondly then headed on to the kitchen.

Clearing the doorway, he noticed that Kim had pulled the chair over to the table; the way she leaned against the surface gave him the impression that the piece of furniture was the only thing holding her up.  She hadn't the strength to do it on her own.  Tears coursed down her cheeks in tiny rivers which she made no move to wipe away.  Without a word, he set the tissues down next to her; however, before he could set about fetching Olivia's breakfast, Kim caught his hand and held him fast.

"Uh huh," she mumbled into the receiver, her voice choked with her overwhelming emotions.  She gave Tommy's hand a fierce squeeze as she beamed up at him.  "Yes . . . me, too.  Okay, Mom . . .  I'll talk to you later . . . I-I love you, too."

Almost in a daze, Kim hung up the phone.

"That was a quick call," Tommy noted softly.

"She's going to call back later when I'm more awake and we're both calmer," Kim said numbly.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," he agreed.

"Oh, Tommy, you were right!  It was just like you told me," she sniffled.  "Mom never meant for this to happen, and she's been just as scared to get in touch with me as I was to get in touch with her."

"So now what?"

"We still have a lot of things to discuss.  We both know it's going to take some time to get everything worked out and rebuild our relationship, but . . . I have my mom back!"  Kim threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly.  "Thank you, Tommy; thank you _so_ much.  First my dad and Kenny, now this . . . ."

"Hey, all I did was send a letter; you and your mom were the ones who decided to take the risk and try to reach out to each other after all this time," he replied, returning the embrace and softly stroking her hair.

Just then Olivia wandered into the kitchen.  Tommy noted her arrival and was puzzled by the look on her face.  She regarded him and Kim as if she knew something they didn't.

"What's wrong, Mommy?" she asked, concerned.

"Nothing, Sweetie," Kim assured her, wiping her eyes and opening her arms to her daughter.  Olivia scampered into the hug.

"Then why are you crying?"

"Because I'm happy."

"Are you and your mommy friends again?"

"Yes, honey, we are."

"Goody!  Now I have another grandma!"

Kim gave Olivia a jubilant squeeze, and Tommy laughed and tousled her hair.

"Tommy, I'm still hungry," Olivia declared plaintively.

"You're always hungry," Tommy teased.  "Maybe I should start calling you 'Rocky.'"

Olivia giggled and stuck her tongue out at him.

* * *

Kim could not suppress the grin which spread across her face as she wrote across Dr. Carter's bill with a triumphant flourish: PAID IN FULL.  For a moment, all she could do was sit there and stare at the check and the statement; there had been times when she despaired of ever seeing this day, and she wanted to savor the moment.

Of course, it hadn't quite come by her own efforts.  She had her father and Great Aunt Madelyne to thank for it.  She and her father had gone 'round and 'round Thanksgiving weekend about the issue of financial assistance.

_"I don't **want** your money!  Don't you understand?  This is something I need to do on my own!"_

Ultimately, she had told him that if he really wanted to give her money to set up a college fund for Olivia.  However, the inheritance was another matter.  Her father's aunt had never married, and upon her death, she had made bequests to her nieces and nephews (Kim's father had been one of her favorites), and in some cases, great-nieces and -nephews.  That was money Kim felt entitled to.  It wasn't a large sum; although, it had accumulated some interest in the time her father had held it for her.  Yet, it was enough to pay off Dr. Carter and a few of her other small credit cards debts and, most importantly, Tommy.

That was something she wanted so desperately to clear up: her debts with Tommy.  She felt like such a hypocrite talking about not accepting her father's charity when she was still accepting Tommy's.  She wouldn't really be able to feel good about herself until she could honestly say that she could stand on her own two feet.  Paying off the money she owed him went a long way to getting her on the right track.

_Now, if I can just afford a place for Olivia and me to live so I wouldn't have to rely on Tommy for that, too . . . ._

Kim set the bills aside and reached for the classified ad section of the newspaper.

*

Tommy headed into the kitchen with an armload of groceries.  He noticed that Kim had her bills spread out all over the table, but remarkably, he found her smiling!  That had never happened before.

"What's up?" he wondered as he began putting the food away.

"Some good news," she answered, bounding up from her chair happily.

"While doing your bills?" he queried warily.

"Uh huh.  Here."

"What's this?" he asked as she handed him a check.  Then, she handed him the billing statement he had generated at her insistence.  He noticed that it said "paid in full" in big red letters.

"Just what it says," she responded.

"But how . . . ?"

"The money Aunt Madelyne left me.  I had enough to cover one large bill and several smaller ones, leaving me with my Visa and the hospital bill."

"I can't accept this, Kim," he demurred, handing the check back to her.  She refused to take it.

"Why not?  After all, we agreed that I would pay you back."

"When your other obligations were taken care of."

"Tommy, please.  I _want_ to pay you back," she insisted.  "It's the very least I can do; rightfully, I owe you for back rent and utilities and groceries . . . ."

"Kim, you don't owe me anything for living expenses; we've been over this," Tommy sighed.  "_I'm_ not paying anything to live here; I _own_ the building now.  And as far as utilities go, I'm not using that much more electricity or water than I did before you guys lived here."

"I just don't feel right letting you take care of all this for me.  I want to be able to pay my share," Kim asserted.

"I know you do, and you will, when you can.  Right now, though, you have other expenses you need to take care of."

"Actually, I'm pretty close to a point where I think I can contribute, even with my last two bills," Kim announced with a bright smile.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, come see."  She dragged him back over to the table.  Tommy hadn't paid much attention to the newspaper, but now he saw that she had circled several ads in the classifieds.  Next to the notebook with her figures were last month's utility bills.  He began to feel very uneasy, a nervous lump forming in the pit of his stomach.

"I've found some apartments for rent," Kim began.  "They're small, one bedroom places, but a couple are in this area so I wouldn't have to change Olivia's school.  It'd be rather like living in the dorm again, but the rents are reasonable.  I estimated the utility expense based on your past charges.  With food and a monthly bus pass and making minimum payments on my bills, I figure that once I get Christmas paid for Olivia and I could move into a place of our own--probably around February or March.  We wouldn't have a lot left over for extras or anything like that, but still . . . ."

Tommy felt like someone had kicked him in the stomach.  From the start, Kim had said that she hadn't intended to stay with him indefinitely--only until she got her feet under her--but why did it have to be so soon? 

"Tommy?" Kim prompted when he didn't say anything.  "Is something wrong?"

"N-no," he stammered, trying to get a grip on his emotions.

"Isn't that great?" she beamed happily.

He couldn't bear the thought of Kim and Olivia moving out, and he murmured without conviction, "It's wonderful news."  The thing was, he knew how much being able to hold her own meant to Kim.  As miserable as the thought made him, he had to say, "I'm so happy and proud of you."

"I know I'd have to borrow some furniture and a few things, but . . . ." she gushed, heedless of the light that had faded from Tommy's eyes as he listened to her enthusiastic plans.

* * *

"Oh, Maggie, I just can't believe it!" Kim chirped as Maggie handed her the end of the garland to fasten over the top of the door frame.

They were part of the bevy of parents helping decorate the Youth Center for the annual holiday party for the children of Little Angel's Haven.  This year, Kelly's junior high class was a sponsor, and she had asked Kim and Tommy to be chaperones along with her mother.

"After all this time, I'm finally going to be able stand on my own!" Kim continued in an elated rush.

"That's wonderful, Kim," Maggie congratulated her.

"Yeah, but I don't think Tommy thinks so," Kim remarked, glancing over to where Tommy was helping Olivia put the star on the top of the Christmas tree.  Suddenly, Kim recalled Tommy and another little girl placing a star a-top the Youth Center tree; unlike that long ago Christmas, there seemed to be no happiness in Tommy now.  Although he was smiling, there was a sadness about him; his smile never seemed to reach his eyes.

"I was going to ask if you had had a fight," Maggie said delicately.  "The two of you have seemed so happy together since Thanksgiving . . . ."

"I don't know what it is."

"Maybe he received some bad news."

"Actually, I think I first noticed him being so gloomy right after I told him about being able to afford to my own place."

"As I said, maybe he received some bad news."

"What do you mean?" Kim wondered, not following Maggie's train of thought.

"Kim, are you really planning on moving out of Tommy's place?" Maggie asked, "because I think Tommy believes that you are.  He really loves you and Olivia, and having you live with him has brought him a lot of happiness--anyone who knows him could tell you that.  I think he's afraid he might lose you again if you leave."

"I guess I hadn't thought about it from his perspective."

"I think maybe the two of you need to have a little talk."

"You may be right.  I'll sit him down after we finish up here.  Would you hand me the sprig of mistletoe?"

*

Tommy cast about trying to see where Olivia had wandered off to.  There were so many children underfoot . . . .  He finally spied her with Min oohing and aahing over the presents under the tree.  Then, he looked around for Kim.  He located her over by the doorway working on decorations with Maggie.  He sighed; he knew he shouldn't let Kim's announcement about wanting to move out get to him, but he couldn't help it.  He didn't want her to go.

_Then why don't you just tell her!_

There were other things he wanted to tell her as well, but now . . . .  He thought of the little black box hidden away a-top the bookcase.  There was no way he could give it to her now.  It'd come across as a bribe to get her to stay and not a genuine token of his love, and if she accepted it, how could he ever be certain she did so because she felt the same way or because she felt she owed it to him.  No, that was going to have to wait a little longer, too.

He noticed that Maggie had wandered off, and someone had taken the step ladder Kim had been using.  Presently, she was jumping up, trying to reach something in a way that made his heart ache with _deja vu_.  She was trying to hang the mistletoe.

"Hey, need some help?" he queried as he wandered over.

"Yes, I do," she answered, handing him the sprig.  

He reached up and fastened it to the garland.  "There you go."

"Thank you!"  And she playfully offered him her cheek to kiss.  Without Bulk and Skull to interrupt them as they had once upon a time, Tommy gave her the requisite peck, but it lacked real feeling.  Kim frowned at him.  "Tommy, what's wrong?  You've been moping around for days," she said.

"I know.  I'm sorry," he sighed.

"Is it because of what I told you about being able to move out?"

"Yes," he replied, deciding he had nothing to lose by being up-front with her.  "Kim, I don't want you and Olivia to move out.  These last five months have been the best five months that I can remember.  I enjoy having you guys around; it'd be very lonely without you."

"Oh, Tommy . . . ." she sighed with a kind smile as she smoothed a hand up and down his arm.  For a moment, she couldn't meet his imploring gaze, but when she did, it was with bright eyes and a glowing smile.  "Just because I'm able to move out doesn't mean I will."

Tommy just stared at her, uncomprehending and unable to find his voice.

"Olivia and I will have to move out eventually--simply because we'll need more space as she gets bigger, but until then, as long as you'll have us, there's no real reason for us to move.  Your apartment is home now, and I don't want to disrupt Olivia's sense of security if I don't have to."

"You're not moving out?" Tommy stammered.

Kim shook her head.

"Then what was all that talk about the apartment and budgets and . . . ?"

"It was important for me to know that I _could_ move out if I wanted to, that I could make it on my own and support Olivia.  I needed to know that I wasn't _just_ depending on you.  I'm staying with you because I _want_ to, not because I _have_ to."

"You're not moving out!" Tommy declared happily, and he pulled Kim into a fierce hug.  Then, for the sheer joy of it, he lifted her into the air and spun her around.

"Tommy!" she laughed as she flew about.

"You have no idea how happy you've made me!" he insisted. "I have been going nuts ever since you started talking about leaving . . . ."

"Did you really believe you'd be rid of us just like that?" Kim smirked.  "Olivia would make my life a living hell if I made her leave!  However, we are going to renegotiate the terms of our living arrangement.  Once the dust from Christmas settles, I want to start contributing financially."

"And I want you to pay off your other bills first," Tommy insisted, "but we can discuss this later, right now . . . ."

"Mommy!  Tommy!  Guess what!" Olivia chirped excitedly as she raced up to them and began tugging on their clothing.

"What is it, Princess?" Tommy asked.

"You're standing under the misty-toad," she announced.

"Mistletoe," Kim corrected.

"An' Mrs. Maggie said that the rules say that when two people stand under the misty-toad they have to kiss," she declared with a look of triumph in her expression.

Both Tommy and Kim shot Maggie inquiring gazes, and she assumed a "who me?" air of innocence then went back to decorating.  The two turned their attention to each other.

"So . . . ?" Kim began, chewing on her bottom lip, a tiny, bashful grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"You know you don't have to if you really don't want to," Tommy assured her more out of habit than anything else.  Kim hadn't displayed any fear of being close to him in a while.

"But I want to," she replied, grabbing his jacket and pulling him closer. "After all, I love you."

Tommy's eyes went saucer-wide at her admission, and before he could say anything, Kim pressed her mouth to his in a lingering, emotion-laden kiss.   Tommy had forgotten how soft and warm Kim's lips were and how well they seemed to mold against his own.  He tightened the embrace, kissing her back with the full force of his pent up emotions.  The exchange left them both more than a little breathless when they finally parted.

"Besides," Kim continued with a mischievous grin, glancing down at Olivia, who was just beside herself with delight, "it's the rules."

* * *

"That's the last of it," Kim declared with a yawn, placing the package under the tree.  She inhaled deeply, the strong pine scent filling her senses.  Looking over the explosion of brightly colored paper and ribbons, Kim shook her head.  "It just seems like so much...."

"Those aren't all for Olivia, you know," Tommy reminded her as he put the finishing touches on the training wheels of a pint-sized pink bicycle.  "There are yours, mine, my parents', your parents' . . . we really didn't go overboard."

"I can't believe my Mom's going to be here the day after Christmas," Kim murmured for the umpteenth time that day.  They had received a Christmas card from her mother, and in it was a note with her flight information.  She and Adrian were joining them for the holidays.  "I'm going to see my mother for the first time in almost six years!"

"Hey, none of that," Tommy chided her gently, wiping a glistening teardrop from her cheek.  He wrapped her in his arms, and Kim relaxed into the feeling of warmth and security that rushed through her--a feeling that was still very much brand new to her, and one that she was grateful to know.

"Thank you, Tommy.  For everything.  I've never seen Olivia so happy; she's going to remember this Christmas forever."

"What about you?  I'd like to think that I've made you happy, too," Tommy said quietly, "because having you and Olivia here has brought me more joy than I can say."

"You have, Tommy; you have."

Tommy crossed over to her and pulled her into a gentle hug.  "I love you," he murmured.

Kim rested her head against his chest.  "You know, when you first told me that, I almost couldn't believe you.  I didn't think I deserved your love after everything that's happened."

"Do you believe me now?"

"Yes.  That night, I wanted so badly to tell you how I felt, but I didn't think I had the right--not until I knew I could say 'I love you' and know that it wasn't just out of gratitude."

"Do you have any idea how badly I wanted to hear you say that?" Tommy sighed.

"About as badly as I wanted to say it," she responded with a grin.  "I love you, Tommy."

Tommy reached for her chin and gently tilted it up.

"We're not standing under the 'misty-toad,'" Kim teased quietly.

"Do we really need it?"

"No."

Their lips met, and the two were lost in a kiss that seemed to envelope them completely in the warmth of their emotions.  So involved were they that they jumped when the clock struck midnight.

"Merry Christmas, Kim," Tommy murmured.

"Merry Christmas, Tommy," Kim replied, barely able to tear her lips from his.  Then, Tommy released her, and she frowned puzzledly as he reached into the branches of the tree.

"I have been wanting to give you this for forever," he announced eagerly as he pulled out a small, gold foil-wrapped box and presented it to her.

With trembling fingers, Kim untied the ribbon and tore away the paper.  Inside the white cardboard she found a black jeweler's box.  She looked up at Tommy with brimming eyes, her heart pounding in her chest.  Tommy took the box and opened it, revealing a sparkling diamond solitaire ring.

"I've always wanted to give this to you," Tommy repeated, sliding the ring out of the notch.  He held her left hand, softly stroking the back.  Kim shivered with the memory of the first time he had ever done that to her--the afternoon they shared their first kiss.  "I fell for you the moment I laid eyes on you,  and as that deepened into love, I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.  I'd like for you to spend the rest of your life with me--as my wife.  Kimberly, will you marry me?"

Time seemed to stand still for Kim as she looked up into the depths of Tommy's love-filled, imploring eyes.  There were still so many fears and uncertainties locked inside her that she hadn't even begun to address yet--things that would affect a relationship with Tommy.  However, she now knew and truly believed that she could face them--and overcome them.

"Yes, Tommy, I will."

Kim could not believe the joy she felt swelling in her heart as Tommy, with trembling fingers, slid the engagement ring onto her finger.  Happy tears spilled down her cheeks as he crushed her in a jubilant hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," he whispered over and over, holding her as if he'd never let her go.  Kim knew she'd never let him go--ever again.

When he finally released her, all she could do was stare at the glittering rock perched on her finger.  "I can't believe it," she murmured.

"Me either," Tommy confessed, his relief evident.  Kim placed a hand over his heart and found it pounding a mile a minute.

"So, were you more nervous about asking me to marry you or asking me out that first time?" she teased.

"I'm not sure.  If my ribs still hurt when I wake up in the morning, I think proposing will be the winner."

Kim flashed him a radiant smile.  "How long have you had this?  Since October?"

Tommy ran his hand up under his hair and around his neck.  "Actually, I've had it since before you went to Florida."

"What?"

"Well, not actually _had_ it, more like paying on it," he confessed.  "I wanted so badly to give this to you before you left, but . . . ."

"Have you any idea how badly I hoped you'd do something like that back then?" she laughed.  "That Christmas, I wanted more than anything for you to propose or ask me to stay or something!  I guess you were right when you told Olivia that sometimes Santa doesn't give you what you want until the time is right."

The two stood in each other's arms for a long, long time, reveling in the warmth and safety of their love.

"You know, we should probably get to bed," Kim murmured.  "Olivia's liable to be up in a few hours."

"I know.  It's just that I still can't believe you said yes," Tommy replied, taking Kim's left hand once again and regarding the token he had placed upon her finger.  "It looks so small," he sighed.  "I wanted to get you a larger one, but back then it was all I could afford.  We could always take this one in and . . . ."

"No.  Don't you dare!" Kim insisted.  "I don't want any other ring but this one.  It means more to me because you got it for me at a time when all we knew was that we loved each other; we didn't know what it meant to be hurt or frightened or lonely.  We do now, and this ring--and our love--made it through those dark times, and both shine just as brightly now as they did then."

She hoped Tommy understood what she was trying to say and saw that he did.

Just then the pair heard a plaintive cry.  Kim quickly disengaged herself and hurried down the hall; she paused in the doorway of her room and discovered Olivia sitting up in the big bed, not really awake.  She shivered with cold.  Kim groaned.

"Oh, Sweetie . . . ."

"What happened?" Tommy asked, coming up behind her.

"Someone had an accident in my bed," Kim sighed resignedly.  "I guess she was so excited about Santa and everything that she forgot to go to the bathroom."

Tommy bit back a chuckle, and the two of them tended to the mess.  Kim dressed Olivia in fresh panties and a nightgown while Tommy stripped the bed.  He brought in the Lysol to spray down the mattress as Kim tucked the girl back into her trundle bed.

"This is just wonderful," Kim muttered as she rummaged through her drawer for her own nightwear.  She grabbed the first thing she laid her hands on.  She snatched up a pillow then marched out to the hall closet to grab a spare blanket.  "I hope Santa doesn't mind me sleeping on the couch."

"Kim, take my bed.  I'll sleep on the couch; it's not all that comfortable," Tommy offered.

"Couldn't prove it by you on Sunday afternoons," Kim said.  "You're always sprawled all over the thing."

"That's to avoid all the lumps," he quipped.

"I'll be fine, Tommy."

"If you're really sure, but if you change your mind, come wake me up, and I'll trade," he said.

"Deal."

Kim popped into the bathroom to get dressed for bed and blushed when she realized just what she had grabbed to wear to bed: Tommy's pajama top.  She hadn't returned it after she had borrowed it last August.  Somehow, though, she found it fitting.

When she emerged all ready for bed, she found that Tommy was, too--dressed in the mates to her top.  The two shared sheepish smiles.  He had also fixed up the couch for her.

"Now, you're sure you don't want to trade places?" he asked again.

"Trust me; if I can't sleep, I'll be in to wake you.  I don't want to be cranky for the best Christmas my daughter will ever have."

"All right.  'Night, Beautiful."

"Good night, Tommy."

*

Kim tossed and turned, and tossed and turned some more.  Finally, she sat up and looked at the clock.  It was almost two.  She groaned.  Tommy hadn't been kidding about the couch.  _Maybe I should have bought him a sofa for Christmas_, she mused ruefully.  As much as she hated to, she was going to have to take Tommy up on his offer.  Pillow tucked up under her arm, she plodded down the hall to Tommy's room.

He had left the door open, so she wandered right in.  He lay splayed out on his bed most comfortably; Kim sighed enviously.

"Okay, Tommy, your turn to have the couch," she said around a yawn.  She sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to shake him awake.  He didn't even budge.  "Aw, come on, Tommy; this is not fair."

Kim blew a strand of hair out her face.  Tommy was _sound_ asleep.  With a frustrated sigh, she flopped back on the bed, trying to figure out just how she was going to get some sleep.

*

A sharp jab in the ribs brought Tommy almost out of his deep sleep.  His eyes flickered open, and the mocking numbers on the clock read 03:00.

"C'mon, Sweetie, quit hogging the bed; scoot over and give mommy some room," said a sleepy voice, followed by another poke in the back.

Tommy rolled over, startled into wakefulness.  To his amazement, Kim lay snuggled up next to him.  He had absolutely no idea how she got there, but if she wanted to share his bed instead of crashing on the lumpy couch, he had no complaints.  She was pulled into a tight ball, shivering as if cold.  He reached down and pulled the blanket up over both of them.  Then, he lay on his side, gazing at Kim and gently stroking her hair until he lulled himself back into a contented sleep.

* * *

"Tommy!  Tommy, wake up!  I can't find Mommy!"

Wakefulness was not slow in returning as a thirty-some-odd-pound bundle of energy pounced on him most insistently.  Tommy unburied his head and smiled up at the concerned tot.  "Merry Christmas, Princess."

"Tommy, where's Mommy?" Olivia repeated.

"Easy, honey, Mommy's right . . . ."

Tommy grinned from ear to ear as Kim woke up and found herself in his bed.  Her expression of surprise and confusion were priceless.

"Mommy, why are you sleeping in Tommy's bed?" Olivia wondered.

"I was sort of wondering the same thing myself," Tommy interjected teasingly.

"I came in here to boot you out onto the couch; I don't know . . . ." she began, totally flabbergasted.  Then, she shrugged sheepishly.  "I guess when I couldn't wake you up, I just fell asleep again."

"I don't mind," he said more softly.  "I think I could get used to waking up next to you really quickly."

Kim flushed scarlet and brushed the hair out of her eyes.

"Ooh, Mommy, what a pretty ring!" Olivia gasped.  She grabbed Kim's hand and pulled it towards her for a closer look.  "Where'd you get it?"

"It was my Christmas present from Tommy," Kim answered with quiet pride.

"Is it what you always wanted?"

"Yes, honey, it is.  Very much so."

"Can I ask you something?" Olivia continued without letting either adult get a word in edgewise.  "On TV and stuff, mommies and daddies sleep together in the same bed, don't they?" 

"Generally, yes," Tommy answered.  He had a feeling he knew where this was headed, but he couldn't tell if Kim had a clue or not.

"Well, since you and Mommy are sleeping in your bed, does that mean you're going to be my daddy now?" she asked.

"Olivia!" Kim gasped.

"Actually, Princess, the ring means I'm going to be your daddy," Tommy said.  "Last night, I asked your mom to marry me, and she said she would."

"YES!" Olivia shouted, pumping her little fists into the air and bouncing on the bed excitedly.  "You were right, Tommy; Santa does bring you what you want if you really, really wanted it with all your heart and soul!"

"What do you mean?" Kim asked.

"Well, when I saw Santa, I told him that all I wanted for Christmas was for Tommy to be my daddy."

"You didn't!"

"No wondered he looked so stunned," Tommy murmured.

"And he did!  Santa made Tommy my daddy!"

"I can't believe she did that," Kim groaned, burying her face in Tommy's chest.

"Well, Santa gave _me_ the thing I really, really wanted for Christmas--for you to say yes," Tommy whispered.

"It's a good thing for you two, then, that Santa felt like leaving other presents to open, or we'd be all finished with Christmas," Kim snorted.

"You mean Santa left me other presents, too?" Olivia squealed and made a dash for the bedroom door.

"You know, I think Santa was pretty good to all of us this year," Tommy said as he sat in his bed with his arms around Kim, hugging her tightly.  She beamed up at him happily, unable to find her voice.  "I think this will be a Christmas we _all_ remember for a long time."  Kim reached up to cup his cheek, and he leaned down, capturing her mouth in a sweet kiss.

"Mommy!  Tommy!  Come see!" Olivia exclaimed, dashing back into the room.  

Tommy peered up past Kim's shoulder and noticed Olivia watching them, grinning like a Cheshire cat. 

"We're coming, Sweetie," Kim said as they reluctantly parted and emerged from under the covers.

"Santa brought me a pink bike!" Olivia babbled on.  Then, she paused, eyeing the two critically.  "Your pajamas match!"

"You know, this explains all those looks she's been giving us for the last month," Tommy said as he caught Kim's hands.

"I had the feeling she was setting us up for something," Kim added.

"Hurry up!" Olivia insisted, marching over and taking the pair by the hand, dragging them along with her.  "Tommy, when can I start calling you 'Daddy?'"

The End


End file.
